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    The Unpublishables

    Page 2
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      a silver scepter in his white knuckled grip.

      Front right: the hooded friar, hands freshly washed,

      silently fingering his cross.

      Front left: the clean shaven, three-piece double vested

      executive distractedly clutching his blackened briefcase.

      Down center: the barefooted, the twinkling eyes.

      The accused.

      For truth is one and one is truth

      and so the youth are corrupted.

      We must, Yes we must, cleanse this thinking for

      this is the greatest nation the Earth has ever seen.

      You are freely given your choice, Socrates:

      Death,

      Death,

      Or Death.

      We cried and we groveled, oh dear one, don’t choose

      death,

      and we stood crushed

      as he glided, twittered and sang,

      trying to explain

      till the sun reached the rim of the horizon.

      Then he slowly brought the cup to his lips,

      smiled,

      and all watched as the sun rose brilliantly

      in his eyes,

      And the three accusers crept back to their temples.

      This too is a something poem

      Like the quanti-colored seeing

      Through a fly’s eye,

      The multi-glassed mirror

      Of a fly’s mind,

      A sensible knowing

      Before absurdity takes

      Whatever’s fair, foul, enamored of perfection

      Must fail-

      Sensibilities are ringed

      In rings of absurdities,

      Plethoras of pretty little poses

      Preparing us for death.

      Perspective is quite peculiar,

      Whatever we think or do

      Changes our circle of knowing –

      Absurdity fills in the differences

      As I am changed by you.

      Her mother’s face fallen like stunted groves,

      Once full now timbered devastation,

      Belies her grief, an encompassing globe,

      Denied the green love of forest station;

      For memories lie singular, like the soul wound

      Of lost species, trapped in her boy’s wooden tomb.

      He’s riding the ism rails

      He’s a riding the ism rails,

      dialectical iron constraints,

      contracting through vast plains of politics,

      religious icons, tyrants and dictators

      blurring by his window seat to the world.

      Ahead, the first class supper car breathes

      of twice cooked repast from a previous age.

      The engine steams over a groaning of bedrock ,

      and soil and bones.

      Looking ahead, straining

      against the glass, pressing to see

      still further,

      he sees the two-fold linear

      track of mind

      converge on the horizon;

      end of the line

      realism,

      vanishing point

      perspective.

      Loved One

      White walls with nameless magazines saying countless nothings.

      You turn to the next page.

      An intercom crackles and you gaze and wonder as a

      white-coated medicine man bustles by with a

      note-filled clipboard.

      Sterilization burns your nostrils.

      An obscure flash of white steps into your view.

      The blood pulsates on the back of your neck and

      your tongue sticks dryly in your throat.

      She beckons.

      You follow with an unintelligible nod and

      pursue the quick-paced heels as they click

      sharply on the square-tiled floor.

      You stumble after her trying to catch up but

      can never quite manage, when abruptly

      she stops. You are there.

      You hesitate,

      take a deep breath and enter blindly into

      the grim gaping mouth in front of you.

      Tubes.

      Tubes fill your vision.

      Coiled tubes alive with liquid life, they curl

      and rear in every direction.

      Upon a raised platform lies a silent figure about

      whom these tubes bury themselves…

      Deep.

      Deep into the nostrils, the throat, the chest,

      they look as if they twist throughout that

      configuration lying there.

      A bustle and you are guided with a gentle yet firm

      hand (that is neither warm nor cold) to the center

      of the room.

      You look into the silent figure’s face and your eyes feel

      oh so tired yet it is only a little past three.

      You stiffen and again focus your eyes on the face.

      Your mind longs to reach out and touch

      that pasty, grim visage but your hands lie frozen.

      A second has passed and the bustle of white leads

      you to the door with the same coldless,

      warmless grip.

      You are powerless to resist and move automatically.

      The closing of an electric door.

      Dusty gray jacket

      And drizzling dawn

      Start the rumbling tractor

      And low of dull knowing

      And waiting

      In their fettered stalls.

      Feet stamp and echo,

      The harness connected to the head,

      The engine steams

      In the morning muck

      Roars and approaches the shed.

      The harness is slipped on the tractor

      In its deadly game

      Of tug of war,

      Where both know the game is staged,

      Both know their appointed parts,

      And it is the man who lowers

      His eyes first,

      As the churning tractor

      Pulls the struggling cow

      Onto the muddy field

      And into the rising dawn.

      The head is raised,

      The straining force

      Lifted off her front feet;

      She tip toes in a death dance

      On choking, wobbling hind feet.

