“Sure it is!” She called to me as she yet again completed
another perfect skim across the waves.
I gave up and lay down against the sand, letting the cold
water run over me. Maybe if I pretended to need CPR she would
have pity.
“What are you doing?” Her body cast a shadow over me,
stealing my warmth.
“I’m cold. Hungry. I suck. Take me home,” I whined, though
I would rather lie here all day with her than go home.
“You’re cold because you’re sitting there like a beached
whale. You’re tired because you keep falling, and you’re hungry
because we skipped lunch.”
“I like your deduction skills.”
She put her hands on her hips. “I like that you know how to
use a word like deduction.”
I propped myself up on my elbows. “I did graduate from
high school, you know.”
She patted my hand. Awesome.
“So you want to quit? I mean, you were the one that was
banging down my door early this morning begging me to be your
friend…”
“I didn’t beg. Rock stars never beg.”
“You must be really lonely if you want me for company.”
Alyssa blushed and looked away licking her dry lips.
“I’ve been watching you.”
Shit. That came out wrong.
Her horrified glance told me I needed to make it better and
fast. “I’ve seen you a few times around town and, honestly, ever
since you yelled at me, I kinda realized something about myself.”
“Oh yeah?”
I nodded. “I like being yelled at. I like being held
accountable. I thought, you know, since you have magic taffy
powers, you could probably handle all my shit just as good as
anyone.”
She sighed heavily. “I’m not so sure about that.” Without
hesitation she jumped to her feet and attempted to dust the wet
sand from her body. “Look, maybe this was a bad idea. I mean,
can’t you just pay people to be your friends?”
“Do normal people do that?” I asked, incredulous.
She grinned, nearly blinding me with the way her face lit up.
“No, not normal, but you aren’t really normal.”
“I prefer abnormally awesome.”
“Okay, abnormally awesome person I can’t get rid of…
What’s the verdict? We going to quit and walk away friendless, or
are you going to get your ass in the water and make me proud?”
I hung my head and cursed. “I’m not a quitter, but you need
to at least show me how to do this. I feel like a four-year-old
watching an Olympian.”
“Deal.” She held out her hand to help me up.
The next hour went way better than the first. I was actually
starting to get the hang of it when a huge wave rolled in. I missed it
and jumped off the board. Alyssa was facing me, a huge grin on her
face. The tide had started to come in, so the water was up past her
waist. Either she didn’t see the giant wave heading for her, or she
was going to go for it. At my alarmed look she must have known
something was up; she turned around just in time for the wave to
crash onto her.
I tried running toward her, but the wave crashed on top of
me. I spit out the sea water and swam to where I thought I saw her
fall. My eyes burned as I dove into the water. I saw a flicker of
something dark. I reached out and touched it. The wetsuit.
With a curse, I pulled her to the surface. She wasn’t moving.
I knew we were close to rocks, but not that close.
My muscles burned as I swam for a few feet then carried her
to the shore and put her onto the sand.
“Alyssa?” Frantic, I put my head against her chest listening
for any sort of breathing. No sound.
I unzipped her wetsuit and began CPR, breathing into her
mouth. I was so freaked out I wasn’t even counting the
compressions, just singing the stupid song they taught everyone to
sing when learning First Aid.
“Come on, baby, come on.” I breathed in to her mouth again.
A large red gash was bleeding from the top of her head. I needed to
get help.
Just as I was getting ready to jump up and attack an old man
who just happened by. She coughed up water.
I dropped to my knees next to her and rubbed her back as
blue. I pulled her into my lap and pulled down the rest of her wet
suit and covered her with the towel we’d brought out. I knew she
was probably just in her bra and underwear, but she needed heat. It
was warm outside, but Oregon water was frigid.
My skin sizzled as it made contact with hers. I wrapped my
arms around her tightly and began running my hands fast over her
arms.
“You scared the hell out of me.” My voice wavered.
“Sorry.” She croaked. “I didn’t see the wave.”
“No shit.”
She laughed and looked up at me. “I promise it wasn’t part
of the plan.”
“Plan?” I didn’t like that her teeth were still chattering.
“To drown so you’d give me CPR.”
“Oh, right.” I tucked her head under my chin. “Actually,
you kind of stole my plan.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Maybe I’ll let you save me tomorrow.” My hands
froze on her arms as the reality of what I just said hit me. Was that
what I was doing? Using her to save myself? No. I wasn’t using
her, but I wanted her. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted
another girl.
It had been year since I’d felt even close to this way about
someone. The last time I did feel this way, she betrayed me and
then died.
Talk about a poor track record.
