Jeffrey goes to the pub. A lot. He's gone stale and his suit hangs off him in demonstration of the fact. Jeffrey has lost touch with a lot, until something changes things.Reginald and Amanda are the perfect couple in Paradise Cove. Amanda is a-typical; popular and rich, she’s a daddy’s girl who gets everything she wants. Reginald is not only equally popular, he’s perfect in every way. He has dirty blonde surfer boy shaggy hair, sea blue eyes, golden tan, athletic body, and a cherry red vintage 1967 convertible Corvette. Their world is perfect in everyone’s eyes, right down to their wedding announcement last month at the Marina Bay Country Club. Nevertheless, with all perfect things, there’s always a threat. One that money could easily solve. After all, in their world, money solves everything, right? It can make any problem go away. Unless…it’s someone that money can’t buy. Someone who has proof about a missing girl that was last seen riding in a vintage red Corvette. The police of Paradise Cove ignore her attempts at helping to solve her best friend’s disappearance, but with or without their help, she will face whatever danger arises, to find her friend.

Things begin to go hilariously wrong for seasoned heist sisters Olivia and Samantha when they run into their biggest competition on what they hope to be the last heist of their career. Olivia and Samantha have to get creative to make sure they walk away with the biggest payday of their careers, and out of a life of crime for good.Olivia and Samantha have been making their living in crime for as long as they can remember. They’ve planned their final heist to be the biggest yet and have planned every moment down to the second. What they didn’t plan for was the appearance of Alex and Paolo; a set of brothers who frequently track their every move, ready to try and snatch their hard-earned prizes from under their noses. As the sisters sift through a never-ending trove of junk for their ultimate treasure, Alex and Paolo throw a wrench in their plans and almost cost them the entire heist, and their chance to escape the crime life forever.

Wonka is proud to present his very own tale, a Christmas Caterol for all to enjoy at this special time of year. It does of course feature his Owner, who is slowly warming up to the season of goodwill, and it will also wave a paw in the direction of that most famous of Christmas tales, by Mr Dickens. So it's a Merry Christmas from Wonka, with Owner not far behind..The sixth Wonka story is of course a Christmas story as told by Wonka, with Owner for once listening along.. underlined as ever by the voice of reason, this gentle Caterol introduces us to a cat called Sheba, a ghostly shadow by the poor back door and other Christmas Eve happenings! As a special treat there is a small paw waved at Owner's hero Mr Dickens, who brought us the best Christmas story of all. Wonka can only do his poor best, and hopes you will as ever, keep up with Wonka! Thanks to Wonka, Owner can sit back, enjoy the story and forget her troubles. Do join in! Merry Christmas one and all.

A group of seventh graders are sent to an innovative enrichment camp, which turns out to be nothing like what the students or their parents expected. The students find themselves alone, with no adults, and no way to return to civilization. A series of surprising and humorous events leads them to discover the true meanings behind life and the freedom to learn.A small town in America decides to cancel seventh grade, after a tumultuous group of sixth graders forces all of their teachers to quit. Instead of returning to school after summer break, the group is sent to an innovative enrichment camp, which turns out to be nothing like what the students or their parents expected. The seventh graders find themselves alone, with no adults, and no way to return to civilization. A series of surprising and humorous events leads them to discover the true meanings behind life and the freedom to learn.

A short story about a donkey with an attitude who hassles a small town and shakes the authority of Church and State.Born the daughter of a gentleman but now an innkeeper's niece, Lily loses hope that her true love, an officer in His Majesty's Navy, will return to claim her as his bride. When his ship returns home, she must choose between risking shame and ridicule by running to him, or waiting like a lady for him to come to her...if he still wants her.

A young married couple attempt a simple Sunday outing to the grocery store but when the man's wife accuses him of flirting with the girl working the deli counter and influencing her to steal chicken for him he tries to reason with her. She's stubborn and insists that he report the incident to the store manager. Problems arise. This is a quirky odd storyA young married couple attempt a simple Sunday outing to the grocery store but when the man's wife accuses him of flirting with the girl working the deli counter and influencing her to steal chicken for him he tries to reason with her. She's stubborn and insists that he report the incident to the store manager. Problems arise. This is a quirky odd story.

Detective story were uncouth detective Kirk "the kipper" McClacket recounts to us a very unusual and dangerous situation that he found himself in. Contains some swearing.Detective story were uncouth detective Kirk "the kipper" McClacket recounts to us a very unusual and dangerous situation that he found himself in. I wrote this around 12 or 13 years ago. I remember this was part of a writing challenge (see my story "smashwords writing duel" to understand what the writing challenges where about) that I did with Mick Carter. I remember that I always wanted to create an anti-hero, someone you shouldn't like, but for some reason there was something about them that made you smile. Thus Kirk The Kipper was born.Also a big thanks to Emily Carter for suggesting the "Red legged Chilean Tarantula" as part of the writing contest. Without it, Kirk the Kipper would have been a bit of a wet fish! Contains some swearing.If you read this story then why not leave me a review to tell me what you thought. Any feedback (be it good or bad) is always most helpful.

Comedy, mystery and the battle of the sexes… all set in a haunted castle! Armed with only cunning and charm, who will see it through the night when the ghostly Green Lady walks?In this tale of comedy, mystery and the battle of the sexes, cheating-heart Hamish has finally driven his wife Elizabeth out of her senses. She has fled into the crypt of her ancestral home, convinced that she's the ghost of the Green Lady, whose spectral footsteps stalk the dark passages of Brackley Castle. But Hamish's friend Max isn't so sure. He suspects Elizabeth has a trick or two up her sleeve, especially as she's being aided and abetted by her clever, bewitching cousin Mina. Armed with only cunning and charm, who will see it through the night when the ghostly Green Lady walks?

