that he fully understands the power of temptation and passion."
She could see the struggle between temptation and reason
in the hard line of his jaw; he wanted to believe her, wanted
to reach for her. "Will you be a lesser princess because
you're half English?"
She couldn't lie to him. "In the eyes of some. But not
Kedar's. You'd like him, Aiden. He's a good and kind and fair
man."
He sighed and swallowed. And then, blessedly, his eyes lit
with sparks of anger. "In England princesses are married
off-as the expression goes-advantageously. Is that what's
going to happen to you, Alex? Are you to be married off to
the highest bidder?"
"The choice of husbands will be mine. And-"
"Will he mind too terribly much," he interrupted bitterly,
''that I danced with you before he did?"
"I'll never choose one, Aiden," she finished calmly, hoping
to soothe him. "No one will force me to wed."
"So you'll go through life alone."
His tone made it an accusation. Her own anger flared. "As
I recall, it's what you intend to do. Why is it a situation appropriate
for you, but not for me?"
He rammed his hands into the pockets of his coat and
stared off over her head, the muscles in his jaw pulsing furiously.
"You could stay here, Alex. Keep the Blue Elephant.
I'll run the shipping route for you and bring you all that you
need."
And she would be alone, waiting for him to come into
port, living for those few days a year, praying all the others
that nothing horrible had happened to him, and always waiting
for the day when he'd tell her that he wouldn't be coming
back, that he'd fallen in love with another woman. No,
that wasn't the life she wanted with him. If she couldn't be
his wife and the mother of his children, then it was better
that they break it cleanly. Better that they part with sweet
memories than to linger for years, trying to sustain hopes
that would eventually wither away.
She knew that she could ask him to come back to India
with her, but she also knew that even if he accepted, there
would come a day when he wished he- hadn't. He bad too
much pride to be a kept man, too much energy to wander the
balls of the royal court, day in and day out, without purpose.
No, he bad peace to make with his father and a shipping
company to someday lead. His path lay to the west, hers to
the east. In loving him, she had to let him go.
''As a. princess, I have responsibilities:' she began, her
heart tearing, her soul aching, her mind certain that she was
choosing the only path she could. "In addition to those of
being the royal tutor. I can't stay, Aiden. The decision 's been
made for me. In a way, it's a relief."
He leaned back against the wall and pulled his hands
from his pockets to scrub them over his face. "God," he
groaned, letting them fall into his lap as he stared off over
her head again. "I knew you'd say that. Duty before all else.
It's so damn British."
"Please don't be sad, Aiden. Or angry." She reached up
and took his hands in hers, loving him so much, unwilling to
let him go a single moment before she absolutely had to.
"We've known from the beginning that there was no forever
for us. Only the length of time we have together has changed.
It's now just shorter than we'd hoped."
Forcing a buoyancy into her voice she didn't feel, she
smiled up at him and added brightly, "Which, to my mind,
anyway, suggests that we should probably make every second
of it count."
He didn't move, didn't make a sound. As though he
hadn't heard a word she'd said. He continued to stare at the
other side of the room, blinking, looking for all the world
like a caged animal. Part of her wanted to gather him into
her arms and rock him gently, to assure him that all wasn't
as hopeless as he thought. Another part of her wanted to take
him by the lapels of his coat and shake him until his teeth
rattled. She decided on a middling course.
Releasing his bands, she rose to her feet, and then
reached down for his foot, one hand on the heel of his boot,
the other around his instep.
''What are you doing?"
At least she finally had his attention. "Making a choice:'
she answered, pulling. The boot didn't budge and she adjusted
her stance for better leverage.
"Alex, you're a princess," be said as she tugged-without
effect-again. "I know that it shouldn't make any difference,
but it does. It makes a big difference."
She gritted her teeth and, trying a third time, replied,
“I'm the very same woman I was at midnight. Aiden."
''Alex, darling, stop." And then he took the choice from
her by gently but firmly pulling his foot from her grasp.
Turning, she found him still slouched back against the
wall. But the caged look was gone. One comer of his mouth
was quirked up in a smile that seemed slightly more amused
then it did sad. It gave her just enough hope to press him for
more. Kneeling down between his thighs, she cradled his
face in her hands and met his gaze squarely, lovingly. His
hands came up off his thighs and then he started, sucked a
hard breath and forced them back down. The smile disappeared,
replaced by a thin line of resolve.
