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    Roads to Quoz: An American Mosey

    Page 54
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      We skirted the plantation burial ground, and a dismal place it looked; the cattle trampling over it in every direction, except where Mr. K had had an enclosure put round the graves of two white men who had worked on the estate. They were strangers, and of course utterly indifferent to the people here; but by virtue of their white skins, their resting place was protected from the hoofs of the cattle, while the parents and children, wives, husbands, brothers and sisters of the poor slaves, sleeping beside them, might see the graves of those they loved trampled upon and browsed over, desecrated and defiled, from morning till night. There is something intolerably cruel in this disdainful denial of a common humanity pursuing these wretches even when they are hid beneath the earth.

      Today, the chattel system is gone, Butler’s plantation with it, but the rice-field levees and cemetery, I’ve heard, remain as witness.

      12

      Turn Left at the Fan Belt

      ON OUR LAST MORNING aboard the Trotter, a small pod of bottle-nose dolphins broke the water ahead of her bow to lead us toward the wide and choppy St. Marys River bringing down the tannic waters of the great Okefenokee Swamp thirty-three miles west. Not far south lay Fernandina Beach, Florida; for us not the sandy strand of vacation cabins and condos but the old commercial and industrial section that had partly recast itself to accommodate tourism. As if to welcome the boat, a dozen pelicans perched atop pilings, their prodigious beaks resting on their breasts, their eyes alert to our approach. If you cross a heron with a goose, you get a pelican, a bird ungainly in all it does (notably backward crash dives for fish) until it takes up its low and lovely flights just above the waves, its big wings creating a cushion of air substantial enough to support its bulk.

      The boat tied up at the city dock just down the Amelia River from one of the pulp mills. Under a dismal sky, we went topside, saluted farewell to our doughty little tub, disembarked, stashed our bags, and began walking down Centre Street with its refurbished shop-fronts and a capably restored courthouse. We made our way toward Route A1A — the old snowbird highway — which begins or ends there. The breeze was out of a quarter that brought with it from a kraft-paper factory an effluvium not really nostril-plugging but a bouquet making it seem, under the dark sky, we were walking inside a damp grocery sack.

      A woman had told Q that locals liked breakfast at an eatery in an old filling-station still pumping gas but with its grease pit turned into a café. We followed the alphabetized, tree street names south until we saw a station with parked cars and a sign for gasoline but nothing for food, so I asked a couple of pert gaffers sitting outside the station — as is the Southern custom — if we’d found T-Ray’s Burger Station. “You’re there,” one said, the other adding, “Turn left at the fan belt.”

      In what was formerly a double-bay garage, under a picture of an inexpertly painted hamburger captioned with time-bleached letters — STOP IN AND KETCHUP — we took a rickety table with chairs out of somebody’s 1946 kitchen, and ordered up eggs, french toast, and grits. Next to us sat a young couple, hands linked, praying long over tomato omelets and toast but eating faster than canines, then bolting for the door so she could fire up a cigarette, inhale rapidly, puff her cheeks almost maniacally before exhaling smokelessly. She’d gotten all of it, and, after a few drags, she appeared to settle down as if calmed by the hand of her Lord. If you’ve witnessed modern anesthetics delivered, then you’ve seen her performance. It seemed to me their earlier, celestially directed gratitude “for what we are about to receive” might have been more honestly spoken over the tobacco than over the tomato omelet.

      T-Ray’s father stopped by the table to ask how our food was — it was good and honest and reasonable — and I asked about his forty years of business along A1A. He spoke of old north-coast Florida, the shrimp boats, the menhaden fleet. “We used to have a trolley,” he said, pointing outside to the intersection of A1A and Beech Street. “It ran right past there and on to the beach. That’s why the street’s named that.” (Someday I’m going to encourage Q to write a history of America as it gets reported in cafés and taverns and churches, versions that shape local understandings. A woman the other day had told me Queen Isabella had Christopher Columbus executed for torturing Indians: she got the torture right, but as for his demise, he died wealthy in his own bed.)

      South of Fernandina Beach, the Waterway is another kind of voyage, I hear, a route of so many excavated stretches it’s popularly called “The Ditch,” a place that reveals the nature of contemporary Florida and its daily throng of arrivals; once there, one in twenty new residents will operate a watercraft of some sort. Use of the ICW in the state is heavy enough to warrant a special agency to oversee it with specific regulations. Instead of rivers and sounds and creeks and marshes, there are concrete seawalls backed by even bigger walls of tall buildings blocking the Atlantic. It’s for that place — the last miles called the Gold Coast — most Intracoastal boaters are bound.

      Still, I confess, had I come upon a vessel of any sort going farther south, I’d have signed up for much the same reason I’ll go once into a Bible Factory Outlet store, which happens to be the same reason the bear went over the mountain.