      The eyes wild and wide

      Stare unclosing,

      Nostrils flare,

      The gun is cocked,

      The barrel raised,

      A sudden blast

      Shocks the body

      In one great, slow,

      Rippling wave,

      Then after shocks

      As the bullet passes through bone

      To soft gray.

      “She’s only stunned,” he says,

      “so she won’t feel any pain.”

      The throat is cut,

      Urine and shit stream out

      In a sudden release,

      The blood is caught

      in a silver tinkling of pans,

      the body strains and pulses,

      a thin strand

      of flesh and bone

      the only connecting

      of body and head.

      The eyes glaze

      Then slowly dull

      In the growing light.

      The man looks at the boy

      And laughs. Smiling,

      He says something the boy

      Doesn’t quite understand;

      Something about life on the farm,

      Or maybe the meaning of life.

      Part Four

      Blue jay framed

      On aspen trunk

      Rusted oak bough

      Drifts to sleeping ground

      Blue sky chicory

      Folds at end of day

      Gnarled arm oak

      With raucous crow call.

      On a visit from a friend

      Although I did not tell you,

      I kept the towel you used

      long past
    wash day

      and every day I would dry

      my hair, my face, my chest

      and linger with your smell

      my eyes not seeing

      only feeling you:

      smile, quick eyed laughter

      friendsome touches.

      And though the fragrance of we

      is slowly fading,

      still in silence

      I sense your essence

      and wish

      you were here with me.

      I lift my hand

      From your moist embrace

      Head dizzied thick

      With the smell of love

      Lips brushing cheek

      In a tickle of peace

      Lips tremble weak

      In caress of love

      Sweet murmuring face

      Soft downed belly

      Hands in the hair

      Embrace

      Embrace

      Embrace

      Silk thin skins

      Rippling

      Joining

      Merging

      Swells of passion waves

      Twining

      Peace

      In passion

      Gaining

      The voices of little children leaves

      Trip and trickle across the ground,

      Scamper and skip with delight

      As the busy mother wind

      Bustles her children along

      To a cool damp winter’s sleep;

      She breathes and sighs in gusts

      With an ancient sadness and grief-

      She knows she will never see

      These little laughing feet

      In their summer’s growth again-

      And though she knows

      Death is but a beginning

      And all life weaves itself

      Into her pattern of now, yesterday and eternity,

      There is no solace in the sighing time,

      No end to grief in the dying time,

      In the deep of a cool damp winter’s sleep.

      The Rest Of It

      His voice, with longing, cracked the silence;

      He listened, then kneeled with a bowing sigh,

      His echo to emptiness but numbed defiance,

      Long now it seemed since he expected reply.

      For years by these blue, sun tipped glittering waves,

      By these myriad greens of its tangled shore,

      Some free will communion was all he craved,

      Yet still his mind filtered, fragmented and tore,

      “Enough, enough! There is nothing here,

      no origin, no co-creative cry,

      all these labors wasted in a blind fear

      or hope of some nature god before I die.”

      And death it seemed, his mind suddenly silent,

      Till he heard sharp clatter, heavy heaving flank,

      A snorting warning, mad dash, then sudden quiet;

      The immenseness crumpled him on the bank;

      For the first time he saw a grain of sand,

      Pure holy water beyond any demeaning;

      Himself no more than imposing demands,

      While life was singing, a choir full of meaning.

      Poised my heart lifted

      like the prayerful step of a heron

      my tethered soul pulling against the shore

      I smell crushed mint

      see fresh velvet scraped

      on the bare branches of elderberry

      and I long for the curves of your arms

      like an otter twisting

      under the covers of our bed

      tumbling,

      diving like swallows

      over the river

      at last light

      Like the gulls which are born to flight,

      We are born to love—

      Easy, freely, in harmony,

      Yet, we fear the faithful giving;

      Of being eaten by the uneven,

      Our flesh being torn from our being,

      And it being torn, being all.

      Now for almost always

      until again today

      snuggling her

      ducking

      under down

      covers kisses

      forever and again

      and always

      at night

      walking wet

      pavement

      through

      rings of

      deserted street

      light

      I miss you already

      and I fear the unknowing

      like a faulty gas gauge

      your head nodding up and down

      as you nap on uncertain roads

      dark trees crowding the embankment

      These poems are for the lovers

      Not for the poets to see

      And pick apart – discerning

      Fingers probing for art

      In this part of a part,

      Because beyond them are the lovers

      Who feel or not that this is their poem:

      The whole which is for seething lovers,

      The parts for sermonizing poets.

