The Girl Who Stole A Star
By
Justin Blasdel
Justin Blasdel
Version 1
September 26th, 2012
justin_blasdel@yahoo.com
Characters
Jamie Chism: adventurous, excitable 8yr old Girl
Halley: curious, thrill-seeking young star
Nereus: Old, bumbling sailor
Khione: Kind, joyful princess
Mom: kind, yet authoritative mother
Time
Late at night right at bedtime.
Scene
A little girl’s room and the cosmos within it.
The room of a young, little girl. It’s filled with the unbarred imagination that only a hopeful, rebellious child could have. Simply pretending something is real is enough reason to believe it exists. There is a bed in the middle of the room and a window sill upstage. Against the foot of the bed is a toy chest sturdy enough to stand and jump on.
It’s about time for bed, but not everyone wants to agree to that.
MOM (OS)
Jamie? Jamie? Did you brush your teeth? Jamie!
Enter JAMIE. JAMIE has the spirit of a traveler, the heart of a lion, and the perfect attitude for the little girl that SHE is. Telling HER “no” is inviting HER to dispute anything till the end of time.
SHE holds a stuffed bunny as SHE stomp-walks.
JAMIE
Yes! But I don’t need to. I washed my mouth out with milk.
MOM (OS)
That’s not enough.
JAMIE
Milk’s good for your bones and teeth. Why can’t I brush with it?
MOM (OS)
Did you really brush your teeth with milk? [Beat] Jamie Chism, you answer me!
JAMIE
No! I didn’t. I promise.
MOM (OS)
Okay then. Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.
JAMIE
But I don’t want to go to bed.
MOM (OS)
Go to bed.
JAMIE
No.
MOM (OS)
Go to bed!
JAMIE
Don’t wanna.
MOM (OS)
I said go to bed, Jamie Chism, and you go to bed now!
JAMIE
Ohhh. Okay. [Half-beat] Love you, mommy.
MOM (OS)
Love you, too. Goodnight.
JAMIE
Goodnight.
JAMIE flips the light switch off, jumps on the bed, and gets under the covers.
JAMIE
Goodnight, Doctor Carrot.
JAMIE kisses the rabbit, hugs it, and tries to go to sleep. SHE rolls over. SHE rolls over again. SHE tries to lie straight. SHE tries to sleep on HER face. SHE puts the cover over HER head. SHE moves around under the cover, eventually lifting the cover over her head at the foot of the bed. SHE pulls the rabbit out.
JAMIE
This just isn’t working out, Doctor Carrot.
JAMIE throws the cover on the floor.
JAMIE
I’m not tired. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to sleep.
JAMIE jumps on the bed.
JAMIE
I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to…
JAMIE lands sitting down on the bed.
JAMIE
Sleep. Nope, nope. Not me.
JAMIE walks over to the window.
JAMIE
No moon. New moon. Lots of stars. You see, Doctor Carrot? Those are suns. Like our sun. We call them stars. That’s their tech-a-nickel name. Stars. And some fall down. Out of the sky and on the dirt. You think I’ll see one tonight? [Beat] You need to be more positive. Good things happen when you think good things. Yep.
JAMIE sees a falling star.
SFX: Wind from a fast moving object which grows in volume.
JAMIE
There’s one! Right there! See it? It’s falling out of the sky. Coool. Mommy won’t believe this. [Beat] It’s close. Very, very close. Is it supposed to get that close? Uh-oh. Mommy! Mommy!
JAMIE drops HER bunny and jumps under the covers to hide. SHE realizes this and jumps out on the ground and grabs HER bunny, then jumps back under the covers.
SFX: Star landing.
HALLEY enters. SHE is curious by nature and as rebellious as JAMIE. Earth people are full of fun in HER eyes, and SHE definitely wants to have fun.
HALLEY comes through the window, carefully. SHE is dressed in gold and carries nothing. SHE walks around the room looking for anyone. JAMIE is under the covers, shaking in fear. HALLEY walks around the bed and then notices the shaking covers. HALLEY smiles and carefully pokes the covers.
JAMIE
I’m not here! No one’s here! Oh, darn! [whispers] Quiet, Doctor Carrot.
HALLEY
Hello?
JAMIE
Not here.
HALLEY sits down beside JAMIE. HALLEY then pulls the cover over JAMIE. JAMIE has HER eyes closed as SHE holds HER bunny closely. HALLEY gives JAMIE a wet willie. JAMIE opens HER eyes.
JAMIE
Eww!
