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    Street Love

    Page 3
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      The FATHERS

      AVERY BATTLE

      When I was Damien’s age I was hard

      Not that the boy should be as rough as me

      But I wish we could talk a little more

      He could tell me of his dreams and what part

      I might play in them, if I have a part

      What with his mother hovering over

      Him like a protective vulture. Too harsh—

      She means him well, I know she means me well

      But still, I sometimes wish he would find time

      To talk a little more. That would be good.

      ARTHUR WILLIAMS

      I heard that Leslie got herself busted

      For selling drugs—some heavyweight

      Action somewhere upstate. Well, she was

      Always sly and fly, chasing that big paper

      Hey, that big paper brings some big time

      You don’t want the time—don’t do the crime

      That’s the way the story goes

      You got to check out where you strolling

      You can’t tell people how to live their lives.

      Junice? Was that her girl’s name?

      How old is she? Ten? Eleven? She probably

      Hanging with Leslie’s mama.

      Now that was a woman who could

      Drink some gin. I tell you,

      She could drink some gin.

      JUNICE and MELISSA

      I have to open my sister’s mouth

      And fill it with thoughts as hard

      As stones so she can practice her lines

      She needs to speak clearly

      As she lies.

      “Melissa,” I will say

      “Miss Ruby will run the house

      She’ll make fried chicken and okra

      Hamburger and broccoli

      And when her mental hat flies

      Off down some weird and wondrous

      Street she will not chase it

      Will not ramble as she talks

      Or twist fragments of the past

      Into a hopeless stew of

      Neverwasness. Miss Ruby will

      Be our Strength and Center around which

      We will build Family

      Are you listening, Melissa?

      Will you tell them how sure we are

      Of our grandmother? Can you understand

      That we sell the Shadow to support

      The Substance of Miss Ruby?

      And dear Melissa, you have to say it all with

      Happiness in your voice. You must smile

      Sweetly. It is always Miss Ruby

      With a tilt of the head, and Mama

      With love in your voice and—”

      She left!

      —Call her Mama!

      She left, that’s all to say

      —One day we’ll be with her again.

      She left!

      One day

      If we hold on

      Hold ourselves together

      We’ll find some way to bring her home Again

      Never

      She walked away

      To live in her own world

      Junice, I hate her! She left us!

      She did!

      I know

      Baby, I know

      We have the same ragged

      Steel tearing at our guts, ripping Our lives

      I know

      Oh look

      Into my eyes

      There’s fear, but there’s fight, too

      We can be more than we should be

      We two

      Just you and me

      Melissa and Junice

      Two strong Black women against all

      That’s wrong

      Junice

      I’m filled with scared

      My stomach aches with sad

      I believe in you, my Junice

      I’ll try

      RACHEL DAVIS, DEPARTMENT of FAMILY SERVICES

      I have a job to do, a thing, a chore

      To look into, investigate, to know

      What is happening, what’s the score

      What makes this family tick, what makes them go

      And if there is a danger, then it must be seen

      Put aside, taken care of, duly filed

      With each detail revealed, all secrets seen

      With the clear aim that what is intended

      Is not some vague desire, no “if I could”

      No debate, pointless and open-ended,

      But that clear truth we call “the greater good.”

      There is no room for maybes when babies

      Are involved and they are so young, these two

      To be brought into family court

      The younger girl crying, the older glares

      But I only write the Final Report

      I am not the cause of their despair

      What they don’t understand

      Is that the precise list of regulations

      Properly numbered and indented

      Is family. They still long for blood and

      Flesh although blood and flesh has failed

      Them. The mother, Leslie, is my age.

      The report says that she has a tattoo on

      The side of her neck that says “Kitty.”

      I could never imagine myself with a

      Tattoo, or selling drugs, or having

      Children without a father at least listed

      As Divorced.

      At sentencing she pleaded that her

      Children needed her, would be desperate

      Without her. The judge asked her

      Where were her children when she was

      Out selling drugs? She had no answer.

      Now she has given her family to the

      State.

      The girl is sixteen, and much like the mother

      Her hair uncombed, her face looking older

      Than it should, her eyes darting back and

      Forth as she talks. She is a thinker,

      But what does she think? Her mother

      Is the kind who doesn’t think, who pushes

      Her way through a crowd of days

      As if she were in a hurry to get somewhere

      And yet turns at every obstacle to start in

      A new direction.

      My report will be straightforward, to the point.

