A Blandings novel Unwelcome guests are descending on Blandings Castle - particularly the overbearing Duke of Dunstable, who settles in the Garden Suite with no intention of leaving, and Lady Constance, Lord Emsworth's sister and a lady of firm disposition, who arrives unexpectedly from New York. Skulduggery is also afoot involving the sale of a modern nude painting (mistaken by Lord Emsworth for a pig). It's enough to take the noble earl on the short journey to the end of his wits. Luckily Clarence's brother Galahad Threepwood, cheery survivor of the raffish Pelican Club, is on hand to set things right, restore sundered lovers and even solve all the mysteries.

When a bratty Hollywood child star and an English aristocrat exchange souls at the dentist in Laughing Gas, the result is transatlantic mayhem at its funniest.

There's a Monster in a tower, and she's killed everyone who's ever tried to go up against her. So far.Maybe she's just waiting for that special someone?I guess we'll find out together."I practically skipped over toward the green ninety gallon trash tote. I lifted the hinged lid of the trash can, swung it open, and tossed in the diaper. That's when Destiny not only called my name, she also spit in my face, thumbed her nose, and blew me a big old raspberry. Lucky me." Those crazy Madams of Mischief, Destiny, Lady Luck, and Fate seem to be out to get Marty Sheffield! Marty just wants to live her quiet life in her quiet town while recovering from being left at the altar by up-and-coming country music star, Ricky Ray Riley. The Doom Divas seem to have other ideas, though. While babysitting her sister's kids, Marty finds the body of a former classmate wedged in a ninety-gallon trash container at a local park. With the help of her sister, Marty sets out to solve the mystery and save her own hide before it's too late.

One of the most influential works of modern American fiction is available for the first time as an eBook, featuring a new Author’s Note, as well as an Introduction by Joshua Ferris. Since its publication in 1996, George Saunders’s debut collection has grown in estimation from a cherished cult classic to a masterpiece of the form and inspired an entire generation of writers. In six stories (“CivilWarLand in Bad Decline,” “Isabelle,” “The Wavemaker Falters,” “The 400-Pound CEO,” “Offloading for Mrs. Schwartz,” “Downtrodden Mary’s Failed Campaign of Terror”) and a novella (“Bounty”), Saunders introduces readers to an unforgettable cast of characters struggling to survive in an increasingly haywire world. With original commentary from Joshua Ferris and Saunders himself, this eBook edition is the perfect occasion to discover or revisit a virtuosic, uniquely American voice. BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from George Saunders's Tenth of December. Praise for George Saunders and *CivilWarLand in Bad Decline “There is no author I recommend to people more often—for ten years I’ve urged George Saunders onto everyone and everyone. You want funny? Saunders is your man. You want emotional heft? Saunders again. You want stories that are actually about something—stories that again and again get to the meat of matters of life and death and justice and country? Saunders. There is no one better, no one more essential to our national sense of self and sanity.”—Dave Eggers “The debut of an exciting new voice in fiction . . . Saunders’s satiric vision of America is dark and demented; it’s also ferocious and very funny.”—Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times “Not since Twain has America produced a satirist this funny.”—Zadie Smith “George Saunders makes the all-but-impossible look effortless. We’re lucky to have him.”—Jonathan Franzen “An astoundingly tuned voice—graceful, dark, authentic, and funny—telling just the kinds of stories we need to get us through these times.”—Thomas Pynchon “In CivilWarLand in Bad Decline, George Saunders is improvising around a single scary note. Few writers have sounded it with such clarity, boldness, and wit.”—The Philadelphia Inquirer “Subversive, hilarious, and emotionally piercing. Few writers can encompass that range of adjectives, but Saunders is a true original—restlessly inventive, yet deeply humane.”—Jennifer Egan “This book is a rare event: a brilliant new satirist bursting out of the gate in full stride, wildly funny, pure, generous—all that a great humorist should be.”—Garrison Keillor “[Saunders has] shades of both Denis Johnson and Raymond Chandler. . . . By turns he’s ferocious, witty, and uproarious, but what makes his fiction memorable is the gravitas of its dark portraiture of America.”—The Boston Globe*

A humorous tale of assumption, supposition and realisation between a pilot and a young press photographer.In this free Justin Graves short story, meet a couple of likeable accessories to murder, Rottweiler brothers King and Cong, whose master has had enough of his wife’s hateful belittling. He devises what he believes to be the perfect crime based on years of watching television crime shows and noting the mistakes other killers had made that got them busted. Problem is, he doesn’t know about Justin Graves and his uncanny investigative skills.

What will it take for a cynical older sister to realize she's a born accordion player -- with music in her heart? Eugenia Lincoln is a practical person with no time for gee-gaws, whoop-de-whoops, or frivolity. When an unexpected package containing an accordion arrives at her house, she is determined to have nothing to do with it. But her plans to sell the accordion, destroy the accordion, and give the accordion away all end in frustration. How can Eugenia stop being tormented by this troublesome package? Might she discover that a bit of unforeseen frivolity could be surprisingly . . . joyous?

Adam Evans has always felt like the universe was mocking him. That only gets worse when he's charged with murder under bizarre circumstances and exiled from existence. Facing a life of utter solitude, he seizes the opportunity to escape with a strange girl. He's determined to put his life back together, but he never could have guessed how crazy things were about to become.Red lives with her mother in a small town on Exmoor. She's got a yearning for Connor, the local garage owner, who perhaps has a yearning for her. They're thrown together in the most unlikely way when Red's mother gets involved with a handsome man with a perfect smile. He won't take no for an answer and Red is starting to get worried. Connor has a theory, but should Red take him seriously? A short story to while away your bus/train journey. For 16 years upwards.

