Founded on the tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous, a bachelor can turn to other members of the circle whenever the urge to take a woman out to dinner surfaces.

From the bestselling author of Tenth of December comes a splendid new edition of his acclaimed collaboration with the illustrator behind The Stinky Cheese Man and James and the Giant Peach! Featuring fifty-two haunting and hilarious images, The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip is a modern fable for people of all ages that touches on the power of kindness, generosity, compassion, and community. In the seaside village of Frip live three families: the Romos, the Ronsens, and a little girl named Capable and her father. The economy of Frip is based solely on goat’s milk, and this is a problem because the village is plagued by gappers: bright orange, many-eyed creatures the size of softballs that love to attach themselves to goats. When a gapper gets near a goat, it lets out a high-pitched shriek of joy that puts the goats off giving milk, which means that every few hours the children of Frip have to go outside, brush the gappers off their goats, and toss them into the sea. The gappers have always been everyone’s problem, until one day they get a little smarter, and instead of spreading out, they gang up: on Capable’s goats. Free at last of the tyranny of the gappers, will her neighbors rally to help her? Or will they turn their backs, forcing Capable to bear the misfortune alone? Featuring fifty-two haunting and hilarious illustrations by Lane Smith and a brilliant story by George Saunders that explores universal themes of community and kindness, The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip is a rich and resonant story for those that have all and those that have not. Praise for The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip “In a perfect world, every child would own a copy of this profound, funny fable. . . . Every adult would own a copy too, and would marvel at how this smart, subversive little book is even deeper and more hilarious than any child could know.”—Entertainment Weekly “Saunders’s idiosyncratic voice makes an almost perfect accompaniment to children’s book illustrator Smith’s heightened characterizations and slightly surreal backdrops.”—Publishers Weekly “A riveting, funny, and sly new fairy tale.”—Miami Herald

William Makepeace Thackeray (18 July 1811 – 24 December 1863) was a much loved and well respected English novelist of the 19th century. He is well known for his satirical works, particularly Vanity Fair. Any profits made from the sale of this book will go towards supporting the Freeriver Community project, a project that aims to support community and encourage well-being. To learn more about the Freeriver Community project please visit the website- www.freerivercommunity.com

A novelette about an unlikely superhero and her tale of revenge.A novelette about an unlikely superhero.

Twenty-eight year-old Jesse Caldwell is painfully shy, lives at home and hates his moronic life. Miranda Huffington suffers from a gimpy leg and equally stunted personality. This is not your standard Harlequin romance.By 2050 the country has gone through some slight changes thanks to a dramatic shift in the makeup in the country's populace giving liberals, referred to by various uncomplimentary names, control over Washington. In that thirty years the country becomes the veritable paradise moonbats have long sought to create, but more resembling a third-world banana republic where English is replaced by twenty-five variations of gang slang, no one gets beyond third grade, rioting and something resembling football with hockey sticks are the national pastimes. There is now a "Forever President," welfare moms have replaced small business, corn is the cornerstone of industry, and people drive around in either battery-powered bubble cars or Latino lowriders. All the while, non-thinking Schwartz is led around on a doggie leash, and has become a 'pinball,' with names ranging from Vic to Dick to Bic, and spends his day bouncing around the fenced playground of a former elementary school turned asylum for the insane. One fine spring day the gate to the compound suddenly opens and Schwartz, along with a hundred or so inmates, unthinkingly escape. While walking aimlessly down a highway, he is struck by another truck (an electric bus) and suddenly awakens from his long sleep to find the liberals' variation of paradise has really arrived in America! Schiessen!

This is a full length play written specifically for community theater. Any non-profit theater may produce it without royalties.(It is best read on a full size screen because of the fonts and format)This play has won several regional awards and has been staged over 100 times. It is an edgy, politically incorrect musical that pokes fun at politicians, government, and pop culture.Have fun with it.(I am offering this play to any theater company at no cost. You may produce it without royalties). We first meet the Masked Man and Tonto as they push a shopping cart through the audience. He is recycling aluminum cans. He is homeless and his unemployment checks have run out. The recession has been hard on him.But alas, good times are just around the corner. He lands a job as the sheriff in the small town of Dirtwater, Texas. (with an embellished resume, I might add) Then he meets Carrie Nation and her wild band of women radicals. They are breaking whiskey bottles in record numbers. To complicate matters, J. Edgar Hoover shows up and arrests the Mayor on corruption charges. On top of all that, poor little Fester--the orphan boy--needs money for another leg operation. What a mess.But hold on, you haven’t met Sioux (Sue) yet. She is hot on Tonto’s tail when she learns he has inherited millions from his father’s Indian Casino. There is also a cameo appearance of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders--just for fun. This is a politically incorrect play and proud of it. It pokes fun at Hollywood, sports, political activists, and the government.Most community theaters have used this play to increase their working capital. It has done well for them. The author will assist any theater company in the production of The Great American Western. Bruce Guelden

A tale of adventure and friendship as a trio of endearing mice take on the dreaded Mr Rae (and his dastardly traps) in the fight of their lives. “Mice Movie” is a comedy in a similar vain to Ratatouille - so if you are a PARENT PLEASE READ THROUGH BEFORE GIVING TO A CHILD.If you appreciated this work please, if you are able, make a small dination to a charity of your choice.A tale of adventure and friendship as a trio of endearing mice take on the dreaded Mr Rae (and his dastardly traps) in the fight of their lives.“Mice Movie” is a comedy in a similar vain to Ratatouille - so if you are a PARENT PLEASE READ THROUGH BEFORE GIVING TO A CHILD. If you appreciated this work please, if you are able, make a small donation to a charity of your choice.Mice Movie was inspired by seeing someone drop popcorn at a movie theatre. The synopsis was completed in Aug 2010 and the story was written in May 2011. It was re-edited between 21st and 25th May 2012.If you are an illustrator interested in collaborating on an illustrated version of this short story, please contact me via my linkedin page.

