NAKED
BUNYIP
DANCING
This project has been assisted by the Commonwealth Government through the Australia Council, its arts funding and advisory body.
First published in 2005
Copyright © Text, Steven Herrick 2005
Copyright © Illustrations, Beth Norling 2005
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or ten per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.
Allen & Unwin
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Crows Nest NSW 2065
Australia
Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100
Fax: (61 2) 9906 2218
Email: info@allenandunwin.com
Web: www.allenandunwin.com
National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:
Herrick, Steven.
Naked bunyip dancing.
ISBN 1 74114 655 0.
1. School children – Juvenile fiction. I Norling, Beth. II. Title
823.3
Cover and text illustrations by Beth Norling
Cover and text design by Sandra Nobes
Typeset in Bembo by Tou-Can Design
Printed in Australia by McPherson’s Printing Group
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
‘Wise things Billy has said this term’ was published in Blast Off,
NSW School Magazine, March 2003
‘Mr Carey’s war poem’ was published as ‘Early Monday Morning’ in
Lines in the Sand, New Writing on War and Peace, Frances Lincoln Ltd, London, UK, 2003
STEVEN HERRICK
pictures by Beth Norling
Contents
Michael
Our new teacher
Nicknames
Poetry, after lunch
Billy
Alex, on holiday?
The J-man
The class respond to the J-man
Michael’s secret
Emily
Jason
The Principal welcomes our new secretary
Michael converts to yoga
Anna, quiet and still
The boy with the talking bottom
Billy’s yoga
Michael’s quiet lunch
Co-curricular activities
Alex, any day of the week
Mr Carey announces an excursion
Anna and the excursion
Michael on the excursion
Billy and the excursion
School Rules!?
Peter – the graffiti-artist?
Billy and poetry
Sophie’s alternative poem . . .
Class 6C at cricket practice
Peter’s magic fingers
Billy asks Mr Jonesforthwalton a question
Music, with Ms Libradore
Michael and Maths
The class meet Sharita
Sarah and belly dancing for beginners
Alex’s empty suitcase
A concert? A play?
Michael does a quick count...
Emily
Peter the host
Sophie and poetry
Jason’s secret
The Rap Master ducks for cover
Mr Carey tells us about his first game of football
Peter tells us about his first game of football
An autumn poem by Billy
A spring rap by the J-man
A summer poem by Peter
A winter poem by Emily
Michael’s broken remote control
Questions Mr Carey has not answered, yet.
Class 6C answer a question
Anna’s secret
No one’s secret any more...
Emily
Jason
Alex’s Saturday soccer
Michael’s weekend treat
Anna and Beyonce
Wise things Billy has said this term
Jason, and parents
Peter, in love?
Billy, in love?
The class respond to Billy’s haircut
Letter to an author
Letter to a rapper
Concert practice
The Co-curricular guest
Billy and the bugle
Billy? No way!
Jason
Emily
The hero of Macbeth
Anna and the fool of Macbeth
Electricity in Anna’s house
Michael watching the weather
Sarah asks Mr Jonesforthwalton three questions
Mr Carey jigged school!
Jason foresees the future
Sophie forsees her future
The poems Sophie didn’t finish
Class 6C and their favourite birds
Windy
Mr Holditz
Mr Carey’s first day back
Doodle Alex
Alex the cartoonist
Emily learns the truth
Jason
Sophie tells
Jason
Emily
Jason explains...
Billy saves the day
Peter
Alex agrees
Anna and the lasting war
Anna’s poem on World War One
Peter’s war poem
Billy’s war poem
Mr Carey’s war poem
War (a poem by Sophie)
Michael and the winner
Billy
Anna and the genius
Love is in the air (Anna’s latest secret)
The Billy poem to end all poems, okay!
Anna and the big night
Michael and the raffle
J-man Class 6C Rap
Emily
Jason
Sophie
Ahmet
Billy’s surprise
Peter
Michael and the first prize
The Principal asks Mr Jonesforthwalton a question
About the author
Michael
It’s the same every year.