A little boy wants to play in the sprinkler on the hottest day of summer but Grandpa won't let him.Somewhere deep in her mind Christine Marsden is witnessing the murder of young girls.And now she has urges to hurt her own children.After a head injury which left her having nightmares and visions, Christine is convinced that something inside her brain has broken, and that she is slowly sinking into insanity.She is terrified of what she might be capable of. She fears that in losing her mind she will also lose her children and husband.Christine embarks on a desperate fight to try to halt the fracture of her mind before it’s too late, and in doing so, discovers the hidden truth behind the dark horrors she is experiencing.

The 3d in a series of 14 short stories by Abbie Joules as she recounts the exploits of her and her brother, Bendigo, growing up on a farm in east Texas in the early 50's. The story sees Abbie seeking status in her father's eyes, and a pet in the form of a baby raccoon. A cow goes missing, leading to a wild cry in a tree, and Abbie finds herself in deep trouble. See what it takes to get her out!The 3d in a series of 14 short stories by Abbie Joules as she recounts the exploits of her and her brother, Bendigo, growing up on a farm in east Texas in the late 40's. A cow called Two-Banger goes missing, again, and this time it is young Abbie who is sent to retrieve her. Along the way Abbie discovers a nest of baby raccoons in a hollow tree, and unable to resist, she climbs into the tree only to find herself ensnared as the night comes on. Finally discovered by her brother, he and his father go to great and heroic lengths to free her. What would you have done?

The truth behind the old legend! The honest story of the King, the Monster and the Hero; the real Beowulf revealed in a tale that puts the darkness back in the dark ages!The truth behind the old legend! The honest story of the King, the Monster and the Hero; the real Beowulf revealed in a tale that puts the darkness back in the dark ages!Colonial King Lars builds his imperialistic Beer Hall on the ancestral swamp of the Trolls causing a conflict that (quite literally) rips apart the feudal world. He is forced to send for the sinister Beowulf in order to defeat his nemesis, the revolutionary Troll, Grendel. Beowulf, however, has plans of his own. As the forces of Man and Nature collide friends and foes are not all they seem. Except for Gareth, the Royal Dog; he is exactly what he seems.Beowulf, Grendel and King Lars battle for control of the Biggest Beer Hall There Has Ever Been; and, although we all think we know the story, the outcome is very far from sure.Beer, Blood, Fire, Death and Danger are all out there as the struggle for power begins!

‘SkyDie’ is a disturbing short comedy and a parody of backpacker culture. The reader sees Liam, an average backpacker, witness his friends’ gruesome fall from grace thanks to a horrific skydiving accident. Fearing police intervention, and despite numerous setbacks along the way, Liam is nevertheless determined in his grand plan: to dispose of the bodies and to get home as soon as he can.'SkyDie’ is a disturbing short story with a dash of dark comedy thrown in. The reader sees Liam, an average backpacker; witness his friends’ gruesome fall from grace thanks to a horrific skydiving accident. Fearing prosecution for a series of petty offences committed whilst travelling, Liam declines to inform the emergency services and instead goes to great lengths to sort out the mess himself. Along the way on his ill-fated journey, Liam encounters a number of problems symptomatic of the average backpacker. A phone call from a worried parent, a small business masquerading as a tourist information point, constant stress over deposits - all have a part to play in making Liam’s life a little more difficult. However, the backpacker is determined in his grand plan: to dispose of the bodies and to get home as soon as he can. This parody of backpacker culture, with plenty of gore chucked in to keep things moving along, will make you both laugh and retch.

The necromancer returns for another adventure when he finds that the accidental death of his childhood friend and love might have been a deliberate murder. Mystery, magic, and humor continue in this installment of the necromancer's plight.Destiny. Can we avoid it, or are we doomed to be forever who we were meant to be? Funeral director and part time necromancer Sebastian Grimm seeks to end his life of loneliness by reuniting with his old, childhood friend, only to find her murdered. In order to find out who's responsible, Sebastian must resurrect his childhood friend and love. But can the necromancer still find happiness, or is it not his destiny?

Yes, there are zombies, even in Hawaii. A foolish, lonely writer learns this the hard way from a beautiful woman who claims to be a hunter of the living dead. (Note to self: Next time, when a stranger on the internet wants to see you, just say no.) A horror comedy novelette.Ryan warned that the things in the dead-end creek were in fact slimy, fetid, space alien freaks.And any kid dumb enough to approach their dark lair had better believe in the power of prayer. For underneath that calm surface of warm water and frog belly -waited sinister incarnate! Waited monster! Waited smelly! If that kid, so determined to make his way across, might step on some stones or some green fishy moss, or perchance he should slip and step into their sludge, then his boots, snared so tightly, would no longer budge. And no matter how hard that child strained, tugged or yanked, the Mud Gullumpers pulled harder and the boots slowly sank ‘til the child screamed in fear, and by clinging to rocks, freed his feet and ran home in his wet, soiled socks.

A classic madcap romp of a fantasy adventure from the author of The Scandalous Sisterhood of Prickwillow Place. Young dairymaid Begonia has lost her cow, Alfalfa. So she has set off on a search across the countryside even though she has nothing but a magical map to guide her. Along the way she meets a mother and baby, a woodcutter, a very dirty young man, and an eight-foot ostrich. Meanwhile, the Emperor has gone missing from the royal palace in a most mysterious manner. Was it murder? Was it magic? It will take all of Begonia’s wits to save the empire and get Alfalfa home safely.