"I think you're wise. We really are quite protected and
secluded here, but you're big news." Lucinda's voice was dry,
and this wrung a smile from Stacy.
"I came up because I wanted to remind you that Roddy
and I will be away for part of the day tomorrow. Roddy has
some property he must check on, and I said I would go with
him."
"We'll be fine. Roddy found a trunk of old toys. Hettie is
cleaning them, and by tomorrow Drew will have more treasures
than he'll know what to do with."
"Good. I've asked cook for a special meal tonight to shake
off your feeling of captivity. We won't be around until late
afternoon tomorrow, so this will be your official welcome-to-London
feast."
Lucinda's voice was so dramatic that Stacy had to laugh.
Drew, not to be left from the festivities, wanted to be in his
aunt's lap. Lucinda cuddled him close and sang a silly rhyme in
his ear. The three of them passed a fun hour before Craig
came to say that lunch was served.
216
Tanner had been in London for two days, and everywht
he went, people gawked in his direction and whispered
was not one who paid the slightest attention to gossip, ev
when it concerned him, but this was affecting his purpose ]
being in town and that was getting on his nerves.
He had come to London on business just the day befoi
and within the hour had learned that his wife was in town;
well. The gossip mill also said she was accompanied by a sms
boy.|
Planning to stay about a week, he was swiftly changing his I
mind. He had nearly decided he would tell Edmond to finish-I
the business and take himself back to the solitude of Winslow I
when the questions began.
Could he really leave London knowing she was here?
Could he have Stacy this close and not see her? What did she
look like now? How could she come back to London with
another man's child? Tanner felt such a mix of emotions that it
staggered him. One minute he was livid with remembered
pain, and the next moment he thought he must talk to her
before he could possibly go on.
It was early afternoon when he made his decision. After
all she was his wife; he would see her if it pleased him to do so.
Her presence in London was disrupting his whole life, and he
had rights. Maybe he would send her out to Winslow until life
could right itself again. His mansion was huge; he never had to
see her if he didn't want to.
Tanner suddenly remembered the boy. Rumor had it that
he looked like a Richardson, but that was ridiculous. No doubt
the boy would prove to be nothing but trouble. But if he knew
Stacy, and he believed he did, she would never consent to
giving the child up.
Tanner ordered his carriage and found himself consumed
with thoughts of Stacy all the way to Brentwood He finally
admitted to himself that he had missed her. He hated himself
for the weakness, but it was true. To fight the feeling, he grew
angry.
217
P By the time he arrived at Brentwood he knew exactly what
jwould do. He would send Stacy to Winslow, but this time he
told be in control. If he wished to see her, he would send for
r, but outside of that she was only his wife. She would do as
: was told and live where he told her to live. Right now he
nted her at Winslow. The boy came to mind one last time,
Tanner pushed him away. He would deal with the brat
;n the time came.
Drew's attitude had been poor at naptime. He had been
nearly delirious with the toys Hettie had produced, and by the
time he needed to eat lunch and nap he was totally spent. He
had been quite cross with his mother when she wouldn't
allow him to sleep with every toy Hettie had cleaned. When he
spoke back to her repeatedly, Stacy had been forced to paddle
him--something she hated to do. Drew had been quite
repentant afterward, and they'd prayed before he'd fallen
asleep.
Now Stacy was in her own room, much in need of rest
herself. She didn't lie down but made herself comfortable in a
chair that sat by the window. She gazed out the window at an
area that was nearly like a forest. It was one of Stacy's favorite
views, so unlike many parts of London with its sewer-lined
She pondered the view for a time, but she was tired Her
eyes were sliding shut when her doorknob turned. She looked
up in surprise. No one had knocked. Thinking it was Drew, she
began to rise, Stacy was standing in front of the chair when
Tanner pushed the door open and walked in. She froze in
place when he pinned her to the spot with his dark, compelling eyes.
Before either of them could speak, Craig appeared and
218
219
hovered anxiously in the background. Stacy glanced to
him in an effort to tell him she would be all right. She v
certain herself, but she knew that Tanner would only
him away, and none too gently.
"My lady?"
"It's all right, Craig." Stacy found her voice and watched;
the elderly servant exited reluctantly. He closed the dc
soundlessly behind him.
Stacy looked back at her husband and forced herself t
breathe.
"Hello, Tanner."
"Stacy." His disinterested voice belied the way his heart
leapt at the sight of her. "What brings you to London?"
"My grandfather died"
This gave Tanner pause. This particular bit of information
had not reached him.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
"Thank you."
"But that still doesn't answer my question."
