for hours.
meanwhile,
he’s sleeping soundly.
—moonlight through glass.
fairy godmother says
you deserve so much more
than you’ve been given,
so don’t you dare forget
to tend to yourself.
take time to sweep your corners,
dust off your bookshelves,
shake out your rugs,
& make your windows shine.
create a safe space
for yourself to go when
it feels like the whole world
has turned against you.
it’s the only thing you’ll ever truly
be able to count on.
she can’t help but to notice that
he only pays attention to her
when he thinks she’s
paying attention to
someone else.
—especially if that person is herself.
fairy godmother says
you keep mistaking
possessiveness for love.
it couldn’t be further from that.
know this:
nobody can ever own your magic.
it is yours & yours alone.
“he’s bad for you.”
—her best friend, looking out for her.
“he’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”
—her, protecting him again.
fairy godmother says
if they make it easy
to lie about them to
everyone around you,
then that means
something is
very, very wrong.
don’t ignore red flags—
they’re the universe’s way
of protecting you.
leaving him
then never finding love again.
—what she’s been told to fear.
fairy godmother says
despite what you have heard, being alone is not this great tragedy everyone makes it out to be. if nothing else, see it as an opportunity to reintroduce yourself to yourself. to relearn who you are today. to dream up all the people you would like to be for every tomorrow to come. above all, find the value that lies in becoming your own best friend.
he tells her that she doesn’t need to wear makeup. in a manner of speaking, she agrees with him: she doesn’t need to wear it, but she does want to wear it.
—that should make all the difference.
fairy godmother says
keep standing up for yourself.
don’t let them get used to
the idea that their opinions
should rule you.
you, my dear, rule yourself.
you wear the crown.
you sit on the throne.
you—not them.
make sure they never forget that.
she asked him
what they were.
he let out
a laugh
& said they were
nothing
until there was
less of her,
for it would be
embarrassing
to be
seen with her.
—too much.
fairy godmother says
repeat after me:
there can never be
too much sky.
there can never be
too many dreams.
there can never be
too much coffee.
there can never be
too many stars.
there can never be
in one breath,
he calls her perfect.
in the next,
he points out her imperfections.
—mixed signals.
fairy godmother says
if he doesn’t think you’re absolutely stunning at your dirty sweats & grass-stained feet, then he sure as hell doesn’t deserve you at your fancy dress & uncomfortable heels.
when he calls her by the wrong name,
she pretends she doesn’t notice.
when it comes to him,
she’s gotten so good at pretending
that she sometimes worries
she might be losing herself.
—where did she go?
fairy godmother says
if you can no longer recognize the face reflected in the bathroom mirror, remember this: you are ever-changing. ever-spinning, too, just like mother earth. when you fall from the pure exhaustion of it all, you have every means to get back up & start over again.
keep going, little dancer.
keep going.
he always keeps her waiting, & she pretends she doesn’t mind at all, but deep down, she does.
—read at 3:37 a.m.
fairy godmother says
it’s not a character flaw
to care too much,
but it can drain you
until you have nothing
left to give yourself.
when he comes back, he comes back missing her body, but not her—never her.
—self-portrait.
fairy godmother says
run far, far away from anyone
who makes you feel like
you have to give them parts of yourself
you’re not ready or willing to give.
doing this doesn’t mean
you’re a tease, a prude, or ashamed.
your body belongs to you
& you decide what you do with it.
after he’s done telling her exactly what he knows she wants to hear, he walks away & whispers the same words into the ear of some other unsuspecting girl.
—charming.
fairy godmother says
use gentle words
until gentle words
no longer work.
there is such bravery in her silence.
—ghosting.
fairy godmother says
there is nothing in this world like the relief of knowing that you owe answers to nobody & nobody owes answers to you in return. we need not tie each other into knots to please one another. we are free to choose who we welcome into our homes & who gets the privilege to stay.
her precious fairy tales showed her what would happen if she found her prince, but they never prepared her for what she should do if her prince turned out to be her unhappily ever after.
—cinderella.
fairy godmother says
you will feel like you’ve made
a mess of things,
even when it’s not your fault.
you will feel hopeless.
you will feel helpless.
you will consider giving up.
it is then you must remember
that you alone have the power
to clean it back up again.
after hours of sobbing into her mascara- streaked pillow, she looks to the night sky & asks, “where, oh where, is the fairy godmother who will come fix my life?”
—stargazer.
fairy godmother says
get that head out of the stars.
here’s a secret:
your fairy godmother is inside you.
you only need to
believe in her
for your every wish
to come true.
(no wand necessary.)
ii
before you turn another page, try your hardest to forget everything you know about the fairy
tales you read as a child. in this fairy tale, the princess doesn’t recklessly leave behind a glass slipper for the not-so-charming prince. in this fairy tale, the princess takes a hammer to them, shattering both to pieces.
i’ve learned that you need to learn how to dance alone for a while before you’re able to find a good partner again. one who won’t make you spin around in circles to get you to stay. one who will gladly let you fumble, maybe even step on their toes a little bit. one who won’t try to hold you back when you run away, if that’s what you feel is best for you.
—my solo.
it’s okay if you don’t think
i’m fit to be the queen to your king.
—there are so many more important things to be.
you were never able to
make time for me.
now that you’re gone,
i make time for myself.
never have i been
more content in a relationship.