I sighed and continued moving my hands over her arms.
“So you and Nat?” Alyssa whispered, her voice still sounded
hoarse.
“Wow, news does travel fast in this town. To be fair, she was
actually on the news with me for like an entire year.”
“Remember, I don’t watch TV.”
“I thought you said you didn’t have TV.”
“I lied.”
It was torture trying to keep my eyes from looking down at
her chest, as her breathing slowly came back to normal. I clenched
my teeth and looked away.
“What do you want to know?”
“You guys dated?”
“Yup.”
“What happened?”
“Lots happened.” I swallowed. It wasn’t that I wasn’t over
Nat. I just had a hard time talking about my own stupidity to a girl
I was trying to impress, and I knew that if I told her the whole sob
story she’d run away screaming. I mean, I was a complete prick to
my brother and to her. I didn’t want Alyssa thinking that I was the
same guy anymore. Because I wasn’t.
“It’s a long story. I’m happy for her, though, we’re still really
close.”
“That’s it?” She pushed away from me and shivered.
I cursed and pulled her close again. “Tell you what. A secret
for a secret.”
“W-what?”
; “You heard me.” I reached down and tilted her chin up. “If I
tell you something that’s hard for me to discuss, then you need to
tell me something that’s hard for you. That way we’ll be even.”
Alyssa tried to pull her chin away. I wouldn’t let her.
She glared.
I smiled.
We were like fire and ice, and I loved it.
I could tell she was getting uncomfortable, because she
refused to look at me; instead she bit her lip. “I’ll try.”
“Good.” I released her chin, but she didn’t move to the
position she was in before. Instead, she leaned forward.
Alyssa’s lips were parted just slightly. Now that the panic
was over, I remembered what they felt like to touch. Just one kiss.
What girl freaks out over one kiss?
I cupped her face and touched my lips to hers, just barely. I
didn’t want to scare her, and I didn’t want the kiss to be one of
those kisses that happen after a near-death experience.
Her mouth was warm and inviting; it tasted like the ocean. I
had never been one for good self-control. I used my tongue to part
her lips, just a bit. I wanted to taste more.
She stiffened, and then opened her mouth.
I took full advantage.
My arms went around her waist, pulling her tighter against
me. In the back of my mind I remembered that my wetsuit was too
tight for me to be in any state of arousal, but I didn’t care.
Trouble. She was absolute trouble. Clearly she had no idea
how good of a kisser she was. As her tongue tangled with mine, her
cold hands came up to cup my face. I allowed myself to completely
lose control. Never had I ever felt the need to be so vulnerable with
another human being.
It scared the hell out of me.
I pulled back.
Her face was flushed, her lips swollen. I wished in that
moment I could convey to her how beautiful she was to me, how
wanted she was, how treasured she was. I wanted to lay claim to
her, but at the same time just hold her hand. I wanted to sleep with
her, but at the same time, the idea was almost repulsive. She
deserved more than what I knew I was capable of giving.
But it didn’t keep me from wanting to give it to her.
To give her everything.
I sighed. “You’re a good friend.” And insert nail into
relationship coffin here.
I wrapped my arms around her and picked her up, not
allowing her to say any sarcastic remark back. My lips found hers
again as I twirled her around.
After a few minutes I pulled away and placed her on her
feet. “Can you walk?”
“After the kiss or after my near drowning?” She lifted an
eyebrow.
“Oh, I totally forgot you almost died. I was just thinking
about the kiss,” I teased.
Her eyes widened and then a horrified look flashed across
her face. She jumped away from me, jerking up her wetsuit.
Without saying anything she took off toward the boardwalk.
“Lyss, wait up.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“What? Lyss, what happened?” I grabbed her wrist to try to
get her to stop.
“This was a mistake. We can’t be friends, Demetri. It won’t
work.”
“I agree.” I cursed. “I want to be so much more than that.”
What the hell was I doing? I’d known her a total of two
weeks, and that didn’t really count, considering I’d been stalking
her! Drugs. I needed drugs, not a girlfriend!
Alyssa licked her lips and looked away. “I don’t know if I
can handle it.”
“And I can?”
She looked at me. I mean, really looked, as if she could see to
the depths of my soul. “We’re screwed up, you and me.”
“Don’t I know it.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “But
what if that’s what makes us perfect for each other?”
“What if you take the one part of me that’s finally started to
breathe without crying?”
Her honesty shocked me. I didn’t have any words to give
her. I didn’t think one mind-blowing kiss would cause us to get this
serious.
“Slow.” I reached out to her, grazing her arm with my hand.