      Should the state intervene, wrap its arms

      Around the girl and the sister? The sister

      Is almost ten, and shy. I almost caught myself

      Reaching out to her. Almost felt myself being

      Stirred by her youth, the eyes that looked

      Through me as if they could see

      The cool marrow of my being.

      Once she smiled for no clear

      Reason and I felt that she had seen

      The little girl in me that once was as

      Pretty and hopeful as she is now.

      And when she smiled I smiled back

      But then…but then I knew I must

      Move on and find that

      Greater good.

      The Final Report will depend on the

      Grandmother. Can she care for these

      Children? There is already a file on

      Her, it is thick with yellowed papers

      And the accumulation of forty years

      Of dampness. Her Report, 1076-A,

      Individual Court Record lists her

      As Stokes, Ruby, aka Ambers, Ruby—

      Black, two felony convictions.

      Assaults, one with a knife, one with a

      Bat against a man.

      What kind of life

      Is defined by felonies, by street

      Fights? What can she give these

      Girls? What can she contribute

      To the greater good?

      JUNICE in the EARLY MORNING

      Miss Ruby has probably always been

      Bigger than she needed to be

      Square shouldered, skin dark and dry

      As the black field dirt she came from

      Wide hipped, wide lipped

      Dried ha
    rd in the bitter Georgia sun

      Somewhere along the hardscrabble road

      Somewhere between the Left Alone

      Blues and the One Room

      Bathroom down the hall

      The almost saved daughter

      Of Sunrise Baptist Tabernacle

      Hardened. One day the music

      Was loud enough and the

      Rhythm strong enough to

      Push her too far into the Night

      To ever turn back.

      She is my flesh and blood,

      Big boned as I am big boned

      Uncomfortable in

      Her skin.

      Now she lives in shadow and memory

      Her mind a cluttered shelf

      In a narrow hallway closet

      Her life is a tattered volume of fading

      Photos, brown edged and crumbling

      Some hopelessly stuck together

      In her quiet times, between the pain

      Of her newfound wilderness and the

      Rage of not knowing who she is

      She sorts the pictures, putting faces

      With times, times with places

      Sometimes, away from the girls who

      People her life, she cries in the darkness

      Thin shoulders, no longer straining

      Against the twisted bra straps

      Hunch forward. Dark hands twist

      Her half-empty cup

      Nervously as she waits for the silence

      To stop its threats

      For the talking to start the day.

      “Morning, Miss Ruby.”

      “Go on, child.”

      “How you feeling today?”

      “You know, there ain’t no need complaining.”

      “You want some eggs?”

      “They were all right.”

      “You didn’t have any eggs yet, Miss Ruby. I’ll make

      you some.”

      “You’re so sweet, Kitty.”

      “Junice, Miss Ruby. I’m Junice.”

      DAMIEN and ROXANNE

      “Roxanne, where you headed?” Damien asks.

      “To the Computer Lab to see

      If any He-males are sending

      E-mails my way. Where are you going?”

      “To the office to check out the yearbook

      Pictures.”

      “Well, aren’t you the busy one,” Roxanne says,

      “And by the way—Colson asked me to

      The Charity Jam—something about

      Homeless Asians, or Hurricanes—is there

      A war in Angola? Or is that a prison?

      Anyway, you’ve been so busy

      Too busy for dances, I’m sure. Mother was

      Surprised because she took it

      For granted that you and I would be—

      Well, you know how mothers are,

      Taking things for granted and Cynthia

      Said she saw you talking to that girl

      Hummis, or Loomis, something like

      That and don’t they have such

      Interesting names and did I hear her

      Mother was a drug dealer—Oh, I guess that’s

      What you do when you get hot

      Or is it ghe-tto. If you’re not too busy

      You should take her to

      The Charity Jam. I’m sure she’d fit

      Right in. Don’t you think so?”

      The PHONE CALL

      Hello, Junice?

      No, Damien Battle, Kevin’s friend

      We spoke just the other day, remember

      In the principal’s office. Yeah. Yeah.

      Wondering if you were busy Friday

      There’s this dance at a club downtown, not hip

      But good for a laugh, something new to do

      Could you? Could we? I don’t know. Are you free?

      It could be fun. Something to do. You and me.

      Damien, it’s good to hear from you

      Friday, no, I can’t.

      I have to babysit. You called so late

      Perhaps some other time. It sounds all right.

      But I thought you and Roxanne were tight

      She seems more your type. Nothing personal.