38 degrees in the shade
as we trudge back to school,
thinking of the beach
and the long days swimming
and hanging out,
wearing what we like,
eating when we like,
doing what we like,
and now…
Mum even ironed my uniform!
I’m walking along the scorching bitumen
with Peter,
who can’t stop talking
about how much he ate
on Christmas day,
and how many presents he got,
and where his family plan to go
for holidays next year,
and as he says that,
he stops,
and it hits him.
Next year is
a long time away
from where we are now,
walking through
a blistering summer
going back to school.
Our new teacher
Mr Carey has long hair,
and a beard.
He wears flared trousers,
and beads,
and a T-shirt with the slogan
‘Meat is murder’ on the front,
and ‘Mc
Donald’s = McJunk’ on the back.
Today is his first day.
He plays us music
by someone called
Bob Dylan,
who sounds like
he swallowed a bag of marbles
and got two stuck up his nose.
Mr Carey closes his eyes,
raises his arms,
and sings along
with Mr Dylan.
The whole class
is nervously quiet,
watching.
When the bell rings
no one moves.
We all stare at Mr Carey,
who turns off the music,
bows, smiles,
and says,
‘Thank you, children.
One day, I hope we’ll sing together.
After lunch,
we’ll read poetry.’
This is going to be
one very interesting year!
Nicknames
Mr Carey, the madman – Sophie
Carey, the crooner – Anna
Carey, the scary! – Ahmet
Marble nose! – Me!
The beaded one – Jason
The bearded beaded one – Emily
Mr McDonald’s – Alex (who loves hamburgers)
Mr Vegetarian – Sarah (who hates hamburgers)
The tofu butcher – Peter (no, I don’t get it either)
Mrs Batlow, come back – Rachel (who liked our last teacher)
Mrs Batlow, come back – Sean (who didn’t like our last teacher!)
Carey, the hairy – Billy
We all look at Billy
and together
we nod
and say
in a whisper,
‘Carey, the hairy.’
Poetry, after lunch
At least Mr Carey
a boring essay on
‘what we did on our holidays’
so he can’t be too bad.
He read us poetry
and some of it was okay,
and he didn’t try to teach us
about images and metaphors
and similes.
I hate similes!
Our old teacher always used to say,
‘A simile is when you say
something is like something else.’
We’d all laugh at old Mrs Batlow
with her grey hair and granny glasses
saying this was like that,
and we were like this,
all the time, like,
she was sounding like Jessica Simpson!
Mr Carey read aloud,
and he asked us what we thought.
At first, no one raised their hand.
We weren’t sure what to say,
then, finally,
Peter said he liked the one on food,
Sarah said she liked the animal poem,
Ahmet liked the football poem,
but when Mr Carey asked Billy
which poem he liked,
Billy,
who had been staring out the window,
quick as a flash, said,
‘I liked the poem on punk music.’
Mr Carey looked confused.
‘I didn’t read a poem on punk.’
And Billy smiled
and said,
‘Exactly.’
Billy
I think Mr Carey
smiled at my punk joke.
I’m sure
underneath all that beard hair
I saw a slight upturning
of the lips.
Could we have a teacher
with a sense of humour?
I thought they went out of fashion
along with beards and Bob Dylan!
But I’d be willing to put up with poetry,
and awful Mr Dylan,
if it meant we could have a laugh.
Alex, on holiday?
I’m sure glad Mr Carey
didn’t ask us to write
about our holiday.
How do you write an essay
on helping your dad move out
to go and live in a little flat
around the corner?
And spending half the time
sitting in the bedroom
listening to your parents
argue
over what Dad can take
and what has to stay behind?
And every argument ends
with one of them saying,
‘As long as Alex is happy.’
That’s when I put the pillow
tight over my ears
so I couldn’t hear any more
and so I wouldn’t shout,
‘I’m not happy!’
