In the land known as Terra Infirma (so-called due to its weak constitution), in the once vibrant city of Marasmus, the Trollian Conquest is complete and an authoritarian and oppressive regime holds sway. Religion is banned and the city's patron God, WACCHUS, finds Himself forcibly retired. He discovers that resurrection is only possible through the person of the Awakener. Unfortunately, the only bIn the land known as Terra Infirma (so-called due to its weak constitution), in the once vibrant city of Marasmus, the Trollian Conquest is complete and an authoritarian and oppressive regime holds sway. Religion is banned and the city's patron God, WACCHUS, finds Himself forcibly retired. He discovers that resurrection is only possible through the person of the Awakener. Unfortunately, the only being who remotely fits the bill is a drunken and world-weary dwarf called Anyx. Can Anyx really be the Awakener? And can he (with the assistance of, amongst others, an elephant, a down-on-his-luck leper, a bunch of half-crazed pirates and some blokes in tights) evade the clutches of the psychotic troll Granntt, and the demonic Theo De Ville, and save the day?

Spring, 1956. A fresh-faced young girl arrives at a station to pursue her destiny...Fiona Clay, a bewitching mixture of intelligence and stupidity, is about to meet her real mother for the first time. A moving coming-of age mini-novella (very very short book).Spring, 1956. A fresh-faced young girl arrives at a station to pursue her destiny...Fiona Clay, a bewitching mixture of intelligence and stupidity, is about to meet her real mother for the first time. She will experience love, heartbreak and Battenberg-induced nausea at the hands of the handsome Frederick DeNouh, who she must compete for with her cougarish mother. But Frederick has dark hidden secrets, and so, alas, do all the other characters in the book, who for some reason are all having affairs with each other. You are sure to cry with laughter. Disclaimer: If you do not cry with laughter, Mimi Yeats-Prhanaz claims no responsibility.

A fictional review of a fictional long poem about a professor who is the world's foremost expert on potatoes and how his search for the cause of bruised potatoes leads him to love in the potato patch and a new life.Everyone knows the history behind the Revolution for Martian Independence. This is the personal story behind the man who led Mars to become the first independent planet beyond Earth.Carl Ronad had gone to Earth to learn how his home-world might join the United Nations as an equal partner. On Earth he learned that the only true path to self-determination for Mars would be through complete independence for his people. A tragic accident involving Carl Ronad’s father, Jake Ronad, calls him home to Mars before graduating from George Washington University on Earth. On his journey home, Carl becomes the first man who sees one of the mysterious Pirate Fleet ships and lives to tell about it. Despite reporting this immediately to the ship’s captain, Carl has now raised the suspicions of the U.N. Interplanetary Investigations Unit (IIU). The IIU is the strong arm enforcer of the U.N. Security Council. The Security Council is keenly aware of the stirrings for revolution and will stop at nothing to hold onto their power-base.Carl arrives at his home on Mars only to find he is in time to see his father’s funeral. He meets his old love from his undergraduate days on Mars who had refused to go to Earth with him. Their five years apart have not dampened their feelings, but she is unwilling to forget that he seemingly ran away from her all of those years ago. Carl also meets a mysterious figure at his father’s wake who tells Carl that Jake Ronad’s fate was no accident, and that the IIU may be involved. Carl is unaware that this man is the secret leader of the Pirate Fleet and that his father had been working with him to build up a supply of arms for a Martian revolution. While Carl begins the search for the truth behind his father’s death, he is swept into the rising tide of revolution growing across the planet. He puts his five years of first hand observation on Earth to use by leading the revolutionaries in a plan to swiftly break free of the United Nations’ control of Mars.