      And I’m glad you called and everything

      But right now I’m a bit unglued

      I love to dance, but not right now

      I’m not really in the mood

      Roxanne and I are friends, there’s nothing more

      Our folks go back, you know how that thing goes

      But, hey, you want to stop at the coffee shop

      I’m thinking of taking over the world, and I can

      Use some advice.

      Why am I holding my breath?

      She’s said “yes,” why am I nervous?

      DAMIEN, JUNICE, and MELISSA in GRACE’S COFFEE SHOP

      How are things with you, He asked

      You don’t know? She responded

      I’ve heard, He said

      What? She asked.

      That you are bruised, that there are tender spots in

      Your life

      There are no tender spots, She said, No bruises,

      She protested

      (She put two teaspoons of sugar

      Into her coffee, slowly stirring

      Only the top)

      The coffee used to be 50 cents here

      Now it is a dollar, He said.

      It’s cleaner now, She said

      The coffee is better

      There used to be flies, She said

      The flies liked the old coffee

      He said

      Her face flashed with smiling

      (She looked away and then back at him

      Delighted with his joke

      He wanted to delight her again.)

      Things change, She said

      Her face darkening with her mood

      Bruises happen.

      Sometimes, He said, it’s hard to know

      How to handle things

      (Melissa was quiet, but she was thinking

      That sometimes words

      Danced instead of talked

      They bowed and touched

      And moved away

      Making spaces in the air

      Between them

      It was hard to know what

      Damien and Junice were talking about

      Unless you could read the shape

      Of the air between

      Them. Melissa looked, and guessed

      That they liked each other.)

      When will I see you again? He asked, reaching for

      The bill.

      When would you like? She replied

      Looking toward the far counter

      Friday? He asked.

      Okay, She said, with a shrug of one

      Shoulder.

      I’ll give you my address, she said.

      You can come by. I’m

      Babysitting you-know-who.

      Fine, He said.

      (Melissa smiled)

      But my crib is just a crib, Junice said No

      Home & Garden stuff, just “do get by”

      But if you still want to come,

      Then ring the bell

      (What am I doing? He’ll take one quick look

      And wish he was anywhere else but here

      I’m already ashamed of what I think

      He will think of me, of the life I lead)

      I’ll see you Friday

      DAMIEN standing on the PLATFORM, waiting for the UPTOWN 2

      What sweet surprise have I found in her

      That makes me high with gladness?

      That makes me want to babble to my lost saints

      And count the ways to celebrate her wonder?

      I see Melissa softly touch her arm

      And I long to speak the language of that touch

      The hum and thrum of crosstown traffic sings to her

      And I long to scat and jazz that ode of joy

      Her smile lifts and lightens me, and I want to fly

      My newfound wings slanting to a sky

      Ablaze with shimmering brillia
    nce

      As I am ablaze and silly and rapt

      Why does her look startle me?

      I have seen eyes sparkling in a sideways glance

      Why do her lips, pouting in a gentle curve

      Make my brain reel and my heart dance?

      With Junice I am not merely Damien

      But something new, a me invented

      Each atom of my being alive with feelings

      And oh what sweet sensations

      The crowded station rattles and shakes

      But I am alone on the mountaintop

      Naming the creatures of the earth

      And this sweet creature, this Junice, I will call Love

      JUNICE washing DISHES

      He might not show at all, but if he does

      I will take his jacket, and ask him to sit

      Where will he sit? On the sofa, of course

      He’ll look right at me, too polite to stare

      At the peeling walls or the faded rug

      He’ll ask how I’ve been and I’ll say “Quite well,

      Thank you.” Then I will have to sit, but where?

      Next to him on the sofa seems too bold

      But the window seat is too far away

      As if I’m afraid to be close to him

      Or being too respectful. That’s not good, either.

      Miss Ruby hardly touched her food

      And she doesn’t eat at all if I

      Put out the good plates. It’s as

      If her mind is back to some party

      From a hundred years ago.

      If Damien brings food I’ll have to sit near him

      Melissa will be watching television

      And Miss Ruby will be asleep.

      I hope she doesn’t snore

      I’ll make small talk, something about school

      Look at me, telling myself I don’t care

      What he thinks yet planning every move

      He’ll sit there and I’ll sit here with nothing

      Between us except our good intentions.

      And he had best bring his good intentions

      If this boy thinks I’m easy, some chump chick—

      I’ll start my good-byes at the end of hello

      Maybe I’ll just meet him at the door

      And tell him I’ve changed my mind

      And asking him here was just

     


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