This humorous short story introduces a fictional world called "Hilbert Space".The name, an homage to the mathematical concept of a Hilbert Space, is not the only reference to modern day science you will find. Let Professor Tinwin, an eccentric scientist, explain to you what makes Hilbert Space the most interesting place in the observable universe and how it all comes down to entropy in the end.This humorous short story introduces a fictional world called "Hilbert Space".The name, an homage to the mathematical concept of a Hilbert Space, is not the only reference to modern day science you will find.Let Professor Tinwin, an eccentric scientist, explain to you what makes Hilbert Space the most interesting place in the observable universe and how it all comes down to entropy in the end.Follow him on an adventure at the desert planet Kevar 7 where you can learn a lot about ancient Tinillian poetry and find out, how neglacting air resistance can save your life.

Fr. Arthur Gerdtz is on a mission from God. His church is fighting for relevance in the modern world. Attendances are dwindling, atheism is on the rise, and Instagram celebrities are bigger than Jesus. This veteran priest is in grave danger of losing his religion.Until he decides to introduce some Old Testament values to the twenty-first century.FALSE ICONS & SACRED COWS is part one of HOLLYWOOD HACK JOB, with parts two and three due for release in the coming months.

Together Lucy and her alter ego, Shallow Lucy, navigate life's dating minefields. They battle for control of Lucy's love life through dates with Toothless Stanley and the son of Sasquatch. Lucy listens patiently to first-date stories like the gentleman who came home to find his ex-wife with a sheep, a pot-bellied pig and a man wearing nothing but pink leather chaps and a fuchsia boa.If you find yourself swimming in the dating pool, Woodchuck Martinis will arm you with important skills such as:1. Refocusing attention away from your fixation on a perceived physical “flaw” on a first date (like the fact that his back appears to be entirely covered with pubic hair) in order to evaluate the entire man.2. Knowing when to put down the Ben & Jerry’s and just walk away as you stare at the phone, spoon in hand, willing it to ring awaiting his promised call days after the first time you’ve had sex with your new love interest.3. Devising and executing the perfect revenge for a cheating husband and his home-wrecking, 20-something girlfriend utilizing available items such as strategically placed poison ivy, a skunk, and a doggie door.4. Recognizing (and actually heeding) those pesky first-date red flags we all too often ignore when hopelessly lost in a sea of hormones. 5. Creating and implementing fool-proof date-ditching escape plans like (gasp!) being honest.6. Avoiding the not-so-fool-proof date-ditching escape plans like sneaking out a window to avoid the proverbial Death by Boredom Syndrome.

Clyde Simmons is one of Britain's most devoted, vocal, and well educated environmental activists. Just ask him and he'll be more than happy to tell you. Goaded into a position where it's time to put up or shut up, Clyde finds himself at an impasse. His friends have a scheme and they need one more pair of hands. Will Clyde prove his mettle, or prove he's a poseur?Time Coins Stolen! An Impossible Crime And The Thief Remains At Large!Greg Thompson is nothing more than an average 16-year-old boy living a carefree life in Grass Valley, California. But that all changes when he witnesses a hit and run accident. Before the homeless man dies, he hands Greg a handwritten notebook leading to a treasure cache.Greg plucks an all too familiar coin from the loot, and is thrust into an adventure he never saw coming.The Keepers of Time are on the hunt for the stolen time coins, and will wreak havoc to recover their loss devices, including unraveling the lives of any who stand in their way.Greg Thompson, aided by a mysterious ally, will jump across space and time to avoid the unimaginable grasp the Keepers hold over the ARROW OF TIME!

Nobody has seen Cobera for awhile! Leros is asked to investigate and finds out she is shedding, offering his expertise and getting caught in a whirlwind of romance and humor. Featuring Cobera, the humanoid snake, Lilica, the petlan, and Mimi, the succubus; join Leros on another crazy adventure in the dark palace!Aden is a university football player. Riley is a law student at Stanford. They have been madly in love with each other since day one, but can an accident that leaves Aden mute, put a strain on their relationship? Will a breakthrough surgery help Aden regain his speech? Follow Aden and Riley's story through the ups and downs of their relationship and through their experiences with shady doctors and through enduring friendships.

Single mom Lizabeth Kane isn't exactly carpenter material -- she's never picked up a hammer in her life. But she desperately needs the construction job that builder Matt Hallahan is offering. And even though he knows trouble is ahead, Matt can't refuse Lizbeth's irresistible smile. Matt Hallahan isn't exactly relationship material -- he has always been too busy working on other people's houses to make a home of his own. And even though she knows better, Lizabeth can't stop thinking about the rugged carpenter. Is the relationship Matt and Lizabeth are building solid -- or more like a house of cards?

MBA is a rollicking comic novel of business treachery featuring duct tape, classic rock, golf, cars, nudity, business principles and family values. It is a fun read with a message (sort of). MBA is offered in original and mild versions (PG – profanity lite). This is the PG version.MBA is a rollicking comic novel of business treachery featuring duct tape, classic rock, golf, cars, nudity, business principles and family values. It is a fun read with a message (sort of). MBA is offered in original and mild versions (PG – profanity lite). This is the PG version. MBA is the story of a young Ohio lad that follows his dreams (e.g. girlfriend) to a start up facility in North Carolina where he encounters a host of colorful characters both good and not so good that test his character and guide him into manhood. The life lessons his dad teaches him through golf and assorted twisted stories cement a foundation that allows Mick to overcome a series of struggles and challenges created by a series of MBAs with questionable agendas. If you are looking for deep wisdom and dense prose, look elsewhere. If you want a fun read that might make you think a little bit and (hopefully) laugh a lot, you are in the right place.