attention.
"How'd I do?"
"Very well."
"Thanks. I practice all the time, but it's hard
because where I come from, people don't know much
about circuses. They don't know much about
anything," he said sadly.
"Where are you from?"
"A place in West Virginia known as the
Willies. It's in the mountains above the town of
Winnerrow," he said and saw that despite what he had
said about the people back there, he had a warm
feeling in his heart for his home.
"Why do they call it the Willies?" I asked. It
seemed like a strange name for a home.
"Oh, living on the mountainside is enough to
give anyone the willies---especially when the wolves
howl like the wind and the bobcats screech. Up there,
wild things roam at will. Gotta keep your eye on your
puppy dogs," he added and laughed.
"You don't make it sound very nice. No wonder
you left to work in the circus."
"No, I'm just kiddin'. It's not that bad. Actually,
I miss the peace and quiet of the woods. Most of the
time, you hear only the birds singin' or a nearby
crystal-clear brook babblin'. And I miss the smells--
the rich green leaves in summer, the pine needles, the
wildflowers. It's great to look eye ti eye with squirrels
and the like, and when the sun comes up in the
morning and lifts its head above the mountain or
peeps through the trees, you feel. . I don't know . . .
alive, I guess."
"Now you make it sound wonderful," I said.
"Which is it?"
"It's both. So, where are you going?"
"I'm going to Texas," I said. "Fullerton, Texas,
to stay with my grandmother."
"Oh? Where you from?"
"Boston and Cape Cod."
"How can you be from two places?" he asked. I
laughed, but he looked hurt. I saw he was a very
sensitive young man and didn't want to be thought
stupid or foolish.
"My family has a few homes," I said. "I grew
up in Boston, but I've been living in a home outside of
Boston," I explained.
He nodded.
"Sounds like you were right."
"What do you mean?"
"You didn't need me to change your one to a
five," he said sullenly. I stared at him a moment and
then I shook my head.
"Yes, I did," I confessed. His eyes widened
with interest. "Huh?"
"I didn't take much money with me when I left
and I had no idea how much things cost," I added. He
nodded, thoughtfully.
"Sounds like you left in a rush. Did ya?" he
asked, but I looked away. "Say, what's that you're
holdin' onto so tightly?" He leaned over so he could
get a better view of Angel. "A doll!" he said with
amazement. My eyes flared.
"It's not just a doll; it's a special doll, a
collector's doll. It's a work of art and it's called a
portrait doll," I said sharply.
"Oh, I see. Excuse me. Well, can I get a better
look at it? I promise to be careful."
I fixed my eyes on him. He looked sincere so I
handed Angel to him. He held her gingerly and
studied her face and features. Then he whistled
through his teeth.
"You're right. This is truly a work of art. I never seen such detail in a doll." He lowered her and gazed at me. Then he looked at her again. "Wait a minute.
This doll looks a lot like you."
"It's supposed to," I said taking her back
carefully. "I told you--it's a portrait doll. I . . . I
modeled for it."
"Oh. Say, that's something, and those clothes,
they look special too."
"They are."
"Well, that explains why you're holdin' on to it
for dear life."
"I'm not holding on to it for dear life," I
snapped. He laughed again. When he smiled, his eyes
brightened warmly. There was nothing snide or
conniving in his smile; it was nothing like Tony's
sneer. Luke's smile gave me a warm, safe feeling. "I'm just kiddin' ya. So where do you have to
go?"
"Texas. Dallas, Texas."
"That's far. When's your train leavin'?" "Not until eight P.M., I'm afraid."
"Eight P.M.! That's hours and hours. You can't
just sit here all that time. It's dusty and dirty and noisy
here. Don't you know nobody in Atlanta?" I shook my
head and he thought a moment. "Well, let me ask you somethin'. Would you like to see the circus? I can get you in free and it would pass the time away and then I
can bring you back to the station."
"I don't know. I. ."
"Have you ever been to a circus?"
I thought. I had been to one in Europe when I
was very little, but I barely recalled it.
"No," I said.
"Well that fixes it then," Luke said slapping his
hands together. "Come on." He reached down for my
bag. I remained seated. "Come on, I won't hurt you
and you'll have fun."
I thought about his offer. I did have a terribly
long time to wait and he was so handsome and
friendly. Why not? I decided and stood up.
"Great. I just took a friend to the station and
was on my way back," he explained as he led me out.
"The circus ain't far from here. It's only goin' to be
here another two days and then it's off for
Jacksonville."
"Sounds like a lot of traveling," I remarked. He
walked so straight and assured through the train
station. I admired him for being so confident at his
age. Unlike the boys I knew, even Joshua, Luke had a
maturity about him. I expected he had grown quickly
because he was on his own.