      I won’t argue that the local promoters who’ve dubbed Route A1A the “Paradise Highway” are no longer correct, most areas now more verified than otherwise, but I will say, to each his own heaven — or fresh hell. Sometimes it’s a choice between a congestion of vehicles or flying teeth, city black rats or marsh rice-rats, spartina or sports bars, gunkholes or eighteen-hole golf courses. Youse pays your money and takes your choice.

      My choice, my Happy Isles, was three-thousand leagues of ragged and sometimes submerged coastal plain, a country sometimes called Low, a tidal world of blackwater rivers, muddied creeks, rank flats; a soggy, stormbound border cursed in at least one place to keep whites from ever making a dollar off the land, a widely unverified area of brackish water where terra firma is more the exception than a given, a spongy maze of runnels and gutters that defy roads and concrete foundations; a slender realm of fluvial and marine emergence where the controlling, inceptive sea usually lies beyond, unseen although eternally there as the intricate isles are not. To travel such a forever temporary continental-edge is to enter a few leagues of a kingdom come, a land of quoz rich in native booty.

      Valedictories

      An Infinity of Sundry Forms

      In a day to come, world weary, people will no longer regard Creation as entitled to admiration and reverence. The unexcelled All, which is goodness and the greatest of what has been, what is, and what shall be, will slip into danger of perishing, for then people will consider Creation a burden, and they will no longer revere the Whole of the Mystery — this incomparable work, this glorious construction made from an infinity of sundry forms, each part an instrument of the Cosmos which without bias pours forth favor on each of its works from whence is assembled entireties in harmonious diversity. Within every one of them exists everything worthy of veneration, praise, and love. And in that grimness to come, then darkness will be preferred to light, and people will think it better to vanquish than to seek harmony, and they will turn their eyes away from Creation, and the generous-of-heart will be thought fools, the intolerant rational, the destructive brave, and the self-serving clever. And all that attaches to the indefinable soul of Creation will be scorned and reckoned nonsense.

      —The Asclepius of Hermes Trismegistus

      Third Century A.D.

      (Free translation by WLH-M)

      FROM THE NEW QUOZINARY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

      (WITH ILLUSTRATIVE QUOZTATIONS)

      Quoz (kwoz), n. Anything, anywhere, living or otherwise, connecting a human to existence and bringing an individual into the cosmos and integrating one with the immemorial, thereby making each life belong to creation, and so preventing the divorce of the one from the all which brought it into being.

      • The Ancient Abyssinian Book of Quests: “Seek thee therefore the quoz of thy life that thou mayest find abundance surpas
    sing understanding.”

      • The Gospel According to the Cosmic Travailleur: “Unto you is given potential according to the measure of the gift of curiosity through which you shall find strength. Wherefore the Cosmic Travailleur saith, Be ye alert that quoz, like stardust from which it ariseth, come unto you and grace your days.”

      • A Natural History of Invisibilities: “Upon the pintle of a quoz do our lives pivot.”

      • Navigating the Gulfs of Heaven: “A quoz is a snubbing post to hold fast the smallest coracle in the severest gale.”

      • Field Guide to the Third Planet: “Pull the cotter pin of a quoz, and watch plenitude slip away like a lost propeller in deep waters.”

      • The Nodgort Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy: “In a human spiritual anatomy, as in existence itself, quoz are ligatures conjoining the heart to the brain.”