This book was converted from its physical edition to the digital format by a community of volunteers. You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

Piers Anthony delivers another tale set in the bestselling world of Xanth, filled with magic, surprises, adventure, and a few puns. Here s what the author has to say about his new book: "Five Portraits"is a kind of sequel to"Board Stiff"in that it picks up where the other leaves off, with the same characters. Apart from that, it s one of my favorites within the series. There s something about Astrid Basilisk that appeals to me: a very pretty girl whose very glance is deadly, yet she s a nice person whose selfless effort to save five difficult children from future Xanth is thoroughly worthy. I also like the theme of the power of unlikely friendship. Not just Xanth, but Mundania, too, would be better if there were more such friendships. "

Received an honourable mention on the Globe and Mail's top first fiction for 2008 Shari Lapeña takes the wit of David Sedaris and the outrageousness of Douglas Coupland to create a dark, hilarious and wildly inventive contemporary comedy about how the past can come back to haunt you. Literally. In Things Go Flying, Harold Walker is desperately average and listless at mid-life, stemming in part from the abrupt death of his one-time best friend, Tom. Harold's wife Audrey, an increasingly frustrated housewife and mother to their two teenage sons, is a control freak silently harbouring an explosive secret. Things go flying in the Walker household when Harold's long-deceased mother comes back to haunt them. He finds he has her gift for opening the door to the past-and if there was ever a gift he wanted to return, it's this one! Audrey is similarly terrified-how is she to safeguard her secret now? If she can't control this world, how is she to control the next one? And how will she protect her good china? Harold, who has made a practice of avoiding things all his life, must confront two problems-how to find meaning in this life, and how to come to grips with the mostly terrifying idea that life just might go on forever!

This is a reproduction of a book published before 1923. This book may have occasional imperfections such as missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. that were either part of the original artifact, or were introduced by the scanning process. We believe this work is culturally important, and despite the imperfections, have elected to bring it back into print as part of our continuing commitment to the preservation of printed works worldwide. We appreciate your understanding of the imperfections in the preservation process, and hope you enjoy this valuable book. --This text refers to the Paperback edition. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Everyone’s favorite time-travelers are changing their styles!  The Time Warp Trio series now features a brand-new, eye-catching design, sure to appeal to longtime fans, and those new to Jon Scieszka’s wacky brand of humor.

Quirky verses with a loosely animal related theme, including armadillos, camels, stick insects, elephants and dodos, but not necessarily in that order.Rain Phillipa has always been an adventurous teenager, but when her adventures get her in hot water with the authorities as well as her family, she feels her only option is to run away. Soon finding herself in the heart of Kansas City, Rain is taken in by a secretive criminal operation who show her the life she's always wanted; drugs, parties, and violence quickly encapsulate her world. But when her family's search for her continues gaining volunteers and media attention and the secrecy of the criminal organization is directly endangered Rain can't help but wonder if this life of adventure and excess can really last forever. Delicate Rain contains some mature content, guidance advised.

Have you ever considered life-changing surgery? Join Mr Pepo as he places his faith and future in the hands of an eminent eccentric.This is a Young Adult Fantasy, set in the magical world of Ytir. Owain Brecca Morwenna is a young Tiraeg noble who has power over the element of Air. He has been captured by Turkic corsairs, and made to use his Talent in their service. Now he has the chance to escape, and return to his family - and finds that his troubles are only just beginning....His Uncle Ianto would prefer Owain to remain dead as part of his plot to become Morwenna of Ravenscar's heir - and what did happen to Cousin Peredur? And when Owain finally gets back to Ravenscar, will his mother Brecca accept him? He was deliberately crippled by the corsairs to stop him from running away, and will never be able to walk normally again - which disqualifies him from inheriting her lands, under Tiraeg law.

A free-lance journalist is singled out from a scrum of other reporters and spirited away by the body guard of none other than Muoammar Gaddafi. This scares the crap out of her, not knowing their intensions. It turns out they want her to personally interview Gaddafi and that frightens her even more but she soldiers on and wonders why they chose her. Do they have a hidden agenda?Being a journalist in the Middle East takes tremendous courage, especially if you are a woman and even more so if you’ve been consigned to interview The Mad Dog of the Middle East. Gaddafi has always been reputed to be obsessed with virgins both here as well as on the other side where he has been since Oct. 2011. Back in 2010 when he was still on the earth plain he had our protagonist shaking in her boots when he summoned her to his quarters for a private interview and who knew what the hell else.