When we stepped out of the station, he turned
me toward the parking lot and indicated a beat-up,
light brown pickup truck.
"That's my Rolls-Royce," he said. "Ain't much,
but it gets me where I gotta go. I bet you're
accustomed to finer vehicles," he added, winking. I
didn't reply. He opened the door for me and I got in.
There were three empty beer bottles on the floor. He
scooped them up quickly and dropped them in the
back of the truck. The seat was ripped and there were
wires dangling from the dashboard. He got in quickly
and started the engine. It spurted and stalled. "Come
on, Lulu Belle, you should be impressin' our passenger, not bein' stubborn. Just like most women," he
said, "she's moody."
"Men are just as moody," I retorted. He
laughed. The truck started and we were on our way to
his circus.
"Is your family involved in the circus business
now?" I asked him.
"My family?" He laughed again. "Hell, no. My
daddy's been somethin' of a farmer and a moonshiner
most of his life. Ma's a hardworkin' woman. She
raised six of us and it took its toll on her, I'm afraid," he said, his face turning soft and sad. "You know what they say: it ain't how far you've traveled, it's how
rough was the road."
"Six is a lot to raise. How many boys and how
many girls?"
"All boys, which made it harder, I suppose. She
never had a daughter to help her with the housework." "Where are your brothers?"
"They're spread out all over the place. Two
went bad already. Before I left the Willies, we heard
Jeff and Landon were in county jails for shopliftin'." "I'm sorry," I said. I had never known anyone
whose brothers or close family members were
criminals. I couldn't help being afraid and wondering
if I hadn't made a mistake getting into the truck with
him.
"Yeah, Ma's takin' it hard," he said shaking his
head. "What's a moon . . . moon . ."
"Moonshiner? Boy, you sound like you live
behind some tall, thick walls. Moonshiners make
moonshine whiskey, bootleg whiskey. They got their
own homemade stills and they make this cheap
whiskey and sell it all over the place. Most of the
time, nobody bothers them, but once in a while,
federal agents pop up. Ma don't like Pa doin' it, so he don't do it as much. Lately, he's been doin' odd jobs, handyman jobs. He's a good carpenter. Speakin' of dolls and such, you should see the wooden figures he carves when he's a mind to. Why, he can sit on our porch for hours and hours and work on a dumb piece of wood, turnin' it into a rabbit or squirrel that looks
so real, you'd expect it to jump out a your hand." I laughed. He had such a colorful way of
speaking, yet he sounded real, down to earth, honest. I
couldn't help liking him and, in a way, envying him
for the simple life he had led and the simple world he
had grown up in.
He made a few turns and soon I saw the orange
circus tents ahead of us. There were crowds of people
coming and going. Luke waved to a man directing the
traffic and turned so he could drive through an
opening in the barriers created with ropes and posts.
We bounced over the field, past the elephants that-
looked at us with little interest, and then stopped
behind a smaller tent.
"I work here," Luke explained. "I care for the
animals, feed 'em, wash 'em down. It ain't much, but it
keeps me around the circus. Come on. We can put
your suitcase and your doll in the tent. I have a
mattress in one corner. That's my space. Nobody bothers it." He saw the hesitation in my face and added, "One thing about circus people; they never steal from each other. That's what I like about them-- their code of ethics. Much better than the world
outside."
I got out and followed him into the tent. There
were pails and cleaning equipment, bags of feed,
ropes and other tools stored in it. In the rear was a bed
of hay with an old mattress dropped over it to form a
makeshift bed.
"I sleep here," he explained. "That's my stuff."
He pointed to a duffel bag. "Why don't you put your
doll into your suitcase and just leave it right there next
to my bag."
I nodded and opened my suitcase. He stood
over me, looking down as I carefully wrapped Angel
and placed her in the suitcase. I closed it and he put it
beside his bag.
"There. Now let's go have some fun. I don't
have to do any work for a while," he said. I followed
him out and to the carnival area where there were
rides and games and food stands. It was a wonderful
day to go to a circus and carnival. There were just
enough clouds in the sky to keep the sun from beating
down, yet it was warm with a slight breeze. Everyone knew Luke and from the way most waved to him and
greeted him, I thought they liked him very much. As soon as we entered the carnival area, he
talked me into going on the Ferris wheel. Although it
wasn't a very big one, we still had a wonderful view
of Atlanta when we reached the top. The seat swung
back and forth, taking my breath away. I squealed
with delight and Luke laughed and embraced me to
give me a sense of security. I did feel safe under his
strong arms.
