Badlands, 1
Bakula, Scott, 1
balls, 1, 2, 3, 4
balls, hot wax on, 1
banana polish, 1
bangers, 1
Barb Wire, 1
BARE HANDS, 1
BARS SUDDENLY GOING SILENT, 1
Basic Instinct, 1
BASICALLY DECENT MEN, 1
Bat Out of Hell, 1
beast, confounded, 1
beef, peppery, 1
BEEFY BOTS, 1
behavior, normal male, 1
behemoths, make-up-caked, 1
BEING A COP, 1
BELIEVABILITY, 1
bellows, copper-nozzled, 1
Bennett, Tony, 1
Bergman, Ingmar, 1, 2
BETRAYAL, 1
Beverly Hills Cop, 1
Bible, Vol. 1, The, 1
BIG-DECISION STARES, 1
BIOPICS, 1
biscuits, air, 1
blacks, ninja, 1
bladder, fighting one’s, 1
blades, girlish shoulder, 1
blaming, lycanthropic, 1
bod, rock-hard, 1
bod, rocking, 1, 2
Body of Evidence, 1
Bond films (various), 1
boners, moments that make, 1
boners, sudden, 1
BONERS, UNSQUASHABLE, 1
BOOM-BOOM, LIFE-GIVING, 1
BORDERLESS ASS, 1
bottom, rock, 1
BRAWN, 1
breakfast roll, 1
BREAKING THINGS OFF MEANINGFULLY WITH FINANCIAL SWEETENERS, 1
brine, back tacky with, 1
Briskman, Skippy, 1, 2
BRITISH CINEMA, 1
British Films, 1, 2
British food, 1
Bronson, Charles, 1
brutality, prolonged, 1
buddies, butt-ton of, 1
buddy, bunk-up, 1
BUMMERS, 1
bums, despicable, 1
BURNT-OUT HOMES, 1
burritos, last few, 1
butane, lawyer high on, 1
butt, butt to, 1
butt, skin of, 1
Cage, Nicolas, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Cagney, Jimmy, 1
CALL, REFUSAL OF THE, 1
CALL, REFUSING THE REFUSAL OF THE, 1
CALL TO ACTION, 1
CALL TO ACTION (AS AN ACTUAL CALL), 1
Campbell, Joseph, 1
casino, secret basement, 1
Cassavetes, John, 1
CASTING, 1
CATHARSIS, 1
Chan, Jackie, 1
CHANGE, 1
change, chump, 1
CHANGES THAT ARE ACTUALLY PRETTY MAJOR, HUGE, 1
CHARACTER, 1
CHARACTER, SUPPORTING, 1
CHARACTER STUDIES, 1
Charlie’s Angels II: Full Throttle, 1
CHECKS IN EXCESS OF [ONE’S] ASS’S CREDIT ALLOWANCE, MOUTH-WRITING OF, 1
cheese, unweaponized, 1
CHEMICAL PLANT EXPLOSION, FAKING DEATH BY PRECIPITATING A, 1
chest, hot wax on, 1
Chinatown, 1
CHOPPPERS, 1
Christ, Jesus, 1
cirrus, shifting, 1
CITIES, IDEAL HEIGHTS FOR, 1
CITIES AS CHARACTERS, 1
Citizen Kane, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Click, 1, 2
CLINGY DRESSES, 1, 2
Cluedo, 1
Cocktail, 1
COLONICS, FLOWING, 1
COMMANDS, AMBIGUOUS, 1
complex, father, 1
CONFISCATION, HERO’S IMPLICITLY WIDE-RANGING POWERS OF, 1
conflict, bar-based, 1
congress, fatally potent, 1
congress, physical, 1
Connery, Sean, 1
Cop and a Half, 1
Cop Out, 1
Costner, Kevin, 1, 2, 3, 4
COSTUME, 1
COUNTDOWNS, 1
COUNTING ON PEOPLE, 1
COWARDLY PISTOL-PULLS, 1
