But what can Butcher want on Sunday?
I never should have …
YOUNG DOGSBOROUGH, returning: Father, Butcher says
Last night the City Council voted to
Investigate the Cauliflower Trust’s
Projected docks. Father, what’s wrong?
DOGSBOROUGH: My smelling salts!
YOUNG DOGSBOROUGH, gives them to him:
Here.
DOGSBOROUGH: What does Butcher want?
YOUNG DOGSBOROUGH: He wants to come here.
DOGSBOROUGH: Here? I refuse to see him. I’m not well.
My heart.
He stands up. Grandly:
I haven’t anything to do
With this affair. For sixty years I’ve trodden
The narrow path, as everybody knows.
They can’t involve me in their schemes.
YOUNG DOGSBOROUGH: No, father.
Do you feel better now?
THE BUTLER enters: A Mr Ui
Desires to see you, sir.
DOGSBOROUGH: The gangster!
THE BUTLER: Yes
I’ve seen his picture in the papers. Says he
Was sent by Mr Clark of the Cauliflower
Trust.
DOGSBOROUGH:
Throw him out! Who sent him? Clark? Good God!
Is he threatening me with gangsters now? I’ll … .
Enter Arturo Ui and Ernesto Roma.
UI: Mr
Dogsborough.
DOGSBOROUGH: Get out!
ROMA: I wouldn’t be in such
A hurry, friend. It’s Sunday. Take it easy.
DOGSBOROUGH: Get out, I said!
YOUNG DOGSBOROUGH: My father says: Get out!
ROMA: Saying it twice won’t make it any smarter.
UI, unruffled:
Mr Dogsborough.
DOGSBOROUGH: Where are the servants? Call the
Police.
ROMA: I wouldn’t leave the room if I
Were you, son. In the hallway you might run
Into some boys who wouldn’t understand.
DOGSBOROUGH: Ho! Violence!
ROMA: I wouldn’t call it that.
Only a little emphasis perhaps.
UI: Mr Dogsborough. I am well aware that you
Don’t know me, or even worse, you know me but
Only from hearsay. Mr Dogsborough
I have been very much maligned, my image
Blackened by envy, my intentions disfigured
By baseness. When some fourteen years ago
Yours truly, then a modest, unemployed
Son of the Bronx, appeared within the gates
Of this your city to launch a new career
Which, I may say, has not been utterly
Inglorious, my only followers
Were seven youngsters, penniless like myself
But brave and like myself determined
To cut their chunk of meat from every cow
The Lord created. I’ve got thirty now
And will have more. But now you’re wondering: What
Does Arturo Ui want of me? Not much. Just this.
What irks me is to be misunderstood
To be regarded as a fly-by-night
Adventurer and heaven knows what else.
Clears his throat.
Especially by the police, for I
Esteem them and I’d welcome their esteem.
And so I’ve come to ask you – and believe me
Asking’s not easy for my kind of man –
To put a word in for me with the precinct
When necessary.
DOGSBOROUGH, incredulously:
Vouch for you, you mean?
UI: If necessary. That depends on whether
We strike a friendly understanding with
The vegetable dealers.
DOGSBOROUGH: What is your
Connection with the vegetable trade?
UI: That’s what I’m coming to. The vegetable
Trade needs protection. By force if necessary.
And I’m determined to supply it.
DOGSBOROUGH: No
One’s theatening it as far as I can see.
UI: Maybe not. Not yet. But I see further. And
I ask you: How long with our corrupt police
Force will the vegetable dealer be allowed
To sell his vegetables in peace? A ruthless
Hand may destroy his little shop tomorrow
And make off with his cash-box. Would he not
Prefer at little cost to arm himself
Before the trouble starts, with powerful protection?
DOGSBOROUGH: I doubt it.
UI: That would mean he doesn’t know
What’s good for him. Quite possible. The small
Vegetable dealer, honest but short-sighted
Hard-working but too often unaware
Of his best interest, needs strong leadership.
Moreover, toward the Cauliflower Trust
That gave him everything he has, he feels
No sense of responsibility. That’s where I
Come in again. The Cauliflower Trust
Must likewise be protected. Down with the welshers!
Pay up, say I, or close your shop! The weak
Will perish. Let them, that’s the law of nature.
In short, the Trust requires my services.
DOGSBOROUGH: But what’s the Cauliflower Trust to me?
Why come to me with this amazing plan?
UI: We’ll get to that. I’ll tell you what you need.
The Cauliflower Trust needs muscle, thirty
Determined men under my leadership.
DOGSBOROUGH:
Whether the Trust would want to change its typewriters
For tommy-guns I have no way of knowing.
You see, I’m not connected with the Trust.
UI: We’ll get to that. You say: With thirty men
Armed to the teeth, at home on our premises
How do we know that we ourselves are safe?
The answer’s very simple. He who holds
The purse strings holds the power. And it’s you
Who hand out the pay envelopes. How could
I turn against you even if I wanted
Even without the high esteem I bear you?
For what do I amount to? What
Following have I got? A handful. And some
Are dropping out. Right now it’s twenty. Or less.
