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    American Notes for General Circulation

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      little bowers, sketched by a masterly hand, in the highly varnished

      lithographic plan hanging up in the agent's counting-house in the

      city of London: that this room of state, in short, could be

      anything but a pleasant fiction and cheerful jest of the captain's,

      invented and put in practice for the better relish and enjoyment of

      the real state-room presently to be disclosed:- these were truths

      which I really could not, for the moment, bring my mind at all to

      bear upon or comprehend. And I sat down upon a kind of horsehair

      slab, or perch, of which there were two within; and looked, without

      any expression of countenance whatever, at some friends who had

      come on board with us, and who were crushing their faces into all

      manner of shapes by endeavouring to squeeze them through the small

      doorway.

      We had experienced a pretty smart shock before coming below, which,

      but that we were the most sanguine people living, might have

      prepared us for the worst. The imaginative artist to whom I have

      already made allusion, has depicted in the same great work, a

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      Dickens, Charles - American Notes for General Circulation

      chamber of almost interminable perspective, furnished, as Mr.

      Robins would say, in a style of more than Eastern splendour, and

      filled (but not inconveniently so) with groups of ladies and

      gentlemen, in the very highest state of enjoyment and vivacity.

      Before descending into the bowels of the ship, we had passed from

      the deck into a long narrow apartment, not unlike a gigantic hearse

      with windows in the sides; having at the upper end a melancholy

      stove, at which three or four chilly stewards were warming their

      hands; while on either side, extending down its whole dreary

      length, was a long, long table, over each of which a rack, fixed to

      the low roof, and stuck full of drinking-glasses and cruet-stands,

      hinted dismally at rolling seas and heavy weather. I had not at

      that time seen the ideal presentment of this chamber which has

      since gratified me so much, but I observed that one of our friends

      who had made the arrangements for our voyage, turned pale on

      entering, retreated on the friend behind him., smote his forehead

      involuntarily, and said below his breath, 'Impossible! it cannot

      be!' or words to that effect. He recovered himself however by a

      great effort, and after a preparatory cough or two, cried, with a

      ghastly smile which is still before me, looking at the same time

      round the walls, 'Ha! the breakfast-room, steward - eh?' We all

      foresaw what the answer must be: we knew the agony he suffered.

      He had often spoken of THE SALOON; had taken in and lived upon the

      pictorial idea; had usually given us to understand, at home, that

      to form a just conception of it, it would be necessary to multiply

      the size and furniture of an ordinary drawing-room by seven, and

      then fall short of the reality. When the man in reply avowed the

      truth; the blunt, remorseless, naked truth; 'This is the saloon,

      sir' - he actually reeled beneath the blow.

      In persons who were so soon to part, and interpose between their

      else daily communication the formidable barrier of many thousand

      miles of stormy space, and who were for that reason anxious to cast

      no other cloud, not even the passing shadow of a moment's

      disappointment or discomfiture, upon the short interval of happy

      companionship that yet remained to them - in persons so situated,

      the natural transition from these first surprises was obviously

      into peals of hearty laughter, and I can report that I, for one,

      being still seated upon the slab or perch before mentioned, roared

      outright until the vessel rang again. Thus, in less than two

      minutes after coming upon it for the first time, we all by common

      consent agreed that this state-room was the pleasantest and most

      facetious and capital contrivance possible; and that to have had it

      one inch larger, would have been quite a disagreeable and

      deplorable state of things. And with this; and with showing how, -

      by very nearly closing the door, and twining in and out like

      serpents, and by counting the little washing slab as standing-room,

      - we could manage to insinuate four people into it, all at one

      time; and entreating each other to observe how very airy it was (in

      dock), and how there was a beautiful port-hole which could be kept

      open all day (weather permitting), and how there was quite a large

      bull's-eye just over the looking-glass which would render shaving a

      perfectly easy and delightful process (when the ship didn't roll

      too much); we arrived, at last, at the unanimous conclusion that it

      was rather spacious than otherwise: though I do verily believe

      that, deducting the two berths, one above the other, than which

      nothing smaller for sleeping in was ever made except coffins, it

      was no bigger than one of those hackney cabriolets which have the

      door behind, and shoot their fares out, like sacks of coals, upon

      the pavement.

      Having settled this point to the perfect satisfaction of all

      parties, concerned and unconcerned, we sat down round the fire in

      the ladies' cabin - just to try the effect. It was rather dark,

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      Dickens, Charles - American Notes for General Circulation

      certainly; but somebody said, 'of course it would be light, at

      sea,' a proposition to which we all assented; echoing 'of course,

      of course;' though it would be exceedingly difficult to say why we

      thought so. I remember, too, when we had discovered and exhausted

      another topic of consolation in the circumstance of this ladies'

      cabin adjoining our state-room, and the consequently immense

      feasibility of sitting there at all times and seasons, and had

      fallen into a momentary silence, leaning our faces on our hands and

      looking at the fire, one of our party said, with the solemn air of

      a man who had made a discovery, 'What a relish mulled claret will

      have down here!' which appeared to strike us all most forcibly; as

      though there were something spicy and high-flavoured in cabins,

      which essentially improved that composition, and rendered it quite

      incapable of perfection anywhere else.

