• 146 •
Better Off red
How’s my baby?
The fluttering lit off in my stomach just from seeing the words
on the display, thinking of who they were from. I knew I must have
looked like an idiot, nibbling the inside of my lips as I texted her
back, but I didn’t care. I typed away and let Amy’s voice guide me
through the parking lot.
She’s good. I parked her away from the other cars.
She texted me back right away. Smartass. I miss you.
And that was good to know. Pretty freaking sweet actually. I
kept myself from singing and dancing, skipping and high-fiving
strangers, but I couldn’t keep myself from the upper levels of cloud
nine. I was cheesing so hard I thought my cheeks would burst.
I texted her right back, telling her I missed her too and asking
her if Cleo could drop me off.
She can drive. Tell her not to crash or she’s buying me another
whip. I stopped walking. Okay. Can’t wait to see you.
“Damn, Ginger.” Cleo grabbed my shoulder and shoved me
through the door. “You’ll see her in a few hours. Let’s go.”
I flicked her off and then hit send. “She said you can drive,
jerk.”“Did I mention how much I like you and your new girlfriend?”
“Yeah, I bet.” I put my phone away, even though it beeped
again, and I gave my undivided attention to Amy, our self-assigned
shopping coordinator. She walked and talked, leading us to the first
designer store. I loved a good skirt and a cute, high-heeled shoe, but
I was more of an Old Navy girl, not couture.
“Okay, dress first and then we get you some new pan-tays,”
Amy drawled.
“Please, just tell me where we’re going,” I begged. Camila had
told Amy and Cleo where she was taking me on our date. Of course
they told Danni and Benny. That couldn’t be helped, chatty bitches.
But Amy was setting a record, keeping a secret from me for a whole
three hours. I had zero leverage to make her crack.
“No. Jesus, Ginger. Just let the woman surprise you,” Amy
whined.
• 147 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
“Fine.”
We started searching the racks. I wasn’t seeing anything
that yelled “My girl will love this,” so I pulled out my phone and
continued to text Camila, handing the quest for the perfect date
dress over to the girls.
“What’s your best color?” Danni asked.
“Green,” Amy and I said at once.
“We need to get something to match your eyes,” Amy said.
We all took a quick glance around. Everything in the store was
in different shades of cream and tan and black.
“Let’s go somewhere else,” Amy said. We all nodded in
agreement and followed her across the mall into a co-ed store that
catered more to our age bracket and the desires of Amy’s color
scheme.
“I hate this place. They’ve never heard of my size,” Benny
grumbled as we browsed through the racks.
“I know. Let’s get Ginger squared away and then you and I can
hit the big girl stores,” Danni said.
“Here, take this.” Cleo handed me the first green dress she
found. Then she looked up at us. “So who hates Samantha?”
“I was waiting for you to say something!” Danni said.
“If you guys hate her so much, then why’d you pick her?” I
asked.“Two reasons. Well, three,” Danni said. “Natasha thinks she’s
gorgeous. And as you now know, Natasha loves fucking her. Two,
she is serious about journalism, and Camila thinks she’ll go far with
it. It’s always nice to have someone in the media aligned with them.”
“That is true,” Benny said.
“Three, and she won’t tell you this, but her dad was in OBA,”
Danni said.
“What?” Amy and I yelled. Benny didn’t seem surprised by
this news.
“Did you know that?” I asked her. She just nodded and held up
a shirt, pretending to read the tag.
“Why was she asking all those bitchy questions then? Her dad
should have told her everything,” I said.
• 148 •
“You’ll love this. When she was like ten or something, her
dad just up and split. Six months later, he sent her and her mom a
shitload of cash and a note explaining that he’d gone nocturnal. And
that he was gay.”
“Ooo burn, Sam’s mom,” Amy snorted.
I couldn’t help laughing. “That does suck for her mom. And
maybe that’s why Sam’s such a bitch.”
“It is sad, but the bitchiness is no excuse,” Benny said.
“You’re right.” My life before the Carmichaels had been
terrible, but I knew how to treat people. Samantha was missing that
part of her brain.
“How did you find this out?” I asked, taking a green skirt Amy
passed to me. I looked at it and passed it back. “I don’t like that.”