Stacy, unable to take her eyes from him, finally shrugged
rather helplessly and then stared at the floor.
"Lucinda and Roddy wanted me to come, and I felt it was
best at the time."
Stacy heard footsteps, and her eyes flew up to find him
approaching. If he was trying to intimidate her, it was working.
He stopped just scant inches in front of her and stared
down into her face. Stacy was amazed at what she saw. Tanner
still cared. He tried to show her otherwise, but Stacy had
caught the slightest glimpse of caring.
"What are you thinking, Anastasia? Afraid I'll kiss you?"
Tanner's deep voice questioned softly.
Stacy couldn't answer.
"You are my wife," Tanner told her as if she was the one
who'd forgotten. "I will kiss you whenever I feel like it. Do you
understand?"
Stacy could only nod.
"Tell a maid to pack your things; you're coming to Wins-v"
Tanner's voice had turned curt as he abruptly turned
ay.
"You want me at Winslow?" Stacy found her voice.
"Did I not say as much?" His impatience was evident. "A
irriage will be here for you in two hours." Two hours! Stacy nearly panicked. She said the first words
came to mind
n "I have a son."
|f Tanner, who had been heading toward the door, stopped
f In his tracks. He turned with maddening slowness and stared
at Stacy.
"I'd heard as much," he said in a voice that was stone cold
f "I suppose you may bring the child, if he causes me no
trouble."
Stacy was horrified at his words and tone. She was on the
verge of refusing him as it was, but he went on and Stacy
completely lost control.
"Who knows," Tanner said with a negligent shrug as he
again turned to the door, "maybe I'll grow to like the boy and
get rid of you."
"No." The word was spat out, and Tanner turned in amazement.
No longer was Stacy standing frightened before him.
Her hands were balled so tightly in front of her that they were
white. She was trembling from head to foot, her face flushed
with rage.
"You'll not take my son. He needs me, and I won't let you
take him. I won't go with you. You can't make me. You'll not
take my son from me." Her voice was furious and desperate,
and in just a few strides Tanner covered the distance between B them, his own anger completely gone, replaced by something
he could not define.
"Stacy," he spoke with more calm than he felt, his hands
grasping her upper arms. "I won't take the boy."
"No, you won't!" Stacy was still beside herself.
"I won't separate you from your son."
"I won't let you. I won't let you hurt him."
220
"I won't hurt the boy or take him from you."
Stacy stopped long enough to listen to him and study r
eyes. She went on, still boldly, but her tone was calming.
"Promise me, Tanner. Promise you'll not take him fr
me."
"I promise, Stacy." He gave her a little shake to make sun
she was listening. "He can come with you to Winslow, and I'l
not hurt him."
Stacy took a deep breath and tried to relax and believed
him. Tanner felt her nearly violent trembling under his hands,
and grew angry at himself for wanting to enfold her in nisi
arms. He had thought it would be such a pleasure to hurt her as
she'd hurt him, but it was not turning out that way at all.
With another abrupt movement, he dropped his hands
and turned away. "You and the boy will be ready to leave in
two hours."
Stacy's hand flew to her mouth.
"Tanner." Her voice was now fearful and subdued.
"What?" He turned back with his hand on the door, his
brow lowered menacingly,
"I'm not certain I can leave just now."
"Are you telling me no, Anastasia?" His voice was so low
and angry that Stacy could barely force the words from her
throat.
"No, it's just that I need to tell Roddy and Lucinda goodbye
and explain where I'm going. They're not here right now."
Tanner seemed to consider the idea. "When will they
return?"
"Not for several hours."
Again Tanner paused. "A coach will be here at 8:00 tomorrow
morning. Be ready, Stacy. I don't want to have to tell you
again."
He didn't wait for an answer this time, and since Stacy's
legs gave out as soon the door closed, she was glad the chair
was directly behind her.
"He terrifies me just as he always has," Stacy said out loud
221
rthe Lord "I haven't changed at all. I was going to be so
)ng, Lord, and I was terrified."
Defeat washed over Stacy as she prayed and tried to calm
self. She had asked God to open a door, but she never
imed it would be like this. This door had brought the north
rind As Stacy quieted, God reminded her of His sovereignty,
mer's arrival was no mistake. This was the door God in-;nded,
cold wind and all. Believing that, Stacy would meet
ic challenges beyond that door with hope.
She sat for only a moment longer until she realized how
jmuch work needed to be done. She gathered both Hettie and
$Rayna in order to explain the situation. Hettie was to travel
with her, but not knowing what Tanner would want, Stacy did
not feel at liberty to ask Rayna to accompany them. Both
women were clearly disapproving of the move to Winslow, but
Stacy, needing both of them to pack for her and Drew, ignored
their looks. Her husband wanted her back. She had no illusions
of paradise, but at least Tanner wanted her at Winslow.
