But I've always done this, so completely lost in the what if's, of my life.
Life In Different Directions
February.18.2004
I can see
my life going… in two… different directions
I am not really sure… which way I should… turn
I think I could be happy with either
I just don't know where to go from here
I feel like I need some help, but there are no hands of assistance
I think they have all let go, given up on staying around
I can see
my life going… in two… different directions
I just do not know, where I am supposed to go
Torn
October.21.2002
my heart being torn apart
bleeding until I am left for dead
dying until there is nothing left
watching the shadows cast upon the walls
feeling the true coldness of it all
tears me apart to think of things now
to know it'll never quite be the same
I sometimes cry into my pillow at night
thinking about certain things from my past
pictures and memories that I always hide
seem to come up even more bright
it's like falling apart time and again
when certain things happen I am reminded
to just not open up to any one or any thing
or trust things at all in the same innocent way
it hurts even more in the pit of me
and things just get thrown in my face
by friends who know nothing of me
I hate having to figure out
what I can say and to whom
and I hate not knowing
who out there really cares
my life feels so complicated and confusing
I can't even begin to explain
how much anger and shame and fear I feel
and how I just can't get over the pain
my heart is being torn apart from the inside out
shredded into fragments slipping from my own grasp
bleeding so much blood until I am left for dead
dying until there is just no more left
*******
Thank you!
Ashley Rebecca Kingston
About the author:
Ashley was born during a blizzard in Kingston, Ontario; and grew up in Victoria, BC with her parents and younger sibling.
As an adult she has traveled the world and lived in Vancouver, BC, and Santiago de Cuba, Cuba.
Ashley now makes her home again in Victoria, BC with the amazing Adrien and crazy dog Beyonce.
Home-schooled from the beginning, Ashley still enjoys learning new things, spending her time reading, writing and researching; designing, intellectual conversations and walking down on the breakwater with Adrien and Bey.
Discover other titles by Ashley Rebecca Kingston:
Poetry Collection One: Shadow Self Persona
And many more coming soon!
Connect with Me:
Twitter: @ashleyoutlander