capable of murder, do you?"
Tanner's livid, almost unrecognizable face swam before
Stacy's eyes. He'd told Nigel that if he ever saw him again, he
would kill him.
"Stacy?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "He was so angry, and he did
threaten Nigel before we left the Cradwells'."
"Oh, I heard about all that, but that hardly makes him a
murderer. Men say strange things when they're enraged"
Still Stacy did not look comforted. She didn't want to even
consider that Tanner could do such a thing, but that was
exactly the way she was thinking. She said as much to Roddy.
"I understand why you might feel that way, Stacy, but try to
put it from your mind. I really don't think there is any validity
to it. And if you do plan to see Tanner, suspicion is the last
thing you need clouding your judgment."
Stacy's shoulders sagged with relief. Roddy was right. The
whole idea was nonsense. Her hand covered his where it lay
on the table.
"Thank you, Roddy. I need your level-headed logic."
"No thanks necessary, my dear. It just shows what a wonderfully
compassionate person you are that you would be
concerned about the man whose actions caused you such
pain."
"I have prayed for Nigel from time to time, and I'll continue
to do so when he comes to mind"
Roddy stared at her, simply amazed He wouldn't have
believed that Stacy could be any more tranquil or compassionate
than she had been the summer of 1853, but she was. There
was a peace and tenderness about her that was nearly irresistible.
Roddy was very drawn to her, not romantically, but as a
loving father who delighted in her company. He also had the
feeling that if Tanner ever got within "close proximity, he
would be as overpoweringly drawn to her as Roddy was himself.
"Have you thought about contacting Tanner yet?" With
thoughts of Stacy's husband, Roddy asked the first question
that came to mind
"I've thought about it but not decided on anything definite.
Do you have any ideas?"
206
"Would you rather be in London or go to Winslow?"
needed to know.
Stacy thought. "I don't want to see Winslow again unless i
can stay. I loved our home, and going out there only to be senfa
away might be more than I could take. I guess I'll bide my time!
and hope he comes to London."a
"I think that's wise. I don't believe I would try to surprise1 him; men don't like that. If he comes to town, I would send a j
note asking if you could call or if he would like to meet you somewhere. Who knows, he may even be willing to come
here."
"Do you think so, Roddy?"
Roddy patted her hand and shocked Stacy speechless with
the next words out of his mouth. "Even if he doesn't, my dear,
you just keep praying. God will take care of you."
"God made flowers," Drew told Lucinda as they sat on a
bench in the garden and ate the cookies that someone had
delivered to them from the kitchen. "He made the whole
world, even the animals and birds."
"Did He now?" Lucinda murmured absently, not really
hearing Drew's words, just feeling delight that he was becoming
more comfortable with her. He was such a gift, a balm of
sorts, applied directly to the ache inside of her over her
brother's death.
"May I have another cookie?"
"How many have you had?" Lucinda was making agenuine
effort not to spoil him.
"I think 200," he told her with a great smile.
Lucinda laughed and hugged Drew. This was the scene
Roddy came upon.
"Well, it looks like you two are having fun."
"Indeed, we are," Lucinda told him, her arm still around
Drew.
207
"Where is Mumma?" Drew was looking beyond his Uncle
idy, his brow lowered in concern.
"Your mother is inside. Did you want to go and find her?"
Drew nodded with relief and jumped down from the seat.
He ran along the path to the house. Roddy and Lucinda followed
more slowly.
"Oh, Roddy," Lucinda spoke when he was out of earshot.
"That he is, just like his mother."
"What is Stacy doing?"
"I'm not certain. We were discussing Tanner. She might be
writing to him."
"If he comes," Lucinda said after a rather pregnant pause,
"he'll take them away, and we won't have Drew."
"We can always go see them."
"What if Tanner doesn't allow that?" Lucinda felt panicked
over the thought.
"Tanner has never had any argument with us, and too,
Stacy is different. She's stronger now. I don't know how she'll
be with Tanner, but I just can't believe that she wouldn't allow us to see her or Drew."
"I hope you're right, Roddy." Now Lucinda's voice was
wistful. "I truly hope you're right."
209
(wmfoQleven/
"Hew does a trip to the Royal Gardens sound?" Stacy posed
the question just two days later and stunned nearly everyone
at the breakfast table. Not knowing what she was talking
about, Drew went on eating his toast. Lucinda was clearly
uncertain, and Roddy put his newspaper down to look at her.
"We wouldn't need to make a great show of it," she explained.
"But I would like to get out, and I know Drew would
enjoy the paths and flowers. If you'd rather not join us, I'll
understand. Hettie will be with us. I'd like to go right there and
come back. We wouldn't stay overly long, but mourning or not,
I need to get out."
