neediness, 214–15, 221
needs, ignoring, 22
negative thoughts, 13–18
about body, 13, 31
new script exercise, 16–18
Nin, Anaïs, 110
9 Principles, see Principles
no and yes, saying, 255
nocebo effect, 16
No-Harm Rule, 228–29
Norman, Mildred Lisette, 39
Northrup, Christiane, 301
noticing and naming:
of actions, 275
of emotions, 70–72, 74, 91–92, 97, 99, 101, 117–18, 197
Novogratz, Jacqueline, 271
Nyirumbe, Sister Rosemary, 307
O
Obama, Michelle, xix
obsessive thinking, 95–96
Oliver, Mary, vii
Ono, Yoko, 2
P
Palmo, Jetsunma Tenzin, 204
Pankhurst, Christabel, xiii
parental leave, 302
Parks, Rosa, 131
past, 88–89, 124, 131
emotional archaeology exercise, 172–73
pausing, 197, 202, 205
indecision and, 199
uncertainty and, 200
peace, 40–41, 161, 181–206
inner circle and, 190–91
internal landscape and, 183
and living consciously and mindfully, 194–96
meditation and, see meditation
pausing and, see pausing
thinking and, 182–83
in wider world, 204–5
Peace Pilgrim, 39
people-pleasing, 72, 82
perfectionism, 53, 166, 227
action and, 286–87
persistence, 166
perspective, gaining, 269
physical activity, 28–29
thoughts and, 198
placebo effect, 16
plastic water bottles, 272
politics and government, xvii, 297, 301, 306–7
see also activism
pornography, 63
poverty, 298
practice, 166
prayer, 41, 261
answering of, 261–62
meditation and, 262
for someone else, 171
present, living in, 174–76
Principles, xiii, xvii–xviii, xx, xxii, 2–4, 49–291, 310–11
about, 50–54
commitment to, 53–54
egoic traits and, 169
manifesto and, 294
order and process of following, 51
see also acceptance; courage; honesty; humility; joy; kindness; love; peace; trust
prisons, 173–74
progress vs. perfection, 286–87
Q
Queen Latifah, 21
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (Cain), 182
Quindlen, Anna, 164
R
Radmacher, Mary Anne, 286
Raitt, Bonnie, 328
realistic, being, 22
reality, accepting, 91–92
relationships, 203, 207–42
appreciation in, 235
childhood and, 214–16, 231, 237
codependency and, 210–11
dating, see dating
ego and, 209
empathy in, 234–35
friendships, 212, 221, 254
harmful, 211, 237–39; see also abuse
honesty in, 225–26
intimacy dance in, 232
leaving, 238–39
listening in, 233–34
power struggle in, 231–32
template for, 214–16, 231, 237
see also love
religion, 257–59, 298, 328–30
see also spirituality
resentment, 116, 117, 131, 132, 170, 211, 297
anger and, 121, 123
expectations and, 130
releasing, 121–31
spiritual surgery for, 125–30
resources, 313–31
responsibility:
accepting, 90–91
for mental well-being, 205
for self-care, see self-care
trust and, 148–49
rest, 29–30, 177
day of, 191–92
Return to Love, A (Williamson), 11
Ricotti, Sonia, 189
right, being, 124, 132, 161, 170
rights, legal, 62
rightsizing, 176–78
risk assessment, 149
Robinson, Shivon, 248
Roddick, Anita, 288
Roosevelt, Eleanor, 268
Runbeck, Margaret Lee, 257
S
sacred, 39–40
safety, 39, 57, 58, 203
ego and, 158
worry and, 139
Salbi, Zainab, xxiii
Salzberg, Sharon, 41
Satrapi, Marjane, 138
Schaef, Anne Wilson, 313
Schlaffer, Edit, 50
Schutz, Susan Polis, 243
script, new, 16–18
Secret Life of Bees, The (Kidd), 55
self, 55–82
authentic, reconnecting with, 57–59
discarding ideas about yourself, 65–67
finding, 67–70
identifying buried truths, 73–74
inner girl, 75–77
losing, 56–57
loving and, 210–11
noticing and naming and, 70–72, 74
people-pleasing and, 72, 82
physical, see body
stories and, 110–16, 122
