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    Tom Stoppard Plays 3


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      TOM STOPPARD

      Plays Three

      A Separate Peace

      Teeth

      Another Moon Called Earth

      Neutral Ground

      Professional Foul

      Squaring the Circle

      Introduced by the author

      CONTENTS

      Title Page

      Introduction

      A Separate Peace

      Characters

      First Performance

      Scene 1

      Scene 2

      Scene 3

      Scene 4

      Scene 5

      Scene 6

      Scene 7

      Scene 8

      Scene 9

      Scene 10

      Scene 11

      Scene 12

      Scene 13

      Scene 14

      Scene 15

      Scene 16

      Scene 17

      Scene 18

      Scene 19

      Teeth

      Characters

      First Performance

      Teeth

      Another Moon Called Earth

      Characters

      First Performance

      1

      2

      3

      4

      5

      6

      7

      8

      9

      10

      11

      12

      13

      14

      15

      Neutral Ground

      Characters

      First Performance

      1

      2

      3

      4

      5

      6

      7

      8

      9

      10

      11

      12

      13

      14

      15

      16

      17

      18

      19

      20

      21

      22

      23

      24

      25

      26

      27

      28

      29

      30

      31

      32

      33

      34

      35

      36

      37

      38

      39

      40

      41

      42

      43

      44

      45

      46

      47

      48

      49

      50

      51

      52

      53

      54

      55

      56

      57

      58

      59

      60

      61

      62

      63

      64

      65

      66

      67

      68

      69

      70

      71

      72

      73

      74

      75

      76

      77

      78

      79

      80

      81

      82

      83

      84

      85

      86

      87

      88

      89

      90

      91

      92

      93

      Professional Foul

      Dedication

      Characters

      First Performance

      1

      2

      3

      4

      5

      6

      7

      8

      9

      10

      11

      12

      13

      14

      15

      16

      Squaring the Circle

      Characters

      First Performance

      1: The First Secretary

      1

      2

      3

      4

      5

      6

      7

      8

      9

      10

      11

      12

      13

      14

      15

      16

      17

      18

      19

      20

      21

      22

      23

      24

      25

      26

      27

      28

      29

      2: Solidarity

      30

      31

      32

      33

      34

      35

      36

      37

      38

      39

      40

      41

      42

      43

      44

      45

      46

      47

      48

      49

      50

      51

      52

      53

      54

      55

      56

      57

      58

      59

      60

      61

      62

      63

      64

      3: Congress

      65

      66

      67

      68

      69

      70

      71

      72

      73

      74

      75

      76

      77

      78

      79

      80

      81

      82

      83

      84

      85

      86

      87

      88

      89

      90

      91

      92

      93

      94

      95

      96

      97

      4: The General

      98

      99

      100

      101

      102

      103

      104

      105

      106

      107

      108

      109

      110

      111

      112

      113

      114

      115

      116

      117

      118

      119

      120

      121

      122

      About the Author

      By the Same Author

      Copyright

      INTRODUCTION

      These six plays for television span nearly twenty years, but not evenly. The first four were written close together (1965–7); Professional Foul followed after a ten-year gap, and Squaring the Circle seven years after that. My case history as a writer for television understates my interest in plays on screen but is fair comment otherwise. I wanted to be in the theatre. The first play I wrote, in 1960, was meant for the stage, and the next plays, for radio and TV, were – I hoped – stepping stones towards getting a play on the boards. 1967, the beginning of the ten-year gap, was the year of my first professional stage production in England.

      This is not a philosophical claim for the value of one medium over another. It is simply the way I felt, and there were many like me in those early Osborne, Wesker and Pinter years, when bliss was it to be performed but to be staged was very heaven.

      A Separate Peace was one half of an hour-long programme consisting of a documentary and a play which were supposed to illuminate each other. The documentary (which I made with Christopher Martin) was about chess. I now doubt that chess and the desire to escape from the world are good metaphors for each other.

      Teeth, a Roald Dahl-type story (as I hoped), I take this opportunity to dedicate to my much more recent and much nicer dentist. Another Moon Call
    ed Earth contributed a good deal to Jumpers: a woman who won’t get out of bed, a husband working in the next room, a death, a visiting detective. Penelope in this play pushes someone out of the window and I began Jumpers thinking that Dottie was going to be the murderer of McFee.

      Neutral Ground is based on Philoctetes by Sophocles. It was written for a proposed Granda TV series based on myths and legends. The series never happened but three years later the play was taken off the shelf and transmitted on its own, the only vestige of its original inspiration being the hero’s egregious name of Philo.