A silence that lasted an entire minute fell over the table.
"I think it's a good idea," Lucinda finally said, her voice
serene. "I'm going to stay in for now, but I do think you should
go. Roddy, will you be joining them?"
"Unless you'd like me to stay."
Lucinda smiled at him, and Stacy saw a glimmer of the aunt
she remembered. Since she'd arrived in Middlesbrough, she
had not been the same.
"Thank you for offering, but I shall be quite fine alone.
Now, Drew," she added, "you're going to be visiting the Royal
Gardens, one of my favorite places. You must come back and
tell Aunty Lucinda everything."
Drew nodded "Mumma, what is Roll Gardens?"
209
"Royal Gardens," Stacy corrected him with a smile. "They
much like Aunty Lucinda's gardens, only larger and with
more flowers."
And so they were off. Roddy wisely ordered a closed
carriage for the ride, and Hettie joined them inside. Drew was
allowed to look out the window, and his questions were
nonstop from beginning to end of the journey.
* The gardens were all that Stacy hoped they would be--a
L riot of springtime color that was so glorious to see and smell
that she wished they could stay all day. Drew had inherited his
mother's love of the outdoors, and just as she knew he would
he ran and skipped until his face was flushed with exertion
and pleasure. At one point he spotted a fountain and n
early
turned inside out with excitement.
"Oh, Mumma! We can fish! We can fish!"
"No, my darling, we can't. This is a fountain, not a pond."
Drew looked crestfallen for just a moment, but then he
spotted a bird and once again they were off. Hettie trailed
after him, this time with Roddy and Stacy coming in their
wake. The paths had not been crowded in the section they
traveled, but whenever they did pass someone, Stacy averted
her face. Roddy was sensitive to this and did what he could to
aid her privacy.
Stacy was not ashamed, just desiring as little publicity as
possible. The desire for solitude and the beauty of the day
reminded her of Morgan, naturally turning Stacy's thoughts to
her grandfather. She couldn't help but think how much he
would have enjoyed this stroll with them.
Then Stacy remembered her last hours with her grandfather
as well as the last time she was here. The last time she'd
been to the Royal Gardens she had not yet understood her
need for a Savior, but God had reached down and rescued her,
just as He had her grandfather. She continued her walk with a
heart filled with joy and prayers that her life would be a
testimony of God's saving grace.
210
1
Roddy, Stacy, Drew, and Hettie had only been home froig
the gardens for two hours when Craig came to Stacy's _
room door. As usual, his manner was formal, but Stacy ki
he genuinely cared for her.
"You have a visitor, Lady Stacy."
Stacy had written a letter to Tanner but had not sent it. Still
she wondered if it might be him. Her heart pounded in her
chest before Luanda's head servant continued.
"The Duke and Duchess of Briscoe are waiting for you in
the large salon."
Sunny and Brandon.
"Thank you, Craig." Stacy beamed at him and nearly ran
down the stairs when he held the door for her. She didn't stop
to school her features or fix her hair, but burst into the room
like a small child at Christmas.
Sunny rose as soon as she saw her, and the women met in
the middle of the room in a huge hug. They separated long
enough to laugh and stumble over each other's words before
hugging again. When Sunny released Stacy at last, Brandon
was there to take her place. Tears stung at the back of Stacy's
eyes at the feel of his solid arms. He was so like Tanner in
height and build.
"How are you?" Sunny asked when she'd finally claimed
Stacy's hand and pulled her over to sit beside her on the
settee. "I'm all right," Stacy smiled at both of them, "Did Elena
tell you in the letter?"
"About your grandfather? Yes!"
The women hugged again.
"Tell us about it," Brandon urged, and Stacy did There
were tears swimming in Sunny's eyes when she was done.
"I miss him so much," Stacy admitted. "But knowing
where he is gives me such a peace. I keep seeking out verses
that talk about heaven, so I can try to imagine how wonderful
it must be."
"Study verses about God too, Stacy." Brandon spoke now.
"Heaven is God's home, and when we know Him, I think
heaven and our time with Him becomes clearer. There is even
211
(verse in Revelation, chapter 21, that says there is no sun or
jn in the new Jerusalem, which is heaven, for God's glory
luminates that holy city."
"Thank you, Brandon." Stacy's voice was awed and humble,
icre is so much I don't know. Thank you for telling me that."
He smiled at her, and Stacy's heart turned over. Oh Father, [She prayed silently. Please save my Tanner. Please give its a
marriage like this one--one that's built in You,
"Have you seen Tanner?" Sunny's question cut through
Stacy's thoughts.
"No. I don't think he's in London right now. I've written
him a letter asking him to see me, but I haven't posted it. I'm
afraid I don't have high hopes. He hasn't wanted me in over
three years, and I doubt if that has changed."