I spent exactly twenty days
at Dad’s place,
and twenty days
at our house with Mum,
which I think is my parents’ idea
of being fair and even.
I couldn’t wait for school to start.
How weird is that?
The J-man
I’m Jackson Jacobs – the J-man.
Coolest kid in the land.
New in school.
Ain’t no fool.
Jacobs the name – call me Jackson.
Rappin’s the game if you want satisfaction.
Got sunglasses – yeah.
Got a beanie – yeah.
Baggy pants – baggy, yeah.
Walk with a carefree lope.
Ain’t no nerdy dope.
I’m so cool I’m a refrigerator.
Hear me sing, excitement generator.
Talk in rhyme.
Yeah, all the time.
Jackson – the J-man.
Wish I was American.
But I’m new in school
and I’m from Dubbo.
Don’t go to Dubbo
no no
no Dubbo
nothing rhymes with Dubbo
so I gotta go.
Remember me, I’m free.
I’m Jackson – the J-man.
The class respond
to the J-man
Cool
– Sarah.
Ice, baby, ice.
– Isabella.
Great shoes. Skate shoes.
– Alex.
Are they long pants or short pants,
or long shorts?
Is Dubbo in America?
– Emily.
Is Dubbo in outer space?
– Jason.
Can he make a rhyme with orange?
– Me.
Do we call him Jackson, or the J-man?
– Sophie.
I can’t understand a word he says.
– Mr Carey.
I think he’s on drugs.
– Sean.
I think he’s on red cordial.
– Peter.
Why is he wearing a beanie in summer?
– Ahmet.
I like him.
– Jessica.
I still can’t understand a word he says.
– Mr Carey.
Welcome J-man!
– Anna.
I think they like me!
– the J-man.
Michael’s secret
Emily and Jason
have done it.
They’ve kissed.
Yeah – lips,
open mouth,
spit and teeth everywhere.
I saw them.
Like two question marks
facing each other –
joined at the top.
Emily loves Jason,
and so does Jason
I reckon.
Soon it’ll be all round
the whole school
unless
we keep quiet about it.
That’s why
I’m only telling
you
and Peter
; and Anna
and Billy
and…
Emily
He’s kinda dreamy,
and handsome.
He’s like Brad Pitt
in Troy,
only he doesn’t wear a dress.
He’s quiet,
but that’s okay.
He listens.
And he kisses like
he kisses like
he kisses like…
Well.
He kisses good.
Okay!
Jason
She thinks I’m handsome!
And she says I look like Brad Pitt
but without the dress.
I hope she’s not imagining me naked!
She talks a lot,
but that’s great
because I don’t say much.
And I’m getting the hang
of this kissing thing.
It’s kinda nice –
I mean it’s not like playing soccer,
or eating lots of ice-cream,
or going to the movies on the weekend,
but,
like I said,
it’s kinda nice.
The Principal welcomes
our new secretary
Good morning, children.
Welcome to our Monday assembly.
There are a lot of messages today.
I expect you all to listen quietly
and I thank our new secretary,
Mr Jonesforthwalton,
for compiling this list
so quickly this morning.
Welcome to our school Mr J-F.
Sport is cancelled on Wednesday
because girls are advised
to wear hairnets in cooking class.
The canteen is offering sushi at lunchtime
and the winner gets a holiday to the Gold Coast.
The school raffle has a few tickets left
and remember the prize
is a Maths Competition after school.
Ms Park, the Year 5 teacher, warns everyone
that there are angry magpies nesting
in the trees near the oval,
so please
be careful of the bus passes in force from Monday.
The office staff will only issue late passes
to boys riding skateboards in the girls’ toilets.
Finally,
the two teachers caught kissing behind the gum trees
by those children from Year 4
are advised that next time
their parents will be informed
and detention is a certainty.
Newsletters will be posted on Tuesday,
and those items will be
confiscated and destroyed.