Without your help I’m finished. It’s your duty
Your human duty to protect me from
My enemies, and (I may as well be frank)
My followers too! The work of fourteen years
Hangs in the balance! I appeal to you
As man to man.
DOGSBOROUGH: As man to man I’ll tell
You what I’ll do. I’m calling the police.
UI: What? The police?
DOGSBOROUGH: Exactly, the police!
UI: Am I to understand that you refuse
To help me as a man?
Bellows.
Then I demand
It of you as a criminal. Because
That’s what you are. I’m going to expose you.
I’ve got the proofs. There’s going to be a scandal
About some docks. And you’re mixed up in it. Sheet’s
Shipyard – that’s you. I’m warning you! Don’t
Push me too far! They’ve voted to investigate.
DOGSBOROUGH, very pale:
They never will. They can’t. My friends …
UI: You haven’t got any. You had some yesterday.
Today you haven’t got a single friend
Tomorrow you’ll have nothing but enemies.
If anybody can rescue you, it’s me
Arturo Ui! Me! Me!
DOGSBOROUGH: Nobody’s going to
Investigate. My hair is white.
UI: But nothing else
Is white a
bout you, Dogsborough.
Tries to seize his hand.
Think, man! It’s now or never. Let me save you!
One word from you and any bastard who
Touches a hair of yon white head, I’ll drill him.
Dogsborough, help me now. I beg you. Once.
Just once! Oh, say the word, or I shall never
Be able to face my boys again.
He weeps.
DOGSBOROUGH: Never!
I’d sooner die than get mixed up with you.
UI: I’m washed up and I know it. Forty
And still a nobody. You’ve got to help me.
DOGSBOROUGH: Never.
UI: I’m warning you. I’ll crush you.
DOGSBOROUGH: Never
Never while I draw breath will you get away with
Your green goods racket.
UI, with dignity: Mr Dogsborough
I’m only forty. You are eighty. With God’s
Help I’ll outlast you. And one thing I know:
I’ll break into the green goods business yet.
DOGSBOROUGH: Never!
UI: Come, Roma. Let’s get out of here.
He makes a formal bow and leaves the room with Ernesto Roma.
DOGSBOROUGH: Air! Give me air. Oh, what a mug!
Oh, what a mug! I should never have accepted
This estate. But they won’t dare. I’m sunk
If they investigate, but they won’t dare.
THE BUTLER enters: Goodwill and Gaffles of the city
council.
Enter Goodwill and Gaffles.
GOODWILL: Hello, Dogsborough.
DOGSBOROUGH: Hello, Goodwill and Gaffles.
Anything new?
GOODWILL: Plenty, and not so good, I fear.
But wasn’t that Arturo Ui who
Just passed us in the hall?
DOGSBOROUGH, with a forced laugh: Himself in person.
Hardly an ornament to a country home.
GOODWILL: No.
Hardly an ornament. It’s no good wind
That brings us. It’s that loan we made the Trust
To build their docks with.
DOGSBOROUGH, stiffly: What about the loan?
GAFFLES: Well, certain council members said – don’t get
Upset – the thing looked kind of fishy.
DOGSBOROUGH: Fishy.
GOODWILL: Don’t worry The majority flew off
The handle. Fishy! We almost came to blows.
GAFFLES: Dogsborough’s contracts fishy! they shouted.
What
About the Bible? Is that fishy too?
It almost turned to an ovation for you
Dogsborough. When your friends demanded an
Investigation, some, infected with
Our confidence, withdrew their motion and
Wanted to shelve the whole affair. But the
Majority, resolved to clear your name
Of every vestige of suspicion, shouted:
Dogsborough’s more than a name. It stands for more
than
A man. It’s an institution! In an uproar
They voted the investigation.
DOGSBOROUGH: The
Investigation.
GOODWILL: O’Casey is in charge.
The cauliflower people merely say
The loan was made directly to Sheet’s shipyard.
The contracts with the builders were to be
Negotiated by Sheet’s shipyard.
DOGSBOROUGH: By Sheet’s shipyard.
GOODWILL: The best would be for you to send a man
Of flawless reputation and impartiality
Someone you trust, to throw some light on this
Unholy rat’s nest.
DOGSBOROUGH: So I will.
GAFFLES: All right
That settles it. And now suppose you show us
This famous country house of yours. We’ll want
To tell our friends about it.
DOGSBOROUGH: Very well.
GOODWILL:
What blessed peace! And church bells! All one can
Wish for.
GAFFLES, laughing:
No docks in sight.
DOGSBOROUGH: I’ll send a man.
They go out slowly.
A sign appears.
5
City Hall. Butcher, Flake, Clark, Mulberry, Caruther. Across from them Dogsborough, who is as white as a sheet, O’Casey, Gaffles and Goodwill. Reporters.
BUTCHER, in an undertone:
He’s late.
MULBERRY: He’s bringing Sheet. Quite possibly
They haven’t come to an agreement. I
Believe they’ve been discussing it all night.
Sheet has to say the shipyard still belongs
To him.
