Copyright © 2012 by Renee D. Petrillo. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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This book is dedicated to all those dreamers out there. That includes people with adventurous souls and an insatiable curiosity. Or if you’re like my husband, someone who lives with such a person. To all you nontraditionalists and nonconformists (even if you just wish you were), this one is for you.
It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.
—J. K. ROWLING
You do not ask a tame seagull why it needs to disappear from time to time toward the open sea. It goes, that’s all.
—BERNARD MOITESSIER
Pee to the lee!
—UNKNOWN,
but pretty sure it was a male
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed in the things that you didn’t do than the ones you did do, so throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover!
—MARK TWAIN
I’d rather be in my boat, with a drink on the rocks than in the drink, with my boat on the rocks.
—UNKNOWN, seen on a T-shirt
Contents
Lessons
Nautical Mumbo-Jumbo
Preface
Contemplating the Plunge
1 Whose Idea Was This Anyway?
2 Monohulls vs. Catamarans
Monohulls
Catamarans
Safety for Catamarans and Monohulls
Still Not Sure?
3 Let’s Buy a Boat
Research Makes Perfect
Who’s Paying?
The Process
So What Happened Next?
4 The Best-Laid Plans
5 Ahoy, Matey!
What’s in a Name?
Thanks … I Think
Final Preparations
Casting Off
6 And We’re Off—Not
Need Fuel?
So Thirsty
Energize Me
7 Bahamas Here We Come!
Tacking
Back on Track
Exploring the Islands
8 Welcome to the Bahamas!
Great Sale Cay
Allans-Pensacola Cay
Green Turtle Cay
What Do You Mean You’re Leaving Us?
Who’s in Charge Here?
A Quick Note About Charts and Navigation
9 Becoming Green Turtle (Abacos) Bahamas Residents
Who Anchored This Thing?
If One Anchor Is Good, Two Is Better, Right?
Making Friends
Brrrr on Green Turtle
Not Again!
Thankful on Thanksgiving
The Whale (Cue the Suspense Music)
After the Whale
What Did We Learn Here?
10 Breaking Free!
Ping-Ponging Around the Rest of the Abacos
Becoming One with the Abacos
11 You Can’t Go Home Again
12 Back to the Abacos: Practicing and Fixing, Fixing and Practicing
Sailors in Training
Fixing Things in Exotic Locations
I See Another Pep Talk Coming
Final Days in the Abacos
13 Good-Bye, Abacos, Hello, Exumas (in the Central Bahamas)
Royal Island
Allen’s Cay
Hawksbill Cay
Warderick Wells Cay
Compass Cay
Big Majors Spot and Staniel Cay
Black Point Settlement, Great Guana Cay (Yes, Another One)
14 A Milestone Is Reached–George Town (Bahamas)
Long Island
George Town—Part II
Guess It’s Time to Stop Pussyfooting Around and Get Out of Here
What Broke?
16 Turks and Caicos–Definite Possibilities
East Caicos
Grand Turk
Big Sand Cay
What Broke?
17 The Dominican Republic—Island A+, Anchorage F−
Life on Luperon and Beyond
Road Trip!
Who Invited Hurricane Dean?
Break Out the Tissues
Hurricane Season? What Hurricane Season? We’re Leaving
What Broke?
18 Our Longest Sail Ever—Adios, Dominican Republic!
19 Hola, Puerto Rico! The United States on Island Time
A Tour of the Southern Coast—First Up, Cabo Rojo
La Parguera
Coffin Island
Salinas
Puerto Patillas
Cayo Santiago
Isla Palominos
What Broke?
Let’s Talk Anchor Rode
20 If We Can�
�t Be Virgins, Then Let’s Go to Them (the Islands, That Is)
Spanish Virgin Islands
U.S. Virgin Islands
British Virgin Islands
Gobble Gobble on Tortola
Final Moments with the Virgins
What Broke?
21 Bonjour! Welcome to St. Martin (and a Quickie to St. Barths and Anguilla)
St. Martin: The Prequel
St. Martin: Redo
Work, Work, Work
Play, Play, Play
Back to Work
What Broke?
22 Island Hopping to Saba, Statia, and St. Kitts and Nevis (Islands That Brush the Clouds)
Saba
What Broke?
