Chapter Six
Three days later dawned damp and dreary. Not
wanting to put off her move, she dragged a reluctant Katy
to the apartment. Now she smiled at Katy’s sour face.
“Why don’t you take the forks, knives and spoons out of
that box and arrange them in the silverware container.”
Ever since Mike had spilled the beans about Cyn moving
to the apartment, the little girl had been in a perpetual
pout.
Katy reached into the cardboard box and took out one
spoon. “I don’t understand why you have to move up here.
What’s wrong with our house?”
Rain pounded against the windowpanes in unison
with Katy’s protests. Cyn sat on the floor and held out her
arms. “Come here.”
In a flash, the child plunked herself on Cyn’s lap. “I
don’t want you to move out. I love you.” As if to prove her
point, Katy hugged her tight around the neck.
Cyn inhaled the clean soapy scent of Katy’s hair
while she rubbed the small back. “And I love you.
Nothing’s going to change.” For a while. “Other than I’ll
be sleeping here instead of in the main house.”
“But I like crawling in bed with you in the morning.”
Cyn gently grasped the small shoulders. “Look at
me.” Katy eyes filled with tears. “I think you know why
I’m moving up here.”
Her blue-eyed gaze slid away. Cyn bent her head to
hear the softly whispered answer. “Because I wanted you
to marry me and Daddy.”
Great. The kid had nailed it on the head. “That’s part
of it. I’m only a temporary guest, Katy. It’s important you
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understand I can’t live here forever.”
Tears streaked the chubby cheeks. “Will I ever see
you again after you leave for good?”
That was a question Cyn had no problem answering.
“Of course you will. I’m not moving to China. We can get
together. You can come spend a weekend now and then.”
She hugged the small body. “But let’s not get ahead of
ourselves. I’ll be staying right in this apartment for a
while yet.”
Ten minutes later, Katy chattered away as she
always did. Relieved to have circumvented what could
have been a difficult situation, Cyn’s enthusiasm for
having her own place kicked in.
The day sped by. Cyn hadn’t paid attention to time,
so she was surprised when Katy complained of being
hungry. Six o’clock? Surely her watch was wrong? They’d
worked straight through lunch. Mike said he’d be home by
six-thirty and she hadn’t even thought about supper.
“Enough work for today. We’ve got to come up with
something quick to fix for supper or your dad will be as
grumpy as a bear.”
Katy raced down the stairs while Cyn stopped in the
doorway for a last look at her new home. The lonely
generic feel that permeated the place this morning had
disappeared with the addition of her furnishings and
personal items. The warm and cozy atmosphere boosted
her spirits. Perhaps she was ready to sprout wings and
fly. Determined to keep depression at bay, she shrugged
off her sadness of someday leaving this family.
Katy ran back up the stairs and tugged her hand.
“Come on, Cyn. I’m starving.”
They braved the pouring rain and dashed across the
rain-slick lawn. Mike’s truck sat in front of the house. Cyn
groaned. Murphy’s Law strikes again. The one time he’d
come home early had to be the day she’d forgot about
supper. They entered the house and shook off the water.
“Katy, wait here while I get a towel.”
Too late. Katy raced down the hall. “Daddy’s home,
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and I smell pizza!”
Cyn’s heart hiccoughed. She’d yet to come to terms
with her ever-changing emotions about Mike. One
moment, he was Katy’s Dad and the next he was her
friend. Lately, she’d found herself wanting more than
friendship whenever they were together. Dr. Wentworth’s
words resounded in her brain. It’s unhealthy to make
someone else responsible for your happiness. You need to
learn to love yourself.
dependent on this small family? Were they her reason for
getting up in the morning? She shook off her fears. She’d
made two positive moves this week. It was time to try her
new wings and hope she stayed in the air.
She hung her jacket in the closet and lingered in the
living room. The gnawing hunger pains had vanished, and
she debated whether or not to return to the apartment.
Instead, she slumped on the couch and contemplated her
new awareness of Mike.
A spurt of embarrassment turned her face warm
when the object of her musings spoke behind her. “Hey,
don’t you want a piece of pizza? You’d best get out here
before my greedy daughter eats the whole pie.”
She briefly met his gaze. “Sure. I’m on my way.” She
stepped around him, quickening her step when she sensed
him on her heels.
She sank into her usual chair and halfheartedly
munched on pizza that went down hard as a piece of
cardboard. Soon as Katy went to bed, she’d tell Mike her
news.
“Yoo hoo, Cyn. Are you with us?”
