Nikki Maxwell’s worst nightmare comes true in book nine of the #1 New York Times bestselling Dork Diaries series! A certain member of the CCP girls Dork fans know all about has gotten her hands on Nikki’s diary and has decided to share some thoughts of her own…Find out what happens when Nikki’s worst nightmare becomes a reality. Welcome to MacKenzie’s world!!

A delightful romp through the early career of Mike, a talented sportsman. The evocation of public school life and the codes of honor belonging to school, family, and the game are conveyed with P.G. Wodehouse's customary wit and brilliance. [Librarian Note: The book Mike contains this book as the first half, and Mike and Psmith as the second half.]

A collection of 13 stories with a humorous twist, in No Zombies Allowed you will visit an unusual neighborhood where the undead come together for a little fun. Zombies are people too, holding bar-b-q’s on the Fourth of July, or going to work to provide for their family.A collection of 13 stories with a humorous twist, in No Zombies Allowed you will visit an unusual neighborhood where the undead come together for a little fun. Zombies are people too, holding bar-b-q’s on the Fourth of July, or going to work to provide for their family. What happens if the Grim Reaper decides to go on strike? Can the paranormal world and the living come together, or is the Zombie Reunification Act a mistake? Lisa McCourt Hollar’s slapstick approach to death is refreshing and will leave you laughing long after you finish reading.

David Sedaris tells all in a book that is, literally, a lifetime in the making. For forty years, David Sedaris has kept a diary in which he records everything that captures his attention-overheard comments, salacious gossip, soap opera plot twists, secrets confided by total strangers. These observations are the source code for his finest work, and through them he has honed his cunning, surprising sentences. Now, Sedaris shares his private writings with the world. Theft by Finding, the first of two volumes, is the story of how a drug-abusing dropout with a weakness for the International House of Pancakes and a chronic inability to hold down a real job became one of the funniest people on the planet. Written with a sharp eye and ear for the bizarre, the beautiful, and the uncomfortable, and with a generosity of spirit that even a misanthropic sense of humor can't fully disguise, Theft By Finding proves that Sedaris is one of our great modern observers. It's a potent reminder that when you're as perceptive and curious as Sedaris, there's no such thing as a boring day.

A collection of Midwest and Southern short stories and jokes by the author.A collection of Midwest and Southern short stories and jokes by the author. Includes chapters from the novel Thibodaux's Trial.

In this stand-alone sequel to "Lulu and the Brontosaurus," industry legends Viorst and Smith once again prove that even the loudest, rudest, and most obstinate of girls can win readers over.

It happens to all of us ... our ride breaks down and we have to pull over and fix the damn thing. It even happens to astronauts, although in the case of spacecraft it does at least mean that the passengers cannot be terrorised by the owner into getting out and pushing.It happens to all of us ... our ride breaks down and we have to pull over and fix the damn thing. It even happens to astronauts, although in the case of spacecraft it does at least mean that the passengers cannot be terrorised by the owner into getting out and pushing.The astronaut had landed his crippled craft on an alien surface filled with all the terrors of the unknown (and the slightly less scary terrors previously encountered). Luckily, this hero has no problems, as the locals are mostly harmless, and anyway the Space Exploration Corporation has strict policies about getting eaten on remote planets. One of the locals, however, decides to make contact.

Vampire Desmond Sharpe is so sure of his immunity to mankind that he finances --and stars in-- a movie based on his own life. When his movie attracts a midnight audience-participation cult, he goes to see the show that's sprung up around his show, which is a big mistake, as some in the audience are in fact scientists, who possess information that will change Desmond's life on Earth forever.Once upon a time, in a town called Hollywood, there was a vampire so very self-assured, so convinced of his immunity to mankind, that he used his ill-gotten wealth to finance --and star in-- a motion picture based on his own life. The vampire's film, in turn, attracted a rabid cult audience, who attended midnight shows dressed as characters in the film, talked to the screen, and threw things in the cinema. Eventually --unable to help himself-- the vampire went to see the show that had sprung up around his show, which was a big mistake, as several of the audience members were not just avid movie-goers but were in fact scientists, who have in their possession information that will change the life of every vampire on Earth forever.

