Each forming their own reactions
So much life all around
But none in me to be found
I watch it pass me on by
Feel like a satellite in the sky
Life so near yet it's so far
The world's there, the door ajar
It's tempting as a cake
Yet I cannot partake
I stand and watch, all alone
Listening like I'm on a phone
I want to join in that life
But I just can't seem to get it right
Life
Darkness and gloom is all that you'll see
Nary a spark to light the way will there be
Pain and suffering will fill you, it's true
The pain will consume you no matter what you do
Then loneliness and loss will make it a hell
The loss will be great, whatever you tell
Next despair will come to cap off the bill
Lost in this hell, regardless of your will
The suffering is greater then whatever you know
It's a hell on earth, where ever you go
This is life, the life that you choose
The one they tell you never to lose
They, the ones who haven't a clue
What it's like to be only you
What a wonder this life is they'll say
Without ever living a second of your day
They'll tell you how valuable it is
Without a clue of the pain that is
They'll say that you must soldier on
For them and for you, march ever on
They'll make you guilty for wanting out
But they haven't a clue, without a doubt
I'm here to tell you there's a better way
You can end it forever on any day
All you need to do is be strong and true
You can end the pain and the darkness too
Choose to exit this life of despair
It's the only way that to you is fair
Do it now before it's too late
And the pain becomes too great
Life Is
Life is a sunset
Life is a sunrise
Life is a baby's smile
Life is her first steps
Life is the first bike ride, without training wheels
Life is a warm hug
Life is a loving kiss
Life is love
Life is the burble of a brook
Life is the sigh of the breeze through the trees
Life is a thunderstorm
Life is a rainbow after the thunderstorm
Life is the chuckles after a joke
Life is friends, may they always be there
Life is beautiful
Life is a gift
Life is a treasure
life is something I'm trying for, desperately.
Life is worth dieing for
Life is something that seems to escape me, the harder I chase it, the faster it runs away
Life is... everything
Lost In Time, Lost In Space
Lost in time, lost in space
Never will I join this race
Soldier ants make their rounds
I just sit here out of bounds
Rocky walls are all around
Blocking life that abounds
Lost connections slip away
Came to play, lost today
Sitting here in the dark
To life's call cannot hark
All alone, locked far away
Maybe I'll live another day
Masks
Masks cover layers unseen
Hide tears behind a screen
Keep out the world so mean
Heart saved from edge so keen
Layers upon layers so deep
Our souls in safety do keep
E'er the watch forsakes sleep
Save us from the pain we reap
One mask, two masks, three
Hide us so not one can see
Except those we make trustee
Even then they cannot see me
Meltdown
Shattered bedrock, endless quakes
Foundation crumbled, shifting sands
Violent raging rivers of madness
Sweeping across all of the lands
This simply can no longer go on
Raining destruction everywhere
No innocents deserve exposure
For not one lifeform is it near fair
Of this world doomed never to be part
The raving beast from deep in the mind
Down it must be put like a rabid dog
Then me the world can put at last behind
My Walls
Behind forbidding immense walls ever to dwell
Built to restrain an intensely personal hell
Primary function not to protect me from you
Instead to insure you never share my hell too
Beautiful hearts work to disassemble the walls
Heart to heart ever their love to me calls
But the evil cold darkness hiding on the inside
Would destroy all the beauty, that I cannot abide
So in raging madness forced repeatedly to flee
Desperately repairing the walls to imprison me
So the evil beast inside can harm no one I love
Keep them safe from me I plead to God above
My Life
My life is a bright and shining star
That I must worship from afar
My life is love so pure and true
And all the joy in my world too
My life is so precious and charmed
And I must never let it be harmed
My life is full of wonder and awe
At what my life is, that's all
My life always brings me smiles
Across the distance, all the miles
My life is happiness and joy
Makes me feel like a little boy
My life is beauty ever so deep
Once it was mine all to keep
My life is my everything and all
Forever and a day, holds me in thrall
I'll miss my life once it's gone
But forever my love marches on
Love of life, love so strong
I'll never let it go wrong
My life is all the world to me
'Cause it's my life, don't you see?