Katy giggled and followed Mike’s question with a
comment of her own. “Space to Cyn. Do you read me?”
Cyn tossed her crust into the box. “Sorry. Guess I’m
preoccupied. Did I miss something important?”
Katy sipped her milk and wiped off the white
mustache. “Just us talking about my birthday party. It’s
tomorrow afternoon. Here. Fifteen of my friends are
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coming. I need a big cake.”
Cyn bolted to attention. “You’re kidding me? Why
didn’t you say something sooner?”
Mike tweaked Katy’s nose. “She’s teasing. Her
birthday isn’t until September. Off to bed, sweet pea.
You’ve got ten minutes before I come tuck you in.”
Katy jumped to her feet. “G’night, Cyn.”
“Good night. Sweet dreams.”
Katy scampered out and an uncomfortable silence
hung. Cyn didn’t know what to make of the strange
tension in the air. She cleared off the table and prepared
to wash the few dishes when a warm breath whispered on
the back of her neck. Her knees threatened to buckle. If
she turned just now…
“Come sit down. What’s troubling you? The move?”
He spoke and ruined her fantasy. She scooted away
to a chair on the far side of the table. “No. I’m happy with
the apartment. I think it’ll be good for me.”
Despite picking a chair as far away from Mike as
possible, he walked around the table and sat next to her.
“Then what is it?”
She stared at her folded hands and attempted a
smile. �
��I’ve always had difficulty accepting change. I’m
working on it.”
She raised her head and stared into green eyes. The
bottom dropped out of her stomach like when she rode
Ferris wheel at the County Fair.
“You’re not alone in fighting that particular demon,”
he said.
“Speaking of change, I found a job.” She threw her
news out and watched his reaction.
Mike sat in dazed silence, gaze glued to Cyn’s mouth.
A wide smile lit up her face. He could count on one hand
the times he’d seen her smile like this. Blue eyes sparkled
with excitement and something else he couldn’t put a
name to.
“That’s wonderful,” he replied and hoped the lack of
enthusiasm in his voice passed without notice. “I didn’t
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realize you were in the market for one.” Why couldn’t he
be happy for her?
“Dr. Wentworth suggested it. The more I considered
the idea, the more sense it made. Otherwise, I’ll never be
able to support myself.”
“The important thing is that you’re moving forward.
Tell me about the job. Is it on base? I’ll have to find
another sitter for Katy,” he muttered, more to himself
than Cyn.
Her blonde curls swung like silk when she shook her
head. “No, not on base. The library in town.”
“You’re kidding me?”
Mike instantly regretted laughing when her smile
vanished.
She pushed away from the table. “What’s so funny?
Got something against libraries?”
“Of course not. It’s just that I can’t picture you
working in one.”
She glared at him. “You don’t need to make other
arrangements for Katy. I work mornings so I can drop her
off at school and pick her up in the afternoon.”
Mike tilted back in the chair, rubbed his chin and
realized he needed a shave. Since when did he worry
about a few whiskers? “Are you sure? I can look for
someone else.”
She bristled like a cat protecting her kittens. “And
get someone else like Doreen?”
He coughed to stop the laughter tickling his throat.
“No. I’d go through an agency this time. Anyway, it’s not
your problem. So when do you start?”
Her gaze slid toward the clock. “Tomorrow at 9 a.m.”
Mike didn’t stop to analyze his irritation. “What did
you plan to do? Leave me a note?”
“Of course not. I’m telling you now. I only found out
this morning.”
“Sit down.”
“I really should—”
He softened his tone. “Please?”
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She parked her butt on the seat of the chair.
“Did you ever think about going to back to college for
your Masters?”
“Yes. That’s why I got this job…so I can save money.
Plus, I’m thinking I might try for a Masters in library
science, instead of education.”
Mike shifted, uncomfortable with the direction he’d
steered the conversation. Truth be known, he enjoyed her
in his life. Looked forward to coming home to find her and
Katy waiting. “Don’t forget Peter’s life insurance. You
could go back to school, concentrate totally on your degree
and not have to worry about working.”
The instant the words hit the air he wanted to take
them back. Fury darkened her eyes to indigo. “No. I’m not
touching that money. Not now. It’s my investment for the
future.”
Mike frowned. An investment for the future, or a way
to hold onto Peter’s memory a bit longer? Whatever. The
reason was none of his business. He’d made a suggestion
and she’d shot it down. Why didn’t he feel good about her
newfound strength? His little voice gave him his answer.
Because idiot, the faster she finds her independence, the
sooner she’ll be gone.
