his face. “I’m glad I got to see you. You’re a beautiful girl, Ginger.
Probably the only good thing to come out of Ian, that piece of shit. I
had best be going. My queen-mistress needs me.”
“I don’t—is there a way I can get in touch with you?” Seamus
wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy, but if I never got to see my parents
again, he was the only family I had. Him and Camila.
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“You’ve your cell phone on you?”
“Actually, no.”
“Here.” Camila held out her phone to Seamus.
He took it and quickly entered his phone number. “Your
Rodrick’s been looking for me for a while, I hear. I meant to come
see you before your next school term, but here we are. My queen-
mistress has her demands, but you’re my niece. You just call if you
need me.”
“Thanks. I—I will. Unc—Seamus, wait.” The word uncle felt
weird to say, but there was one more thing I had to know.
‘“Yes?”
“You exposed yourself to my mother as a vampire, but you
never wiped her memory right? And she never became a feeder?”
“That’s right.”
“And your queen-mistress let you live, but was there some
other punishment?”
“Na, there wasn’t,” he said. “She knew I was saving the life of
my love and my rightful wife. And the baby that should have been
mine.”
He nodded once more, tight-lipped, and then he was gone.
I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a deep breath. Then I turned
to Camila.
“Let’s just—I have a lot I want to say, but not here.”
“Okay,” she whispered hoarsely.
I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her and we
vanished through the night.
• 311 •
• 312 •
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Chapter nineteen
Camila was drained physically and emotionally. I wanted
her fed and rested, but the moment we saw Samantha
trembling in Natasha’s lap, my focus changed. A new sort of trauma
had just begun for Sam. Camila and I hadn’t been gone that long,
but it was long enough for Sam to start thinking about what had
happened in the library stairwell.
She was across the room, throwing her arms around me before
I got out a single word of explanation to my sister-queens. I picked
her up effortlessly and just as quickly, her legs went around my
waist. Her emotions were all over the place, such a mess that it was
almost impossible for me not to enter her mind. She was thinking
of Greg, dead on the stairs. I had come to terms with his death the
moment the asshole had shoved me. The most he’d ever been to
me was a lab partner, and at the least, he was an insecure jerk who
didn’t know how to watch his mouth. To Samantha, he’d been lover,
tormentor, and her only human friend.
I sank to the floor beside the couch and held Samantha’s
trembling frame to me, cradling her head against my shoulder. It
was slightly awkward because we were nearly the same height
and build, but with my sudden strength, she didn’t weigh a thing.
And even if she’d been heavy to me, I wouldn’t have set her down.
Greg had hurt Sam, but somehow I felt responsible. We had all shut
Samantha out at the beginning of the semester, simply because of
her brutal, rude honesty. Maybe if I had just given her a chance, if
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reBekah WeatherspOOn
we’d tried to get to know her, she would have relied on us instead
of Greg for support and comfort. I couldn’t take any of it back, but I
could take care of her now.
Still holding Sam, I had a brief meeting with my sister-queens,
my first official act as head she-demon in charge. They understood
immediately that the shift had taken place. There was some
confusion, but they all accepted me as queen, no questions asked,
I made the decision to keep the girls in the dark about everything
that had happened until the following morning, all but Barb. I’d need
her to feed Camila tonight. I told them to let the girls know I was
fine, but I didn’t plan on going anywhere until I heard from Dalhem.
If anyone on campus asked, I’d gone home on a family emergency.
It was up to Rodrick what he planned to tell the boys about Greg.
My sister-queens offered, like they had with Cleo, to let me
choose which of the girls I wanted to act as my feeders. I had been
less than comfortable watching Natasha unbind herself from Sam. It
didn’t feel right picking and choosing. For a moment, I considered
who’d I be most comfortable with, but then I remembered the moment
I tasted Sam’s blood. Previous comfort levels had absolutely nothing
to do with the bond between demon and feeder. Even Andrew, who
had seemed to be pretty devoted to Moreland. He’d latched on to
Cleo so quickly and completely, it was as if they’d been bound
together their whole lives. I cared for all the girls and would happily
take the first two willing volunteers.
Sam had no interest whatsoever in leaving my side. I needed
her to at least try to get through the week. Greg was gone, and I was
clearly going to be a no-show for my exams the next day. I hated the
idea of forcing her to do anything, so we compromised, agreeing she
would get some sleep if Camila and I let her stay in our apartment.