      THE NEW QUOZICON ONE-QUARTER-THOUSAND QUOZO-NEOLOGISMS

      FIRST EDITION

      quozabaly

      quozability

      quozable

      quozage

      quozagonize

      quozaic

      quozal

      quozality

      quozamic

      quozanalia

      quozancholia

      quozancy

      quozarama

      quozarchy

      quozardic

      quozarkable

      quozastic

      quozataneous

      quozathesia

      quozation

      quozbibber

      quozbiquitous

      quozbitionist

      quozbolic

      quozbolism

      quozbotic

      quozbrasive

      quozcentric

      quozception

      quozciple

      quozculiar

      quozcumbent

      quozcurism

      quozdantic

      quozdatic

      quozdelity

      quozdemity

      quozdom

      quozdratic

      quozdulgence

      quozdurate

      quozebration

      quozedly

      quozegory

      quozelous

      quozemia

      quozemic

      quozemplate

      quozendary

      quozendence

      quozendental

      quozenious

      quozennium

      quozentical

      quozentient

      quozenuity

      quozeration

      quozerdotal

      quozery

      quozescent

      quozession

      quozeteer

      quozeum

      quozevation

      quozevision

      quozevotion

      quozfibber

      quozfliction

      quozformation

      quozfuddle

      quozfully

      quozgestic

      quozhound

      quoziastic

      quozibilate

      quozibly

      quozicable

      quozicant

      quozication

      quozicide

      quozicize

      quozicord

      quozicular

      quozicum

      quoziety

      quozificial

      quoziform

      quozify

      quozigence

      quozigentsia

      quozigraph

      quoziland

      quozilation

      quozilential

      quozilient

      quozilious

      quozilize

      quozillance

      quozillion

      quoziloquence

      quozilusion

      quozily

      quozimate

      quozimatic

      quoziment

      quozimony

      quozimythical

      quozinarian

      quozinary

      quozinate

      quozinct

      quozineer

      quozing

      quozinity

      quozinize

      quoziosity

      quoziotic

      quozipatetic

      quozipation

      quoziptal

      quozisect

      quozism

      quozistence

      quozistible

      quozitality

      quozitant

      quozitary

      quozite

      quozitecture

      quozitical

      quozition

      quozitis

      quozitism

      quozitive

      quozitration

      quozitudinous

      quoziture

      quozity

      quozlery

      quozless

      quozlet

      quozlibrium

      quozlicity

      quozlingual

      quozliterate

      quozlitic

      quozlivion

      quozmania

      quozmanship

      quozmantic

      quozmatic

      quozmic

      quozmire

      quozmonious

      quozmute

      quoznalysis

      quoznify

      quozniscient

      quoznoiter

      quoznonymous

      quozocracy

      quozodical

      quozoficient

      quozographic

      quozoholic

      quozoid

      quozolary

      quozolate

      quozologer

      quozologic

      quozologist

      quozology

      quozolonious

      quozolution

      quozomancy

      quozomation

      quozomental

      quozometer

      quozomics

      quozompense

      quozonaire

      quozonasm

      quozonastic

      quozonomy

      quozontal

      quozopedia

      quozophile

      quozophobe

      quozopolis

      quozopoly

      quozordinate

      quozorial

      quozorious

      quozorium

      quozory

      quozosive

      quozosopher

      quozosophy

      quozosphere

      quozotic

      quozotive

      quozotypical

      quozparate

      quozpeccable

      quozpendent

      quozphonic

      quozpiration

      quozplex

      quozplicable

      quozpondent

      quozpostolic

      quozquence

      quozquibbler

      quozquisition

      quozrogate

      quozscape

      quozsensate

      quozship

      quozsome

      quozsplendent

      quoztalgia

      quoztarian

      quoztation

      quozterious

      quozterity

      quozterminate

      quozterpolate

      quozticulous

      quoztificate

      quoztility

      quoztiquity

      quoztiste

      quoztival

      quoztraction

      quoztributor

      quoztronic

      quoztropic

      quoztrusive

      quozuberance

      quozumbent

      quozvangelist

      quozvergence

      quozvermental

      quozversary

      quozversation

      quozversible

      quozvert

      quozvocate

      quozways

      quozymoron

      quozynthesis

      ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

      In addition to those people mentioned in the text, I want to thank Geoff Shandler, Karen Landry, Junie Dahn, Karen Andrews, Michael Pietsch, Terry Adams, Keith Hayes, Denise LaCongo, and Mary Tondorf-Dick at Little, Brown and Company. Also designer Laura Lindgren and indexer Ruth Cross. Across America, I’m indebted to:

      Jess Abney


      Margaret Abney

      William Abney

      Judy Agrelius

      Ed Ailor

      Susan Ailor

      Kelly Archer

      Stephen Archer

      Steven Archer

      Bill Atkins

      Pam Bagnall

      Brad Belk

      Sarah Bishop

      Carolyn and Darwin Britt

      Julie K. Brown

      Larry Brown

      Matthew J. Brown

      Philip A. Brown

      Sandra Brown

      T. Rob Brown

      Roger Brunelle

      Marjorie Bull

      Bill Caldwell

      Norman Caron

      Paul Cary

      Schery Case

      Andy Collins

      June DeWeese

      Joel Dicentes

      Stephen Easton

      Stephen Edington

      Norma Elliott

      Maggie Engen

      Shellie Bell Finfrock

      Marlene Fry

      Tim Gallagher

      Andy Gardner

      Tim Gay

      Steve Green

      Ron Hall

      Deborah Harmon

      Sheridan Harvey

      Hilary Holladay

      William Iseminger

      Trebbe Johnson

      T. R. Kidder

      Pat Lesser

      Barbara Luczkowski

      Maurice Manring

      Mike Mansur

      Bruce McMillan

      Scott Meeker

      John Meffert

      Galen Moyer

      Patrick Muckleroy

      Stanley Nelson

      Bob Poepsel

      Philip Rivet

      Greg Robinson

      Jim Ross

      David Schenker

      Ernie Seckinger

      Bill Shansey

      Joel Silver

      Leslie Simpson

      Jennifer Smith

      Dora St. Martin

      Mike Stair

      Saundra Taylor

      William A. Thomas

      James Wallace

      Doris Wardlow

      Kip Welborn

      Steve Weldon

      Karen Witt

      George Wylder

     


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