Alex ignored it all and quietly asked, "Is denying ourselves
pleasure going to make me a virgin again?"
"I wish it could."
So softly, so earnestly, from so deep in his heart. "You regret
far too easily, Aiden," she countered, loving him for the
tender soul that he was, wanting with all of hers a forever
they couldn't have. ''The past is over and gone. It can't be
changed," she went on, pouring all the hope that she could
have into her words. "What will come in the future can't be
known. All that exists is now, Aiden. This one moment in
time. Live in it with me. Please. Make love with me."
His confusion tore at her heart, but she waited in silence,
watching temptation and wonder struggle against his sense
of right and wrong, praying that desire would win the battle.
Then suddenly the haunted, desperate look flickered through
the depths of his eyes. His breathing ragged, his pulse hammering
against the palms of her hands, he forced himself to
swallow. "If I asked you to…"
She pressed her fingers to his lips, silencing him. ''This
moment, Aiden," she whispered. "Don't look forward. Don't
look back. Look at me."
He couldn't fight any more, couldn't breathe, couldn't do
anything except feel a relentless, utterly overwhelming-sense
of desperation. It wasn't right Or noble. Or honorable. It was
need; raw, primal, and undeniable. A need to escape the pain,
a need to lose himself in the sated, mindless oblivion that
only she could give him. He needed her. And God help him,
he wanted her more than life itself. For just this moment ...
The
floodgates opened and he surrendered to the unrelenting
torrent. He reached for her, wrapping her in his arms
and hauling her hard against him, crushing her lips under his
own. She met his advance with a cry of joy and a ferocity
every bit the equal of his own. With a grateful moan, he spiraled
away into the searing salvation of passion.
Alex awoke with a smile and Aiden curled around her. There
was, she knew, no happier, more deeply and thoroughly satisfied
woman on earth. It was a miracle that she had any
mind left at all. And if she could ever possibly want again ...
She'd be extremely grateful, she admitted, grinning. And
she most certainly wouldn't squander the opportunity. God,
what she wouldn't give to spend the rest of the day right
where she was. She glanced toward the window and, with a
resigned sigh, accepted that she couldn't keep life from intruding
on bliss.
Easing her leg out from under Aiden's went smoothly.
But she'd barely started to slip out from under his arm when
he tightened it and drew her closer, nuzzling into her neck
and murmuring, "Don't go."
"It's daybreak," she murmured back, kissing his forehead
before resolutely slipping out of his embrace. "Mohan will
be rising soon. Sleep a while longer. I'll wake you later."
He rolled onto his back, and then to his other side to
watch her walk around the end of the pallet, stoop to pick up
the letter, and then make her way toward where they'd left
her wrapper and one of his sheets the night before.
His head propped in his hand, he watched her pick up her
silk cover. "I know that there'll be a reckoning for it later,"
he said softly, "but I want all the moments together we can
have."
Relief weakened her knees. She'd won. She wasn't going
to have to give him up too soon. "So do I," she confessed,
drawing on her wrapper as she tucked away the parchment
and moved back to the bed. Kneeling down beside him, Alex
ran her fingers through his tousled hair and added, "But
there isn't much chance of stealing any moments around
here. Not during the day."
He cocked a brow and gave her a quirked, rakish smile.
"We could go to Haven House."
"Oh, now there's an attractive possibility. Under what
pretext?"
"A riding lesson?" he suggested, trailing a fingertip down
her throat.
''That would work rather nicely, wouldn't it?" she offered,
keenly aware that he was veering off course and drawing
her wrapper down off her shoulder to bare her breast.
'"My mother warned me that men and horses were a combination
to be avoided at all costs, you know."
"Why?"
''I don't know," she replied. her breath catching as he
trailed his finger back along her shoulder and then down. ''But
she was very emphatic about it"
The comers of his mouth twitched and his eyes sparkled.
''Is that why you've used every excuse to get out of it?"
"Yes," she admitted. as he drew a slow, tantalizing circle
around her hardened peak. God. if she didn't stop him, she
wasn't going to be able to leave.
"Why the sudden change of mind?"