After my sister-queens left, Camila and I got Samantha in the
shower, and in my first real lesson in mind control, Camila showed
me how to clear Sam’s mind. I was horrified at all the things I saw
as I sorted through the memories that kept her heart racing. Her
emotionally dismissive mother, images of her father, who, in spite
of his kindness, was a clear spokesman for Too Distant Dads. And
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Better Off red
then the parts of her that were clinging to Greg. She couldn’t believe
he was gone, and I couldn’t believe after seeing the things he’d put
her through, that she still loved him.
For the time being, I erased his face from her mind, soothing all
the pain, pinpricks, and deep gouges, with calm and peace. Camila
and I watched her for a moment as she drifted off between our satin
sheets, both of us a little lost on what we would do with her when
the morning came. And I wondered what Sam would have done if
she hadn’t followed us up the stairs, if Greg hadn’t pushed me. How
long would she have gone on letting him hurt her? How long had
Greg been hurting others?
As if I’d asked the questions out loud, Camila took my hand.
She showed me all the things Samantha hadn’t seen. The girlfriend
Greg had beaten all through high school, the unwanted advances
he’d made on Micah, the rough way he’d handled Andrew just the
night before, and countless other instances where Greg had lost his
cool and crossed some lines. And then there were things I hadn’t
come close to expecting, like Greg’s deep self-loathing and
his
obsessive feelings for me.
Greg hated himself and instead of turning it inward, he let his
rage out on anyone unfortunate enough to get close to him in any
way. He’d pushed me off the stairs because I was secure in who I
was. He pushed me because I was happy with my love and my life
and he knew no amount of seduction, intimidation, or force would
make me give in to him. He had wanted me all along, knowing he’d
missed his chance or that he’d never had one.
But no matter the reason for my death, Greg was a psychopath
and all of us, in one way or another, had fed into his behavior.
Whether it had been Rodrick’s refusal to see anything but the best
in his feeders, Camila’s willingness to let Rodrick run his house the
way he saw fit, or even my refusal to get involved simply because
I didn’t like Greg and his attitude toward my relationship with
Camila, the human in all of us had let the monster in Greg get away
with near murder.
“That’s why I killed him,” Camila’s voiced floated quietly in
the dark. “I grabbed him, and his mind opened and I saw everything
• 315 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
he’d ever done, things Rodrick wouldn’t have known unless he’d
done a complete mental strip. I know he wasn’t mine, but he was
a monster. Like he said, Dalhem wanted justice for everyone. He
wanted Greg to own up to what he did to Samantha in front of
Rodrick and his father. I couldn’t let him get away with anything
more.”
Then something else occurred to me. “How come Natasha
didn’t know what was going on with Sam?”
“You saw the other things, with her family, you’ve seen how
she is with you girls. Sam has always been hurting. She’s always
been angry. The tone of her emotions was the same before Greg.
Don’t ask Natasha about it, Red. She and Rodrick already feel like
they’ve failed us all.”
“I won’t,” I murmured into the darkness. “I’m still not sorry
you killed him. Who shoves someone down a flight of stairs?” I
chuckled harshly. Camila huffed back as I squeezed her hand tighter.
It took a few breaths, a few moments in the dark silence, but
a sense of calm settled around and in that calm, I was split in two.
The demon in me felt strong and whole. I knew my place and what I
must do. It longed only for Sam’s blood and her safety and Camila’s
touch. My human side, the part that was still alive, was crying out. I
would never see my family again.
I pulled my hand out of Camila’s grasp and took a step away. I
could see the pain in her eyes.
“I love—I need some time.” I did love her, but I needed
more than five minutes in a dark room to process what my life had
become now that she was safe. I figured it would take a few years
of mourning and searching for closure to find peace with my new
life. I hoped it wouldn’t take as long to come to terms with Camila.
She swallowed anxiously. “I’ll just be in the office.”
“Okay.” I couldn’t ask her to stay. Still, it sucked to watch her
go. I stood near the bed long after I heard the office door close, but
eventually I climbed under the covers with Sam. She was warm and
her body was an instant comfort, but she was a wild sleeper. I had
to stop her from kicking me in the shins half a dozen times as she
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tossed and flopped around. When I spooned her body against mine
and took a few passes at stroking her hair, she finally settled down.
If only I could say the same for my over burdened mind.
Figure it out. Figure out what you’re going to do, then go talk
to her.
