Terysaidnothing;hejustsatonachairtowaitforbreakfast.
***
Afterbreakfast“Mama”senthimbacktohisroom.“Whataboutyou?”he asked.
“Ihavetowork.”Fromthepreviousday,hehadagoodideawhather
“work”entailed.Howmanymoreboyswouldsheserviceinherchamber today?Bytheendofthedaywouldhehaveadozensisters?
Hedidn’tputupafussbeforehewentbacktothebedroom.Therewere plentyofthingsforalittlegirltodointhere:readthelibraryofpicturebooks, playwiththedolls,ordrawwiththewaxsticksandpaper.Withasighhesettled ontothebedandcrossedhisarmsoverhischest.Theywantedhimtoactlikea girl;well,thehellwiththat.He’drathersithereandcountdimplesintheceiling thanplaywithanydolls.
Eventuallyhefellasleepagain.Againhewoketothewomansaying,
“Wakeup,sleepyhead.It’stimeforlunch.”
“Oh.Fine.”
Shehelpedhimsitupandthentousledhishair.“Whathaveyougottenup totoday,sweetheart?”
“Nothing.”
“I’msorry,sweetie.Iknowyou’dlikesomefriendstoplaywith.Ipromise whenwe’vegotenoughmoney—”
“Idon’tcare!Justleavemealone.”Hemarchedofftothekitchen,where thewomanhadpreparedbowlsofsoupandaplateofsandwiches.Hehelped himselftoabowlandasandwichbeforehesettledontohischair.
Astheyate,thewomanrelatedgossipaboutpeoplehedidn’tknowin townshe’dneverheardof.Oncehegottothebottomofhisbowl,helookedup atthewoman.“CanIbeexcused?”
“Ofcourseyoucan,sweetheart.Justputyourdishesinthesink.”
“Yes,ma’am.”Hedepositedthebowlandplateintothesinkandthen shambledbacktothebedroom,wherehesatonthebedtostareathislittle saddleshoes.It’snotfair,hemused.Thissucks.
Therestofthedaywentthesameway.Helayonthebeduntilthewoman fetchedhimforadinnerofstew.Shetalkedwhileheate.“CanIbeexcused?”
heaskedoncehefinished.
“Isuppose.”
Hewentbacktothebedroomtositonthebedagain.Thewomancame intotheroomafewminuteslater.Shesatdownnexttohimandputanarmover hisshoulders.“What’swrong,sweetie?”
“Youwouldn’tbelieveme.”
“OfcourseIwould.I’myourmother.”
“Noyou’renot!You’renotmymotherandI’mnotagirlandI’mnotseven yearsold!”
“Wellno,you’renotseven.You’reonly five.”Rightoncuehisbody shrunkuntilhissaddleshoeswereupinsidetheskirtofhisdress.
“No!It’snotfair!”
“Whatisn’tfair?”
“Iwasn’tfive.Iwasseven.”
“Now,sweetheart,don’tbesilly.Yourbirthdaywasjusttwomonthsago.
Remember?”
Helookedupatherandhiseyesnarrowed.“It’syou!You’redoingthis!”
“Doingwhat?”
“Changingme.Wellyoucanmakemeaslittleasyouwant,butitwon’t work!”
“Sweetheart—”
Hehoppedoffthebedandthenstormedintothebathroom.Heslammed thedoorbehindhimandlockedit.Thewomantappedonthedoor.
“Sweetheart,please,openthedoor.”
“No!”
“Noyouwon’t!”
Heheardhersigh.Shesaid,“I’msorry,sweetie.I’msorryforeverything that’shappened.Justopenthedoor,please.”
“No!”
“Allright.”Hewaitedforhertobreakthedooropenorperhapstomakeit disappear.Shedidn’t.Insteadshesaid,“I’llbebacklater.”
Hewaitedtoseeifitwasatrick,butwhenhefinallypokedhisheadouta fewminuteslater,shewasgone.Hetoddledovertothebedroomdoorand lockedit.Thenhesunkontohisbedtocry.
***
Terycouldn’tsleep.“Mama”hadtuckedhimintwohoursago.Shehad forcedhimtoputonanightgown,takeouttheribbonsinhishair,andthenbrush histeeth.ThenshehadledTerybacktobed,pressedastuffedbearintohis hands,andpulledupthecoverstohischin.Shetookabookofftheshelfand readittoTery.Hepretendeditputhimtosleep,butithadn’t.Withhiseyes closed,hefeltherbrushhairfromTery’sforeheadtokisshimthere.
“Goodnight,sweetheart,”shewhispered.
Andthenshewasgoneandhewasleftaloneinthedark.Heknewitwas stupidtobeafraidofthedark.Hewasn’tfiveyearsold.Hewasagrownman, oldenoughtoknowtherewasn’tanythingtherethathadn’tbeenthereinthe light.Yeteverytimeheheardeventheslightestnoise,heshivered.