I wrote this story for my great grandchildren and they enjoyed it immensely. Your little grandies might like it too. And you may even find it amusing yourself … or enjoy reading it to your young’ns, anyway. (…and let me say, dear reader, that you do so with my very warmest compliments.) L.J.A Life Awakening is a chronicle about the troubled life of a young man named Ethan Elliot, as told by his spirit guide, William. In the first of this series, Whispers from Within, we join Ethan as he feels he finally has found his soul mate in his relationship with Jennifer. Little does Ethan realize that his entire world is about to be turned upside down. Yet, as Ethan's spirit guide, and with minimal intervention, William will guide Ethan to places he never expected to go, and to people he never expected to meet.Ethan's story begins in New York, when problems developed in his relationship with Jennifer. Heartbroken, Ethan, with the aid of divine intervention, decides to move on, in the hope of finding greener pastures and a new life. What Ethan discovers about himself is an important milestone, as it is to all of us when we awaken to the myriad of possibilities in the lives our souls chose to live.As Ethan listens to stories of the many people he meets from all walks of life, he slowly begins to re-evaluate his own true purpose in life. With the progression of both time and maturity, Ethan discovers the very essence of life itself, as well as the importance of those whom he considers true friends.Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you thought everything was perfect, only to discover that circumstances were about to change abruptly? Whispers from Within will open your eyes to possibilities that at first blush you never would have considered, as you follow Ethan through his journey. All too often in our lives, we develop a preconceived notion of what the ideal should be in a life partner, a family, a job, or any of the many situations that require decisions on a daily basis. We make those decisions based on a number of factors, often just by watching what our friends and family are doing with their lives. But in life’s grand scheme of things one size doesn't fit all, so we adjust our lives based on our own life experiences.Whispers from Within, for both Ethan and the reader, celebrates life, with its many paths that lie before us. An entirely new world of options for living one’s life can be found once we drop the pretense of believing we always know what we want out of life. With the aid of your spirit guide, you will gain the ability to quiet the noise of daily life, while going deep within yourself to discover your truest motivations. Like Ethan, eventually you will begin to stop fighting the life your soul chose this time around, and begin to live a life of joy that others could only envy. In time, Ethan learns an important lesson, that a life well-lived has its own rewards, and neither Ethan, nor the lives he touches, will ever be the same.

A book with some stuff in it.Not for the faint hearted, this is my individual take on a wide range of situations and circumstances that have either amused or irritated me over a period of some 45 years or so, of a varied but ‘normal’ life (whatever ‘normal’ is). Some of the observations relate to big political, cultural, National or International issues; some are flippant minor irritants.So, what sort of a book is this? Is it a work of fiction or non-fiction? Basically, is it for you?Well, it’s not a novel - not a proper completely made up story that’s for sure. Some book reviewers have asked: “Where’s the story? The thread to lock the reader in?” Well I’ll break it to you gently – there isn’t one. The only thread is the warped transmissions that rattle around inside my skull on a whole host of issues from politicians, to mobile phones, to caravans and a lot more besides.This is basically a book with some stuff in it. It is largely based on facts and my take on events and occurrences that amuse or irritate. However, some elements might have been slightly elongated to become almost fiction. And there might be the occasional slight exaggeration. In fact, some of it might be complete made up crap. And most names and places have been distorted or changed to protect the innocent or not so innocent.So, if you are looking for a complex intriguing plot with carefully crafted characters – it’s possibly not for you.If, however, you have the attention span of an Amazonian gnat and simply want something that you can dip into and out of, in any order that takes your fancy, it could be just what you are looking for.Warning: not for the faint hearted or anybody who thinks life is in any way real, or to be taken seriously.“Hilarious ranting and moaning, but always set up within the context of a real and interesting storyline”.“The world this guy inhabits, many will recognise. But some of his solutions to the key issues of the day might make a few wince”.“Laugh out loud funny for grumpy old - and not so old - men. A perfect gift for that frustrated male in your life”.Note this is an Abbreviated version of the Full Book Planet Me containing a total of 10 Chapters 59 pages. If you happen to be a miserable grumpy old sod like me and you enjoy a good moan; you just never know, it might be for you. MANY THANKS - from PLANET me.

Let’s face it: Rex Limburger, Jr. is a wimp. He knows it, the whole world knows it, especially the bullies. But today Rex stops being a wimp. Because today he’s brought… a bodyguard. A zombie bodyguard. And nothing will ever be the same. But not in the way Rex thinks…This time, the group of teenage survivors led by Chelsea,have to face another group of survivors that want to take control of The Phoenix; the currency that Chelsea's group made. This new group want to revive the banking system based on debt.

On a space station far from Earth, animal liberationists inadvertently jeopardize thirty-eight innocent turkeys. The station’s cook, Stevens, ensures the fowl shall not have died in vain.In this science fiction Christmas comedy, cultures clash, hearts are won, and dinner is served.Love on the Way, is a story of two people with no names, in fact is the story of every common ordinary individual, story where no connection exists between two people but still somehow or the other they feel there's something between them, not knowing what exactly it is, are they made for each other or are just another couple lost in each others dream surrounded by crowd.These is the story of two people both look at each other, smile at each other, there heart knows the other is also having same feeling but in reality they don't even know if their is saying the truth.And then the revelation of life and its effect on these two lifes.Constructed on a the plot of a real incident, a story that will touch your heart and compel you to read through the last line.

The Mad God Monos, who insists people eat meat only on Wednesdays and have relations only during the full moon, had mustered an army and was poised to invade Helvenica.The people of Helvenica needed a hero, a brave warrior to defend their right to eat meat and relate whenever they pleased. What they got was Fotio, a reluctant hero with a bad attitude towards religion and a tendency to daydream.The Mad God Monos, who insists that his worshipers eat meat only on Wednesdays and have, um, relations only during the full moon, had mustered an army and was poised to invade Helvenica. He was determined to drive the old Gods into the spiritual wilderness and establish himself as the One God.The people of Helvenica needed a hero, a brave warrior to stand up to the usurper and defend their right to eat meat every day and relate whenever they pleased. What they got was Fotio, a reluctant hero with a bad attitude towards religion and a tendency to daydream.