The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen

  CHAPTER I

  [THE BARON IS SUPPOSED TO RELATE THESE ADVENTURES TO HIS FRIENDS OVER ABOTTLE.]

  _The Baron relates an account of his first travels--The astonishingeffects of a storm--Arrives at Ceylon; combats and conquers twoextraordinary opponents--Returns to Holland._

  Some years before my beard announced approaching manhood, or, in otherwords, when I was neither man nor boy, but between both, I expressed inrepeated conversations a strong desire of seeing the world, from whichI was discouraged by my parents, though my father had been noinconsiderable traveller himself, as will appear before I have reachedthe end of my singular, and, I may add, interesting adventures. Acousin, by my mother's side, took a liking to me, often said I wasfine forward youth, and was much inclined to gratify my curiosity.His eloquence had more effect than mine, for my father consented to myaccompanying him in a voyage to the island of Ceylon, where his unclehad resided as governor many years.

  We sailed from Amsterdam with despatches from their High Mightinessesthe States of Holland. The only circumstance which happened on ourvoyage worth relating was the wonderful effects of a storm, whichhad torn up by the roots a great number of trees of enormous bulk andheight, in an island where we lay at anchor to take in wood and water;some of these trees weighed many tons, yet they were carried by the windso amazingly high, that they appeared like the feathers of small birdsfloating in the air, for they were at least five miles above the earth:however, as soon as the storm subsided they all fell perpendicularlyinto their respective places, and took root again, except the largest,which happened, when it was blown into the air, to have a man and hiswife, a very honest old couple, upon its branches, gathering cucumbers(in this part of the globe that useful vegetable grows upon trees): theweight of this couple, as the tree descended, over-balanced the trunk,and brought it down in a horizontal position: it fell upon the chief manof the island, and killed him on the spot; he had quitted his housein the storm, under an apprehension of its falling upon him, and wasreturning through his own garden when this fortunate accident happened.The word fortunate, here, requires some explanation. This chief was aman of a very avaricious and oppressive disposition, and though he hadno family, the natives of the island were half-starved by his oppressiveand infamous impositions.

  The very goods which he had thus taken from them were spoiling in hisstores, while the poor wretches from whom they were plundered werepining in poverty. Though the destruction of this tyrant was accidental,the people chose the cucumber-gatherers for their governors, as a markof their gratitude for destroying, though accidentally, their latetyrant.

  After we had repaired the damages we sustained in this remarkable storm,and taken leave of the new governor and his lady, we sailed with a fairwind for the object of our voyage.

  In about six weeks we arrived at Ceylon, where we were received withgreat marks of friendship and true politeness. The following singularadventures may not prove unentertaining.

  After we had resided at Ceylon about a fortnight I accompanied one ofthe governor's brothers upon a shooting party. He was a strong, athleticman, and being used to that climate (for he had resided there someyears), he bore the violent heat of the sun much better than I could; inour excursion he had made a considerable progress through a thick woodwhen I was only at the entrance.

  Near the banks of a large piece of water, which had engaged myattention, I thought I heard a rustling noise behind; on turning aboutI was almost petrified (as who would not be?) at the sight of a lion,which was evidently approaching with the intention of satisfying hisappetite with my poor carcase, and that without asking my consent. Whatwas to be done in this horrible dilemma? I had not even a moment forreflection; my piece was only charged with swan-shot, and I had no otherabout me: however, though I could have no idea of killing such an animalwith that weak kind of ammunition, yet I had some hopes of frighteninghim by the report, and perhaps of wounding him also. I immediately letfly, without waiting till he was within reach, and the report did butenrage him, for he now quickened his pace, and seemed to approach mefull speed: I attempted to escape, but that only added (if an additioncould be made) to my distress; for the moment I turned about I found alarge crocodile, with his mouth extended almost ready to receive me. Onmy right hand was the piece of water before mentioned, and on my left adeep precipice, said to have, as I have since learned, a receptacle atthe bottom for venomous creatures; in short I gave myself up as lost,for the lion was now upon his hind-legs, just in the act of seizingme; I fell involuntarily to the ground with fear, and, as it afterwardsappeared, he sprang over me. I lay some time in a situation which nolanguage can describe, expecting to feel his teeth or talons in somepart of me every moment: after waiting in this prostrate situation a fewseconds I heard a violent but unusual noise, different from any soundthat had ever before assailed my ears; nor is it at all to be wonderedat, when I inform you from whence it proceeded: after listening forsome time, I ventured to raise my head and look round, when, to myunspeakable joy, I perceived the lion had, by the eagerness with whichhe sprung at me, jumped forward, as I fell, into the crocodile's mouth!which, as before observed, was wide open; the head of the one stuckin the throat of the other! and they were struggling to extricatethemselves! I fortunately recollected my _couteau de chasse_, which wasby my side; with this instrument I severed the lion's head at oneblow, and the body fell at my feet! I then, with the butt-end of myfowling-piece, rammed the head farther into the throat of the crocodile,and destroyed him by suffocation, for he could neither gorge nor ejectit.

  Soon after I had thus gained a complete victory over my two powerfuladversaries, my companion arrived in search of me; for finding I did notfollow him into the wood, he returned, apprehending I had lost my way,or met with some accident.

  After mutual congratulations, we measured the crocodile, which was justforty feet in length.

  As soon as we had related this extraordinary adventure to the governor,he sent a waggon and servants, who brought home the two carcases. Thelion's skin was properly preserved, with its hair on, after which itwas made into tobacco-pouches, and presented by me, upon our return toHolland, to the burgomasters, who, in return, requested my acceptance ofa thousand ducats.

  The skin of the crocodile was stuffed in the usual manner, and makes acapital article in their public museum at Amsterdam, where the exhibitorrelates the whole story to each spectator, with such additions as hethinks proper. Some of his variations are rather extravagant; one ofthem is, that the lion jumped quite through the crocodile, and wasmaking his escape at the back door, when, as soon as his head appeared,Monsieur the Great Baron (as he is pleased to call me) cut it off,and three feet of the crocodile's tail along with it; nay, so littleattention has this fellow to the truth, that he sometimes adds, as soonas the crocodile missed his tail, he turned about, snatched the _couteaude chasse_ out of Monsieur's hand, and swallowed it with such eagernessthat it pierced his heart and killed him immediately!

  The little regard which this impudent knave has to veracity makes mesometimes apprehensive that my _real facts_ may fall under suspicion, bybeing found in company with his confounded inventions.