Afterthreehourshebegantocry.Hedidn’twanttobehere.Hedidn’t wanttobealittlegirl.Hewantedtobebigagain.Hewantedtogohome.
Acrashcamefromthecloset.Thatwasit.Terysprangfromthebed.With thestuffedbeardraggingbehindhim,heracedtothedoor.Hefumbledwiththe knob,buthecouldn’tgetitopen.Hebangedonthedoorfrantically.“Mama!
Mama!”hescreamedashesobbed.Hecollapsedtothefloorandcurledintoa heap,preparingforthemonstertoeathim.
Whensomethingtouchedhim,hescreamed.ThenheheardMama’svoice say,“It’sallright,sweetheart.”Thelightcameon.Mamapickedhimupand liftedhimuntilhecouldresthisheadonhershoulder.Hethrewhisarmsaround herneck.
“Iheardamonster,Mama,”hemumbledintoherneck.
“It’sallright,”shesaidagain.“Mamaishere.”
Afteraminute,Teryasked,“Mama?”
“Yes?”
“CanIsleepwithyoutonight?”
“Sureyoucan,sweetie.”
ShecarriedTerydownthehalltoherbedroom.ShesetTerydowngently ononeside.TerywaiteduntilMamalaiddownherselfbeforehecrawledover toherandputhisarmsaroundherneckagain.“Iwuvyou,Mama.”
“Iloveyoutoo,sweetie.”
Mamadidn’tturnoutthelighttomakesurenomonsterscouldgetthem.
***
“Riseandshine,children!”avoicesungout.Teriopenedhereyesand blinked.Somethingwaswrong.WherewasMama?Shefeltsomethingwarm inherhands,butsoonrealizeditwasonlyadollthathadMama’slongblack hairandworeawhitedresslikeshedid.
ShesatupandsawnotMama’sbigbed,butabunkthatwashardlybig enoughforher.Shelookedaroundandsawtwolinesofothergirlslikeher.
Theyallworenightgownslikeshedidandclutcheddollslikeshedid.She didn’tunderstand.Howhadshegothere?WherewasMama?
Terijumpedoutofbed.Thefloorwascoldagainstherbarefeet,butshe didn’tcare.Sheranasfastasshecould,untilshecollidedintothekneeofan oldwoman.TheoldwomanglareddownatTeri.“Wheredoyouthinkyou’re going,younglady?”
“IhavetofindMama!”
“Nonsense.Yourmotherisn’there.”
“Shewastoo!WastnightIwasscaredandshewetmesweepinherbed.”
“You’vebeenhereforayearnow.GetbacktoyourbedbeforeIthrashyou forfibbing.”
“Butit’stwue!”Teritriedtorunagain,butthemeanoldladyseizedherby thebackofhernightgown.“Wemmego!”
Theoldladydraggedherbacktothebedshehadwokeupin.Theoldlady satdownandthenliftedTeriintotheair.ShebentTerioverherknee.“No!I’m notwying!”Terishoutedamomentbeforetheoldlady’shandhitherfanny.
TearscametoTeri’seyesastheoldladyhitheragainandagain.WhileTeri screamedwithpain,theothergirlsstaredatherinhorror.
“I’msowwy!I’msowwy!”Terishouted.“Ididn’tmeantowie!”
edhittingher.SherolledTeriovertofaceher.“Now,I expectwewon’thaveanymoreofthisnonsense.Yougoandgetreadywiththe others.”
“Yes,ma’am.”Teridroppedherdollyontothebedandthentrudgedafter theothersintothebathroom.Shehadtotakeabathwithalittleredheadedgirl shedidn’tknow.Theydidn’tsayanythingastheywashedup.
Anoldladyhelpedthemtotoweloffandthentheyhadtowaitforherto combtheirhair.Teri’shairseemedlongerandmoretangledthanshe rememberedfrombeforeshe’dgonetosleep.Shelookedaroundandtriedto figureoutwhathadhappened.Mamawasreal,Teriknewit.Shehadn’tlied.
Thecombhurtmorethanthepaddlingofherfanny.Bythetimetheold ladyfinishedwithher,Teri’stearshadbecomedrysobs.Theoldladypattedher longhair.“Gobacktoyourbunkandgetdressed.”
Onthebunkshefoundawhitesailortopandadarkgreenskirt.She fumbledwiththesewithhandsthatseemedsmallerandpudgierthanshe remembered.Againshewonderedwhathadhappenedtoher.
Shemanagedtogetherclotheson,thoughonceshefinished,thegirlsnext tohergiggled.“Whyowyouwaughing?”shedemanded.
“Thetopisbackwards,”theredheadedgirlsaid.
