And my plan is to give her exactly what she needs. To set her free emotionally. To tell her I care about her. Wish her well. Pledge my protection and assistance if she ever needs it in the future.
But I’m putting off that conversation because the burn of losing her is like an acid eating me from the inside out. I can’t stop obsessing over her. Remembering every single moment we spent together. Seeing all the places I could have treated her better. Shared more. Let her in.
She wanted to come to Chicago. I should have invited her. She wanted to know me better; she was jealous of Sasha’s proximity. I should have made sure she never felt jealous again. That she held all my most sacred secrets.
Most of all, I regret not telling her what she meant to me. That I wanted to keep her—permanently. I keep wondering if it would have made a difference. Probably not, but I’m second guessing.
I get my mom settled in a one-bedroom in the Kremlin and introduce her to Svetlana, the midwife and her daughter, Natasha, the massage therapist. Svetlana is well-respected in the building and promised to introduce my mother to everyone and make sure she settles in. Surprisingly, this is the happiest I’ve seen my mother. Ever. I think she really bought into the new start thing once we packed up her shit and left her place. She’s seemed hopeful ever since.
When I get up to the penthouse, I’m stupid with jetlag and exhaustion.
Natasha comes out of Dima’s room, blushing. I’d be happy the asshole finally hooked up with her, but I’m too dead to feel anything.
I walk into the kitchen to raid the refrigerator, and Sasha launches herself from the couch and comes at me.
“What in the hell is wrong with you?” she demands. She stalks into the kitchen and gets right up into my face. “Kayla is suffering, and you won’t even call her back.” She points a finger in my face.
I catch her wrist. “What do you mean, suffering?” I demand, alarm sharpening my exhausted brain.
Maxim enters the kitchen and stands behind Sasha. “Let go of my wife,” he growls.
I release Sasha before I get punched in the face.
“Ashley called me to say she won’t get out of bed. She hasn’t eaten. She cries all the time.” Sasha gives my chest a poke. “I told you not to hurt her.”
The alarms in my head have turned to full sirens.
I can only stare at my furious suitemate as the thoughts connect and disconnect in my head. And then I’m out the door and heading for the airport.
Kayla
After Sheri, Ashley, and Kimberly forced me out of bed and into the shower, I left the apartment to go on a drive to be alone.
Last night when they tried to get me to eat by plying me with ice cream, I broke down and told them the whole story—about what Blake Ensign did. Pavel’s solution. The part I got as a result. How I broke up with him and then later found out he was planning to move here to be with me.
If I weren’t so depressed, I would have a bitter laugh over the irony that they turned Team Pavel after hearing the story.
At least we’re all in agreement that I fucked up.
I don’t have a destination in mind, but I find myself down at the pier. My thinking place. The place I go when I’m ready to give up.
I guess that means subconsciously I don’t want to give up on my relationship with Pavel. And yet, I have to. I find a place to park and walk down to the end of the pier. A bench is open, and I plop down onto it.
I listen to the sound of the waves and the seagulls. The din of voices around me. My face grows wet with quiet tears.
Breaking you was always my worst fear, Blossom.
I hear Pavel’s voice in my head and lean into the sound.
What is he saying?
The person on the bench beside me reaches out to touch my shoulder, and I jerk my head up to tell them I’m fine.
“Pavel?” I wipe my tears, blinking rapidly. “You’re here?”
He picks up my hand and pulls it to his lips. “I’m here, beautiful.”
“Are you taking me back?” I realize how pathetic and desperate I sound. “I’m sorry--I… what are you doing here?”
“Come here.” He reaches for my waist and pulls me to straddle his lap, my shins resting on the bench, my arms tangled around his neck. “I told you I wouldn’t lie to you, Kayla, but I did. I lied when I said I’d let you go.” He shakes his head. “You’re mine, blossom. Nothing can change that.”
“I thought…” The lack of food and sleep in the past week is doing a number on my brain. I can’t seem to understand what’s happening. “Did you move to Russia?”
“No, little flower. I moved my mother to Chicago. I’m sorry, my phone was off the entire time I was there, and I didn’t get your messages until today.”
“You moved your mother…” I clap a hand over my mouth and laugh hysterically. “I thought you were gone forever.”
“I intended to stay away, beautiful, but I just can’t. I meant it when I said you’re everything to me. There’s just no reason to exist except for you.”
“Pavel.” I choke on a sob and strangle him with my hug.
He rubs my back and presses a kiss on my neck.
