It never surrenders
It asks no favors
It needs little feed
But it thrives on
a single chance
Just one is all it needs
One chance the key
They say hope springs eternal
I'm here to call them right
Hope never truly dies
Nor gives up the fight
I Am The Void And The Void Is Me
I drift in the void.
Alone, not even echoes to accompany me
Motionless, I spin through life
But it doesn't touch me
Abandoned by all
Neither do I touch life
Nothing to slow me down
Nothing to halt the spin
I am a hole in the fabric of life
A vacuum at it's center
I am the void, the void is me
It has consumed me
I am antimatter in the universe
Polar opposite to the matter of the world
I am nothing
A complete absence of all
A black whole in the substance of the universe
I drift anywhere, nowhere, everywhere
All of life passes me by
Passes right through me
I am without form,
Without substance
Nothing touches me
No joy, no pain, no love, no hatred, no tears
For I am the void and the void is me
I Am Trying To Be A Happier Soul
It has lifted, this dark and black mood
But I fear that it's not gone for good
It's still there at the edges somewhere
It makes me want to pull out my hair
I'm torn 2 ways, ever up and back down
Don't know where I'm going but I haven't a frown
Not a smile is there ever to be found
It's lost in the snow covered ground
But no frown is there upon my face
Not a one, not the slightest trace
I know that I'm moving out there somewhere
But the direction I'm going is up in the air
My mood is uncertain, it's changing somehow
If it doesn't get better then I will have a cow
My nerves they are frayed, all over I shake
I feel that I'm standing in an earthquake
My head is clogged with thoughts of all kind
I don't know whose they are but they aren't mine
I can't sleep a wink, not one little bit
The thoughts are running, it just doesn't fit
The world is spinning, it simply won't stop
I want off of this wildly whirling top
Like the world I spin around and around
The way to stop me hasn't been found
I know this spinning will stop someday
If only it happens before death comes my way
It exhausts me and makes me ever so tired
On the bottom I bounce, in the mud I am mired
I know that someday better it will be
This depressive person cannot be me
I am trying to be a happier soul
I don't know which way the dice will roll
I Need....
I need... an amorphous SOMETHING....
Some otherworldly magical life line
The need is appallingly overwhelming
Something out of space and out of time
Sickeningly weak and unable to stand
And face the world on my own two feet
I don't want yet I need a helping hand
Disgusts me so that my face I do beat
Obligations, connections are all around
Shackles that lock me into a fake non-life
They are all lost, nowhere to be found
Pangs of loneliness in my soul are rife
If in heaven a loving God there may be
He'll allow me to end it once and for all
For surely it is plain the waste that is me
Please let me answer death's peaceful call
I Once Was Sane
I once was sane but now I'm not
Insane thoughts in my head I've got
Thoughts of tearing and bashing all I see
Thoughts of smearing and smashing even me
I once was sane but now I'm crazy
In my head everything is hazy
It's all a blur and so indistinct
I can't keep going on instinct
I once was sane but now I'm insane
Any hope of normalcy is on the wane
Leaving me doubting my very mind
I once was sane but now I'm not
All hopes and dreams have gone to rot
I Sing A Good Song
I sing a good song
Don't get me wrong
But when it comes down to it
I find that I'm just not fit
To give anyone wise words
That's just for the birds
How can I counsel you
When I'm lost there too
Think not of death I cried
All the while inside me died
Get some air I said
While laying in my bed
You are worth it I crowed
While convinced I'm a load
I counseled you be strong
While knowing I was wrong
Strength is not for such as us
We don't have tickets for that bus
Life's God's gift to us I said
Always knowing where it led
To a lock it does lead
To unwanted life indeed
You are unique I stated
While life inside me waited
For the death that comes for sure
That will make everything so pure
It's not your fault I told you
And all the time I blame me too
I fear I've led you astray
It just won't ever go away
Death is the only sure escape
Superman I'm not, I have no cape
I'm just a man who thought he knew
But now I'm ready to join you too
I Speak In Code
I speak in code
Of things forbode
From deep inside
My twisted mind
Where alien voice
Assaults all choice
I'm On Top Of The World
I'm spinning round like a top
I never know where I'll stop
My thoughts they are a racing
And my feet they are a pacing
My hands they are trembling
Calm they're not resembling
My head it is awhirl,
I'm on top of the world
It's mine to do with as I please
Love and peace will never cease
It all lies at my feet
I will give me a treat
Lightning bolts I will hurl
From on high, the top of the world
Don't worry, if you've no hate
Then you'll not suffer that fate
Those with love I will gather
Everyone, it doesn't matter
Brothers we'll be, one and all
We will hold this world in thrall
So it's best you be full of love
Or off this world you I'll shove
Illusion
It is all just an illusion
A painful, bloody contusion
Reality so adverse
Silently rage and curse
Lost in endless confusion
I'm Sorry
I'm sorry is but a song we sing
When we break someone's wing
Worthless words in the air
If when spoken we don't care
If inside us they are real
Broken hearts they may heal
In My Darkened Sky
The world is black and so am I
The light never shines
In my darkened sky
The moon's not high
The stars don't twinkle
In my darkened sky
The cold is nigh
The black is palpable
In my darkened sky
In A Land Of Darkness Am I Lost
In a land of black darkness am I lost
I want out of this land no matter the cost
I'm tired of tears burning down my face
Of the thoughts setting my heart to race
Thoughts of death, of peace at last
It's set in stone, the die is cast
The emptiness that eats me alive
Is buried way down deep inside
It sucks up my soul and spits it out
The pain of it makes me shout
On the wind my cries are blown
No one to hear, away they've flown
Still in my head the echoes ring
But of love and joy I'll never sing
For no heart is inside of me
Just a hole like you'll never see
With death I have a date ahead of me
A date from which I cannot flee
Not at all do I worry over my fate
Peace at last, I just can't wait
Insanity
Whirling, twirling flashes of thought
Disharmony and discord is wrought
Kaleidoscopic, fractured images of color
Running down in endless streaks galore
A viciously spinning, sucking whirlpool
Eagerly devouring this weak, pitiful fool
Jagged flashes scorch mind's terrain
In the end is nothing but endless pain
Joy
Joy is a treasure to behold
It lightens the heart,
Or so I am told
Often sought, seldom found
It is the grease that
Lets this world go round
It is indeed a treasure
One of a few that
Always bring you pleasure
Yes joy is made of gold spun thread
So fragile yet so valuable
Always longed for, so it is said
So today seek your greatest joy
Don't treat it lightly
For your greatest joy isn't a toy
Wrap it tight in your arms
Treasure it always.