subpersonalities in, 58–59
trusting process of, 78–79
self-blame, 160, 161, 213
self-care, 2–3, 21–37, 74–75
appreciation, 30–31, 178
beauty and, 26, 32–33
befriending yourself, 22–23
exercise, 28–29, 177
food, 26–28, 177
Four Essentials to, 26–31, 177–78
rest, 29–30, 177
self-esteem, 139, 177, 238, 275
selflessness, 211
Seventh-day Adventist Church, 232
sex, 228–29
masturbation, 229–30
No-Harm Rule and, 228–29
shaking, 102
shame, 213
singing, 248
single by choice, 221
sleep, 29–30
social media, 60–61, 162–63, 185, 186
Solle, Dorothee, 278
spending, keeping track of, 281–82
spiritual gym, 166–69
spiritual hunger, 255–56
spirituality, xvii, 257, 328–30
open mind about, 262–63
spiritual surgery, 125–30
spiritual truth, 145, 165, 259
Steinem, Gloria, 305
stories, 110–16, 122, 170
identifying and rewriting, 111–14
Strayer, Cheryl, 83
stress, 102, 140
Substitution Rule, 146–47
support, 75, 119, 120
surrender, 84–88
see also acceptance
Suu Kyi, Aung San, 267
synchronicity, 201
T
Teresa of Ávila, Saint, 178
Teresa of Calcutta, Saint, 13
Tharpe, Sister Rosetta, 245
therapy, resources for, 317–19
Thomas, Katherine Woodward, 233
thoughts, thinking:
attack, 160–61, 200
doing vs., 51–52
ego and, 159–61
emotions and, 101, 159–60
fearful, see fear
intellectual stimulation and, 170
internal landscape and, 183
knowing and, 192
meditation and, 40, 42
movement and, 198
negative, substituting with positive, 147
negative bias in, 160
; obsessive, 95–96
about past and future, 174–76
peace and, 182–83
self-blame, 160, 161, 213
Three-Second Rule and, 144, 160–61, 176
see also messages we give ourselves
Three-Second Rule, 144, 160–61, 176
time, how you spend, 185
Toxic Cs, 163–65, 177
toxicity, releasing, 125–29
Trafford, Kate, 238
trauma:
inheritance of, 65
resources for, 316–17
trust, 135–56, 263
acronym for, 145, 165
choosing, over fear, 136, 141, 143, 155
inner girl and, 144
living proof of positive outcomes, 137, 201
mind map and, 142–43, 146
moving from fear to trust, exercise for, 151–53
new direction and, 143–44
in opposite of what you fear, 145–46
reprogramming exercise for, 142–43
resistance to, 149–50
responsibility and, 148–49
uncertainty and, 200
in wider world, 154–55
truth, 115, 233, 258
empathy and, 234–35
spiritual, 145, 165, 259
telling, 79–81
see also honesty
U
uncertainty, 200
Underhill, Evelyn, 246
understanding, 217–20
empathy, 234–35
United Nations, 300, 301, 307
University of California, 184, 277
V
Vagina Monologues, The (Ensler), 108
values, 165
Vangolen, Moni, 262
vengeance, 170, 171
victims, 84, 97, 106, 110, 121, 124, 127–29, 149, 211
Viorst, Judith, 56
von Furstenberg, Diane, 37
W
wabi-sabi, 304
Walker, Alice, 8
water bottles, 272
Watson, Emma, 271
wealth, 298, 300
WE communities, 330–31
weight, 26, 27, 29
Weil, Simone, xvii
what-ifs, 148
White, Ellen G., 232
Whitman, Joy, 239
Wild (Strayer), 83
Williams, Serena, 176
Williamson, Marianne, 11
Winfrey, Oprah, 184
Winterson, Jeanette, 92
wishing the best for someone, 171
Wolf, Naomi, 32
women:
equality for, 62, 301–6
new paradigm and, 305–6
work of, 301–3, 305
women’s organizations, 319–21
Women Without Borders, 50
Woolf, Virginia, 308
Work, The, 225
working women, 301–3, 305
world issues, 297–308
resources for, 322–23
worry, 139
see also fear
X
Xue Xinran, 92
Y
yes and no, saying, 255
yoga, 324–26
Yousafzai, Malala, 303
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