Sunny reached for and squeezed Stacy's hand. "We're still
praying."
"Thank you. Brandon, do you ever see him?"
"From time to time."
Stacy couldn't disguise the love in her face or her voice.
"How is he?"
"I think he's fair," Brandon answered honestly. "He was
quite thin for a time after you left, but he's filled out again. He
doesn't smile much, but he always wants to talk. I think he gets
lonely."
Stacy drew in a shuddering breath as pain squeezed
around her heart. She was silent for a moment, praying again
about what she should do. She decided suddenly not to do
anything. God might have something special planned, and if
she went rushing ahead on her own she could ruin everything.
With this decision came such a peace that Stacy knew she was
doing the right thing.
"Are you all right?" This came from Brandon, who along
with his wife had been carefully watching Stacy's face.
"As a matter of fact, I am." She told them simply that she
was not going to mail her letter but would keep praying.
"Well, there's one thing you won't need to pray about any
212
213
longer," Sunny said "You are going to join my Bible study wii
Andrea."
"Oh, Sunny," Stacy breathed. "Are you certain? I m
won't Lady Andrea mind?"
"It was her idea. That way when I can't be there, the two i
you can meet."
Stacy's eyes closed in relief. She had felt rather adrift with
her separation from Elena and Noel.
"I don't know what to say."
"Say yes," Brandon told her, making it sound so simple.
"Yes," Stacy said and was still beaming at both of them
when the door opened
"Mumma?" a small voice called, sounding on the edge of
tears. Stacy turned in surprise.
"Come here, Drew," she called to him. He'd been down for
over an hour, and Stacy had planned to be there when he
awoke. She wondered what woke him early. Brentwood was
larger than Morgan, and he was still a little confused by all the
doors and hallways. In fact, Stacy was surprised that he'd
found her at all. Hettie must have fallen asleep, or he'd have
never gotten downstairs.
Both Sunny and Brandon watched the small boy approach,
his hair on end, his face flushed from sleep. Stacy pulled him
into her lap. After he laid his head against her chest, he closed
his eyes again. Stacy glanced over to find her guests' eyes
glued to his small face.
"I know what you're thinking," Stacy spoke softly, referring
to Drew's resemblance to Tanner. "Since you're going to
be praying, the first thing you might ask of God is that He
would move in Tanner's heart so that he'll see this child"
The Hawkesburys nodded, but no one said anything for a
time.
"Would you like me to pray right now?" Brandon suddenly
asked, his voice hushed.
Stacy glanced down to see that Dr
ew was sound asleep
before motioning with her head.
Tliey didn't join hands, but Brandon's soft, deep voice
ounded them as he committed Tanner, Stacy, and Drew to
^ He asked for wisdom on Stacy's part as well as their own,
Ed then believing it to be God's will, he prayed for Tanner
ichardson's salvation.
215
Gf* ^
G/wm
not until the following day did Stacy learn that her trip
to the gardens had been a mistake. Brentwood sat on a quiet
street and until she went out, her presence in the city had
been undetected. Well, such privacy was over; she and Drew had been spotted and were now public news.
Roddy had been to his club that morning so he was able to
report that the Duchess of Cambridge was on everyone's lips.
She had even made the papers. Stacy found herself staying
close to Drew all that day as if he somehow needed protection.
Drew wanted to go out into the yard, but although the
garden was surrounded with a high stone wall, she kept him
inside.
Stacy wasn't sure if she was overreacting or not, but she
didn't know what else to do. The temptation to mail her letter
to Tanner was nearly overpowering. She wanted to know
where she stood. If she mailed the letter and Tanner still
wanted nothing to do with her, she could return to Middlesbrough.
If there had been any dread in returning to London, it had
been for this reason. Knowing that Noel and Elena's house
was available to her and that her grandfather had left her a
small legacy made her want to walk away from all the gossip
and scandal, but she knew such an action would be hard on
Lucinda and Roddy.
215
When Stacy took a moment to consider the idea she real-, she'd been giving in to impulse and emotion. Maybe the ^ssip would die down and she could live a normal life. She
ied not to let it bother her, but even the servants who weren't
i familiar with her began to watch her with speculative eyes.
"How are you, my dear?" Lucinda had found Stacy in
,_ rew's room. She wasn't hiding exactly, but neither did she
Ifcel like wandering the house.
"A little shy of the windows and yard, but doing well."
Lucinda sighed. "The gossip mongers of the town can be
.such a trial. I'm glad he's too young to take much notice,"
Lucinda said, nodding her head in Drew's direction. He was
sitting on the floor with his train and a small stuffed bear.
"The only problem is his complaint that I won't let him out
in the yard"