Teri’sfaceturnedwarm.Shetookofftheshirtandthenturneditaround.
Withtheshirtthusputoncorrectly,shefollowedtheothergirlsintothehall.
Themomentshegotthroughthedoorway,ahandtouchedhershoulder.She squealedinsurprise.
Shesquealedagaintoseeamanstandingthere.Heworeablacksuitand hadablackbeardandscaryblackeyes.Hesmileddownonher.“Hello,Teri.
Couldwetalkforamoment?”
“Yes,sir,”shesaid.Shedoubtedshehadanychoice.Heledherdowna hallway,intoanoffice.Hehelpedherontoaplasticchairacrossfromhisdesk.
“NannyJenetoldmewhathappenedthismorning.Shesaidyouwanted yourmama.”
“Ididn’twie.Isweptinherbedwastnight.IknowIdid!”
Themansatdownbehindhisdeskandthenleanedforward.She whimperedashesmiledather.“I’msureyoubelievethat,sweetheart,butit isn’ttrue.Yourmamadiedwhenyouwerejustalittlebaby.”
“Didnot!”
“I’msureyoumissherverymuch.That’swhyyoudreamedofher.”
“It’snotadweam!”
“Ofcourseitwas.Tellme:whatdidyourmamalooklike?”Teri describedMamaasbestshecould.Ashelistened,themannodded.Thenhe heldupherdolly.“So,shelookedalotlikeyourdolly,didn’tshe?”
“Yes,”Terimumbled.
“Well,then,Ithinkit’sobvious:youwereholdingyourdollyandthought itwasyourmama.”
“But—”
“Iknowyou’refeelingalone,Teri.Ithasn’tbeeneasyonyou.That’swhy I’mgladtohavesomegoodnewsforyou.”
“Whatgoodnews?”
“Wefoundyoursister.She’sgoingtobehereinjustafewdays.”
“Mysister?”
“Yes.Yourtwinsister:Sheri.Doyourememberher?”
“No,”Teriadmitted.
“I’mnotsurprised.Afteryourmamadied,youwereseparated.She’sbeen
inanotherschoolfarawayfromhere,butImanagedtofindherforyou.Now youcanbetogether.”
Teristaredathimforamoment.Asister.Shecouldn’tbelieveit.Andyet, maybethat’swhyshehaddreamedofMamalastnight.MaybeMamahad wantedtotellhershewasn’talone.
Terijumpeduponherchair.Shemanagedtocrawlontotheman’sdesk andkisshischeek.“Tankyou,”shesaid.
“It’smypleasure,younglady.”Hepickedherupfromthedesk.“Now, let’sgetyoutoclass.”
Chapter8
Jeriwasalonenow.Ithadbeenadaysincethey’dtakenTeryfromthe cell.Bynowshefiguredhewouldn’tcomeback.Shedidn’thaveanyideawhat they’ddonetoSheriorTery,butsinceneitherhadreturned,shecouldimagine whathadbecomeofthem.
Jericurleduponherbunkasbestshecould;itwasdifficultwithhercurrent bulk.Shestaredatherreflectioninthemirror.Tothinkshewasgoingtodie likethis,asarotundseven-year-oldgeek.Itwasn’tfair.Shedidn’tdeserve this.Thoughsheimaginedhermotherwouldfeeldifferently.Motherwould probablysayshedeservedthisforrejectingthelifeshehadplannedinorderto jointheSpaceCorps.IfJerihadstayedhome,shecouldbesafeonherown estaterightnow,notinthiscell.
“I’msorry,Mama,”shemumbled.“Ishouldn’thaveleft.”
Sheclosedhereyes.Shewantedtofallasleep.Sleepwastheonlyrefuge shehadleft.Inherdreamsshecouldstillbethinandpretty;shecouldrun throughameadoworalongabeachandnotbecomedrenchedinsweataftertwo meters.
Whensleepdidn’tcome,sherolledoveronherbunk.Thescreechofthe bunkechoedthroughthecell.Thisbroughttearstohereyes.Sheremembered whenshehadbeenabletoglidethroughthehousebeforeMotherwokeup.She hadheldVal’shandinhersafewtimesasshedidthis,inordertosneakValout ofthehousebeforeMotherfoundout.Shecouldn’tpossiblyglidethrougha houselikethatnow.
Toaddtohermisery,thedooropened.Thebunkscreechedagainasshe rolledoverandthensatup.Shesmoothedherdressagainsthergutandthen pattedherhairtoappeardignifiedbeforetheirjailor.“You’vecomeforme now?Isupposeit’stimeformy‘test.’”
“I’mafraidso,younglady.”Hecuppedherchininhishandandshookhis head.“It’ssuchawaste.Youweresoprettyandnowlookatyou.”