HALLEY
Hello. I’m Halley. What’s your name?
JAMIE
You’re a star.
HALLEY
Yep. I’m a star.
JAMIE
You fell.
HALLEY
No. I came down.
JAMIE
Why?
HALLEY
I want to play. Will you play with me?
JAMIE moves away and looks out the window.
JAMIE
You came down from the sky to play with me?
HALLEY
Mm-hmm.
Beat.
JAMIE
Wow. Don’t the other stars want to play.
HALLEY
Nope. They’re all old and grown up.
JAMIE
I hate grown ups.
HALLEY
Me too.
JAMIE
You’re cool. Wanna play tea time orrrrrr go outside and swing orrrrr dress up orrrrr play Jersey Shore orrrr—
HALLEY
Wanna sail on the Milky Way in our own boat?
JAMIE
That sounds more fun. Sure. How do we play that?
HALLEY
Get on the bed.
JAMIE
This is the boat?
HALLEY
Mm-hmm.
JAMIE
Okay. You raise the sails and I’ll drive.
HALLEY
Okay.
HALLEY raises the Sails and JAMIE gets behind the wheel on the boat.
HALLEY
Ready?
JAMIE
Doctor Carrot and me are good. Let’s sail!
HALLEY
Okay. Here we go.
The bed suddenly becomes a real ship of sorts and flies through the wind. JAMIE is surprised, because SHE thought they’d only be playing pretend. HALLEY keeps smiling.
SFX: A hum gets louder and louder, followed by wind moving past an object.
JAMIE
What’s happening? The bed’s moving! We’re flying!
HALLEY
We have to fly. The Milky Way is up in the sky.
JAMIE
Out in space?!
HALLEY
All the way in space.
JAMIE
Hold your breath, Doctor Carrot!
JAMIE holds HER breath. The g-force moves JAMIE and HALLEY side to side until it drops.
SFX: The splash of water. Wind noise stops.
HALL
EY watches JAMIE with merriment until JAMIE can no longer hold HER breath.
JAMIE
I can breathe.
HALLEY
Of course you can. I made it so you can. You’re welcome.
JAMIE looks over the bed and reaches down as if putting HER hand in water.
JAMIE
We’re in a river. A white river.
HALLEY
It’s milk. Taste it.
JAMIE tastes it.
JAMIE
Mmmm! It’s good.
HALLEY
It’s great with cereal.
JAMIE
I like this place.
JAMIE moves to hold an invisible wheel.
JAMIE
So where to, captain? Wait, no. I want to be captain. I’m driving the ship, after all.
HALLEY
Okay. Where to, captain?
JAMIE
Uhm…where are we going now?
HALLEY
To the moon. It’s made of cheese.
JAMIE
Cheese? Mmmm. I like cheese. Let’s go there.
HALLEY
JAMIE
Captain Chism. My last name’s Chism.
HALLEY
Captain Chism, we’re going down the Milky Way fast. Hold on!
JAMIE and HALLEY move around as if THEY are hastily moving down a slip-and-slide. To the right. To the left. Up. Down.
JAMIE
Woooooah! This is awesome!
HALLEY
I like it, too!
JAMIE
Don’t fall off, Doctor Carrot. I don’t want you to be wet and smelly.
HALLEY
Almost there.
JAMIE
No, no! I like this ride. More!
HALLEY
Maybe after the cheese.
The ship comes to a sudden stop.
JAMIE
Are we there?
HALLEY
Yep. On the moon, in the land of white cheese. Let’s get a wheel. Quick.
JAMIE
But we’re on a boat. Boats don’t have wheels.
HALLEY
A wheel of cheese, silly. Let’s go.
HALLEY holds out HER hand.
JAMIE
You stay here, Doctor Carrot. It’s too dangerous.
JAMIE puts the bunny down and grabs a hold of HALLEY’s hand. THEY get off the bed. Now, they are in a land of cheese. It’s a jungle filled with the energy and danger of an untamed land.
JAMIE
Wow.
HALLEY
Yes. Very wow.
JAMIE
What’s that?
HALLEY
That? That’s a Swiss butterfly.
JAMIE
It’s got holes in its wings. How can it fly?
HALLEY
Watch out!
THEY duck down to avoid being hit by the flying Swiss butterfly.
JAMIE
[to Swiss butterfly] Hey, watch out where you’re going, buddy!
HALLEY
Down this way. This is where he keeps the wheels.
JAMIE
Who?
