The day her twins leave home, Eva climbs into bed and stays there. For seventeen years she's wanted to yell at the world, 'Stop! I want to get off'. Finally, this is her chance. Her husband Brian, an astronomer having an unsatisfactory affair, is upset. Who will cook his dinner? Eva, he complains, is attention seeking. But word of Eva's defiance spreads. Legions of fans, believing she is protesting, gather in the street. While Alexander the white van man brings tea, toast and sympathy. And from this odd but comforting place Eva begins to see both herself and the world very, very differently. . .

It was many years ago. Hadleyburg was the most honest and upright town in all the region round about. It had kept that reputation unsmirched during three generations, and was prouder of it than of any other of its possessions. It was so proud of it, and so anxious to insure its perpetuation, that it began to teach the principles of honest dealing to its babies in the cradle, and made the like teachings the staple of their culture thenceforward through all the years devoted to their education. Also, throughout the formative years temptations were kept out of the way of the young people, so that their honesty could have every chance to harden and solidify, and become a part of their very bone. The neighbouring towns were jealous of this honourable supremacy, and affected to sneer at Hadleyburg's pride in it and call it vanity; but all the same they were obliged to acknowledge that Hadleyburg was in reality an incorruptible town; and if pressed they would also acknowledge that the mere fact that a young man hailed from Hadleyburg was all the recommendation he needed when he went forth from his natal town to seek for responsible employment.

When the Diamond Brothers receive an invitation to a school reunion on a remote Scottish island, things seem to be looking up. But Nick's got a bad feeling, and it's not indigestion. And when he meets their fellow guests, the feeling only gets worse - especially when they start dying in ever more bizarre ways!

This anthology contains volumes 31-34 of the humor and satire zine, Green Jean Humor.This is a selection of OMR - One Minute Reads. Each week when I attended Pomona Writers Group 2012 the facilitator gave us homework to write no more than five hundred words on the title he chose.Hope you indeed enjoy reading these OMR - One Minute Reads as I have had in writing and publishing them.

Looking to get lucky? Stephanie Plum is back between-the-numbers and she’s looking to get lucky in an Atlantic City hotel room, in a Winnebago, and with a brown-eyed stud who has stolen her heart. Stephanie Plum has a way of attracting danger, lunatics, oddballs, bad luck . . . and mystery men. And no one is more mysterious than the unmentionable Diesel. He’s back and hot on the trail of a little man in green pants who’s lost a giant bag of money. Problem is, the money isn’t exactly lost. Stephanie’s Grandma Mazur has found it, and like any good Jersey senior citizen, she’s hightailed it in a Winnebago to Atlantic City and hit the slots. With Lula and Connie in tow, Stephanie attempts to bring Grandma home, but the luck of the Irish is rubbing off on everyone: Lula’s found a job modeling plus-size lingerie. Connie’s found a guy. Diesel’s found Stephanie. And Stephanie has found herself in over her head with a caper involving thrice-stolen money, a racehorse, a car chase, and a bad case of hives. Plum Lucky is an all-you-can-eat buffet of thrills, chills, shrimp cocktail, plus-size underwear, and scorching hot men. It’s a between-the-numbers treat no Evanovich fan will want to miss! 

If "The Divine Comedy" and "Catcher in the Rye" had a love child, "The Divine Dantes: Squirt Guns in Hades" would be it. The novel is the first in a trilogy of laugh-out-loud books paralleling Dante Alighieri's classic poem, "The Divine Comedy," where the characters of The Inferno are encountered in modern times with surprising results. Read this literary, rock, love story today!This is the free prologue to The Divine Dantes trilogy by Andrew Barger!“. . . a lively and good-natured work with a great deal of humor and wordplay . . ..” —Publisher's Weekly Reviewer“ . . . reminds me a little of the fun I find in Carl Hiaasen or Christopher Moore, but he definitely has his own vibe . . . .” —Breakthrough Novel Award Expert ReviewerIf "The Divine Comedy" and "Catcher in the Rye" had a love child, "The Divine Dantes: Squirt Guns in Hades" would be it. The novel is the first in a trilogy of laugh-out-loud books paralleling Dante Alighieri's classic poem, "The Divine Comedy," where the characters of The Inferno are encountered in modern times with surprising results. At the center is Eddie, a young rocker who is heartbroken after his girlfriend, Beatrice, leaves for Venice. This not only ends their relationship, but also the world's greatest two-person rock band. At Beatrice's request, Virgil-their erstwhile manager-cum-travel-agent guides Eddie to Europe to meet her without Eddie being in on the secret. Will Eddie want to see Beatrice? Will the band get back together? And if it does, can Eddie settle on a name for it? Read this literary, rock, love story today!

Now with seven bonus stories! Is man by nature evil, or stupid, or both? These short-short stories (plus seven bonus stories) let you decide. Great short reading for travel, leisure, or any occasion where you need to conscipuously ignore the person next to you. Short-short stories, humor.Now with four bonus stories! Is man by nature evil, or stupid, or both? These short-short stories (plus seven bonus stories) let you decide. Great short reading for travel, leisure, or any occasion where you need to conscipuously ignore the person next to you. Short-short stories, humor.