My life is my life
My Mind's Meanderings
An oblate spheroid covered in blues and greens
Here and there spots of brown,
the top and bottom covered in white,
So huge yet so tiny
Half of it in bright light,
the other half in shadow
The light side shadowed by clouds
On the shadowed side can be seen myriad spots of light
Move closer and you can see features
Through the clouds
Oceans and continents
Great rivers and seas
Closer still and mountain ranges stand out
Chasms and canyons, great mountains and forests
Tiny spots that become cities
Almost lost in the vastness
And closer still -
Those cities become buildings
Vast to the ants that crawl among them
Moving purposefully about their business
Each tiny ant a person,
Each person a world unto themself
With wants and needs,
Fears and hopes
A microcosm inside the vast macrocosm of the planet
Yet the planet is but a spec in the eye of the cosmos
It calls itself home to all of us
It's insignificance is awe inspiring
How can we be so important
When our home is but a tiny spec
Among other specs, among still others
Wipe it away and the universe will scarce take notice
All things will go on as they must
My World, My Life
My world is dark as midnight
It's dark and lonely
And it smothers the light
Cause I am the only
My world is bright as the sun
Full of life and light
So much joy and such fun
Everything so right
Then the shadows come back
All self hatred and pain
It's all so off track
the tears flow like rain
Followed again by the light of day
All energy and smiles
Please let it stay
Over all of the miles
The cycle continues
Of darkness and light
It tests nerves and sinews
And sanity takes flight
Normallity I taste
Every once in a while
But hope is a waste
I dare not defile
This life is mine
The one God gave me
Maybe not so fine
Think I'll just let it be
Mythology Fulfilled
I soared on waxen wings high above the pit
An intensely rapid flight, higher, ever higher
Mythology fulfilled, too close to blazing orb
Wings melted, I plunged down into hell fire
Up, down, whirling about, round and round
Mind twisted, evil thoughts bred of the beast
Soul shredded, bloody wounds old and new
Agonized torment, self despite ever unreleased
The grave's icy darkness suffuses the cave
Despair and loneliness permeates the air
Fumes of bubbling madness roil about
Paralyzing fear of the life that's out there
Safely ensconced inside the stone walls
In there I will never be faced with myself
Protecting the world from the vile tempest
Interring for eternity this most ugly elf
No Peace For Me Will There Ever Be
The beast is coming, he is back
And he will cut me no slack
Closer he creeps, stronger he grows
How to stop him nobody knows
His steely claws dug deep in my head
I'm here to get you is what he said
To grab you and make you wish to die
I hear him say it with naught but a sigh
Ice cold fingers of death and doom
Fill my head with nothing but gloom
Into my mind like a thief he creeps
And into me all his evil seeps
It's no use fighting him it seems
He's there to ruin all of my dreams
Like the tide he just can't be stopped
Not even when all my bubbles are popped
Inward he sneaks and stronger he grows
Why he comes each of us knows
He'll make me weep, my sanity destroy
He treats my heart like his own little toy
Into shreds he'll rip my sacred soul
Nothing but sorrow will he dole
His playground will be my precious mind
I cannot fight him with anything in kind
He is strength where I am so weak
Yet some peace is all that I seek
No peace for me will there ever be
As long as his war washes over me
Normalcy
Outside the sun's not shining
The temperature's nice and cool
It's nowhere near nice enough
To go swimming in the pool
But in here, in my heart and soul
It's so warm and oh so sunny
That I feel I'm blinded by the light
It's so bright it's not even funny
Things have changed for the better
I'm full of normalcy and good feelings
The dark is gone and the light is back
I thank the Lord for these healings
Now to the future I am looking
Eagerly and with so much hope
The future is so much brighter
Then the jewelry worn by the Pope
Out Of Space And Out Of Time
Out of space and out of time
Waiting for that magic chime
A bell rings when all is done
Signals goodbye to everyone
Tic toc tic toc tic toc
Ever onward goes the clock
Never back and it cannot pause
There is but one escape clause
Whirling round, over the top
Will it never, ever stop?
Voices rebound forth and back
Cunning beast plots his attack
Vicious onslaught on the walls
Against the attack all life palls
Darkened shadows enshroud my soul
Within the light I am but a hole
Normalcy - A Gift From God
What others take for granted
What they have very day
I cannot lose sight of
I like the feel, love the sound
Of being normal this day
Not sane or insane,
Only normal in every way
Except there is no only
To this gift that I've been given
The pain of the insanity
Has had it's strength truly riven
A gift is what it is for me,
But it's only a normal day for you
A true gift that I've been given
And a special prize for me too
No more insanity raving through me,
No more pain and tears flowing
No more emptiness inside me
For normalcy is now growing
No more racing thoughts and feelings
No more more risky behavior too
No more cutting, burning, punching
No more hiding in the loo
No more wishing for my death
No more planning to be dead
No more feeling bad and sad
For all the tears that I have shed
No more darkness to rule my life
Only joy and peace are sounding
The sanity has come back to me
And the light it is abounding
Normalcy is a gift from God
A treasure to be guarded
A gem rare and beautiful
And in my life it has started
Oh It's A Beautiful Day
Oh it's a beautiful day
Beneath the rain today
All is brown and gray
No colors, no way
All peaceful and still
As I walk up the hill
That ahead of me stands
Above all of the lands
With the cliff at the end
Like an earth's wound on the mend
Back there's where I'll stand
And survey all of the land
Stare at the gray lake
My breath it will take
Perchance to see a deer
Passing ever so near
The woods now are dying
As I stand here now crying
For the woods have sown
In me so alone
A sense of great peace
That will never cease
Once I Wandered A Land
Once I wandered a land of beauty and light
One where all things were trimmed in gold
Where joy filled the heart
And all things were possible
Where birds sang giving song to your soul
where green trees gave the breeze it's sigh
Where flowers peopled the land with color
Where hope was abundant, even overflowing
Where all was good and love abounded
&nbs
p; Once I wandered a land full of peace
Now where has the land gone?
I feel like Thomas Covenant come back to the land
just to find it withered and dying
For the land is a wasteland
Filled with grief and suffering
Eternal night rules the sky
And everlasting blackness cloaks to land
The trees are mere gnarled hulks of themselves
Not a green leaf to be found
The flowers are gone, replaced by desecration
The birds have all left to seek greener pastures
Despair now fills the heart
And hopelessness rules the soul
Hatred and putrefaction rule the land
There is no peace, no beauty or light to be found
Once I wandered a land.... now I hide from it.
One Day At A Time
A new day dawns, bright and clear
And with it all the things that I hold dear
Yesterday's gone with all it's trouble and woe
The emptiness has been filled, I love it so
Tomorrow's a dream that may never come
Today's all I have until it is done
One day at a time is all that there is
A single day is all, I'll make it my biz
For today I'll be fine, I shall not cry
I shall not hurt nor wonder why