And Mohan would have his young sensibilities shredded.
"Because," she answered, leaning forward to kiss him
quickly before scrambling to her feet and beyond temptation's
reach. '''There's something at the end of the ride that I
want." She covered herself and tied the sash, grinning at
him. "And I want it madly enough that I'm willing to take
incredible chances to get it!”
"What time do you want to go?"
"After Sawyer gets here."
''I'll meet you in the yard, with horses saddled," he offered,
his smile wicked and ever so deliciously promising.
"If you have boots and a split skirt, wear them."
A split skirt? She didn't have one, but she could modify
one of her other ones easily and quickly enough. But why
it was necessary and why he seemed so delighted by the
prospect ... "You know why my mother warned me against
riding, don't you?"
He laughed, mischief dancing in his eyes. "Nine-oh-five,
darling. A split skirt."
"I'll be there," she promised as he abruptly sat and
reached for his trousers. ''Aiden, please don't get up," she
cajoled, knowing that he couldn't have had more than three
hours of sleep in the course of the entire night. "You need to
sleep a bit longer."
"No I don't," he countered, trying to both undo the tangle
apothecary shop. I'm out of sheaths and I'm fairly sure that
you won't want to stop with me for them on the way to
Haven House."
No, she didn't. "They aren't necessary," she pointed out.
"The count of my days isn't right for conceiving."
His hands stopped, his brow shot up, and his smile turned
unholy. Barely moving his head, he looked at her askance.
"Really?"
"Really."
He tossed his trousers aside and drawled, "Oh, darling,
today is your day for delightful discoveries."
"Nine-oh-five," she reminded him, moving to the door,
her pulse lusciously fast and warm. "Please don't be late."
He was laughing when she pulled it closed behind her.
She lingered for just a moment, closing her eyes and committing
to her memory the wondrous sound of it. Only when
the dreary shadows of what was to come drifted up to the
edge of her awareness did she turn and walk away.
Preeya glanced up from her pan as Alex came to stand beside
her at the stove. "Much has happened in your night," she
observed, smiling and going back to her stirring.
Since Preeya somehow knew that already ... "I'll tend
the eggs," Alex said, removing the letter from her pocket,
"while you read this."
Preeya traded the slotted spoon for the folded parchment.
She opened the folds, read, then pursed her lips and reached
out to pull the pan off the fire. "Breakfast will be late," she announced.
Holding the letter between them, she asked, "How
was this delivered into your hands?"
"One of Prince Sarad's bodyguards is here in London. He
gave it to Aiden. Aiden gave it to me. You don't seem to be
overly surprised by the news, Preeya."
"We will come to that in time. First, I would ask why you
have brought it to me."
Alex gave her the obvious reason first. "So that you can
help me decide how I should tell Mohan. He has to know at
some point, Preeya. And fairly soon."
"Is that the only reason?"
Alex carefully put the spoon in the pan. "When I look
past today, I want to cry."
Preeya took her hands and led her to the stool at the worktable,
saying, "Your world has been changed, dear Alex. So
quickly, so greatly. And in so many ways. All in the passage
of one night It is understandable that your feelings are in turmoil."
She laid the letter aside and poured them cups of tea
and allowed Alex several sips before she asked, "Your
Aiden ... He was good to you? He loved you tenderly?"
Alex smiled around the china rim. ''Tenderly'' wasn't the
word she would have chosen. "Well" and "perfectly" came
much closer to being accurate. But that wasn't what Preeya
really wanted to know. 'That I had forever to be in his arms."
"If it is destined, it will be. You know that."
She nodded, also knowing that what no one ever said was
that if it wasn't destined, it wouldn't be. ''Aiden's doing better
this morning, but ... " She sighed and shook her head, remembering.
"He didn't take the news at all well last night.
He's very good at regretting."
“That is because he is a good man with a caring heart,"
Preeya observed. She took a sip of her own tea before
adding, "He wishes no one to ever suffer. He would cradle
the world if he could. That he has come into your life is a
great blessing."
"I know you're right. But at the moment, Preeya, I don't
feel especially blessed."
"Why? Have you quarreled this morning?"
"No," Alex assured her. "Not at all." Holding her cup in
both hands, she took a long, slow taste of tea, trying to find