      Leaving aside weightier matters, Professional Foul serves as a good example of the concealed difficulty in the most-asked question: ‘How long does it take to write?’ When does one start counting? I had promised to deliver a play by the last day of 1976 to mark Amnesty International’s Prisoner of Conscience Year (1977). On that day, after months of trying, I had nothing to show, nothing begun and nothing in mind. A visit to the USSR (not Czechoslovakia) finally produced a ghost of a plot, and after that the play was written in two or three weeks, including turning a ballroom dancing team into the England Football squad.

      By comparison, the writing, rewriting, production and post-production troubles of Squaring the Circle were an endless saga (described in the Introduction to the play’s first publication). Whether it is a play at all, rather than a drama-documentary, is a question, through perhaps not a vital one.

      T.S. 1993

      A SEPARATE PEACE

      CHARACTERS

      JOHN BROWN

      NURSE

      DOCTOR

      NURSE MAGGIE COATES

      MATRON

      NURSE JONES

      A Separate Peace was first transmitted in August 1966 by the BBC. The cast included:

      JOHN BROWN Peter Jeffrey

      NURSE MAGGIE COATES Hannah Gordon

      DOCTOR Ronald Hines

      PRODUCER Ronald Mason

      DIRECTOR Alan Gibson

      SCENE 1

      The office of the Beechwood Nursing Home. Behind the reception counter sits a uniformed nurse. It is 2.30 a.m. A car pulls up outside. JOHN BROWN enters. He is a biggish man, with a well-lined face: calm, pleasant. He is wearing a nondescript suit and overcoat, and carrying two zipped travelling bags. Looking around, he notes the neatness, the quiet, the flowers, the nice nurse, and is quietly pleased.

      BROWN: Very nice.

      NURSE: Good evening …

      BROWN: ’Evening. A lovely night. Morning.

      NURSE: Yes … Mr …?

      BROWN: I’m sorry to be so late.

      NURSE: (Shuffling papers) Were you expected earlier?

      BROWN: No. I telephoned.

      NURSE: Yes?

      BROWN: Yes, You have a room for Mr Brown.

      NURSE: Oh! – Have you brought him?

      BROWN: I brought myself. Got a taxi by the station. I telephoned from there.

      NURSE: You said it was an emergency.

      BROWN: That’s right. Do you know what time it is?

      NURSE: It’s half-past two.

      BROWN: That’s right. An emergency.

      NURSE: (Aggrieved) I woke the house doctor.

      BROWN: A kind thought. But it’s all right. Do you want me to sign in?

      NURSE: What is the nature of your emergency, Mr Brown?

      BROWN: I need a place to stay.

      NURSE: Are you ill?

      BROWN: No.

      NURSE: But this is a private hospital …

      (BROWN smiles for the first time.)

      BROWN: The best kind. What is a hospital without privacy? It’s the privacy I’m after – that and the clean linen … (A thought strikes him.) I’ve got money.

      NURSE: … the Beechwood Nursing Home.

      BROWN: I require nursing. I need to be nursed for a bit. Yes. Where do I sign?

      NURSE: I’m sorry, but admissions have to be arranged in advance except in the case of a genuine emergency – I have no authority –

      BROWN: What do you want with authority? A nice person like you.

      (Moves.) Where have you put me?

      NURSE: (Moves with him) And you have no authority –

      BROWN: (Halts) That’s true. That’s one thing I’ve never had.

      (He looks at her flatly.) I’ve come a long way.

      NURSE: (Wary) Would you wait for just one moment?

      BROWN: (Relaxes) Certainly. Have you got a sign-in book? Must abide by the regulations. Should I pay in advance?

      NURSE: No, that’s quite all right.

      BROWN: I’ve got it – I’ve got it all in here –

      (He starts trying to open one of the zipped cases, it jams and he hurts his finger. He recoils sharply and puts his finger in his mouth. The DOCTOR arrives, dishevelled from being roused.)

      NURSE: Doctor – this is Mr Brown.

      DOCTOR: Good evening. What seems to be the trouble?

      BROWN: Caught my finger.

      DOCTOR: May I see?

      (BROWN holds out his finger. The DOCTOR studies it, looks up.)

      (Guardedly.) Have you come far?

      BROWN: Yes. I’ve been travelling all day.

      (The DOCTOR glances at the NURSE.)

      Not with my finger. I did that just now. Zip stuck.

      DOCTOR: Oh. And what – er –

      NURSE: Mr Brown says there’s nothing wrong with him.

      BROWN: That’s right – I –

      NURSE: He just wants a bed.

      BROWN: A room.

      DOCTOR: But this isn’t a hotel.

      BROWN: Exactly.

      DOCTOR: Exactly what?

      BROWN: I don’t follow you.

      DOCTOR: Perhaps I’m confused. You see, I was asleep.

      BROWN: It’s all right. I understand. Well, if someone would show me to my room, I shan’t disturb you any further.