"HIGHLY ENTERTAINING...SIT BACK IN THE BUBBLES AND ENJOY." --The Philadelphia Inquirer Brenda Kovner, a Washington columnist, advice dispenser, and amateur psychologist, doesn't consider herself intrusive, just extremely interested in helping. If she knows the answer, she can't shut up--even if no one's listening. Since Brenda knows what's best--for everyone--she secretly decides she must murder her son Wally's prospective father-in-law, before he can get to Wally. She has a foolproof plan. In fact, she has a million of them. But first she's got a few kinky desires of her own to satisfy (. "Viorst keeps us laughing....A serious look at family and cultural issues while still a farce, narrated by a needling Machiavellian who keeps winning us over." --San Francisco Chronicle "A wry look at the follies of superficial urbanites...Enjoy." --The Washington Post Book World "Acerbic and extremely funny...Done with the arch, sardonic flavor familiar to readers of Ms. Viorst." --The Baltimore Sun

Rachel Fortier, a thirty-something home design consultant, has had it with her fiancé. It's bad enough that he gave her a Thighmaster for Valentine's Day and a Butt Buster for her birthday, and that their seven-year engagement has no end in sight. But she just learned that he's had a vasectomy! Rachel packs up and heads south to meet her great-aunt Gizelle for the first time and take a few days to regroup. She imagines a Grandma Walton living in a picturesque house surrounded by wondrous nature. What she finds is a cabin on stilts deep in the bayous, with alligators and snakes the size of telephone poles. As for Aunt Gizelle, she's a former taxidermist who can outcreep Hannibal Lechter any day of the week. And if that isn't enough to make a girl turn around and head right back to her ex, Gizelle is feuding with a Cajun bad boy -Remy LeDeux, a helicopter pilot and Air Force vet whose face is scarred from battle. Rene wants to buy a piece of property from Gizelle, but the feisty senior makes it clear she wants nothing to do with any LeDeux. But the moment Remy sees Rachel getting out of a red truck, it's love at first sight for the long-time bachelor, despite all the turmoil she brings into his life, with her ideas of Feng Shui-ing his houseboat and her ex chasing after her, not to mention her great-aunt threatening to shoot his heinie. But getting Rachel to say "I do" is worth it. After all, he's never met a woman before who looks at him like he's a Whitmans Sampler box and she's a chocoholic.

Sam and Noel have had more than their share of mishaps since they met, and are starting to wonder if they might be jinxed around the holidays. But what could possibly go wrong during a beautiful celebration like Easter, when spring is in the air, eggs need to be colored, baskets have to be filled, and cute little bunny decorations need a home? With this family - EVERYTHING. Join Sam, Noel, Reggie, Bev, Scheva, Alex and everyone’s favorite Aunt Bobbie as the Holiday family hops into Easter in their usual, crazy fashion!

Remember, next time you get a job offer, to do a reality check before you accept.Anne Jones -- ordinary name of an ordinary person starting an ordinary office job. Was it her, or was every one of her colleagues completely insane? Was it her?

If you were a clone grown for spare parts, kept in a cage for experimentation, how would you feel? Accept your fate and be happy you're helping the 'real' person whose DNA you share? No; I didn't think so...Eighteen-year-old Sage Hannigan wants to get back to her own time, preferably one that hasn't been destroyed by an underworld plot brewing in Edwardian-era South Carolina. How hard can it be? All she has to do is: 1. Learn to use newly acquired warping skills to bend time to her will. 2. Take out a few rogue vampires. 3. Join an ancient secret society. 4. Figure out who is putting the time stream in jeopardy. 5. Find and maim whoever invented the corset. Sage never asked to be chosen by the Druid Priestess, Amerach, to become a Warper, and she never asked to have the future hanging on her shoulders or to warp a hundred years into the past. She certainly never asked to meet Dr. Aldwin Blake, who would make her question her desire to get back to her own time. But if she fails her mission, people will die, history will change, and the present she wishes to return to will be no more.

The 1950s was the perfect time to raise a family... it was also a period in which it was considered bad manners to talk about zombies. You just had to kill them and get on with your daily life.The 1950s was the perfect time to raise a family... it was also a period in which it was considered bad manners to talk about zombies. You just had to kill them and get on with your daily life.From the author of "How to date a corpse" and the "Zac Zombie" series comes a new zombie tale.