“I was wrong to doubt us. I love you, Pavel. I’m scared by how much I need you, but rejecting your help where I most needed it was cutting off my nose to spite my face. The truth is, I don’t even care about my career anymore. You’re what’s important to me.”
“No,” he says sharply. “I won’t allow that. Your career comes first. That’s why I’m moving here, so I can support you better.”
Now I cry like a baby. “I want you here,” I agree. “I really want that.”
“You’ll have it. You’ll have everything you want from me. I promise.”
“I don’t want safe words for this relationship,” I tell him.
He arches a brow.
“No exits. No outs. Neither of us gets to call red.”
His lips slowly stretch into a smile. “I won’t let you go again, little flower. You belong to me, and I’ll never release you. Not even in death.”
I kiss him. “Promise?”
His gaze is a warm caress on my face. “I promise,” he murmurs.
Epilogue
Pavel
We close on the apartment building on a beautiful June day. Sasha and Kayla both look like movie stars in their short shorts, high heels, and sunglasses snapping a selfie in front of it for Sasha’s Instagram. I stand back and watch, hardly believing it’s all real. That it happened so easily.
That’s what life with Kayla is like—easy. She makes me feel like a god with her total surrender, her belief in me, her bright, happy smiles any time I’m near.
Maxim stands beside me, his gaze on Sasha soft.
“Thank you, brother. I still can’t believe you did this for me.”
“It’s a worthwhile investment,” Maxim says. “And you’re family.”
Family.
In the bratva, we are supposed to break all ties to our former families and swear allegiance only to the brotherhood. That’s one of the reasons I was sent away for killing my father. I wasn’t supposed to be looking in on my mother any more.
Until Kayla cracked open my blackened heart, I didn’t allow myself to truly acknowledge or receive the benefits of brotherhood. Of men who would do anything for me--not just kill or die, but shape me, mold me, and launch me back into the world with an opportunity to make something more of myself.
I’m humbled by the support they’ve given me--all of them.
Ravil’s terms were easy. I still belong to him. When he needs something, I’ll do it. For the moment, he hasn’t made any requests, but when he does, I won’t balk. I won’t hesitate to serve the pahkan who deserves all my respect and honor.
“Let’s go open this bottle of Dom Perignon,” Sasha says, holding up the bottle clutched in her fist and waving two glasses with the other hand.
Maxim holds up the two he was tasked with carrying. “Right behind you,” he says.
“Wait, wait!” I call, jogging forward.
The women stare at me like I have two heads. I reach Kayla and scoop her up into a honeymoon carry. “Isn’t this how you do it?” I ask, carrying her through the doorway.
She giggles and kisses my neck. “Thank you, Master,” she purrs in my ear.
I try to will away the boner that breathy honorific gives me.
We take the elevator to the rooftop because all the units are currently rented, a condition we don’t want to mess with for the moment. Next month Kayla and I will be able to move into the penthouse suite and start remodeling it, but for now, the cash generated from rent will go into the building upgrades. Maxim and Sasha own the building outright and aren’t requiring me to pay a cent toward that expense. I’ll manage the property and upgrades and split the profits from it with them. If or when they choose to sell it, they’ll split the gains with me. Maxim and I did a gentleman’s handshake on the deal because we’re bratva brothers. Brothers don’t solve things in courts. If something goes wrong, the grievance will be dealt with in blood. To me, this means nothing will go wrong. We deal in honor, and both of us will honor our commitments.
I don’t put Kayla down, not until we’re out on the rooftop. “Welcome to our new home,” I say.
She lifts her lips for a kiss. “You did this,” she murmurs. “You make impossible things possible.”
My chest grows tight and my eyes burn for a moment. I know she’s talking about the part, too, which she’s forgiven me for. She’s been filming for the show and finding her place in a new and exciting world at the studio.
“You,” is all I can say. I can hardly take how beautiful she looks with those eyes shining up at me, the California sun sparkling over the pool behind her.
Maxim pops the cork on the champagne, drawing us from our intimate moment. He pours four glasses and hands them around.
“To Pavel and Kayla,” Sasha says. “Keep her happy, or you’re a dead man.”
I clink glasses with Kayla, drinking in the gift of her adoring gaze. “She’s my reason for living,” I murmur.
Kayla’s lips part and she draws in a shaky breath. “He is my happiness,” she murmurs back, neither of us breaking our locked gaze.
“Aw,” Sasha says, and I hear the sound of her kissing Maxim.
I loop my arm around Kayla and draw her up against me. “To Maxim and Sasha. Thank you for believing in me enough to make this new venture possible.”