creative well, aridity of, 1
crevice, cowering in a, 1
CRIME SYNDICATES, BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM WITHIN, 1
Cronenberg, David, 1
CRUELTY, 1
Cruise, Tom, 1, 2
Crystal, Billy, 1
Curb Your Enthusiasm, 1
CURLY HAIR, 1
Curse of the She-Wolf, 1
CURSES, 1
CUTS, 1
CUTTING TO THE CHASE, 1
Dafoe, Willem, 1
DARK CONTINENT, IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING A FIRM HAND ON THE TILLER W/R/T, 1
Darwin, Chuck, 1
DAUGHTERS, 1
Dawkins, Dickie, 1
dead non-Asian actors, prohibitive cost of revivifying, 1
DEALING WITH IT RODEO-STYLE, 1
DEATH THREATS AUDIBLE ONLY TO THE PROTAGONIST, 1
deep, ass, 1
deltoids, 1
demons, 1, 2
DEVIANCY, GLASSES AS INCONTROVERTIBLE SIGNIFIER OF, 1
DeVito, Danny, 1
DIALOGUE, 1
DIALOGUE WITH THEM, CHARACTERS HAVING A NAME AS PREREQUISITE FOR ENGAGING IN, 1
Diaz, Cameron, 1, 2
DiCaprio, Leonardo, 1
Die Hard, 1
DIPLOMAS, NON-DIDDLY, 1
DIRECTRESSES, 1
Dirty Harry, 1
Disney, 1, 2
distance, spitting from, 1
DON’T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE PLAY, 1
dramedy, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35
dramedy, brain-tumor, 1, 2
dramedy, cabin-crew, 1
dramedy, counter-communist, 1
dramedy, counter-insurgency, 1
dramedy, doorman, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
dramedy, home-depot, 1
dramedy, hostage, 1
dramedy, house invasion, 1
dramedy, Mafia, 1, 2
dramedy, medieval, 1, 2
dramedy, newspaper, 1
dramedy, space-vampire, 1, 2
dramedy, terminal illness, 1
dramedy, time-travel, 1
dresses, hot chicks in clingy, 1, 2, 3
DRIVING CARS THROUGH WALLS/WIRE FENCES/SHOP WINDOWS, 1
drowning, rectally resuscitating the near-victims of, 1
drug dealers, scumbag, 1
drum brushes, 1
dude, ethnically non-diverse cisgender, 1
dudes, butt-load, 1
dump, giant, 1
DUTY, 1
Dyson, the guy who invented the, 1
Eastwood, Clint, 1, 2, 3
EDUCATION, 1
empathy, people for whom we have no narrative, 1
EMPATHY, WITHHOLDING, 1
ENJOYMENT, WHAT IS, 1
Equalizer, The, 1
ETHNICITY VS
RELATABILITY, 1
evil, actual face of, 1
expectations, lifetime of tearing down, 1
EXPRESSIONS, 1
EYES, 1
eyes, fishermen w/sad, 1
fads, boner-killing, 1
FAITH, 1
fajita, chicken, 1
FAMILY, 1
FAT-CAT TYPES, REFUSING CIGARS FROM, 1
fecundity, 1
FEMALE DOCTORS/SCIENTISTS, 1
FEMINISM, 1
FEMMES FATALES, 1
fetish, sled, 1
FIGHT, MAN-ON-MAN, 1
FILM THEORY, 1
filmmaker, Ayoade as visionary, 1
Fincher, David, 1
finitude, whole continuum of, 1
Fire Down Below, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