For the answers to many important questions, children should try this "story crammed with baffling word puzzles, a dozen zany characters, uproariously funny situations, and unmitigated slapstick."--The Horn Book. Illustrated.

Once again, Tim Diamond and his younger brother Nick are flat broke. So when they're hired to investigate an anonymous death threat made to world-famous pop singer and movie actress Minerva, they jump at the chance. However, the Greek celebrity seems to have plenty of enemies - so the question is, which one actually wants her dead?

An ancient alien probe is discovered drifting in deep space and is taken aboard the battleship, 'Temperance'. Although it poses no military threat, the offensive nature of the symbols etched on the craft's hull, might just be enough to provoke a war.99.9% of boys born in Oadford are destined to fish, farm or build. Stan Pike falls into the other 0.1%. Not all boys are born equal. Stan Pike is the son of a fisherman, who lives with his father and elder brother in the remote fishing village of Oadford, set beneath the ominous looking Mount Smouldotion, home to the terrifying dragon, Gordon the Gruesome. Gordon created mayhem for the townsfolk for decades, but has not been seen for nearly a hundred years. All this changes however, when Stan, his elder brother Edgar and his best friend Marvin enter Gordon's lair, and an unfortunate blunder from the kind hearted but dim witted Marvin awakens the dragon, resulting in the devastating destruction of Oadford..The only way to save Stan's town is to find the mystical Emerald of Foundation, a magical emerald with the ability to construct anything. Stan joins a quest of brave town folk in the hunt to find the Emerald, but they are not alone in seeking the prize. Gustavo, the evil wizard, leads a fierce goblin army to the Emerald's resting place, as he seeks it to ensure world domination.The resulting race for the Emerald results in betrayal, sacrifice, heart break, booby traps, mass battles and heart pounding encounters, and is not to be missed!

The earliest of the Samuel Marchbanks volumes, originally published in 1947, is available in e-book form for the first time. In 1942, two years after returning to Canada from Britain, Robertson Davies took up the role of editor of the Peterborough Examiner. During his tenure as editor at the Examiner, a post he held until 1955, and later as publisher of the newspaper (1955–65), Davies published witty, curmudgeonly, mischievous, and fiercely individualistic editorials under the name of his alter ego, Samuel Marchbanks, “one of the choice and master spirits of his age.” The Diary of Samuel Marchbanks is funny, delightful, and timeless in revealing one of the most entertaining periods in a Canadian literary giant’s career. 

Constable Paddington has a few problems: an evil beast is killing cows on his island; the elite military team who are supposed to capture this beast are threatening to shoot the duke; and there's a horde of philosophical zombies on the loose. And that's not even mentioning the vague, ancient prophecy about the end of the world...The end of the world starts with the death of a cow…Innocent enough, right? After all, cows die every day. Usually they’re not ripped apart by razor-sharp teeth, though. And most of the time they’re not devoured – fur, bones, and all – by a mythical creature.Still, Constable James Paddington always wanted a proper case rather than the usual bickerings of the island’s backwards inhabitants. Now he has one.Two, actually. There’s also Norman Winslow, aging bachelor extraordinaire, who hasn’t been since he documented his own zombification. So, two problems.Well, three, really. There’s also that vague, ancient prophecy about the end of the world that’s due to be fulfilled… ah, this Saturday. Is it that soon already?Yeah. It’s going to be a busy week…

The town of Poolington has its hands twice as full with two Superkids running around. Can its citizens discover the true superhero before twice the calamity befalls it?Former Special Ops Agent Brian Mitchell was living a quiet life as a Sheriff’s deputy with his wife and daughter, until the night he awakened to find himself kidnapped and his family held prisoner by a former enemy determined to settle an old vendetta. Trapped inside a remote castle in eastern Europe, Brian must use every bit of skill, experience, and animal instinct he possesses to survive a grim gauntlet of professional killers determined to make sure he doesn’t see the end of the longest night of the year alive!