Statia (St. Eustatius)
What Broke?
St. Kitts (St. Christopher)
Nevis—The First Time
Back to St. Kitts
What Broke?
Nevis as a Launching Pad to Antigua
What Broke?
23 A Stowaway on Antigua
What Broke?
24 Graffiti and Guadeloupe
What Broke?
25 Oh When Des Saintes
What Broke?
26 Lush-Ous Dominica
What Broke?
27 Martinique Gets a Quickie
What Broke?
28 Was That St. Lucia?
What Broke?
29 Reverse Course—Back to Antigua!
Dominica
Guadeloupe
Antigua
What Broke?
30 And Back Down Again on the Jacumba Express
What Broke?
31 Coo-Coo for Carriacou
32 From Miami to Grenada: Who’d Have Believed It?
Island Fun
Hauling Out and DIY
What Broke?
33 St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Otherwise Known as Paradise
Carriacou
Sandy Island
Back to Carriacou
Union Island
Tobago Cays
Canouan
Bequia
Mustique
St. Vincent
Bequia (Again)
Tobago Cays (Again)
Union Island (Again)
Mayreau
St. Vincent (Again)
34 Solo Sailor on Grenada
And He’s Gone
A Trinidad Quickie
Back to Grenada
Solo Sailing
He’s Back
Waiting Out Hurricane Season
A Brief Respite
It’s Time
What Broke?
35 The Final Run
The Grenadines to St. Lucia
Dominica
Les Saintes to Guadeloupe
Montserrat
Nevis and St. Barths
What Broke?
36 Hurry Up and Wait
37 Is This It?
Onshore
A Visitor!
Work, Work, Work
38 Maybe, but Let’s Go to Barbuda for a Look-see
What Broke?
39 It Was a Bad Sail; It Was a Good Sail
Spinnaker R.I.P.
Landlubbers Again
40 You’re Hired, We’re Home (Sort of)
Back On Board
What Broke?
41 Sell, Sell, Sell!
Who’s at the Helm?
Meet Ana and Bill
Happy Feet
42 Sold … Based on Survey
Another Survey Story
43 D Is for Deflated, Dispirited, Depressed
44 Change That to Delighted, Delirious, Disembarking!
Our Last Tropical Storm!
Our Last Shark Sighting!
Our Last Boat Bottom Scrubbing!
Our Last Deck Scrubbing!
Our Last Intruder!
Our Last Peeping Toms!
Our Last Boat Payment!
