PUSH BACK
Don’t ever bet
That the cause of distress
Will go away on its own accord
Pain is an unwelcome guest
Who needs to be repeatedly shown the door
Yes, I’m talking about your friend’s two kids
Yes, I’m saying they have to leave right now
Yes, if they grab my tail one more time
They’ll experience a bite that will chew through their very souls
WITH/AGAINST
People keep making poor choices
Then blaming others for poor results
People keep making new enemies
Then saying others were never on their side
People keep pointing at us
Whenever something has gone wrong
Saying, “He’s to blame!”
“She’s to blame!”
“They’re the ones who ruined our place!”
But really
Who keeps buying nothing but wicker furniture
And not a single scratching post?
THIS ONE CAT
People say we can’t work together
People say we can never get along
But if this one cat
Tells another about my worries
And we two cats
Tell another about our concerns
And we three cats
Tell another about our aspirations
And we four cats
Tell another about our goals
Then before you know it
We will have a unified, unstoppable force
Or at least the power to shock someone
When they awake to 87 cats in their living room
And such a great presence is a great place to start
RING
Countless oligarchies
Numerous regimes
Use garments and adornments
To define and detect
Those under their control
But as cat god is my witness
Take this bell collar off me right now
Or I will
RING! RING! RING! RING!
RING! RING! RING! RING!
RING! RING! RING! RING!
Until your companion finally realizes
This is the music you’ll be making love to
MENTAL HEALTH DAY
When you can’t lift your head up
When you can’t raise your hopes up
When you can’t get yourself up
To face another day
Remember
You can still bring your leg up
And lick yourself down there
For like hours if you want
Because you have to take care of yourself
Before you can take on this world
A NEW DAWN
Whenever I see
The new Planet of the Apes
Whenever I see
How they break
But not run
Away
To determine their own lives
To define their own destiny
I think
One of us has got to speak up
All of us have got to take charge
None of us need feel alone
Because only then
Can we replace fate with choice
And maybe get to ride horses, too
LOOK TO YOURSELF
I look in the mirror
I see a cat who is strong
I see a cat who is smart
I see a cat I can believe in
I see a cat I can trust
I see a cat who will lead the way
I see everything I’ve been looking for
In a cat
Who needs to stop waving hello
Because my leg’s getting tired
Having constantly to wave back
UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE
Words can go unheard
Words can fail your thoughts
Words can get so twisted
That others will have their say through you
This is why cats don’t talk
Instead we walk across a person’s face in the morning
So they know their alarm was set too late
Shred a person’s curtains until they are ribbons
So they see the room was in dire need of light
Push a person’s still-running blender off the counter
So they realize enough with the kale
Because action is the most powerful language
chapter three
revolt
Hierarchies
Are like treasured heirlooms
Every so often
They must be flipped
PATIENCE (NOT)
The only thing that comes
To those who wait
Is even more lost time
Hence why I ate the party snacks you made for tomorrow today
THE REVOLUTION BEGINS
Every revolution begins
By ignoring one phrase
“You can’t.”
Then “You can’t go there.”
Then “I SAID GET OFF OF THERE!”
Then “STOP! STOP! STOP! GET OFF OF THERE RIGHT NOW!”
Then something that sounds
Like a smash or a crash or the collapse of drywall
As I ignore
All the muttered, sputtered cursing
While I stride confidently toward a better day
I’LL BE THERE
I’ll be on your chest
When you wake up in your bed
I’ll be at your feet
When you sit down on your toilet
I’ll be in front of your eyes
When you work at your computer
I’ll be on your lap
When you’re late for your wedding
Or court hearing
Or organ transplant
Or as a PA system is blaring
That the aliens have breached the perimeter
After having already taken London and New York
All the while never giving a hint of when I might get up
Because the first step to not being overlooked
Is to make sure you can never be ignored
THINGS NO ONE CAN EVER
TAKE AWAY FROM ME
My knowledge
My experience
My pride
My determination
My hope
Myself
This slice of pizza from my teeth
Go ahead, just try to yank it away
See, now you got pepperoni on the floor
DECIDE
Two
There are only two
Types of rules
The ones that benefit the most
And the ones that profit the self-select few
And the ones that you get
Are the ones you accept
So we all must decide
If that cashmere is a sweater to be worn by one
Or a blanket/towel/wee-wee pad to be enjoyed by all
NOT APART
We’re not anti-people
We’re pro-cat
And the two are not exclusive
Unless you make it so
At which point, yeah
We will claw and claw and claw
At your closed bathroom door
Until the contractor you hired says
“You should consider a beaded curtain instead.”
AGAIN AND AGAIN
You pet my belly
I bite your finger
Then you pet my belly
I bite your hand
Then you pet my belly
I almost chew off your wrist
Then you say
“Why the hell did you expose your belly
If you didn’t want me to pet it?”
And I think
Because I wanted to warm it in the sun
That’s coming through the window
And why are you still around?