“Yes, to Maxim and Sasha,” Kayla repeats warmly.
All four of us clink glasses together and then drain them.
“Group hug,” Sasha calls.
I roll my eyes, because I’m the last guy who would ever join a group hug, but Kayla propels me forward and we join arms in a circle, the ladies laughing and jostling us around.
“I love you guys,” Sasha says as we break apart.
I can’t say it back, because my throat closes, but Kayla squeezes my waist. “We love you, too. Thank you so much for everything.”
We walk to the edge of the rooftop as a group and watch the sun lower in the sky until the giant ball paints the sky in red, pink and orange.
I press against Kayla’s back and breath in her spring meadow scent, humbled by how much beauty is in my life.
Thank you for reading The Soldier. If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a review—they make such a difference for indie authors. For a special bonus epilogue featuring the premiere of Kayla’s television series, be sure to join Renee’s mailing list. Stay tuned for Dima’s story next—I have all kinds of surprises in store for him and his twin.
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Other Titles by Renee Rose
Chicago Bratva
“Prelude” in Black Light: Roulette War
The Director
The Fixer
“Owned” in Black Light: Roulette Rematch
The Enforcer
The Soldier
The Hacker
Vegas Underground Mafia Romance
King of Diamonds
Mafia Daddy
Jack of Spades
Ace of Hearts
Joker’s Wild
His Queen of Clubs
Dead Man’s Hand
Wild Card
More Mafia Romance
Her Russian Master
Contemporary
Daddy Rules Series
Fire Daddy
Hollywood Daddy
Stepbrother Daddy
Master Me Series
Her Royal Master
Her Russian Master
Her Marine Master
Yes, Doctor
Double Doms Series
Theirs to Punish
Theirs to Protect
Holiday Feel-Good
Scoring with Santa
Saved
Other Contemporary
Black Light: Valentine Roulette
Black Light: Roulette Redux
Black Light: Celebrity Roulette
Black Light: Roulette War
Black Light: Roulette Rematch
Punishing Portia (written as Darling Adams)
The Professor’s Girl
Safe in his Arms
Paranormal
Two Marks Series
Tempted
Wolf Ranch Series
Rough
Wild
Feral
Savage
Fierce
Ruthless
Wolf Ridge High Series
Alpha Bully
Alpha Knight
Bad Boy Alphas Series
Alpha’s Temptation
Alpha’s Danger
Alpha’s Prize
Alpha’s Challenge
Alpha’s Obsession
Alpha’s Desire
Alpha’s War
Alpha’s Mission
Alpha’s Bane
Alpha’s Secret
Alpha’s Prey
Alpha’s Sun
Shifter Ops
Alpha’s Moon
Alpha’s Vow
Alpha’s Revenge
Midnight Doms
Alpha’s Blood
His Captive Mortal
Alpha Doms Series
The Alpha’s Hunger
The Alpha’s Promise
The Alpha’s Punishment
The Winter Storm: An Ever After Chronicle
Sci-Fi
Zandian Masters Series
His Human Slave
His Human Prisoner
Training His Human
His Human Rebel
His Human Vessel
His Mate and Master
Zandian Pet
Their Zandian Mate
His Human Possession
Zandian Brides
Night of the Zandians
Bought by the Zandians
Mastered by the Zandians
Zandian Lights
Kept by the Zandian
Claimed by the Zandian
Stolen by the Zandian
Other Sci-Fi
The Hand of Vengeance
Her Alien Masters
Regency
The Darlington Incident
Humbled
The Reddington Scandal
The Westerfield Affair
Pleasing the Colonel
Western
His Little Lapis
The Devil of Whiskey Row
The Outlaw’s Bride
Medieval
Mercenary
Medieval Discipline
Lords and Ladies
The Knight’s Prisoner
Betrothed
Held for Ransom
The Knight’s Seduction
The Conquered Brides (5 book box set)
Renaissance
Renaissance Discipline
About Renee Rose
USA TODAY BESTSELLING AUTHOR RENEE ROSE loves a dominant, dirty-talking alpha hero! She's sold over a million copies of steamy romance with varying levels of kink. Her books have been featured in USA Today's Happily Ever After and Popsugar. Named Eroticon USA's Next Top Erotic Author in 2013, she has also won Spunky and Sassy's Favorite Sci-Fi and Anthology author, The Romance Reviews Best Historical Romance, and has hit the USA Today list eight times with her Bad Boy Alpha and Wolf Ranch series, as well as various anthologies.
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