—muted & blocked.
when i fall asleep each night, i dream my own dreams. by some miracle, you don’t make an appearance in any of them, making them all the more beautiful.
you’re no longer
my first thought
when i wake up
in the morning,
but i’ll make sure
i’m your first thought
right before you
drift off to sleep.
you were my almost,
but i’m my own forever.
—long may i reign.
how does it feel to know that
i’ll always be the girl who got away?
how does it feel to know that
you’ll always be the fuckboy who lost her?
—the curse.
time + distance + prioritizing yourself²
—this is how you move on.
you needn’t try to race the clock to find your soul mate. trust me: they aren’t going anywhere. when—or if—you’re ready to meet them, they’ll be waiting patiently.
so often we are our own one true love.
there is nothing
unfeminist
about the girl
who chooses
the ball gown
& the prince.
there is everything
unfeminist
about those
who try to
shame her for
her choices.
she may have it all,
but that doesn’t
stop you from
having it all.
celebrate her,
then celebrate you.
first you must realize
you can both
be successful
in different ways.
—internalized misogyny.
at the same time,
you need to
be willing to
recognize your privilege.
be willing to
lace your fingers together.
be willing to
give a boost when you can.
—we don’t win till we’re all winning.
if i’ve learned
anything at all about
being a woman
it’s that
people will champion you
until the moment
you stand up
for yourself
a little too loudly,
a little too brashly.
—don’t let that stop you from fighting for what matters.
being called fat is not an insult.
being called skinny is not a compliment.
—they’re just sizes.
i’m trying to listen to my body more. i eat whatever it needs at that moment. sometimes that means fruit, sometimes that means chocolate. there are no longer safe foods or dangerous foods. there is just food—the energy required for my survival, the most important thing of all. not other people’s unrealistic expectations, or my own.
my value doesn’t go down when my weight goes up.
there is no
letting yourself go,
just becoming
comfortable
in your own skin.
—it should be celebrated, not scorned.
superficial is the person who can’t imagine worshiping you at every stage of you.
i am not my insecure nights.
i am not my broken promises.
i am not my messiest moments.
i am not my bad decisions.
i am not that little voice inside that whispers, “they hate you, they hate you, they hate you.”
—i am so much more.
i. getting out of bed.
ii. remembering to eat.
iii. drinking a glass of water.
iv. being kind to yourself.
v. surviving the day.
—reasons to be proud of yourself, big or small.
at first, self-love can feel like you’re trying to catch lightning in a bottle—next to impossible. i didn’t believe i could ever hold that much power in my hands, until the day i did. ever since, i’ve become a terrifying storm of a girl who will never settle for anything less than what she deserves.
i’m done being afraid of
what other people think of me.
if you want to judge me,
i won’t stop you.
i’ll be over here,
being flawless in every flaw.
—confidence.
when they tell me that i’ve changed, like it’s some personal act of betrayal on my part, i tell them, “i know. i’ve never been more proud of myself. i went from a single wildflower to a whole fucking meadow.”
everyone in your life
should be a source of joy:
family, friends, partners—
every single person.
if you always have to
worry about them,
then it’s past time to
create some boundaries.
sometimes that will mean
getting out the scissors &
cutting the very strings
that connect you.
withholding forgiveness
can be a form of self-care.
i’ve been facing up to difficult truths. for one, the fact that i tend to sweep aside the love i’m freely & unconditionally given from some so i can focus on the love that’s missing from others instead. it’s not fair to try to convince someone to care about me, or to overlook the ones who already do.
—it’s time for me to break the cycle.
if you feel like you need to lower your vibration to meet someone else’s, then maybe it’s time to say “goodbye.”
—always protect your peace.
i don’t know who
needs to hear this, but:
it’s okay if someone doesn’t like you.
it doesn’t mean there’s
something wrong with you.
it doesn’t mean there’s
something wrong with them.
some kinds of magic
just don’t call to each other.
strong is she
who knows when
she needs to lay
her battles down to rest.
strong is she
who knows the difference
between quitting
& self-preservation.
every full moon is a reminder
of what has come full circle
& must be released.
every new moon is a chance
to start anew.
—cherish your every phase.
never again will i choose
a toxic partner over a well-meaning friend.
you’re allowed to hold your family at arm’s length. family can be toxic. family can be abusive. family can belittle you, invalidate you, or make you feel unsafe. you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone who disagrees.
—do what you have to do.
if you do it to protect
your mental health,
then it is not cruel,
nor is it selfish.
i’ve found that most from rags to riches stories have very little to do with things such as money or material objects & everything to do with who’s still standing by your side when you discover your own self-worth.
—you’re a fucking treasure.
if life is just a storybook
then i’m opening it up
to every page you’re on
& ripping them out,
right down to the spine.
—it’ll be like you never existed.
i stopped wondering
when the next chapter
would finally begin,
& i started writing it instead.
—how i got out of my own way.
i hereby grant myself
the permission
to not be strong
all of the time.
i also grant myself
the permission
to not be soft
all of the time.
i’m allowed to
just simply be.
—temperance.
maybe i was never given a fairy godmother who turned a pumpkin into an enchanted carriage that took me straight to my happily ever after. but i no longer make excuses, i drink pumpkin spice lattes, & i check things off my to-do list. i handle things that i never, ever could have handled before.