Our Last Night of Lasts
45 Where Are We Now?
Now It’s Your Turn
46 Time to Take the Plunge
47 Observations and Lists
General Thoughts
Tips
The End
Appendix: How We Chose Our Island
Acknowledgments
Index
Lessons
1 Own Up
2 Don’t Ever Assume Anything
3A Know Whose Side Your Broker’s On
3B Become a Boat Broker
4 Pictures Lie and So Do the People Who Take Them
5 Shop Around, Be Patient, and Trust Your Instincts
6 Don’t Panic
7 Your Eyes Should Not Be Bigger Than Your Wallet
8 Don’t Completely Abandon Your Ship
9 Sh** Happens
10 Ca Ching!
11 Past Employers Are Your Friends
12 Voodoo Is Real
13 Be Afraid
14 Can You Hear Me Now?
15 Build Good Karma
16A You Can Never Have Enough Spares
16B Be Shipshape
17 You Cannot Have Too Much Stuff!
18 You Will Wait for Weather—A Lot
19 Is It You?
20 Neptune Has a Strange Sense of Humor
21 Bigger Is Better
22 No, You Do Not Like It Rough
23 Trust Your Instincts
24 Size Does Matter
25 Let Me See Some ID
26 Role Play
27 There Cannot Be Two Captains
28A Books Are Your Friend
28B Keep Your Friends Current
29 Need Drugs? Stock Up!
30 Anchoring Is an Art
31 Fun Is Important!
32A Dinghies Have Anchors Too
32B About-face
33 The Tide Is High?
34 Use People
35 Stay Tuned
36 Dinghies Are Engines Too
37 Pickup Lines
38 Everyone’s an Expert
39 Do Not Drink and Drive
40 Don’t Be Sheep
41 To Sail, You Need Your Sail Up!
42 Pull the Plug
43 Get a Hearing Aid
44 Go with the Flow
45 Use Protection
46 Safety First
47 Patience, Patience, Patience
48 It’s Not Heavy, It’s Your Anchor
49 Do Your Homework
50 If It Smells Like a Fish …
51A Make Sure All Systems Are Go
51B Do the Same for Your Engine
52 Keep Your Balance
53 Don’t Force It
54 Check and Double-check
55 Paging Al Roker
56 Get Wheels
57 Be a Pessimist
58 Recycle!
59 Trash Talk
60 Déjà Vu
61 Stop and Smell the Roses (or Sand)
62 Avoid Shark Week
63 Don’t Always Go by the Book
64 Birds of a Feather …
65 The 15-Minute Rule
66 Get a Beeper
67 Don’t Be a Snob
68 Hide Your Bling
69 There Is Safety in Numbers
70 Did Someone Call a Doctor?
71 Calling Dr. Kevorkian
72 Become a Storm Chaser
73 Anchoring Can Be a Drag
74 Get Used to Anchor Diving
75 Become a Grocery Store Connoisseur
76 Don’t Hold Your Breath
77 Boating Isn’t for Hermits Anymore
78 Dinghy Lessons
79 Double-Bag It
80 Investigate
81 Play Bikers for a Day
82 Don’t Be Fooled
83 Don’t Be Too Proud to Turn Around
84 Ignition a Go
85 Swimming Lessons
86 Put a Reef in It!
87 Be Flexible
88 Turn Out the Lights
89 Prop Check
90 Checks and Balances
91 Just Say No!
92 Aim Down!
93A Shut Up!
93B Location, Location
94 Strap It Down
95A The Anchorages Have Ears
95B Sound Carries
96 Don’t Be a Dumb-Ass
97 Think Ahead
98 It’s Not Easy Being Green
99A Spinnakers!
99B Think Before You Climb
100 Keep It Simple
101 Inspect Your Gadgets (and Gear)
102 Be Ballbusters
103 You Are Never Alone
104 Know Your Banker
105 Do It Yourself
106 Watch Your Mouth
Nautical Mumbo-Jumbo
Just like every hobby or sport, sailing has its own lingo. Some terms are used interchangeably and can get a bit confusing, so I thought I’d address a few here. A jib and a genoa (genny) are the same thing—a front sail. Usually a genny is bigger than a jib though. Ropes in particular are renamed according to their function. If ropes adjust the wind in your sails, they’re called sheets. Then they can be mainsheets (for the main!) or jibsheets (when adjusting your front sail). If the rope will put your sail up/down or in/out you’re talking about a halyard. If you’re lucky, your boat will have lazy jacks, which are ropes that run the length of your mast and help guide your mainsail down into a nice, orderly pile on your boom (the horizontal metal or wood beam that holds the bottom of your mainsail taut when it’s up or stores it when it’s down). The rope you use to tie off your dinghy to various objects is your painter. Michael and I spent a lot of time pointing to ropes and simply calling them lines, which is the generic term for ropes on boats. Aft is front. Stern is back. If facing forward, port is left; starboard is right. A galley is a kitchen, a head is a bathroom, a cabin is your bedroom, and a salon is your living room. Or is it saloon? Ah yes, as with all language, boat terminology is evolving. What old salts once called a saloon many newbies (like us) now refer to as a salon, whether describing the main living space on a monohull or catamaran. You might use one or the other term depending on what part of the hemisphere you live on as well. For A Sail of Two Idiots purposes, we’ll use salon, since that was, in fact, what we called it. Ready to climb aboard? Anchors away!
Preface
Welcome to A Sail of Two Idiots, a book not necessarily for idiots. If you are reading this, it is probably because you’ve always wanted to sell all your stuff, move onto a boat, and sail toward paradise, but you aren’t sure you’re smart enough. Or maybe you already own a boat but still aren’t sure you’re smart enough. Of course you are.
Look at us. I had done some sailing on little Sunfish sailboats and the occasional Hobie Cat but had never understood the nuances of sailing and, to be honest, never planned to try. My husband, Michael, had no sailboat experience at all, nor was he concerned about this omission in his life. Our cat, Shaka, didn’t know squat about boats either and, had he a choice, probably would have liked to keep it that way.