      There was a stewardess, too, actively engaged in producing clean

      sheets and table-cloths from the very entrails of the sofas, and

      from unexpected lockers, of such artful mechanism, that it made

      one's head ache to see them opened one after another, and rendered

      it quite a distracting circumstance to follow her proceedings, and

      to find that every nook and corner and individual piece of

      furniture was something else besides what it pretended to be, and

      was a mere trap and deception and place of secret stowage, whose

      ostensible purpose was its least useful one.

      God bless that stewardess for her piously fraudulent account of

      January voyages! God bless her for her clear recollection of the

      companion passage of last year, when nobody was ill, and everybody

      dancing from morning to night, and it was 'a run' of twelve days,

      and a piece of the purest frolic, and
    delight, and jollity! All

      happiness be with her for her bright face and her pleasant Scotch

      tongue, which had sounds of old Home in it for my fellow-traveller;

      and for her predictions of fair winds and fine weather (all wrong,

      or I shouldn't be half so fond of her); and for the ten thousand

      small fragments of genuine womanly tact, by which, without piecing

      them elaborately together, and patching them up into shape and form

      and case and pointed application, she nevertheless did plainly show

      that all young mothers on one side of the Atlantic were near and

      close at hand to their little children left upon the other; and

      that what seemed to the uninitiated a serious journey, was, to

      those who were in the secret, a mere frolic, to be sung about and

      whistled at! Light be her heart, and gay her merry eyes, for

      years!

      The state-room had grown pretty fast; but by this time it had

      expanded into something quite bulky, and almost boasted a baywindow

      to view the sea from. So we went upon deck again in high

      spirits; and there, everything was in such a state of bustle and

      active preparation, that the blood quickened its pace, and whirled

      through one's veins on that clear frosty morning with involuntary

      mirthfulness. For every gallant ship was riding slowly up and

      down, and every little boat was splashing noisily in the water; and

      knots of people stood upon the wharf, gazing with a kind of 'dread

      delight' on the far-famed fast American steamer; and one party of

      men were 'taking in the milk,' or, in other words, getting the cow

      on board; and another were filling the icehouses to the very throat

      with fresh provisions; with butchers'-meat and garden-stuff, pale

      sucking-pigs, calves' heads in scores, beef, veal, and pork, and

      poultry out of all proportion; and others were coiling ropes and

      busy with oakum yarns; and others were lowering heavy packages into

      the hold; and the purser's head was barely visible as it loomed in

      a state, of exquisite perplexity from the midst of a vast pile of

      passengers' luggage; and there seemed to be nothing going on

      anywhere, or uppermost in the mind of anybody, but preparations for

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      Dickens, Charles - American Notes for General Circulation

      this mighty voyage. This, with the bright cold sun, the bracing

      air, the crisply-curling water, the thin white crust of morning ice

      upon the decks which crackled with a sharp and cheerful sound

      beneath the lightest tread, was irresistible. And when, again upon

      the shore, we turned and saw from the vessel's mast her name

      signalled in flags of joyous colours, and fluttering by their side

      the beautiful American banner with its stars and stripes, - the

      long three thousand miles and more, and, longer still, the six

      whole months of absence, so dwindled and faded, that the ship had

      gone out and come home again, and it was broad spring already in

      the Coburg Dock at Liverpool.

      I have not inquired among my medical acquaintance, whether Turtle,

      and cold Punch, with Hock, Champagne, and Claret, and all the

      slight et cetera usually included in an unlimited order for a good

      dinner - especially when it is left to the liberal construction of

      my faultless friend, Mr. Radley, of the Adelphi Hotel - are

      peculiarly calculated to suffer a sea-change; or whether a plain

      mutton-chop, and a glass or two of sherry, would be less likely of

      conversion into foreign and disconcerting material. My own opinion

      is, that whether one is discreet or indiscreet in these

      particulars, on the eve of a sea-voyage, is a matter of little

      consequence; and that, to use a common phrase, 'it comes to very

      much the same thing in the end.' Be this as it may, I know that

      the dinner of that day was undeniably perfect; that it comprehended

      all these items, and a great many more; and that we all did ample

      justice to it. And I know too, that, bating a certain tacit

      avoidance of any allusion to to-morrow; such as may be supposed to

      prevail between delicate-minded turnkeys, and a sensitive prisoner

      who is to be hanged next morning; we got on very well, and, all

      things considered, were merry enough.