Ever keep it from harm
It'll serve you well when the chips are down
When the sun stops shining
When on your face grows a frown
Into The Wind
The wind blowing in my face
Sets my strong heart to race
The road that beneath my feet rolls by
Carries me to that great orb in the sky
White lines and blacktop stretching out
Leading to freedom without a doubt
Into the bend, scraping the pegs
The power throbs between my legs
Wide open throttle down the straight
Then hard on the brakes before it's too late
It matters not turning left or turning right
Each vista I pass is a brand new sight
One with the road going who knows where
Someplace off in the distance right over there
Listen sharp I hear the road calling me
I answer that call cause it sets me free
The wind in my face carries me away
To the land of my dreams on this beautiful day
Live free or die I have heard it said
On my two wheels I will never be led
The wind and the blacktop show me the way
To a land where dreams ever hold sway
Isolation
The walls press in like weights
The silence hangs like the dead sea
I'm the one who lately hates
The stillness that surrounds me
Other bodies fill my home
Noise and commotion do abound
Yet here I sit alone
In stillness with no sound
My head's full of the dark
My heart's broken in two
To my memories I do hark
They press in on me too
I'm isolated again
When facing others I just balk
Yet I remember when
I had friends with whom to talk
The loneliness is pain
It wreaks havoc in my soul
I'm sitting here again
The hurt takes it's toll
Don't know where I went wrong
That I deserve this ache
To be alone all day long
Is more then I can take
My world lacks any light
No joy does it contain
There's nothing that is bright
It's full of only pain
It Doesn't Work Anymore
Positive, negative, yin and yang
Ripped to shreds by bloodied fang
Here and now nothing makes sense
Nerves quivering so taught and tense
Rotten corruption buried deep inside
Driven to escape, run away and hide
No place in this world to ever belong
A puss filled blot, existence is wrong
On all the universe a most evil curse
A cancer, a chancre, even something worse
Just Going Along
Just going along, doing my thing
Come what may, where it might lead
Upstream or down it matters not
Seeking peace, alone is what I need
Passing all by, unseen as a phantom
Near and afar, o'er the edge and back
A smoky thin ghost made of vapor
An unseen and unseeable enigma
Untouched and untouchable forever
Ever apart from the world around
No place in reality whatsoever
It Is The Cycle Of BP, It Is Your Life
First it goes up then it goes down
Forever it goes around and around
Never resting, always spinning on and on
Destroying the mind till all sanity's gone
Inward it rolls then it turns out
Placing your sanity always in doubt
Never resting, never slowing
You never know where it is going
It carries with it your hopes and dreams
All resting on a whim or so it seems
It tosses them over here and there
It treats them without any care
Your sanity is it's play thing
No truth from it ever does ring
It makes you always question your mind
Places in doubt of what is it's kind
Onward it spins, forever it rolls
Never mindful of the pain it doles
Relationships it wrecks, lives it destroys
Plays with them like they are so many toys
It has no compassion, it never feels sorrow
It cares not a whit for today or tomorrow
All that matters is it spins like a top
And that it will never come to a stop
It is the cycle of BP, it is your life
It's always there, ever causing you strife
I've Fought It Before, I'll Fight It Again
The blackness, ever the black
Always the dark, never the light
It saps my strength, kills my resolve
It's impossible to continue the fight
This way I look, that way I stare
But I cannot see anything at all
To help me grasp the walls of the pit
I just cannot arrest my steep fall
It sucks at me, sucks at me
It drains all my will
That it is back at all
It is a most bitter pill
I ha
ve no defenses
Nothing left at all
All light in the world
It causes to pall
This pit that I'm in
Is ever so deep
I think that this day
Away I must sleep
If only my mind
Would shut down for good
In the sleep of the grave
Forever rest I could
The bitterness of hatred
Is what I feel for myself
In sorrow and pain
Must I always delve
What a joke this is
So rotten and cruel
This isn't funny
Nor is it a duel
I've fought it before
And I'll fight it again
I just wish that it didn't
Bring such goddamn pain
Just One Tiny Clue
I am... I have no clue
Just what am I?
Or maybe ask who?
Am I just a lie?
Would you give a hint?
Just one tiny clue?
I would give a mint
To just know who
Life Passing By
I walk outside and hear their voices
See them standing, walking, making choices
Actions and interactions,