‘Jonie? Stop messing about.’
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Bella grabbed Jonie’s face with both hands, shaking it side to side.
Blood trickled from her ear. Jonie was silent.
What had she done? Bella staggered backwards, a sick feeling
rising.
She looked around her. No one else was there. No one had
seen what had happened.
Bella turned away from Jonie and pushed through the gap
in the hedge. She should get help. She had to get an ambulance.
As she emerged from the other side of the bushes, into
Blackstone Close, she hesitated. Maybe she should knock on
Creepy Cawley’s door. He’d be sure to come running out and
then she could tell him to call for help. But as she came to the
bungalow, she saw the truck had gone. He wasn’t in.
She had to go home. Her dad would know what to do. She
began running. With each pounding footstep, the words: Bella
killed Jonie, Bella killed Jonie, chanted in her ears.
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Chapter One Hundred and Five
2019
Anna
Friday 19th July
Muriel’s concerned face was the first thing Anna saw hovering
above her own when she came to.
‘Anna, love. You gave me a scare, fainting like that.’
Anna sat up. Everyone’s eyes were firmly on her. The last
words she’d heard before blackness enveloped her repeated in
her head: ‘ Anna killed Jonie Hayes. And Eric took the blame for what little Bella Fisher did.’
‘I – I don’t understand,’ she said. ‘How. Why?’ Anna stumbled
over the words. For all those years, she’d believed Billy Cawley
guilty of murdering Jonie. Moments ago, she’d discovered it was
really her father, Eric, who was the child killer. Now, suddenly, they were passing that label on to her. None of it made sense.
Even Lizzie, it seemed, was having trouble with this new infor-
mation.
‘Why didn’t you tell me this before?’ Lizzie’s brow furrowed
as she turned to look at Billy. ‘When you were supposedly
revealing the whole truth behind everything that went on. Why purposely leave out the fact the real killer was Anna?’
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to be revealed at the right time. Or what I thought was the right time. It’s a bit of a bombshell to drop on anyone.’
Anna couldn’t disagree there. But it was a bombshell she now
didn’t know how to handle. It was incomprehensible that she,
as a ten-year-old girl, would have the capability to kill another child. Billy must be wrong.
But neither Eric, nor Muriel, challenged Billy’s accusation.
So, it must be true.
‘How come you’re being so forgiving?’ Lizzie asked.
Billy’s face softened; his eyes closed as he took a long breath
in, then released it slowly. ‘I’ve had a long time to mull it all over – I’ve completed loads of rehabilitation programmes – and
even though I wasn’t the one who required it, or should’ve even
been in prison, I found them helpful. I learned new skills to
manage my emotions, and how to see things from different
perspectives. I put myself in others’ shoes and walked around
a little,’ Billy said. His eyes were focused on Eric. ‘You protected your daughter, something I wish I’d been able to do for Eliza.
I guess a part of me was jealous – and another part of me
admired you.’
‘But Billy – Dad – the Fisher family stitched you up! Made
you the suspect and then, through their lies and help from the
other hideous people of this village, ensured you were the one
to go down for it. I don’t get why you aren’t going to do anything about it. You’re armed with the truth now. Go tell the police!’
Lizzie said.
‘The truth will set you free,’ Billy said, smiling.
‘Exactly, so make sure everyone knows it wasn’t you.’
‘I am free, now. And the truth is out. Those who need to
know, do.’
‘Don’t you want to see Eric behind bars. Anna, even?’
‘Whoa, hold on,’ Muriel interjected. ‘You can’t do that. Anna
didn’t even know, not really. She was just a child. It was an
accident.’
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‘It’s okay, Lizzie,’ Billy said. He gave a weak smile, then laid a hand on her shoulder. ‘You’ve only just learned about this, so
it’ll take a long while for it to sink in. Longer before you realise I’m right in letting sleeping dogs lie. They’ve suffered already, believe me. Years of being trapped in their lies. And in many
ways, Eric has been a prisoner every bit as much as I was and
he all but lost his daughter too. My prison term has ended. His
won’t. And Anna’s is merely beginning. They don’t need bars.’
‘The right people should be punished – the person who
committed the murder should lose their freedom.’
‘I’ve done the time for it, Lizzie. I’m old now – I don’t see
the point of letting Anna go to prison – she’s got a daughter of
her own. I’m not going to be the one to rip the Fisher family
apart. I’m not as bad as them.’ Billy allowed his gaze to slowly
move over Muriel, then Eric and Anna. ‘And besides, I put the
ultimate decision into Tina’s hands—’
‘Wait, Tina knew it was me all along? Why didn’t she say
anything earlier?’ Anna said.