FIRST LINES, 1
flak jacket, spew-flecked, 1
FLOPS, 1
flunky, felled, 1
flunky, top-level, 1
Fly, The, 1
foreign, tragedy of being born, 1
FOREIGN FILMS, 1
FOREIGN NATIONALS, 1
F
oreign Nationals, incomprehensible shrieks of, 1
FOULING FURROWS, 1
fountains, decaf mochaccino, 1
fracture, penile, 1
Fraggle Rock, 1
Freeman, Morgan, 1
frog, associated limitations of being, 1
FUCK, 1
fuck, plagiarizing stack of, 1
FUCKEDUPNESS, MID-POINT AS APEX OF, 1
fuckery, dumb, 1
FUCKS, IMPLIED, 1
fucks, lucky, 1
Gandhi, 1
GAPS IN THE MARKET, FINDING/EXPLOITING, 1
Garden, Tibetan Peace, 1
Gazzara, Ben, 1, 2, 3
gear (selection), 1
GENRE, 1
geometry, making time for, 1
gestures, sarcastic, 1
GETTING OFF YOUR ASS, 1
GETTING SHIT RIGHT UP TOP, 1
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, 1
Glasgow, 1, 2, 3
glockenspiel, waiting-room, 1
GOALS, USING MEMORIES OF A DECEASED RELATIVE TO HELP FOCUS ON ONE’S, 1
Godard, Jean-Luc, 1
Godfather, The, 1
GOING TO CHARACTER UNIVERSITY AS A MATURE STUDENT, 1
Goldblum, Jeff, 1
goon, Mob, 1
GRACIOUSNESS, UNIQUELY AMERICAN MODES OF, 1
Great Men (so-called), 1
Greggs, 1
ground, ass halfway to the, 1
ground, four mugs smashing to the, 1
guilt, hosing off, 1
gun, son of, 1
GUN-BARREL COOLING TIMES, APPROXIMATE, 1
gut, shooting from, 1
GUT TALK, 1
Guy, Non-Face, 1
GUY RITCHIE, THE COMPLETE WORKS OF, 1
Guys, Go-To, 1
HAILS OF EMPTY BULLET SHELLS, 1
hair, nasal, 1
Hamill, Mark, 1, 2, 3
hand sanitizer, 1, 2
HANDING OUT DIFFERENT THINGS, VARYING DIFFICULTY OF, 1
handjob, sarcasm during, 1
hands, bare, 1
Hard to Kill, 1
Harrison, George, 1
Hart, Kevin, 1
heart, the, 1, 2, 3, 4
heart, blue whale’s, 1
heat, putty gone soft in, 1
Hefner, Hugh, 1
‘HELL’ AS MINIMUM REQUIRED EFFORT LEVEL, 1
HELL DEPTHS, DIFFICULTY OF ACCURATELY MEASURING, 1
HERO, THE, 1
HERO’S INHERENT SUPERIORITY, CAMERA’S LOVING GAZE AS INDICATION OF, 1
He’s Just Not That into You, 1
HIGH-QUALITY BEEF, WOMAN’S INTUITIVE APPRECIATION OF, 1
Highlander, 1
hip, shooting from the, 1
history, poor credit, 1
Hitchcock, Alfie, 1
HOMELY WIVES, 1
HORACE AND PETE, 1
horseshit, sugared, 1
HOT GIRLS, 1
HOT TAMALES, PRIME PIECE OF BEEF’S ABILITY TO EASILY HANDLE, 1
HOT WAX ON BALLS, 1
HOTNESS, 1
HOTNESS, HOMELY, 1
HOTNESS, OVERWHELMING, 1
Hour of the Wolf, 1
house, your momma’s, 1
HOUSING, 1
HUMANITY, 1
hurt, swallowing, 1
hype, shrill hiss of, 1
IBS, persistent, 1
iCAL ALERTS, KILLING MACHINE’S INSOUCIANCE W/R/T, 1
ideas, lack of any real, 1
ILLITERACY, 1
ILLNESS, 1
