HALLEY
Stop!
JAMIE
I’m not stopping. You saw me miss it.
HALLEY
We’re there. Stop!
SFX: Breaks stopping. Humming dies down.
JAMIE looks around as the many colors of Saturn’s rings dazzle HER eyes.
JAMIE
Woah.
HALLEY
Yeah. It’s really bright here. I like to play here all the time. Wanna skate?
JAMIE
I…
HALLEY
Come on, it’ll be fun.
JAMIE
Sure. But…
HALLEY
What?
JAMIE
I don’t know how.
HALLEY
It’s easy.
HALLEY opens the chest and gets out two invisible pairs of skates.
HALLEY
I don’t have small ones for Doctor Carrot.
JAMIE
He’s cool. Doctor Carrot, you keep the boat safe. Got it? Good.
JAMIE gets down off the bed. HALLEY puts on HER skates and then hands over JAMIE’s.
HALLEY
Put them on. Trust me.
JAMIE
Okay.
JAMIE puts on the skates. SHE wobbles at first, and HALLEY holds HER.
JAMIE
I almost fell.
HALLEY
I’ll catch you.
JAMIE
Everytime?
HALLEY
Yeah. I’m your friend. That’s what friends do.
THEY get into position and start to skate. JAMIE’s knees wobble.
JAMIE
I can’t do it.
HALLEY
Yes, you can.
JAMIE
No, I can’t.
HALLEY
Yes, you can too.
JAMIE
Can’t!
HALLEY
Can!
JAMIE still has trouble and wobbles, but after awhile, SHE gets the trick.
JAMIE
I’m skating! I’m skating!
HALLEY
You’re skating! You’re skating!
NEREUS (OS)
Stop skating! Stop skating! You thieves!
NEREUS enters by skating in, as well as HIS dead leg allows.
HALLEY
Oh, no!
JAMIE
He’s coming!
HALLEY
Skate faster!
JAMIE and HALLEY skate faster, but NEREUS tries HIS best to catch up…and does. HE grabs a hold of JAMIE.
JAMIE
He’s got me!
HALLEY grabs a hold of NEREUS and JAMIE, trying to get THEM apart.
NEREUS
I do have you, you menacing malefactor. Ha, ha, ha!
JAMIE
Doctor Carrot!
SFX: Engine humming very loudly and suddenly.
NEREUS looks back at the bed with the bunny on it.
NEREUS
Oh, no! That hare is driving your ship. He’ll roll over my poor body for sure!
NEREUS skates faster and faster, but it just isn’t fast enough. The bed gets closer and closer and closer until…
NEREUS
Abandon ship!
NEREUS jumps and rolls offstage.
NEREUS
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! My back.
HALLEY
Jump on the boat!
JAMIE
Jump? I’m skating!
HALLEY
Do it anyway! One…two…three!
HALLEY and JAMIE jump on the bed.
JAMIE
Move over, Doctor Carrot! I’m the captain.
HALLEY
That was close. We need to hide better.
JAMIE
Where?
HALLEY
Do you like snow?
JAMIE
Uh, yeah! Who doesn’t?
HALLEY
We’re off to Pluto! [Beat] Let’s go!
JAMIE
Oh, right.
JAMIE grabs a hold of the invisible wheel and stomps HER foot down on the invisible foot pedal. The two GIRLS shake around with the ship’s movement.
JAMIE, HALLEY
Wheeeeee!
JAMIE pushes harder on the invisible pedal, and the GIRLS feel the g-force. Up, down, side-to-side, around and around.
JAMIE
We’re going too fast!
HALLEY
Go faster. Faster, faster, faster!
JAMIE pushes the pedal down harder and they go even faster than ever. They go faster, faster, faster aaaaaaaaaaaaaand then they’re there.
HALLEY
Stop!
JAMIE pushes the invisible break pad, and the GIRLS stop.
JAMIE
It’s cold here.
HALLEY
It has to be. The snow never melts.
JAMIE
Never?
HALLEY jumps off.
HALLEY
Nope.
JAMIE
[to bunny] You’re gonna keep me warm, Doctor Carrot, okay? Okay.
JAMIE gets off the bed with HER bunny. HALLEY makes an invisible snow ball from the ground.
JAMIE
Snowmen never go away? Snow angels stay forever?
HALLEY
Yep. Heads up!
HALLEY throws the snowball at JAMIE. It hits JAMIE in the face.
JAMIE
Eww! I’m all wet.
HALLEY
One point for me. I’m winning.
JAMIE
[to bunny] Come on. We’re gonna win. Not her.
JAMIE and HALLEY throw snowballs back and forth. Some hit, most miss, but both GIRLS have fun.
JAMIE
I got you.
HALLEY
No, you didn’t. I got you.
JAMIE
Nu-uh. Take that.
HALLEY
Missed.
JAMIE
Then what’s that snow on your head, stupid.