      When the morning - THE morning - came, and we met at breakfast, it

      was curious to see how eager we all were to prevent a moment's

      pause in the conversation, and how astoundingly gay everybody was:

      the forced spirits of each member of the little party having as

      much likeness to his natural mirth, as hot-house peas at five

      guineas the quart, resemble in flavour the growth of the dews, and

      air, and rain of Heaven. But as one o'clock, the hour for going

      aboard, drew near, this volubility dwindled away by little and

      little, despite the most persevering efforts to the contrary, until

      at last, the matter being now quite desperate, we threw off all

      disguise; openly speculated upon where we should be this time tomorrow,

      this time next day, and so forth; and entrusted a vast

      number of messages to those who intended returning to town that

      night, which were to be delivered at home and elsewhere without

      fail, within the very shortest possible space of time after the

      arrival of the railway train at Euston Square. And commissions and

      remembrances do so crowd upon one at such a time, that we were

      still busied with this employment when we found ourselves fused, as

      it were, into a dense conglomeration of passengers and passengers'

      friends and passengers' luggage, all jumbled together on the deck

      of a small steamboat, and panting and snorting off to the packet,

      which had worked out of dock yesterday afternoon and was now lying

      at her moorings in the river.

      And there she is! all eyes are turned to where she lies, dimly

      discernible through the gathering fog of the early winter

      afternoon; every finger is pointed in the same direction; and

      murmurs of interest and admiration - as 'How beautiful she looks!'

      'How trim she is!' - are heard on every side. Even the lazy

      gentleman with his hat on one side and his hands in his pockets,

      who has dispensed so much consolation by inquiring with a yawn of

      another gentleman whether he is 'going across' - as if it were a

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      Dickens, Charles - American Notes for General Circulation

      ferry - even he condescends to look that way, and nod his head, as

      who should say, 'No mistake about THAT:' and not even the sage Lord

      Burleigh in his nod, included half so much as this lazy gentleman

      of might who has made the passage (as everybody on board has found

      out already; it's impossible to say how) thirteen times without a

      single accident! There is another passenger very much wrapped-up,

      who has been frowned down by the rest, and morally trampled upon

      and crushed, for presuming to inquire with a timid interest how

      long it is since the poor President went down. He is standing

      close to the lazy gentleman, and says with a faint smile that he

      believes She is a very strong Ship; to which the lazy gentleman,

      looking first in his questioner's eye and then very hard in the

      w
    ind's, answers unexpectedly and ominously, that She need be. Upon

      this the lazy gentleman instantly falls very low in the popular

      estimation, and the passengers, with looks of defiance, whisper to

      each other that he is an ass, and an impostor, and clearly don't

      know anything at all about it.

      But we are made fast alongside the packet, whose huge red funnel is

      smoking bravely, giving rich promise of serious intentions.

      Packing-cases, portmanteaus, carpet-bags, and boxes, are already

      passed from hand to hand, and hauled on board with breathless

      rapidity. The officers, smartly dressed, are at the gangway

      handing the passengers up the side, and hurrying the men. In five

      minutes' time, the little steamer is utterly deserted, and the

      packet is beset and over-run by its late freight, who instantly

      pervade the whole ship, and are to be met with by the dozen in

      every nook and corner: swarming down below with their own baggage,

      and stumbling over other people's; disposing themselves comfortably

      in wrong cabins, and creating a most horrible confusion by having

      to turn out again; madly bent upon opening locked doors, and on

      forcing a passage into all kinds of out-of-the-way places where

      there is no thoroughfare; sending wild stewards, with elfin hair,

      to and fro upon the breezy decks on unintelligible errands,

      impossible of execution: and in short, creating the most

      extraordinary and bewildering tumult. In the midst of all this,

      the lazy gentleman, who seems to have no luggage of any kind - not

      so much as a friend, even - lounges up and down the hurricane deck,

      coolly puffing a cigar; and, as this unconcerned demeanour again

      exalts him in the opinion of those who have leisure to observe his

      proceedings, every time he looks up at the masts, or down at the

      decks, or over the side, they look there too, as wondering whether

      he sees anything wrong anywhere, and hoping that, in case he

      should, he will have the goodness to mention it.

      What have we here? The captain's boat! and yonder the captain

      himself. Now, by all our hopes and wishes, the very man he ought

      to be! A well-made, tight-built, dapper little fellow; with a

      ruddy face, which is a letter of invitation to shake him by both

      hands at once; and with a clear, blue honest eye, that it does one

      good to see one's sparkling image in. 'Ring the bell!' 'Ding,

     


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