IMPOSSIBILITY OF REMAINING PRESENT, THE, 1
impotence (as curse), 1
INDEPENDENT FILM, 1
INHERENT MORAL SUPERIORITY OF THE HERO, THE, 1
INHERENT UNBREAKABILITY OF GRUNTS, THE, 1
INIQUITY, REFRESHMENTS FILLED WITH, 1
Inside Out, 1
insight, forehead rammed full of, 1
INTERPRETATION, 1
ire, quelling, 1
IS IT ACTUALLY COMPLICATED, OR ARE YOU JUST MAKING A MEAL OF IT?, 1
IT, DEALING WITH, 1
It’s a Wonderful Life, 1
jacket, ass, 1, 2
Jagger, Mick, 1, 2
Jaws, 1
Jaws: The Revenge, 1
jeep, 1, 2, 3, 4
JESUS, 1
JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR, 1
jodhpurs, 1
Jovi, Jon Bon, 1
JUNGLE, DIFFICULTY OF NARRATIVELY TOPPING NAPALMING A, 1
JUSTICE, 1
justice, using kung fu to deliver on-the-spot corrective, 1
Kael, Pauline, 1
Kelly, Grace, 1, 2
KILL OPPORTUNITIES, MAKING THE MOST OF, 1
KILLING, 1
killing, small items that facilitate, 1
KILLING SPREE, SETTING THE RIGHT ATMOSPHERE ON A, 1
Kindergarten Cop, 1
Kingsley, Sir Benny, 1
KISSING, 1
KNOWING YOUR ASS, 1
Kristofferson, Kris, 1, 2, 3
Kutcher, Ashton, 1
Lambert, Christopher, 1, 2
LANGUAGE, 1
LaSure, Gordy, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Lawrence, Jennifer, 1
Lawrence of Arabia, 1, 2
Legally Blonde, 1
Leigh, Mike, 1
Lennon, John, 1, 2
lids, best time to flip, 1
LIFE, SCHOOL OF, 1
LIFE, STUPID, 1
linchpin, Mob, 1
LINES, STRIDING FORWARD PURPOSEFULLY IN, 1
‘Livin’ on a Prayer’, 1
LOGLINE, 1
logs, Yule, 1
lonely, lubed up and, 1
LONG PRE-TRIGGER-PULL GLOATS, 1
LONG ROUSING SPEECHES, THE PYRRHIC CONSOLATIONS OF, 1
LONG-TERM RENTAL AGREEMENTS, UNHEROIC NATURE OF, 1
Look Who’s Talking, 1
love, absolutely conditional nature of, 1
LOVE INTEREST, FAILURES OF COMPREHENSION WITHIN THE, 1
LOVEMAKING, 1
loyalty, blind, 1
Lundgren, Dolph, 1, 2, 3, 4
McCartney, Paul, 1
McConaughey, Matthew, 1, 2
McG, 1, 2, 3, 4
McGUFFIN, 1
McQueen, Steve (actor), 1
McQueen, Steve (not actor), 1
Mad Max, 1
Madonna, 1, 2, 3
MAKING LOVE AL FRESCO ON AN INCLINE, 1
Malick, Terry, 1, 2
Mall Cop, 1
Man from U.N.C.L.E., The (Guy Ritchie version), 1
Man, Man’s, 1, 2
maniacs, importance of refusing cigars proffered by genocidal, 1
MANNING UP, ACTING LIKE A BOSS AS A WAY OF, 1
MAN’S BUSINESS, 1
MANUAL STIMULATION, SARCASM DURING, 1
Marked for Death, 1
Martin, George, 1
Marvel, 1
MASSIVE LOVELY ARMS, 1
master, private fountain of a, 1
mat, splash, 1
match, squash, 1
matriarchy, the prevailing, 1
meat, shimmering pool of, 1
meatus, urinary, 1
MEDIEVAL DRAMA, 1
MEDIEVAL DRAMA SCRIPTS: BEGETTING THEM RIGHT, 1
MENTORS, 1
mépris, Le, 1
