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    Crossing the Water


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      Contents

      Wuthering Heights

      Finisterre

      Face Lift

      Parliament Hill Fields

      Heavy Women

      Insomniac

      I Am Vertical

      Blackberrying

      The Babysitters

      In Plaster

      Leaving Early

      Stillborn

      Private Ground

      Widow

      Candles

      Magi

      Love Letter

      Small Hours

      Sleep in the Mojave Desert

      The Surgeon at 2 A.M.

      Two Campers in Cloud Country

      Mirror

      On Deck

      Whitsun

      Zoo Keeper’s Wife

      Last Words

      Black Rook in Rainy Weather

      Metaphors

      Maudlin

      Ouija

      Two Sisters of Persephone

      Who

      Dark House

      Maenad

      The Beast

      Witch Burning

      A Life

      Crossing the Water

      Also by Sylvia Plath

      Credits

      Copyright

      About the Publisher

      Wuthering Heights

      The horizons ring me like faggots,

      Tilted and disparate, and always unstable.

      Touched by a match, they might warm me,

      And their fine lines singe

      The air to orange

      Before the distances they pin evaporate,

      Weighting the pale sky with a solider color.

      But they only dissolve and dissolve

      Like a series of promises, as I step forward.

      There is no life higher than the grasstops

      Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind

      Pours by like destiny, bending

      Everything in one direction.

      I can feel it trying

      To funnel my heat away.

      If I pay the roots of the heather

      Too close attention, they will invite me

      To whiten my bones among them.

      The sheep know where they are,

      Browsing in their dirty wool-clouds,

      Grey as the weather.

      The black slots of their pupils take me in.

      It is like being mailed into space,

      A thin, silly message.

      They stand about in grandmotherly disguise,

      All wig curls and yellow teeth

      And hard, marbly baas.

      I come to wheel ruts, and water

      Limpid as the solitudes

      That flee through my fingers.

      Hollow doorsteps go from grass to grass;

      Lintel and sill have unhinged themselves.

      Of people the air only

      Remembers a few odd syllables.

      It rehearses them moaningly:

      Black stone, black stone.

      The sky leans on me, me, the one upright

      Among all horizontals.

      The grass is beating its head distractedly.

      It is too delicate

      For a life in such company;

      Darkness terrifies it.

      Now, in valleys narrow

      And black as purses, the house lights

      Gleam like small change.

      Finisterre

      This was the land’s end: the last fingers, knuckled and rheumatic,

      Cramped on nothing. Black

      Admonitory cliffs, and the sea exploding

      With no bottom, or anything on the other side of it,

      Whitened by the faces of the drowned.

      Now it is only gloomy, a dump of rocks—

      Leftover soldiers from old, messy wars.

      The sea cannons into their ear, but they don’t budge.

      Other rocks hide their grudges under the water.

      The cliffs are edged with trefoils, stars and bells

      Such as fingers might embroider, close to death,

      Almost too small for the mists to bother with.

      The mists are part of the ancient paraphernalia—

      Souls, rolled in the doom-noise of the sea.

      They bruise the rocks out of existence, then resurrect them.

      They go up without hope, like sighs.

      I walk among them, and they stuff my mouth with cotton.

      When they free me, I am beaded with tears.

      Our Lady of the Shipwrecked is striding toward the horizon,

      Her marble skirts blown back in two pink wings.

      A marble sailor kneels at her foot distractedly, and at his foot

      A peasant woman in black

      Is praying to the monument of the sailor praying.

      Our Lady of the Shipwrecked is three times life size,

      Her lips sweet with divinity.

      She does not hear what the sailor or the peasant is saying—

      She is in love with the beautiful formlessness of the sea.

      Gull-colored laces flap in the sea drafts

      Beside the postcard stalls.

      The peasants anchor them with conches. One is told:

      “These are the pretty trinkets the sea hides,

      Little shells made up into necklaces and toy ladies.

      They do not come from the Bay of the Dead down there,

      But from another place, tropical and blue,

      We have never been to.

      These are our crêpes. Eat them before they blow cold.”

      Face Lift

      You bring me good news from the clinic,

      Whipping off your silk scarf, exhibiting the tight white

      Mummy-cloths, smiling: I’m all right.

      When I was nine, a lime-green anesthetist

      Fed me banana gas through a frog-mask. The nauseous vault

      Boomed with bad dreams and the Jovian voices of surgeons.

      Then mother swam up, holding a tin basin.

      O I was sick.