There was nowhere for me to run. I couldn’t hide in my dorm
room. I couldn’t go home. The ABO house was my home now. Even
if I escaped to another sister-queen’s room, Camila was a part of
me now. I knew exactly what Mom would say. Forgive her. She
would tell me to embrace the change and to forgive Camila or I
would poison everything we’d shared together. I would taint any
chance of happiness in my new existence. Making things right with
Camila was something I had to do, though at the moment I wanted
something different.
I wanted to call Todd and my parents, even though it was the
middle of the night. I wanted to call my brother and thank him for
finding me and thank my parents for loving me. I saw Cleo’s point
even more now. I knew things would never be the same no matter
what my master had to report, but I did want to say good-bye.
Dalhem struck me as a punctual man, so I knew when he said
thirty-six hours, thirty-six hours was what he meant. We’d returned
from his house a little before eleven p.m. I expected to hear from
him no later than eleven a.m. Tuesday morning. And between now
and then I would get on with my immortal life and let the rest—let
my family—go. I had no other choice.
❖
Just before two a.m., Benny showed up at the door. I left Sam
sleeping and let her in.
“I didn’t walk over here alone,” she said as we walked to the
couch. “Faeth picked me up.”
“I’ll have to thank her. Your step-dad is pretty…interesting.”
“Did you see his wings or his talons?” She chuckled quietly.
“No. But the horns and the teeth. I definitely saw those.”
• 317 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
Benny frowned and leaned a little closer. “He is good, Ginger. I
know he’s intense, but he is good. He’s just…not human.”
I sighed sadly. I had no ill will toward Dalhem, and there was
no need for her to think I did.
“I know. It wasn’t him, Benny. It was the situation. I understand
he was just doing his job.”
“Where’s Camila?”
I pointed over my shoulder to the office. “We’re…taking a
break.”
“Faeth told me a few things in the car. That night in the hospital
you couldn’t have saved Cleo.”
“I see that now. The bond is much stronger from this end. I
should have listened to Camila.” I stopped myself before my mind
started with an impossible game of what if.
“It’s not just that. Cleo had a year or two tops before her
relationship with her mother fell apart. She was going to come out
after graduation and her mother would have disowned her. And
believe me, her church loves to make examples of homosexuals.
My parents were already planning to support her. I figured if she
became a demon it would soften the blow of her family’s rejection.
She just wanted to hold on to this charade she had going with them a
little longer.” Cleo has almost said as much that day in the mall, but
part of me thought she was just afraid to tell her mom she was gay. I
never thought her family would actually kick her out.
“But my family, my mom, they knew about me. They wanted
to meet Camila. I need them, Benny. I need my family.”
“You still have a family. You don’t have to go through this
alone. You have me and Amy. You have Sam. You have the sister-
queens, a house full of sorority girls. Rodrick and the brother-kings
are always around, and you have Camila.”
Finally, I let myself cry. I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
Everything Benny was saying made sense, but I wasn’t ready to
accept the truth. Benny walked over to the bar and came back with
some napkins. They were black, but I knew as I wiped my face they
were now stained blue.
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Better Off red
“Dalhem told me all humans get three chances at life, but most
of the time we don’t see them as opportunities, just obstacles. The
time isn’t right for me and Cleo. Her problem is with me, not the life
of a demon. Don’t let this stand between you and Camila. She loves
you more than I think you know.”
“I know. This just—” I laughed humorlessly. “This sucks.”
“What’s it really like?” I figured Dalhem could tell her
everything she’d ever want to know about being a vampire, but
Dalhem had never been human.
I sat back and wiped my face again. “I like the teeth. A lot.”
Benny smiled when I opened my mouth, letting my fangs grow to
their full length. I hissed at her playfully, giggling myself before
I sheathed them. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about food in a
while. I should be tired, but I’m not. Blood tastes really good.”
“Cool.”
“It’s just weird. I don’t feel like I’ll ever be myself again.”
“You won’t, but that’s the point of college. To grow up and
change,” Benny said.
“Literally. Listen. Sam’s here, but do you want to stay?”
“Yeah. I think Samantha’s in need of a second chance too.”
I waited for Benny to kick off her boots and her jeans. She
climbed into bed with Sam without a moment’s hesitation. Minutes
after they cuddled together, Benny was out like a light. I watched
them for a few minutes more, gathering up the courage to take
Benny’s advice.
❖
“If I asked you to take me somewhere, would you?” I said
quietly. Camila stood from her office chair.
“Of course. Where—” I didn’t blink as I shared my thoughts
with her, showing Camila my mind’s image of where exactly I
wanted to go. Sadness clouded her face, but she held out her hand
for me. In the next breath, I was in Camila’s arms. I shuddered as