She rose so fast the chair tipped over and hit the floor
with a thud. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll head to bed now.”
Katy’s voice came from upstairs. “Daddy? What was
that noise?”
“Excuse me.” Without a glance in Cyn’s direction, he
left the kitchen.
Thirty minutes later, Mike walked downstairs
annoyed at the melancholy mood he couldn’t kick. He hit
the dim switch as he walked into the living room and
headed straight for the liquor cabinet to pour a healthy
three fingers of bourbon.
His hand jerked at Cyn’s husky voice. “I’d like one,
too.” He gathered his emotions and tucked them away
before turning to notice. She sat on the couch. “I thought
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you’d left. I’ll turn up the light.”
“Please don’t. Dark is nice.”
He held up the bottle? “You really want a drink?”
“Yes, please.”
He dispensed a small amount in a glass and carried
it to her.
“Thanks. I think we need to talk.”
Already out of his comfort zone that she’d stayed, his
anxiety level climbed even higher. “I apologize for sticking
my nose where it doesn’t belong.” He took another sip,
savoring the bourbon sliding down his dry throat. “It’s
none of my business what decisions you make.”
The liquor heated his blood and he grew antsy in the
ensuing silence. His nerves tautened with every passing
moment.
“You’re right,” Cyn murmured. “It’s not your concern,
but that’s no excuse for my rudeness. I had no right to get
so riled at your suggestion.”
He lifted his glass in a toast. “Let’s forget it ever
happened.”
“Before we do that, there’s something you need to
know.”
He’d been enjoying the warm rush of the bourbon.
Cyn’s statement sobered him instantly. “What?” Was she
about to drop a bigger bomb?
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Chapter Seven
Cyn shook so hard her teeth rattled. Certain she’d
soon shatter, she gulped the rest of her bourbon. “I’d like
some more.”
“You’re fingers are like ice,” he murmured as he took
the empty glass from her hand.
Cyn laughed. “That’s funny. The rest of me is on fire.”
A puzzled look crossed Mike’s face before he rose to
pour more bourbon. “What’s on your mind? You’re as
nervous as a new recruit on his first visit to the rifle
range.”
“Probably more so.” She clasped her hands so they
wouldn’t shake, took a deep breath and prayed for the
courage to say what she had to say. “My last few sessions
with Dr. Wentworth have focused on co-dependence.”
As she reached for her glass on the coffee table,
Mike’s fingers curled around her hand. “Why are you
telling me this?”
One minute she wanted to flee, the next to move
against his warmth and cuddle. Other than t
he hum from
the overhead fan, the room turned eerily quiet. “I’m sorry.
This is difficult.”
He released her hand and relaxed against the
cushions.
“I leaned on Peter during our entire
marriage…looked to him for my happiness. He was my
world. It was very unhealthy for both of us. In retrospect,
I can’t believe he carried the extra burden. He encouraged
me to make friends, to find a hobby and never complained
when I ignored his advice.”
Cyn paused for a sip of bourbon. “I’m surprised he
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didn’t leave me.”
“Hey!” Mike scooted closer and wiped away her tears.
“Peter loved you. Don’t ever doubt it.”
“I know he did. It was wrong to let Peter prop me up
through all the hard times. Not fair to either of us. I need
to be sure I never make that mistake again.”
Mike cupped her face and rubbed his thumbs over
her cheeks. “You’re beating yourself up. Now that you’re
aware of the problem, it won’t happen again.”
His closeness fuzzied her thinking. “I’m afraid I
already have.” The words left her mouth as a whisper.
His hand tightened on her bicep. “What do you
mean?”
It was now or never. D-Day. “I’m a little in love with
you. I have a hard time imagining my life without you and
Katy.”
There. She’d told him.
The truth should set her free. Except she didn’t feel
free. She felt like she balanced on a high wire without a
net. She tried and failed to read Mike’s expression. Fear
mushroomed with his long silence. God, what had she
done? She’d never be able to sit across the dinner table
from him again.
She rose, a quick getaway on her mind. Then he
smiled. A long, slow smile that curled her toes. Her
fingers itched to caress his cheek. She sank onto the couch
and pushed her hands under her thighs to curb
temptation.
“Just a little in love with me?”
Her voice came out as a squeak. “Yes.”
“I fell for you the second week. You’re so damn young.
Knew it wouldn’t work, so I shoved you to the smallest
corner of my heart. You’re grieving, Cyn. They say a
person needs at least a year to get over losing a spouse.”