A peek inside the mind of an American refugee stranded penniless in Sweden during the height of the Vietnam War.After burning most of my bridges in the States, I fled to Sweden in the winter of 1972 to avoid the draft. I had just enough money to buy an old used typewriter and was heavily influenced by Louis-Ferdinand Celine when I wrote this story. The American deserter community had recently been decimated by drug arrests and the remnants that remained seemed to be under surveillance from a variety of intelligence agencies.

When teen vampire Erin's bat mysteriously gains weight, her friends Trug and Nevin investigate. Clues lead them to a graveyard and pizzeria. Then a zombie shows up and the guano hits the fan.A comedy short story by award-winning humorist Norm CowiePreston Cunningham and Arvie were the best of friends. Raised in the quaint New England Town of West Brookfield, Massachusetts, an hours drive from the world famous Tanglewood, the summer home of The Boston Pops Orchestra in the heart of The Berkshires.In a scheduled marathon, they were entered into the appropriate age category and trained for the race. Mr. Silverberg was their scoutmaster, and it was he who instilled the basic values in Preston's life.Life changed for the two young men when Preston was drafted into the Army in 1966, and Arvie entered helicopter flight school at Fort Rucker Alabama.With the possibility of serving two years in Vietnam, Preston opted for the Army's new four year program and within three months was assigned to one of the most prestigious military intelligence units in Europe.Following 16 months of living in a civilian status position in Frankfurt. The benefit of civilian clothes, an apartment in the center of the city and a chauffer, the Army in disregard of Preston's contract pulled him out of Germany and sent him to Vietnam.At about the same time, Arvie was assigned as a new young pilot to a medical unit in Vietnam. In January of 1969, Arvie was killed in a horrific air crash. Years later, at the dedication of The Vietnam Veteran's Memorial in Washington, D.C., it was by chance that Preston was searching for the names of his fallen comrades when he came upon Arvie's name on The Wall.Angered by the events of the war, ahd now as a civilian and able to put into words what he was prohibited from doing when he was a soldier, Preston wrote a poster poem about the pain and anger he suffered with the loss of his dear friend Arvid Silverberg.The poster poem was presentedto President Ronald Reagan and in a surprise move displayed it in the White House, and from that moment on The Wall - The Poem became a national best seller.UP UNTIL THIS TIME THE STORY IS TRUE BUT HERE ON IT IS FICTIONPreston Cunningham becomes the first Vietnam Veteran President of The United States, and returns to The Wall upon taking the oath of office and searches for Arvie's name...This book is free and it is the desire of this author that you will read the other books abailable in this series. Thank you!

Durrell's hilarious and warm My Family and Other Animals (1957) began a trio of reminiscences of his life growing up with a slightly dotty family—the overbearing and omniscient Larry; the affectionate and loving siblings, Margot and Leslie; and, of course, the overburdened and patient Mother—on the island of Corfu in the 1930s, when a pound could buy a villa and life was conducted as a series of riotously high (and sometimes low) adventures. But what shines through these five vignettes is the author's engagement with and immense affection for animals in all their forms. From fish to fowl, from lizards to little water fleas (daphnia), Durrell's eye is acute and his prose is tart. You can read this book for the humor alone (for he did perceive his family as some rare and rarefied species), but between the lines you can discern the makings of a world-class naturalist and a cultivated and engaging writer.

Plum Pie is perhaps Wodehouse's best-loved short story collection--no surprise as it features a true Wodehouse trifecta--Jeeves, golf, and Blandings Castle.

Ten stories recount the Devil's exploits, successes and failures, in Hell and in the world above.

God's other son, Colin, who was edited out of the Bible when Jesus got artistic control, is a bit pissed off. Well wouldn't you be, with your brother stealing the lime-light like that? But now God's been murdered, and there's no way Colin's gonna let the meek inherit the Earth. He's in charge now.

Cameron Peralt returns to his boyhood home long after his mother's death and finds that a heavy metal band is now living there. He attempts to get them to leave and the battle begins. Light humor.After the interest created by his recently published ebook The Onion Peeler,as promised is the first of two volumes of what the author describes as street poetry,after the style of that great Australian Poet Banjo Paterson. Most of these poems are in a humerous vein and a number are love letters to his beloved City of Nottingham and its people,the remaining poems are a reflection of the darker side of life,human nature,and various events.

Snap, Crackle, Pop Culture! Have a Euro sandwich with a side of Americana!A collection of humorous articles and cheaply personal musings that cover the full spectrum from an app that translates Keith Richards into English to proof that Ringo broke up the Beatles. Disney buys the Holy Land! Chicago changes its name to Boston! Twitter success in 10 easy tweets and other essential insights.Snap, Crackle, Pop Culture! Have a Euro sandwich with a side of Americana!An app that translates Keith Richards into English. Disney buys the Holy Land just after Chicago changes its name to Boston. Proof that Ringo broke up the Beatles and Twitter success in 10 easy tweets.A collection of humorous articles and cheaply personal musings that cover the full spectrum from high tech to low brow.Offered as a free e-book (wherever possible) in the hope that you’ll be entertained and intrigued enough to read "No Roads Lead to Rome" and "Aqueduct to Nowhere."