“Ifyou’regoingtokillme,thenjustdoitalready.Youdon’tneedtoinsult mefirst.”
“We’renotgoingtokillyou,sweetheart.”
“Thenwhatareyougoingtodo?”
“We’regoingtomakeyouseethelight.”
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
“You’llsee.”Hewinkedather.Thenheseizedoneofherchubbyhands.
Hedidn’thavetostrainhimselftoliftherbulkfromthebunk.Shedidn’t
struggleagainsthim.Therewasnopointtoit.Inbasictrainingtheysaidto nevergivein,tofighttotheend,butshewasarealist.Therewasnowayshe couldbreakhisgrip,notlikethis.Shewouldjusthavetofindoutwhatsortof testhehadinstoreforher.
Heledherintoasilvercorridor.Itwaspossiblethereweremanyother cellscontainingmanyotherpeople.PerhapsSheriandTeryhadbeentransferred toothercells.Therewasnowaytotell,notthroughthesolidwalls.
Themanhustledhertotheendofthecorridor.Bythetimetheyreached this,sweathadbrokenoutonherforeheadandherbreathcameingasps.The wallopened.Themanmotionedtotheopening.“Outyougo.”
“Youaren’tgoingwithme?”
“I’mafraidnot.Thisisyourtest.Goodluck,younglady.”
Hegaveherapushthroughtheopening.Shestumbledforwardtolandon herknees.Theworldaroundherbecameblurry.Shecouldn’tseemorethan fivecentimetersinfrontofher.Shecouldhearpeoplearoundherandseeblurry shapespassbyher.Noonestoppedtohelpherup,butsheheardafewsnickers.
Jeriflailedaroundtofindherglasses.Allshecouldfeelwasthecooltileof thefloorandbooks.Books?Shegraspedoneofthebooksandthenhelditupto herfaceuntilitwascloseenoughtoseethetitle: 1001CulinaryDelights.A cookbook?
Sheheardsomethingscrapeacrossthefloortohitherelbow.Shetouched itandrealizeditwasapairofglasses.Assheheldthemup,shesawtheywere differentthantheonesshehadbeenwearing;theframesforthesewereshaped likecat’seyes.Shepressedthemtoherfaceandtheworldcameintofocus.
Shewasinaschool.Thatmuchwasobviousfromthemetallockersalong thewalls.Fromthepacksofteenagerswhowalkeddownthehallway,she figured
itwasahighschool.Whywasshehere?
Shelookeddownatherselfandsawshe’dgottenolder.Mercifullyshe’d gottenthinneraswell.Hergold-coloredsweaterandmustard-coloreddress huggedaflatmidsection.Herchestwasalmostasflat,withonlyapairofnubs.
Shetastedsomethingmetallicinhermouthandwithhertonguefeltasetof braces.Shemustbeateenageragain.
Besidesthecookbook,shesawthreeotherbooksonthefloor.Shegathered theseupandthenstoodup,relievedbyhowlittleeffortittook.Withthebooks pressedtoherflatchest,shehurrieddownthehalltofindthebathroom.
Asshewalkeddownthehallway,shehadtodartfromonesideofthe hallwaytotheothertoavoidbeingrunoverbythegroupsofotherkids.Noone seemedtonoticeher,asifshewereaghost.Shemanagedtoavoidbeing knockeddownorlosingherbooksforasecondtime.Shedartedintothe
bathroom,justintimetoalmostplowintoanothergirl.“Watchwhereyou’re going,geek,”theothergirlsnapped.
“Sorry,”Jerisaid,hervoicealmostawhisper.
Shesetherbooksdownontheedgeofasinkandthenlookedintoamirror.
Shebarelyheldbackascream.Asthegirlhadsaid,shewasstillageek.While notenormouslyfatanymore,shehadbecometheplainest,homeliestgirl possible.Notonlydidshehaveglassesandbraces,butherskinwasdeathly paleanddottedwithfrecklesandpimples.Herhairwasadullwhite-blondand partedunfashionablyinthecentertohangdownlimplytoherwaist.Evenher eyeshadturnedtoapalebluethatwasnearlycolorless.Shecouldn’tblame peopleiftheydidn’tseeher;shedidlooklikeaghost.
Shelungedintoastallandslammedthedoorshut.Shetookafewdeep breathsandthentookoffherglassestomassagehereyes.Thiswasapparently theirtest.Herlasttimeinhighschoolshehadbeentheprettiestandmost populargirlinschool;thistimeshewouldbetheopposite.
Butwhatwasthepoint?Whybothertorturingherlikethis?Whatdidthey wantfromher?Themanhadsaidtheywantedhertoseethelight.Thelightof what?ShesighedandwonderedwhattesttheyhadarrangedforSheriandTery.
Weretheyheresomewhere?Iftheywere,wouldshebeabletorecognizethem?