“Let’s go slow, because I really need a friend right now.”
“So it’s about you?” Her eyes crinkled as if she was trying
not to smile.
“Always is. I am a celebrity you know.”
“Right.” She laughed and kicked some sand with her foot.
“We should get cleaned up.”
“Dinner.” I blurted before I could retract the statement and
punch myself in the face. “Let me cook you dinner.”
“Are you good?”
Confused that she would ask such a silly question I laughed.
“I’m good at everything. Yeah, I can handle dinner.”
Alyssa didn’t look convinced.
“Please?” I was ready to get on my hands and knees. She
was the first person since Cassie who had made me feel things I
thought I didn’t possess anymore.
With a huff she kicked more sand. “Fine, but no kissing.”
“I can’t promise that I won’t kiss you.”
Her eyes narrowed.
“Fine, I promise I won’t kiss you unless you ask me to.”
“Confident.” She arched an eyebrow and laughed.
I didn’t really know what to say to that, so instead I leveled
my gaze in a challenge. “I’ll see you at seven.”
“But I don’t know where you live.”
“The piece of paper you probably threw in the trash — my
address is on that.”
“It’s trash day. It’s already gone.”
I sighed. “Do you really want to play this game? You know
you dug it back out, minutes after you tossed it. So see you at
seven.”
My self-control completely shot, so I left before I mauled her
on the beach and had my way with her.
Chapter Eleven
Alyssa
I knocked on the door and cursed myself for being so
nervous. It was Demetri. Annoying, irritating, gorgeous Demetri. I
had wanted him to kiss me, but after the kiss I felt naked. As if he
had pulled down walls I had worked so hard to put up. The part
that scared me the most was that for a moment I forgot all about
Brady, all about everything.
I lost my pain, and it scared me more than I was willing to
admit. I wanted to keep Brady’s memory alive. It was my job, after
all. I wasn’t able to do it in the physical sense, so in the emotional
sense was all I had.
And then Demetri had said something about death and I
freaked. I completely panicked. A vision flashed through my mind
of Demetri and me driving and him dying. I knew he was reckless,
knew he used to have a drug addiction. Chances were higher with
Demetri than any other boy that he would either break my heart or
die from some sort of stupid choice. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to
stay away from him.
I even dug out some of my nicer clothes. I hadn’t really put
an effort into dressing since Brady left, mainly because most of my
clothes held memories of him. It felt like
I was cheating when I
wore them without him there. Well, except the sweatshirt.
My mom finally made me wash it after six months.
I sighed and looked down. I was wearing torn jeans, an
oversized black band t-shirt, and flip flops. I knew I looked at least
trendy compared to the oversized sweater and Uggs I’d been
sporting.
I lifted my hand to knock, when the door swung open.
“Right on time.” Demetri opened the screen door and pulled
me into a warm hug. He smelled like spaghetti. I smiled, unable to
help the way he was able to so completely disarm me.
“Punctuality. It’s my thing.” I gulped and walked into the
house. His hands came down on my shoulders.
“Wanna know what my thing is?”
I gulped. “Cooking? Drugs? Music? Fish?”
His hands slid down my arms, sending chills all the way
down to my toes. “Wow. I sound really lame. Is that all you could
come up with?” He chuckled.
Why hadn’t his hands moved? Why was I letting him pull
me back against his firm chest?
“Girls with brown hair,” he murmured into my hair. “Short
ones.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
“Anyway.” He released me and walked around, leading me
down the hallway. “Here’s the kitchen. Dinner’s almost ready.
Would have been done sooner, but somebody burnt the noodles.”
“You burnt the noodles, I take it?” I grabbed a bar stool and
sat down.
“No. Mr. Concentration over there.” He nodded toward the
couch where a large man was sitting with a grimace on his face.
Holy crap. I’d only seen the guy from far away. Up close he looked
like a hit man, like the type of guy you pay to off drug dealers.
Wait, maybe he was a drug dealer?
I pushed my hair behind my ear and swallowed nervously.
“Bob!” Demetri yelled his name like a curse. “Didn’t think it
would be important to tell me that he’d never cooked noodles
before.”
“How does one burn noodles?” I directed my attention to
Bob, who stood up and made his way over to the kitchen. His face
betrayed his lack of amusement as his eyebrows drew together.
“Hmph.” He grabbed a soda out of the fridge and gave
Demetri another glare before stopping in front of me. “I’m Bob, Mr.
Daniels’ security guard.”
“Oh.” I laughed. “I thought you were a drug dealer or some
sort of crazy parole officer.”
His mouth cracked into a tiny smile before he turned back