      I write naïve passions my soul to save

      Full low with mutterings forlorn and grave.

      None should read this but for painstaking fame,

      Some ethereal substance beyond men’s blame

      And praise, some heart easing passion and much

      Cerebral pain. So be it, but to touch

      The garments of those whose wheels turn with truth,

      To recover old age with spiritual youth.

      Mark me, Grammarians! Stilted seem I?

      Then read me not, I do not yet deny.

      You Diggers, stand your ground; no more shall I be

      But humble as soil, I shall conceive.

      Part Five

      While Journeying With Red Cross Knight

      From under Lucifera’s gilded gate,

      He seeks with an ever increasing haste

      The key unlocking his black widowed fate

      With stinging prodding pride. “Wither now, chaste

      Lad?” Pride says in sighing from its cased

      Vault. “Look here! Fathers upon fathers lie

      All mute, their fearful flesh to oily paste

      Pressed, yet on and on your weary bones fly.

      Do you not know their fate is thine? To lie

      Such toilsome task is not unmeet, for thou must die.”

      to professor _ in english 215

      Mock on, mock on in two fifteen,

      Do you not know that you have been

      But we must be? “but what,” I cried,

      “content with nothing and with nothing pleased

      till self and pain to gentle grave are eased?

      Is there no shore for raging tide

      Or age as sight for youth diseased and blind?

      Has he not taught and I not learned in kind

      That to live is to love, truth’s realm abide:

      Man’s greatest works receive, her vile despise,

      E’er with good humor and sense realize?

      For he but breaks and batters buttressed pride

      And thus shall never die some mere muted sound,

      But in his pupils beating breasts astound and resound.”

      When in rhymes beyond time,

      I read of loves divine,

      Sublime,

      Their sweetest breaths

      Move me not

      Like my imagination pressed

      To blessedness

      By your working dress

      And unmade face

      And subtle grace

      Of household laughter

      Coursing through the day,

      For all cry out “Love!”

      Love past an ephemeral urge

      With passion purged

      Till we have become

      What the poets yearn

      What men have forgot,

      And what the gods have learned.

      Men Who Run With The Wolves

      It’s a dog eat dog world-

     
    ; Damn their hoary hides!

      Nothing can be taken whole

      But needs be rent, torn, wrecked

      Before another uses what once was theirs.

      You’d think they’d let go-

      Lie down gracefully

      In their last patch of sun;

      But no,

      They gnarl and growl

      At even the youngest pup,

      Just to gnaw their last gristled bone.

      They know it’s mine; justly mine.

      It’s they who demanded

      I smear their hapless blood

      Upon my maw,

      Their gray beards twitching

      Feebly under fangs of destiny.

      They desired this blood letting,

      And may it speed their

      Once proud dreams-

      Maybe even now,

      In their last consciousness,

      They still believe

      They run in front of the pack-

      A gentler day, graciously

      Engraved on their mite-eaten brains,

      But now, now

      There is something new under the sun;

      I lead

      And am no trembling maid servant;

      The pack follows my destiny,

      If I die, the pack dies,

      May I be glorified, eternally.

      White pine, soft pine

      Five-needled gentleness

      Against the blue of an autumn sky;

      These once ancient giants

      Of a virgin wilderness

      Have regrown to a mere post adolescence

      And still are felled

      To build more houses

      Or sheared off the land

      Like an unwanted growth

      For a “better, pre-fabricated,

      Corporate consumer” lawn.

      My pine –

      A six inch twig in dirt

      Given to me in the first grade;

      I don’t know how it survived

      Much less endured the uprootings

      And sandy soil of its youth,

      Yet, there it stands

      A little pine amidst pines

      In a tiny wooded spot

      Intersected by homes;

      For twenty-two years it’s been growing

      In that shaded overgrowth

      And still my thumb and forefinger

      Can still touch as I curve

      My hand around its smooth gray skin;

      It’s been a crowded time,

      Both our lives stunted

      In tightened rings of waiting

      For openings to the sun.

      We didn’t anticipate the powerlines.

      The tree will need to be severely pruned.

      But I guess nothing can be totally natural now,

      There’s always some want in human kind –

      Hardly ever need – so that wild nature is sacrificed and killed

      Mutilated for useless products,

      Torn limb from bleeding limb,

      The natural world, my tree,

      My natural being stunted and trimmed,

      Pruned in the name of a growing “civilized” society.

      It’s too deeply rooted –

      To transplant her now would mean her death.

     


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