      They’ve changed all that. Traveling

      Nude as Cleopatra in my well-boiled hospital shift,

      Fizzy with sedatives and unusually humorous,

      I roll to an anteroom where a kind man

      Fists my fingers for me. He makes me feel something precious

      Is leaking from the finger-vents. At the count of two

      Darkness wipes me out like chalk on a blackboard . . .

      I don’t know a thing.

      For five days I lie in secret,

      Tapped like a cask, the years draining into my pillow.

      Even my best friend thinks I’m in the country.

      Skin doesn’t have roots, it peels away easy as paper.

      When I grin, the stitches tauten. I grow backward. I’m twenty,

      Broody and in long skirts on my first husband’s sofa, my fingers

      Buried in the lambswool of the dead poodle;

      I hadn’t a cat yet.

      Now she’s done for, the dewlapped lady

      I watched settle, line by line, in my mirror—

      Old sock-face, sagged on a darning egg.

      They’ve trapped her in some laboratory jar.

      Let her die there, or wither incessantly for the next fifty years,

      Nodding and rocking and fingering her thin hair.

      Mother to myself, I wake swaddled in gauze,

      Pink and smooth as a baby.

      Parliament Hill Fields

      On this bald hill the new year hones its edge.

      Faceless and pale as china

      The round sky goes on minding its business.

      Your absence is inconspicuous;

      Nobody can tell what I lack.

      Gulls have threaded the river’s mud bed back

      To this crest of grass. Inland, they argue,

      Settli
    ng and stirring like blown paper

      Or the hands of an invalid. The wan

      Sun manages to strike such tin glints

      From the linked ponds that my eyes wince

      And brim; the city melts like sugar.

      A crocodile of small girls

      Knotting and stopping, ill-assorted, in blue uniforms,

      Opens to swallow me. I’m a stone, a stick,

      One child drops a barrette of pink plastic;

      None of them seem to notice.

      Their shrill, gravelly gossip’s funneled off.

      Now silence after silence offers itself.

      The wind stops my breath like a bandage.

      Southward, over Kentish Town, an ashen smudge

      Swaddles roof and tree.

      It could be a snowfield or a cloudbank.

      I suppose it’s pointless to think of you at all.

      Already your doll grip lets go.

      The tumulus, even at noon, guards its black shadow:

      You know me less constant,

      Ghost of a leaf, ghost of a bird.

      I circle the writhen trees. I am too happy.

      These faithful dark-boughed cypresses

      Brood, rooted in their heaped losses.

      Your cry fades like the cry of a gnat.

      I lose sight of you on your blind journey,

      While the heath grass glitters and the spindling rivulets

      Unspool and spend themselves. My mind runs with them,

      Pooling in heel-prints, fumbling pebble and stem.

      The day empties its images

      Like a cup or a room. The moon’s crook whitens,

      Thin as the skin seaming a scar.

      Now, on the nursery wall,

      The blue night plants, the little pale blue hill

      In your sister’s birthday picture start to glow.

      The orange pompons, the Egyptian papyrus

      Light up. Each rabbit-eared

      Blue shrub behind the glass

      Exhales an indigo nimbus,

      A sort of cellophane balloon.

      The old dregs, the old difficulties take me to wife.

      Gulls stiffen to their chill vigil in the drafty half-light;

      I enter the lit house.

      Heavy Women

      Irrefutable, beautifully smug

      As Venus, pedestalled on a half-shell

      Shawled in blond hair and the salt

      Scrim of a sea breeze, the women

      Settle in their belling dresses.

      Over each weighty stomach a face

      Floats calm as a moon or a cloud.

      Smiling to themselves, they meditate

      Devoutly as the Dutch bulb

      Forming its twenty petals.

      The dark still nurses its secret.

      On the green hill, under the thorn trees,

      They listen for the millennium,

      The knock of the small, new heart.

      Pink-buttocked infants attend them.

      Looping wool, doing nothing in particular,

      They step among the archetypes.

      Dusk hoods them in Mary-blue

      While far off, the axle of winter

      Grinds round, bearing down with the straw,

      The star, the wise grey men.

      Insomniac

      The night sky is only a sort of carbon paper,

      Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars

      Letting in the light, peephole after peephole—

      A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things.

      Under the eyes of the stars and the moon’s rictus

      He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness

      Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions.

      Over and over the old, granular movie

      Exposes embarrassments—the mizzling days

      Of childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams,

      Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful,

      A garden of buggy rose that made him cry.

      His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks.

      Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars.