CARUTHER: It’s asking quite a lot of Sheet
To come here just to tell us he’s the scoundrel.
FLAKE: He’ll never come.
CLARK: He’s got to.
FLAKE: Why should he
Ask to be sent to prison for five years?
CLARK: It’s quite a pile of dough. And Mabel Sheet
Needs luxury. He’s still head over heels
In love with Mabel. He’ll play ball all right.
And anyway he’ll never serve his term.
Old Dogsborough will see to that.
The shouts of newsboys are heard. A reporter brings in a paper.
GAFFLES: Sheet’s been found dead. In his hotel. A ticket
To San Francisco in his pocket.
BUTCHER: Sheet
Dead?
O’CASEY, reading:
Murdered.
MULBERRY: My God!
FLAKE, in an undertone: He didn’t come.
GAFFLES: What is it, Dogsborough?
DOGSBOROUGH, speaking with difficulty:
Nothing. It’ll pass.
O’CASEY: Sheet’s death …
CLARK: Poor Sheet. His unexpected death
Would seem to puncture your investigation …
O’CASEY: Of course the unexpected often looks
As if it were expected. Some indeed
Expect the unexpected. Such is life.
This leaves me in a pretty pickle and
I hope you won’t refer me and my questions
To Sheet; for Sheet, according to this paper
Has been most silent since last night.
MULBERRY: Your questions?
You know the loan was given to the shipyard
Don’t you?
Who is the shipyard?
FLAKE, under his breath: Funny question! He’s
Got something up his sleeve.
CLARK, likewise: I wonder what.
O’CASEY:
Something wrong, Dogsborough? Could it be the air?
To the others.
I only mean: some people may be thinking
That several shovelsful of earth are not
Enough to load on Sheet, and certain muck
Might just as well be added. I suspect…
CLARK: Maybe you’d better not suspect too much
O’Casey. Ever hear of slander? We’ve
Got laws agaist it.
MULBERRY: What’s the point of these
Insinuations? Dogsborough, they tell me
Has picked a man to clear this business up.
Let’s wait until he comes.
O’CASEY: He’s late. And when
He comes, I hope Sheet’s not the only thing
He’ll talk about.
FLAKE: We hope he’ll tell the truth
No more no less.
O’CASEY: You mean the man is honest?
That suits me fine. Since Sheet was still alive
Last night, the whole thing should be clear. I only –
To Dogsborough.
– Hope that you’ve chosen a good man.
CLARK, cuttingly: You’ll ha
ve
To take him as he is. Ah, here he comes.
Enter Arturo Ui and Ernesto Roma with bodyguards.
UI: Hi, Clark! Hi, Dogsborough! Hi, everybody!
CLARK: Hi, Ui.
UI: Well, it seems you’ve got some questions.
O’CASEY, to Dogsborough:
Is this your man?
CLARK: That’s right, Not good enough?
GOODWILL: Dogsborough, can you be …?
Commotion among the reporters.
O’CASEY: Quiet over there!
A REPORTER: It’s Ui!
Laughter. O’Casey bangs his gavel for order. Then he musters the bodyguards.
O’CASEY: Who are these men?
UI: Friends.
O’CASEY, to Roma: And who
Are you?
UI: Ernesto Roma, my accountant.
GAFFLES: Hold it! Can you be serious, Dogsborough?
Dogsborough is silent.
O’CASEY: Mr
Ui, we gather from Mr Dogsborough’s
Eloquent silence that you have his confidence
And desire ours. Well then. Where are the contracts?
UI: What contracts?
CLARK, seeing that O’Casey is looking at Goodwill:
The contracts that the shipyard no doubt
Signed with the builders with a view to enlarging
Its dock facilities.
UI: I never heard
Of any contracts.
O’CASEY: Really?
CLARK: Do you mean
There are no contracts?
O’CASEY, quickly: Did you talk with Sheet?
UI, shaking his head:
No.
CLARK: Oh. You didn’t talk with Sheet?
UI, angrily: If any-
One says I talked with Sheet, that man’s a liar.
O’CASEY: Ui, I thought that Mr Dogsborough
Had asked you to look into this affair?
UI: I have looked into it.
O’CASEY: And have your studies
Borne fruit?
UI: They have. It wasn’t easy to
Lay bare the truth. And it’s not a pleasant truth.
When Mr Dogsborough, in the interest of
This city, asked me to investigate
Where certain city funds, the hard-earned savings
Of taxpayers like you and me, entrusted
To a certain shipyard in this city, had gone to
I soon discovered to my consternation
That they had been embezzled. That’s Point One.
Point Two is who embezzled them. All right
I’ll answer that one too. The guilty party
Much as it pains me is …
O’CASEY: Well, who is it?
UI: Sheet.
O’CASEY: Oh, Sheet! The silent Sheet you didn’t talk to!
UI: Why look at me like that? The guilty party
Is Sheet.
CLARK: Sheet’s dead. Didn’t you know?
UI: What, dead?
I was in Cicero last night. That’s why
I haven’t heard. And Roma here was with me.