Tanner suddenly found himself with nothing to do. For
over an hour he paced the study floor at his town house. He
would not leave London until he was certain that Stacy was on
her way to Winslow. He now wished he'd forced her to leave
on the spot so he could get on with his life. He was a fool for
letting her change his mind.
The smell of her skin and bath oil suddenly assailed his
senses, and Tanner looked down at his hands. She had felt as
wonderful as ever. Her eyes, so huge and blue, had been just as
he remembered--with a mixture of wonder and innocence.
Not wanting to dwell on this, he forced his mind to move on.
Her reaction to a comment he hadn't meant scared him.
He'd never seen her that way. He'd heard that motherhood
could do that to a woman the way nothing else could, but he
had not been prepared for her response.
222
"She must have loved the boy's father," Tanner ht ^
himself say out loud and stood still as rage and agony ripped-through
him. He knew then that he would have to be very
careful. The last thing he wanted was another's man child
beneath his roof, but if that's what he had to put up with to
have Stacy, he would do it. He had seen her, and that was all it had taken to make him admit to the truth, infuriating as it was.
He wanted Stacy. Right now nothing else mattered.
x*^^^4 f
Q/w^oAm
a
the next morning LuciNDA stood still and forced her
hands to her sides. The sight of Drew coming down the stairs
with his train and bear was enough to make her wring her
hands.
She had come home the day before from a marvelous but
tiring day with Roddy, only to be met with Stacy's news.
Lucinda cried herself dry before falling into an exhausted
sleep. She woke early, before 6:00, knowing that Stacy would
be up and readying herself to go. And now, even though it was
just a little before 8:00, she felt utterly drained
Stacy had shared about her faith in God, but Lucinda was
too angry to trust. What kind of God took a person's family
away? She had been planning to visit her brother that very
summer, but God had taken him in the spring. Lucinda would
never have admitted to herself that her own selfish lifestyle
had kept her from visiting Andrew more regularly.
Now Drew and Stacy were leaving, and after just a few days
too, making Lucinda more bitter than ever. They needed her,
she was certain of that. And she needed them.
Roddy stood beside her while all of this ran through
Luanda's mind. He shared Lucinda's grief, but he would not
say anything that would stand in the way of Stacy's happiness.
Lucinda was quite certain that
Tanner would not do right by
224
I
his son, but Roddy believed differently. Just as he'd known that
Tanner would once again be taken with his wife--after all,
he'd ordered her to Winslow just moments after he arrived-- Roddy also believed that one look at his son and Tanner's
heart would be lost.
"Well, we're ready," Stacy said as she finally gained the
foyer. "Thank you for everything, Roddy and Lucinda. I don't
know when we'll be back to London, but I hope you'll come
and see us."
"No one can keep us away," Lucinda stated as she put her
arms around Stacy. Each knew that her no one referred to
Tanner.
"Goodbye, my precious." Lucinda's voice wavered as she
hugged Drew, and she didn't tarry long with her embrace.
Lucinda stood at the door with her sodden handkerchief,
but Roddy scooped Drew up in his arms and walked them
down to the carriage. Hettie climbed aboard with a sour
comment about her old bones, and Stacy turned to her dear
friend
"Will Lucinda be all right?"
"I think so. It might take some time, and we will need to
visit or she'll be miserable."
"Please do, Roddy. I don't want to fight with my husband,
but if Tanner isn't going to let me see my family, I won't stay."
Stacy paused and then looked chagrined. "Of course, I say that
now, but the minute he looks at me I'll shake."
Roddy smiled at her words. "You'll do fine, and we will
come to visit even if we have to charge the castle gate."
"What castle?"
Stacy looked stunned. At times it was so easy to forget that
Drew was present and taking in every word
Roddy kissed the little boy's cheek and handed him over
to his mother. Stacy passed him in to Hettie and then turned
to embrace Roddy. They didn't say another word to each other,
but Stacy waved from the window as soon as she was inside.
She couldn't be certain, but it looked as if Roddy's eyes were
225
T
J wet. Stacy smiled into his eyes as the carriage moved away to
tucinda's cries of goodbye and I love you.
Stacy had completely forgotten how long the ride to Winsow
could be. The carriage stuck in the mud on two occasions,
and each time it took considerable maneuvering to get them
moving again. These interludes were a delight to Drew, who
.was rather bored with the bumpy ride and had nothing to play
with save his train and bear.
Stacy wouldn't have minded the ride so much, except that