‘Yes, she suspected even before I put my theory to her. Right
from the off Tina had been angry with you and your mother
for not going straight to the police when you’d supposedly
witnessed Jonie getting into my truck. She didn’t buy the shock
story either. We talked at length, both during her visits to the
prison and in letters, about how she felt, what she wanted to
do.’
‘So she devised this bizarre Knock, Knock game to let us
know she knew, but that was it? That’s enough, is it? Seems
unlikely,’ Muriel said.
‘It might do to you. The important things to Tina were finding
her daughter’s body and ensuring those involved told, or were
forced to tell, the truth. It’s her who has decided to spare Anna.
And Eric and Muriel too. She’s the forgiving one; far more than
me. I’ve got the opportunity to resume my life. I can, perhaps . . .’
He looked to Lizzie. ‘Well, I can maybe finally have some kind
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of relationship with my daughter, look after her. Tina doesn’t have that. All I wanted was for her to be able to bury her child.
And now Eric will come good, won’t you, Eric?’ He turned his
attention back to her dad.
‘Yes. I’m so sorry, Anna. You were never meant to find out
– not like this.’
‘But she already knew,’ Lizzie said. ‘Anna knew she was the one who killed Jonie. What do you mean, she was never meant
to find out?’
‘The shock of what happened somehow caused her to bury
the memory of it,’ Muriel said.
Anna lowered her head, hearing a subtle, dismissive huff from
Billy’s direction.
‘How do you know that?’ Lizzie said.
‘Because she genuinely never appeared flustered when Jonie’s
death was spoken of. After she’d given her statement, it was as
if she began to believe Billy was the one who’d done it, not her.
I even began to believe it myself. I suppose the explanation I
gave, the one reported, was easier for her. Better than thinking
she took her friend’s life.’
‘ Did you remember, Anna? I mean, wasn’t there any recol-
lection of the events that day?’ Lizzie asked.
‘Yes. Yes, there was. But Mum’s right. I only really remembered
what I’d been told happened. Those were the memories I carried forward. Once I became Anna, too, I think that helped. I was
no longer Bella. Bella wasn’t a part of me. I didn’t want, or need her memories.’
‘What about now? Now you know it was you, hasn’t it
dislodged any memory of it?’
Anna’s mind conjured Jonie’s face – the massive lump jutting
from her forehead. She recalled her anger, the force behind her
kick. The sound of Jonie’s skull hitting the ground and seeing
the blood leak from her ear.
‘Not really, no,’ she said. The lie came easily. She’d spent a
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lifetime constructing the narrative – she wasn’t ready to let it go yet. She’d have to come to terms with this in her own time.
She didn’t owe Lizzie anything.
Even as she thought it, she knew she was wrong.
She owed these people everything. Her life. Carrie’s life.
How would she ever be able to move forward from this?
‘I think it’s time, now.’ Eric walked to Anna, giving her
shoulder a squeeze. ‘I’m so sorry, my girl. I’ll be back to see you later.’
Eric kissed Muriel on the cheek and walked out of the door.
Billy followed.
‘What are you going to do now?’ Anna asked Lizzie.
‘I need to see my husband.’
‘Do you think they’ve found her yet?’
It was three in the morning; the men had been gone for a
little over an hour. Muriel, despite being ready to drop earlier
and wanting her bed, had been sitting with Anna since everyone
had left, her arm wrapped as far around Anna’s body as it would
reach.
‘This doesn’t feel real, Mum.’
‘I know, love. I know.’ Muriel stroked Anna’s hair – the way
she used to when she needed comforting.
‘But, I’ve been so horrible to you. Said awful things about
Dad. All along you’d been keeping quiet to protect me.’
‘Yes. Some of the things you said were hurtful. The way you
treat me sometimes is like a kick in the teeth. But it’s my fault.
It wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for me. Things could’ve
been so different if I hadn’t started the ball rolling. My obsession with getting Billy Cawley out of Mapledon took over everything.
I lost sight of all that truly mattered. Because of it all, I lost your father, then you. But it’s your dad who took the brunt of
it all, having to go and find her, then dispose of her body. He
was broken. Broken because his darling little girl had done
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something so terrible, broken because he’d covered it up. He never could look you in the eye afterwards. He really did leave
because he loved you. I didn’t lie about that, Anna,’ Muriel said, giving Anna’s hand a squeeze.
‘There was no other woman?’
‘No. Never.’
‘Is that why you never took off your wedding ring?’