      He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue—

      How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening!

      Those sugary planets whose influence won for him

      A life baptized in no-life for a while,

      And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby.

      Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods.

      Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good.

      His head is a little interior of grey mirrors.

      Each gesture flees immediately down an alley

      Of diminishing perspectives, and its significance

      Drains like water out the hole at the far end.

      He lives without privacy in a lidless room,

      The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-open

      On the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations.

      Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible cats

      Have been howling like women, or damaged instruments.

      Already he can feel daylight, his white disease,

      Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions.

      The city is a map of cheerful twitters now,

      And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank,

      Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.

      I Am Vertical

      But I would rather be horizontal.

      I am not a tree with my root in the soil

      Sucking up minerals and motherly love

      So that each March I may gleam into leaf,

      Nor am I the beauty of a garden bed

      Attracting my share of Ahs and spectacularly painted,

      Unknowing I must soon unpetal.

      Compared with me, a tree is immortal

      And a flowerahead not tall, but more startling,

      And I want the one’s longevity and the other’s daring.

      Tonight, in the infinitesimal light of the stars,

      The trees and flowers have been strewing their cool odors.

      I walk among them, but none of them are noticing.

      Sometimes I think that when I am sleeping

      I must most perfectly resemble them—

      Thoughts gone dim.

      It is more natural to me, lying down.

      Then the sky and I are in open conversation,

      And I shall be useful when I lie down finally:

      Then the trees may touch me for once, and the flowers have time for me.

      Blackberrying

      Nobody in the lane, and nothing, nothing but blackberries,

      Blackberries on either side, though on the right mainly,

      A blackberry alley, going down in hooks, and a sea

      Somewhere at the end of it, heaving. Blackberries

      Big as the ball of my thumb, and dumb as eyes

      Ebon in the hedges, fat

      With blue-red juices. These they squander on my fingers.

      I had not asked for such a blood sisterhood; they must love me.

      They accommodate themselves to my milkbottle, flattening their sides.

      Overhead go the choughs in black, cacophonous flocks—

      Bits of burnt paper wheeling in a blown sky.

      Theirs is the only voice, protesting, protesting.

      I do not think the sea will appear at all.

      The high, green meadows are glowing, as if lit from within.

      I come to one bush of berries so ripe it is a bush of flies,

      Hanging their blue-green bellies and their wing panes in a Chinese screen.

      The honey-feast of the berries has stunned them; they believe in heaven.

      One more hook, and the berries and bushes end.

      The only thing to come now is the sea.

      From between two hills a sudden wind funnels at me,

      Slapping its phantom laundry in my face.

      These hills are too green and sweet to have tasted salt.

    &nbs
    p; I follow the sheep path between them. A last hook brings me

      To the hills’ northern face, and the face is orange rock

      That looks out on nothing, nothing but a great space

      Of white and pewter lights, and a din like silversmiths

      Beating and beating at an intractable metal.

      The Babysitters

      It is ten years, now, since we rowed to Children’s Island.

      The sun flamed straight down that noon on the water off Marblehead.

      That summer we wore black glasses to hide our eyes.

      We were always crying, in our spare rooms, little put-upon sisters,

      In the two, huge, white, handsome houses in Swampscott.

      When the sweetheart from England appeared, with her cream skin and Yardley cosmetics,

      I had to sleep in the same room with the baby on a too-short cot,

      And the seven-year-old wouldn’t go out unless his jersey stripes

      Matched the stripes of his socks.

      O it was richness!—eleven rooms and a yacht

      With a polished mahogany stair to let into the water

      And a cabin boy who could decorate cakes in six-colored frosting.

      But I didn’t know how to cook, and babies depressed me.

      Nights, I wrote in my diary spitefully, my fingers red

      With triangular scorch marks from ironing tiny ruchings and puffed sleeves.

      When the sporty wife and her doctor husband went on one of their cruises

      They left me a borrowed maid named Ellen, “for protection,”

      And a small Dalmatian.

      In your house, the main house, you were better off.

      You had a rose garden and a guest cottage and a model apothecary shop

      And a cook and a maid, and knew about the key to the bourbon.

      I remember you playing “Ja-Da” in a pink piqué dress

      On the game-room piano, when the “big people” were out,

      And the maid smoked and shot pool under a green-shaded lamp.

      The cook had one walleye and couldn’t sleep, she was so nervous.

      On trial, from Ireland, she burned batch after batch of cookies

      Till she was fired.

      O what has come over us, my sister!

     


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