HALLEY
Nereus, the wax guard.
JAMIE and HALLEY walk around the bed, looking around with amazement.
JAMIE
Everything is…it’s…
HALLEY
Strange? Big? Exciting?
JAMIE
Smelly. Eww.
HALLEY
But it’s a good smelly.
JAMIE
No. It’s just smelly.
HALLEY
There it is!
JAMIE
A treasure chest.
HALLEY and JAMIE walk up to the toy chest in front of the bed. HALLEY opens it, and JAMIE takes out a wheel of cheese with a one foot radius.
JAMIE
It’s heavy. And smells good. It’s a good smelling cheese.
HALLEY
It is.
JAMIE goes to take a bite.
HALLEY
No!
JAMIE
Yes!
HALLEY
No, we need it.
JAMIE
Why?
HALLEY
For the ship. It’s like gas. We put it in the ship, and we can go anywhere.
JAMIE
But…it smells good.
HALLEY takes the wheel away.
JAMIE
Hey!
NEREUS (OS)
Who goes there? Who visits the moon with no permission?
HALLEY
Oh, no! Hide!
What? Why?
HALLEY
Just do it!
JAMIE and HALLEY run under the covers and hide. Enter NEREUS. NEREUS is an old sailor, a worldly character, and older than dirt. HE’s a proud of warrior, but one who suffers from Peter Pan syndrome.
NEREUS wobbles in on HIS dead leg and cane, while HE keeps HIS hat on with a free hand. HE looks around with HIS one good eye for the trespassers and thieves. HE looks long and hard under every crevice, but does not see the obvious people hiding under the bed. HE’s about to give up until JAMIE sneezes.
NEREUS
A-ha!
NEREUS uncovers the GIRLS with HIS cane.
NEREUS
Thieves!
JAMIE
No, we didn’t.
NEREUS
I have you now, malefactors.
HALLEY
We’re not male…mal…ma—we’re not thieves.
NEREUS
Oh, no? Then what is that bit of cheese doing in your slimy digits?
JAMIE
We need it.
NEREUS
So, does the need make the thievery not exist?
HALLEY
Nu-uh.
NEREUS raises HIS cane up to HALLEY.
NEREUS
I shall be having that which is not rightfully yours, little girl.
JAMIE jumps off the bed and runs behind NEREUS.
JAMIE
Let us go, you bully!
JAMIE kicks NEREUS in the butt. NEREUS stands up too quickly, and HIS back goes out.
NEREUS
Oh, oh, oh, oh! My bow is broken. Lower the masts…and set anchor.
NEREUS falls on the bed. HALLEY slaps NEREUS.
HALLEY
Serves you, right.
JAMIE
You got punked, sucka!
NEREUS
Please, have mercy on an old man.
JAMIE and HALLEY look at EACHOTHER, nod, and grab NEREUS by the legs. THEY drag HIM off the bed.
NEREUS
Oh, oh, oh, oh! I see stars before me.
HALLEY
I’m just one star.
JAMIE
Not you, silly.
HALLEY
Oh. Let’s put him over there.
JAMIE
Okay.
JAMIE and HALLEY drag NEREUS offstage and return.
JAMIE
High five!
HALLEY
Yeah!
THEY high five.
NEREUS
You’ll never get away with this, you miscreants!
JAMIE
Uh, yeah we will, stupid.
HALLEY
Yeah, stupid. [to JAMIE] Okay. We have the cheese wheel. Our ship can go now. We have to hide, and I have a good hiding place. Wanna go?
JAMIE
Uh, yeah!
HALLEY
Okay. Get on the ship.
THEY jump on the bed. HALLEY puts the cheese in the pillow sheet. JAMIE holds the wheel.
JAMIE
Uhm…where we going?
HALLEY
To Saturn!
JAMIE
To Saturn!
SFX: Engine hums louder and louder.
JAMIE grabs a hold of the invisible wheel and stomps HER foot down on the
invisible foot pedal. The two GIRLS shake around with the ship’s movement.
JAMIE
Wheeeeee!
HALLEY
Don’t go on the Milky Way. We have the gas. Go straight for Saturn.
JAMIE
Hey, I’m the captain. And I say…let’s go!
JAMIE pushes harder on the invisible pedal, and the GIRLS feel the g-force times three. Up, down, side-to-side, aaaaaaaaaaaaaand there.
HALLEY
Astroid! Watch out!
THEY scream. JAMIE swerves to miss the asteroid.
JAMIE
I missed it!