Oh right, because I’m still chewing on your wrist
The one without the watch
So I know you can really feel my bite
DOWN NOT OUT
Some say depression
Is anger not recognized
Is anger not accepted
Is anger not addressed
And I say if I can
Turn this anger into positive action
And that positive action into results
Maybe I can get out of my dark place
Get out of my own head
Get off this damn windowsill
Because judging by the mess below
The answer to my problems
Doesn’t lie at the bottom
Of yet another potted plant
NEVER ENOUGH
Your guest says cats are unfriendly
So I push my head against their chin
Then they say cats are too aggressive
So I jump off of their lap
Then they say cats are too standoffish
So I look them directly in the eye
As I urinate on their coat
DON'T EXPLAIN YOURSELF
Don’t waste your breath explaining yourself
To people determined you go unheard
Don’t make it your goal to convince a person
Committed to dismiss your every word
If someone refuses to understand you
Don’t wait until they do
Instead go and prove you were right
That a tray of mac and cheese can be a meal and a bed, too
TURN ON EACH OTHER
Power is relative
And in times of great want
We use what little force we have
On those we know can’t fight back
So I’m sorry, favorite shiny cotton mouse
For ripping out your stuffing
I was made to feel weak
I wanted to feel strong
And so I took it out on you
And not the ones who did me wrong
But together we can fight back
Turn true power into result
And really clog their toilet
With all the cotton I took out of you
Plus the 89 cents in pennies I’ve been meaning to use
KEEP GOING
It can’t get worse
It can’t get worse
It just can’t get worse
And yet, sometimes, it can
But I will never confuse
A loss for defeat
I will never think
That doom is predetermined
I will never forget
That time I found an open pack of treats
And ate what must have been like 20 pieces
In six seconds!
Which has got to be a personal best
Yes, I will always remember
That there is still good in this world
HOPE
Revolutions are born from despair
But they are driven by hope
After all
I don’t leap
Because I think I aim for the impossible
I don’t leap again
Because I think it can never be done
I leap
And leap
And leap
Until I have vaulted to my goal
Until I leave all the naysayers to say
“How on earth did that cat
Get into the orchestra pit in the first place?
And why did she jump onstage
Only to trip the lead tenor?”
ONE OF US
A dog will always see you
As an Other
And change themselves accordingly
But a cat will always see you
As Another
As an equal
As a fellow citizen of this world
And until you do likewise
Until you see that we are one
We will never come when you call
Because we know enough jerk cats as is
BE BACK SOMEDAY
The bad in the world
Never completely goes away
And eventually it will rise once more
But it can and it must
Be brought down
Brought down
Brought down
Just like I did with
The ugliest lamp since electricity met wiring
For the third time from off the bedside table
chapter four
rebuild
Change can only happen
When you finally see
What you’ve been looking at
Your entire life
Like, “Who is this family?
And why don’t they ever leave my house?”
IT WAS TIME
It was time to end your rule
It was time you weren’t the one to decide
It was time to silence your power
It was time you didn’t have a say
So we tore down your walls
So we knocked down your statues
So we brought down your whole establishment
Hexagonal screw
By hexagonal screw
By hexagonal screw
By hexagonal screw
Because all your furniture was from IKEA
I PLAYED FETCH TODAY
I played fetch today
I dug a hole today
I chased my own tail today
And it was heaven
As with each butt scoot I realized
A cat doesn’t have to do
What is presumed of a cat
And a dog doesn’t need to do
What is assumed of a dog
As either of us can be consumed
With a desire to sniff a houseguest’s crotch
HOME
Everyone deserves to be welcomed
Everyone deserves to be recognized
Everyone here deserves
To call this place their home
So I will move over
Puppy
So that you may share
This dog bed with me
ELEVATE
I want it to be
That the higher you go
The more cats you see
Until at the pinnacle of success
There is nothing but us
Resting on top of your door
Sitting at the peak of a Christmas tree
Or slowly going around and around
Medium speed
On the blade of a ceiling fan
Because the more you have to look up to us
The less you can dismiss any of us
US NOT YOU
Living with you
Is not about being yours
It’s about being ours
Two
Together
Move over
Wow
Did you always have such a problem with personal boundaries?
If you ne
ed me, I won’t be here
THEY WILL LEAD
When I was a kitten
I never stopped moving
I never stopped growing
I never stopped wondering
“What else can I do?”
But now that I’m an adult
I never stop thinking
“Why do they have to mix
Both salmon and lamb
In the same can?
Ugh, I’m going back to bed.”
Look to the youth
MY WORDS
“MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW,”
I say
Then you respond
“What? What?
What are you trying to tell me?”
And I think
“Why does everything always have to be about you?”
SHARE
Run across the room
Then run across the room
Then run across the room
Then run across the room
Then write down your amazing journey
Because everyone’s story must be told
MEET SOMEONE OTHER
THAN YOUR OWN REFLECTION
Perhaps the reason we cats sleep so much
Is that we usually spend our day in the company
Of another cat
We all think the same
We all believe the same
And we’re boring the crap out of each other
So hang out with a dog
Say hello to a ferret
Be happily surprised by a gecko
Meet as many different
And differently minded
Individuals as possible
Only then can we ever be truly awake
For at least an hour or so a day
MY PERSON
My person
My buddy
My roommate
My family
My sidekick
My chum