Muriel looked down at her hands, turning the gold band. ‘I
hated what happened, hated the fact he had to leave us. After
he left, it became a hideous nightmare – lies upon lies – in order to keep you from realising it’d been you who had killed Jonie
Hayes. I spent hours with you, talking about Billy and how he’d
abducted Jonie – trying to etch it into your mind, your memory.
Nell, too. She’d always been loyal to me. She was the only one
who knew it was you we were protecting.’
‘How could she have wanted to help protect me after she
found out it was me?’
‘You didn’t mean to kill Jonie – you told us about the fight.
It was an accident. Your father and I knew it, and so did Nell.
We all saw what Jonie was like. There were lots of things about
her that didn’t quite add up – she had a reputation, even at ten
– for being nasty. Looking back, we thought she’d shown tenden-
cies of a personality disorder. But Tina and Mark had ignored
her behaviour. Nell did have reservations about trying to pin it
on Billy. But she really was convinced he was guilty of abusing
Eliza – the way Robert had acted after being in the bungalow
that time had added to her belief, so she backed me. Always
stuck by the story, never wavering. Even tonight.’
‘Even after finding out about Reverend Farnley.’
‘I know. And I’m aware of what you and the others think of
me now. I really didn’t just let him get away with it, though. I
promise you. Once Billy was out of the picture I turned my
attention to him. Your dad was still here then, so he helped to
ensure Farnley moved on.’
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‘But other children, Mum – you could’ve prevented him from creating more victims if you’d reported him . . .’
‘I may not have handed him over to the police, and by then
I couldn’t have done that without the whole story I’d weaved
collapsing and your dad going to prison, but I did take what
was limited.’
‘How?’
‘I found out the parish he’d moved to, then anonymously
tipped them off. I told them just enough information to give
my accusation of paedophilia credence. His reputation was in
tatters; no real evidence was needed in the end, and then he had
a breakdown. The rest you know.’
‘Seems no real evidence is required these days,’ Anna said,
shaking her head.
‘In his case, it was deserved.’
‘But not in Billy’s case.’
‘No. No. Although I can’t say I wouldn’t do it again if I had
to,’ Muriel said. ‘If it meant protecting my family.’
Silence fell, then, while Anna struggled to take everything in.
The layers of lies. So many things niggled at her, and no doubt
over the coming days there’d be more. One of the things both-
ering her right now was how her mother had encouraged little
Bella and Jonie to be friends if what she said was true. If they
hadn’t been pushed together all the time, none of this would’ve
happened.
‘If you thought Jonie was bad news, why did you let me play
&nbs
p; with her?’
Muriel gave a sigh and shrugged. ‘Because I was best friends
with Tina. I wanted you two to be good friends as well.’ Muriel
dropped her head. ‘It made life easier; your father and I could
spend more time at Tina and Mark’s, or vice versa, if you two
played together.’
‘Right,’ Anna said. She had a feeling many answers to her
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questions would be ‘it made life easier’. She wanted to ask all the questions at some point. Anna was so tired now, her eyelids
felt like lead. She wasn’t sure she could wait for her father to
return with Billy. And Jonie’s body.
She shivered. ‘It does seem to keep coming back to you, Mum.
Not that I can blame you for my actions.’
‘Yes, it does. Don’t worry, I blame me too. I was so shocked
when you finally said you’d hurt Jonie, left her lying, not
breathing on the grass near the hedge the other side of Billy’s
cul-de-sac. When Eric came back, ashen-faced, and told me how
he’d found her, we weren’t confident enough that we could get
away with saying it was an accident. As awful as it is, I saw it
as an opportunity to get Billy – they were right about that. And
I’d much rather see him go down for murder than my daughter
or husband.’
‘Why didn’t Billy get Nell here? Let her know he was aware
of the full truth?’
‘Because I suppose he knew I was behind it. Back then I was
every bit as much of a bully as they considered Jonie to be. But
I was an adult – I should’ve known better. Tina, Billy, they
wanted me to be the one who paid the price. Not Nell. Not you.’
‘How do I ever live with the knowledge I killed her; that I’m
the child murderer, not Creepy Cawley?’
‘I can’t answer that, love. But until last week, you’d been
living a good life, doing good things. Continue doing that. Only
time will tell how you will deal with it. I’m sorry it came out,
I really am.’
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Epilogue
2019
Mapledon Church
Thursday 2nd August
The coffin was white. Tiny.
Tina Hayes walked beside Pat, her head bowed, as he carried
Jonie’s remains down the aisle.
She’d waited for thirty years to put her daughter to rest – to