HALLEY
You’re the stupid one.
THEY run at EACHOTHER and fall on the ground laughing. JAMIE moves to make a snow angle.
JAMIE
Come on. Mine’ll be better, I bet.
HALLEY
I’m a superstar snowangel-maker. You’re toast.
THEY make the snow angels and then stand up.
JAMIE
I think yours is better.
HALLEY
I think yours is.
JAMIE
Doctor Carrot likes them both.
KHIONE (OS)
And I like them both, too.
JAMIE hides behind HALLEY, who is smiling. KHIONE enters, almost dancing the waltz as SHE enters. KHIONE is eternally young and with a child’s heart. SHE loves all, except those who bully unfairly, and to those SHE punishes lightly and justly.
KHIONE
Hello, Halley.
KHIONE
Hi, Miss Khione. [to JAMIE] She’s Miss Khione. She’s my friend.
KHIONE holds out HER hand for a light shake.
KHIONE
Hello, little one.
JAMIE stays.
HALLEY
It’s okay. I know her.
JAMIE shakes KHIONE’s hand.
JAMIE
Hello, Miss Khione.
KHIONE points to the bunny.
KHIONE
And who is this?
JAMIE
This is Doctor Carrot. He’s a very smart bunny.
KHIONE shakes the bunny’s hand.
KHIONE
Hello, Doctor Carrot.
JAMIE
He says hello.
KHIONE
And why have you three come to my home, today?
HALLEY
We want to play in the snow.
KHIONE
Well, you can play in my snow as much as you want. But Halley, you know you have to put her back home in
the morning don’t you?
HALLEY
No. Please? I want to keep her. I don’t want to give her back.
JAMIE
What? I don’t want to go back home. Ever. They make me clean my room and put my toys away and brush my teeth every night. It’s horrible.
KHIONE
I’m sure. Jamie, we can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. When you want to go home, then you will. Okay? [Half-beat.] Okay?
JAMIE
Okay. But I want to play now.
HALLEY
Let’s make a snowman!
KHIONE
Let’s do that. Everyone make a part. I’ll make the bottom.
HALLEY
I’ll make the middle.
JAMIE
Doctor Carrot and me will make the head.
HALLEY
Last one finished is a rotten pulsar!
THEY all quickly roll invisible balls of snow. KHIONE puts HER part down.
HALLEY
Finished. Oh, you finished before me.
KHIONE
But you made such a beautiful middle piece. Put it on top.
HALLEY puts the middle part on.
KHIONE
Jamie?
JAMIE
In a minute.
KHIONE
Take all the time you need.
JAMIE
Gotta get everything perfect and cool-looking…got it.
JAMIE needs KHIONE’s help putting the head on top.
KHIONE
There we go. It’s the perfect snowman.
Perfect.
JAMIE
Perfect, perfect.
NEREUS (OS)
I smell you, you thieves!
HALLEY
Oh, no! He followed us.
KHIONE
Halley, what did you do?
JAMIE
We stole a cheese wheel.
HALLEY
Jamie!
KHIONE
That’s not nice. But, Captain Nereus is supposed to share his cheese. So I guess it’s not your fault.
NEREUS (OS)
No more running, you cowards! Face your punishments!
JAMIE
What’ll we do?
KHIONE
Stand beside me. I’ll take care of this.
JAMIE and HALLEY stand beside KHIONE, and THEY all stand in front of the snowman THEY just made. NEREUS enters, pointing HIS cane at THEM.
NEREUS
There they be! Malefactors! Criminals! Thieves!
KHIONE
Captain Nereus, I think—
NEREUS
Larceners! Plunderers! Pil—
KHIONE
Captain Nereus! You interrupted me.
NEREUS
I’m sorry.
HALLEY
You should be.
KHIONE
Halley, let me take care of this. Captain Nereus, I think you should apologize to these two girls.
NEREUS
Preposterous. You know what they did? Do you? They took what was mine. They’re thieves.
KHIONE
The moon isn’t yours. It’s everyone’s. You’re supposed to share.
JAMIE
Yeah, sharing is good.
NEREUS
I don’t want to share. I shall keep it all to myself. And I shall take that wheel of cheese you two stole from me. And you can’t stop me.
NEREUS growls and scares the OTHERS.
KHIONE
We can’t, but I know who can.
NEREUS
Who? Who can stop me?
KHIONE
The monster snowman of Pluto.
NEREUS laughs.
NEREUS
There’s no monster snowman of Pluto. You’re all liars.
KHIONE
If I’m a liar, then who is this?
KHIONE, HALLEY, and JAMIE move out of the way to reveal the snowman. NEREUS is frightened and falls to HIS knees.
NEREUS
The monster snowman of Pluto! He does exist!
KHIONE
Yes, and if you don’t apologize to these girls, who knows what he’ll do?
JAMIE
He’ll kick your butt!