"Want a beer?" he asked after we got off. "I can
get it free," he said winking and nodding toward the
young man at the beer concession.
"No thanks," I replied. He bought me a soda
pop.
After that he tried his luck at darts. He became
very upset when he didn't win anything, but I told him
not to put down any more of his money on the game. "Try another, if you want," I advised. "My
father used to tell me that when something's not going
right, just put it aside for a while and do something
else."
He nodded, thoughtfully.
"You're right, Leigh. I get stubborn and stupid
sometimes and lose everything in anger. It's nice having someone sensible beside me," he said, his eyes soft. When he looked at me like that, with such intensity and with such sincerity, all sounds around me died away. It was as if we had drifted into our private world for a moment, risen above the crowd,
just the way we had on the Ferris wheel,
"Come on," he said taking my hand excitedly
and pulling me along. We stopped at the baseball
game. The object was to knock three milk bottles off a
basket. You had two chances for a quarter. Luke took
the balls into his hand and wound up to throw. Then
he stopped.
"Touch it for good luck," he said handing me
the ball. "I don't usually bring good luck," I said. "You will to me," he insisted. He made me feel
good about myself. I held the ball for a moment and
bottles squarely in the middle and the three burst away
from each other and off the basket.
"A WINNER!" the man behind the counter
announced, and then he reached back and took a
pudgy, little black teddy bear from the shelf and
handed it to Luke.
"For you," he said handing it to me. "It's not as
beautiful as your doll, but it's a lucky one."
"It's very beautiful and very cuddly," I said
pressing it to my cheek. "I love it. Thank you, Luke." He smiled and led me off. He bought a footlong hot dog and had it covered with all the fixings.
We started eating the hot dog. We had fun eating at it
from both sides. Our noses bumped when we reached
the middle and we laughed and laughed.
"I've got to- feed the elephants," he said. "And
then we can go in and see the clown show and
acrobats, all the circus acts, okay?"
"Sure." I followed him back to the work area.
He found a wooden case for me to sit on and watch as
he worked. He took off his shirt and seized the
pitchfork. The sun glistened off his smooth, muscular
back. He had wide shoulders that tightened and
displayed their strength as he scooped up large bites
of hay and dropped them in front of the appreciative
elephants. He worked right beside them, beside their
enormous legs, any one of which could crush a man to
death, and he stood inches from their thick, muscular
trunks, but he didn't seem afraid and the elephants
took great care not to nudge him. After he fed them
their hay, he filled large pails with water and placed
them in front of each elephant. They immediately
dippe
d their trunks into them. It was funny to see and
I couldn't help laughing.
"Ain't they some beautiful creatures?" Luke
asked me when he was finished. "They're so big and
strong, but so gentle. If people had their strength,
they'd be going around bashin' each other all the
time," he added bitterly. "Well. Let me wash off a bit
and then we'll go to the show. You all right?" "Yes, fine," I said still hugging my soft teddy
bear.
"You can leave that with your suitcase," he
said. "If you want."
"Okay." I went into the tent and put the stuffed
animal with my suitcase. When I came out again, I
saw Luke over by a water hose, running the water
over his head and upper body. He wiped himself
vigorously and then returned.
"Just let me brush my hair," he said. "Can't go
around lookin' bad when I'm with such a beautiful
woman," he added. Although he smiled when he said
it, I sensed he meant it and that made my heart flutter.
He went into the tent and then emerged with his hair
brushed neatly. He had such rich, soft ebony hair. I
felt like running my hand over it.
"Ready, mlady?" he asked, offering me his arm. "Yes, I am." I put my arm through his and we walked to the show tent. We could hear the barker calling the crowd to the next show and Luke's eyes lit up. As we joined the line moving through the front entrance, I felt the excitement building. There was the sense that we were about to see the greatest show on earth. Children were laughing excitedly, but even their
parents looked flushed and happy with expectation. The ticket taker just nodded at Luke and we
entered free. He hurried me around to what he said
would be the best seats in the house. Once we were
seated, he bought us bags of peanuts, a soda for me
and a beer for himself.
"How can you drink so much beer, Luke?" I
asked him. "Doesn't it make you woozy?"
"Woozy?" He laughed. "Naw. This stuff ain't
nothin' compared to the moonshine I grew up on," he
replied, but I saw Low it was beginning to make his
face red. He saw the concern in mine.
"But you're probably right about this, too," he
said raising the cup of beer. "I won't drink any more
today."
That made me feel better and I turned to the
show. The music started and the clowns came rushing
in, slapping and falling over each other, squirting each
other with water guns and dropping water-filled
balloons on each other's heads.
While the clown show went on, a young girl,