mercy, withholding, 1
mescaline, 1
META, 1
MEXICAN GANG MEMBERS, 1
Michael, George, 1
MINIATURE PIGS, INCREASED RISK OF DEATH W/R/T, 1
MINOR VILLAINS, 1
modesty sheet, 1
MOMMAS, VARYING META LEVELS OF, 1
money, butt-load, 1
montage, diarrhea, 1
Montana, taco tour of, 1
MORE THAN ONE ASIAN PERSON, 1
MOTHERFUCKERS, ILLITERATE-CALLIN’, 1
MOVEMENT, 1
MOVIE, IS IT A, 1
Mrs Henderson Presents, 1
mugs, peri
lously overfilled, 1
MULTIPLE NARRATIVE, 1
multiverse, 1
MUSICAL JUXTAPOSITIONS, TOTALLY RADICAL, 1
MUSTACHES, 1
mustaches/beards, the HERO’s cavalier attitude w/r/t reusing fake, 1
MUSTY, 1
MYSTERY, 1
nail-polish remover, 1
NAZIS: WHEN FACIAL HAIR FAILS TO HUMANIZE, 1
Neeson, Liam, 1
NEXT-LEVEL VIGNETTE, 1
Nichols, Mike, 1
NINJA BLACKS, 1
nips, hot wax on, 1
NLVs, 1
NON-AMERICAN MOVIES, 1
NON-HERO TYPES, CONSISTENT SEXUAL INADEQUACY OF, 1
NON-VIOLENT MEN, INHERENT CREEPINESS OF, 1
NON-WHITES, 1
NOVELS VS MOVIES, 1
OBLIGATION, PERFUNCTORY CONGRESS WITH NON-HERO TYPE OUT OF A SENSE OF, 1
OBSTACLE, WOMAN AS, 1
OLDER MEN, INHERENT COOL OF, 1
Olympus (salon district), 1
ONE-TO-ONE FINAL BOSS CONFRONTATIONS, 1
OPENINGS, 1
OPPOSITES, 1
OSCARS, THE, 1
OWNING YOUR TITS (AS A MAN), 1
Pacino, Al, 1, 2
PACKING SMART FOR A REVENGE MISSION, 1
PAIN, 1
PAIN-IN-THE-ASS WIVES, 1
Paltrow, Gwyneth, 1, 2, 3, 4
panda, kabuki, 1
pants, camo, 1
pants, drop-crotch trucker, 1
PARADOX, 1
parameters, rejecting, 1
PARTIES, 1
PARTY, DOUCHE-Y YOUNG GUY AT THE, 1
PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON’S MAGNOLIA AND WHY A RAIN OF FROGS CAN’T REALLY BE CONSIDERED ‘RAIN’, 1
PAY, WHY, 1
peach cobbler, 1
PEOPLE, 1
people, butt-load, 1
PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO FAT TO CARE ABOUT, 1
perimeter, wet, 1
Persaud, Dr Raj, 1
person, near impossibility of conducting a bank transaction with an actual, 1
Persona, 1
perspiration, persistent, 1
peyote, bellyful, 1
PHONE THREATS, 1
pig, miniature, 1
Pitt, Brad, 1, 2
PITY LAY, 1
Plato (Greek philosopher), 1, 2
POINT OF VIEW, 1
Polanski, Roman, 1
policemen, scumbag, 1
POLO NECKS, 1
pond, polystyrene crust on a, 1
Porky’s, 1
portcullises, rapidly dropping, 1
portfolio, dwindling property, 1
POSTERS, 1
POST-TRAUMA SHOWERS, 1
POWER, 1
POWER STRIDES, SLOWMOTION, 1
POWERFUL MEN VS THEIR WEAK SONS, 1
Predator, 1
PRISON RAPE, 1
PRISON RAPE, HUMOROUS INTIMATIONS OF, 1
PRIVATE CRIES, 1
proctologist, favorite, 1
prose, anachronistic abstraction of, 1
psychodramas, physicalizing, 1
pull, locating the ring, 1