HALLEY
Yeah!
KHIONE
Girls, language.
HALLEY, JAMIE
Sorry, Miss Khione.
NEREUS
Please. Please don’t kick my butt, Mr. Monster Showman of Pluto! I beg you.
NEREUS cries and bows down at the snowman’s feet.
KHIONE
I think he’ll leave you alone for now, Captain Nereus.
NEREUS
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank the stars.
HALLEY
You’re welcome.
JAMIE
Now get otta here!
NEREUS
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I shall leave you four to your dalliances. Farewell, my friends. Farewell.
NEREUS exits.
JAMIE
That was so raven!
HALLEY
Did you see him on the ground?
JAMIE
“Please don’t kick my butt”. Funny.
HALLEY
Best moment ever.
JAMIE
The best.
KHIONE
I’m glad you had fun, Jamie. But you need to go home now.
JAMIE
I don’t want to.
HALLEY
She doesn’t want to.
KHIONE
It’s not a matter of what you want. It’s what is right. Halley, you know better than this.
HALLEY
Oh…phooey.
KHIONE
I can’t make you go home, Jamie. You need to do the right thing all by yourself.
HALLEY
She can stay with me in space and play forever. I know all the fun places to go.
JAMIE
I want to go with Halley to fun places.
KHIONE
Okay. Halley, can you please tell her who your parents are?
HALLEY
No one. I’m a star. Stars don’t have moms and dads.
KHIONE
[To JAMIE] Do you?
JAMIE
Yes. A mommy and a daddy. They’re so mean.
Do they love you?
JAMIE
How should I know?
KHIONE
Do they hug you every day? Do they make sure you’re full and healthy? Do they tell you they love you every day? [Beat.] Jamie?
JAMIE
Yeah. I guess they do.
KHIONE
And would they miss you if you never went back home?
JAMIE
Yes.
KHIONE
Like you’d miss them?
JAMIE
It’s not like I wouldn’t visit them. I can go back later.
KHIONE
Halley, please tell her what happens to people who live with the stars.
HALLEY
They…they don’t pay attention to time anymore, and before you know it, everyone you know grows old and forgets you.
JAMIE
They forget me?
HALLEY
I’m sorry.
JAMIE
My mommy’d never forget me.
KHIONE
If you stay here, they will. It’s space magic. If you don’t want to go back, then the cosmos makes them forget so they don’t stay sad all the time.
JAMIE
They’d forget me? I’ll forget them? Forever?
KHIONE nods.
JAMIE
I…I…I want to go home to my mommy.
HALLEY
What about the moon? Saturn skating? Snow forever? I know more fun places. I swear I do.
JAMIE starts to cry.
JAMIE
I wa
nt to go home.
KHIONE slowly exits.
HALLEY
You’ll never brush your teeth. You can leave all your toys on the floor. We can play together forever.
JAMIE
I want to go home.
HALLEY slowly exits. JAMIE doesn’t notice as SHE rubs HER eyes. JAMIE goes back to HER bed and gets under the covers.
JAMIE
I want to go home to mommy.
MOM (OS)
Jamie?
MOM enters.
MOM
Jamie, what’s wrong?
JAMIE
Mommy.
MOM sits on the bed and JAMIE hugs HER.
MOM
I’m here, sweetie. You have a nightmare?
JAMIE
No. It was a dream. A really, really, really weird dream.
MOM
What did you do?
JAMIE
I ate moon cheese. I skated on Saturn. I made a monster snowman. Doctor Carrot drove the ship, even though he wasn’t the captain. I was the captain.
MOM
Sounds like fun. Why are you crying?
JAMIE
They said if I stayed, you’d forget me, and I couldn’t come back.
MOM
Oh, sweetie.
MOM hugs JAMIE.
MOM
I’d never forget you.
JAMIE
Promise.
MOM
Not in a million years.
JAMIE
Not in a trillion, billion, jillion years?
MOM
Not in a trillion, billion, jillion years.
MOM kisses JAMIE on the forehead.
JAMIE
I love you, mommy.
MOM
I love you, too.
MOM gets up and walks to the door.
MOM
Now, go to sleep. You have school tomorrow.
MOM exits and JAMIE gets under the cover and falls asleep. HALLEY walks back on stage, and JAMIE wakes back up.
HALLEY
That’s a mom?
JAMIE
She’s my mom.
HALLEY
She’s nice.
JAMIE
I know.
HALLEY
You sure you don’t want to play with me forever?
JAMIE
I’m staying right here with my mommy.
HALLEY
Okay. I guess. Bye, Jamie.
JAMIE
Bye.
HALLEY
Bye-bye, Doctor Carrot.
JAMIE
He says, “Bye.”
HALLEY starts to walk off, and JAMIE falls back asleep.
HALLEY
Bye-bye, my friend.
JAMIE
[sleepily] Bye-bye.
HALLEY exits.
THE END