      DOCTOR: (With a glance at the NURSE) I don’t believe we have any rooms free at the moment.

      BROWN: Oh yes, this young lady arranged it.

      NURSE: He telephoned from the station. He said it was an emergency.

      DOCTOR: But you’ve come to the wrong place.

      NURSE: No, this is the place all right. What’s the matter?

      DOCTOR: (Pause) Nothing – nothing’s the matter. (He nods at the NURSE.) All right.

      NURSE: Yes, doctor. (Murmurs worriedly.) I’ll have to make an entry.

      DOCTOR: Observation.

      BROWN: (Cheerfully) I’m not much to look at.

      NURSE: Let me take those for you, Mr Brown [the cases].

      BROWN: No, no, don’t you. (Picks up cases.) There’s nothing the matter with me …

      (BROWN follows the NURSE inside. The DOCTOR watches them go, picks up Brown’s form and reads it. Then he picks up the phone and starts to dial.)

      SCENE 2

      Brown’s private ward. A pleasant ward with a hospital bed and the usual furniture. One wall is almost all window and is curtained. BROWN and NURSE enter. BROWN puts his cases on the bed. He likes the room.

      BROWN: That’s nice. I’ll like it here. (Peering through curtains)

      What’s the view?

      NURSE: Well, it’s the drive and the gardens.

      BROWN: Gardens. A front room. What could be nicer?

      (NURSE starts to open case.)

      NURSE: Are your night things in here?

      BROWN: Yes, I’ll be very happy here.

      (NURSE opens the case, which is full of money – banknotes.)

      NURSE: Oh – I’m sorry –

      (BROWN is not put out at all.)

      BROWN: What time is breakfast?

      NURSE: Eight o’clock.

      BROWN: Lunch?

      NURSE: Twelve o’clock.

      BROWN: Tea?

      NURSE: Three o’clock.

      BROWN: Supper?

      NURSE: Half-past six.

      BROWN: Cocoa?

      NURSE: Nine.

      BROWN: Like clockwork. Lovely.

      (The DOCTOR enters with Brown’s form and an adhesive bandage.)

      DOCTOR: Excuse me.

      BROW
    N: I was just saying – everything’s A1.

      DOCTOR: I remembered your finger.

      BROWN: I’d forgotten myself. It’s nothing.

      DOCTOR: Well, we’ll just put this on overnight.

      (He puts on the adhesive strip.)

      I expect Matron will be along to discuss your case with you tomorrow.

      BROWN: My finger?

      DOCTOR: … Well, I expect she’d like to meet you.

      BROWN: Be pleased to meet her.

      SCENE 3

      The hospital office. It is morning and the DOCTOR is at the desk, telephoning.

      DOCTOR: … I have absolutely no idea … The nurse said it looked like rather a lot … His savings, yes. No, I don’t really want the police turning up at the bedside of any patient who doesn’t arrive with a life history … I think we’d get more out of him than you would, given a little time … No, he’s not being difficult at all … You don’t need to worry about that – he seems quite happy …

      SCENE 4

      Brown’s private ward. BROWN is in striped pyjamas, eating off a tray. A second nurse – NURSE COATES (MAGGIE) – is waiting for him to finish so that she can take his tray away. MAGGIE is pretty and warm.

      BROWN: The point is not breakfast in bed, but breakfast in bed without guilt – if you’re not ill. Lunch in bed is more difficult, even for the rich. It’s not any more expensive, but the disapproval is harder to ignore. To stay in bed for tea is almost impossible in decent society, and not to get up at all would probably bring in the authorities. But in a hospital it’s not only understood – it’s expected. That’s the beauty of it. I’m not saying it’s a great discovery – it’s obvious really – but I’d say I’d got something.

      MAGGIE: If you’d got something, there wouldn’t be all this fuss.

      BROWN: Is there a fuss?

      (MAGGIE doesn’t answer.)

      I’m paying my way … Are you pretty full all the time?

      MAGGIE: Not at the moment, not very.

      BROWN: You’d think a place as nice as this would be very popular.

      MAGGIE: Popular?

      BROWN: I thought I might have to wait for a place, you know.

      MAGGIE: Where do you live?

      BROWN: I’ve never lived. Only stayed.

      MAGGIE: You should settle down somewhere.

      BROWN: Yes, I’ve been promising myself this.

      MAGGIE: Have you got a family?

      BROWN: I expect so.

      MAGGIE: Where are they?

      BROWN: I lost touch.

      MAGGIE: You should find them.

      BROWN: (Smiles) Their name’s Brown.

      (The MATRON enters: she is not too old and quite pleasant.)

      MATRON: Good morning.

      BROWN: Good morning to you. You must be Matron.

      MATRON: That’s right.

     


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