Danni didn’t skip a beat. “One of those nights she was too busy
to check in, she was up late, over with the boys. Greg fell asleep and
she stayed up talking to Micah. Micah told A.J.—”
“And she told us,” Cleo said.
“Weird,” Amy said, frowning.
“And God, she loved getting spanked last night. That whole
teary-eyed lip quiver thing was bullshit. She’d probably miss curfew
again if everyone wouldn’t really hate her,” Danni said.
“So it’s okay if we don’t all get along?” I asked. Ninety percent
of the time, I wanted to punch Samantha in the face. I was relieved
to find out those feelings were okay to share with the group.
“Oh, yeah. Our president last year, Kelly—” Cleo started to
say. “Oh, God,” Danni added.
“She was the biggest bitch ever, but Kina loved her. And she
was so freakin’ organized.”
“Which is key.” I nodded sternly.
“What’s she doing now?” Amy asked.
“Works for Congressman Whitmore,” Benny said.
I turned to her. “Remind me to keep you close, Benita. What
you know scares me a little.”
“It should.” And then I was rewarded with one of Benny’s rare
smiles.
• 149 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
“Okay. I like these. Into the dressing room you go,” Amy said,
shoving four more dresses in my face.
“Before I do that, just tell me where we’re going.”
“No!” was the unanimous answer I got.
I marched into the dressing room and got a good look at the
dresses Amy had picked out for me: a short cocktail number that I
knew would make me look like a slut, a green and blue puffy thing
that I knew would make me look like a bird, a solid green tank
dress with a tutu skirt, which looked ridiculous for the fall weather,
and a knit shirt-dress that was too casual. I was in and out of the
dressing rooms in record time. All four dresses were cute in theory
but looked terrible on me. We tossed those options and moved on to
a dozen more stores.
By the time we had a dress, shoes, a clutch, a jacket, a bra and
p
antie set, and jewelry, I was ready to tap out. Danni and Amy were
just warming up, running into Sunglass Hut. I took a seat on the
bench outside. Cleo and Benny parked it with me, and the three of
us watched Danni and Amy kiss in front of the Prada frames. They
both came up for air, giggling like mad when the sales guy got up
the nerve to approach them.
“I can’t believe Danni found an even bigger spaz to go out
with. They’re perfect for each other,” Cleo said.
“I was just thinking the same thing. Hey,” I said as the thought
popped into my head. “Do any of the older girls want to change?”
Cleo knew what I was getting at.
“Paige is thinking about it. She has no real family to speak
of. Her mom’s a bitch. Barb’s a no. Why? You thinking about your
future with our fearless leader?”
“Actually, no. I already told her I wasn’t going to do it. I’m
kinda in your boat. I can’t cut myself off from my family.”
“I’ll be back.” Benny stood and I watched Cleo’s expression
as she watched Benny walk away. At that moment, I wished I knew
what was on Cleo’s mind. She was never hushed about anything,
except Benny. Now that I wasn’t distracted with the doubts of my
own sanity, I started to wonder if there wasn’t something more
between them.
• 150 •
Better Off red
Benny disappeared around the corner, headed toward the
restrooms. Cleo took a deep, almost sad breath then turned to me.
“There are ways to keep the ties with your family, but it’s just
as fucked up.”
“How so?”
“Everyone who knows has to become a feeder.”
“Oh. Yeah, that’s not…”
“Exactly. Mama Jones is a preacher. I still haven’t told her I’m
gay. No way could I convince her to become demon food. She’d
out me and the sister-queens and then have the whole congregation
praying for my soul.”
“What about your dad?”
Cleo shrugged. “Her word is gospel in the house too. He knows
better than to rock that boat, but for me the whole thing’s a risk. B’s
step-dad is an actual demon. Like a real demon. You change and you
piss him off, you actually go to hell. It’s one thing to think there’s
a hell and something completely different to know there’s a hell. If
staying human increases my chance of not going there, that’s where
I’ll place my bets. Mortal I shall remain, Miss Ginge.”
She was quiet for a moment. I was quiet too. I figured it was
better not say anything about the things Natasha and Rodrick had
told me. I glanced toward the restrooms.
“Does Benny want you to change?”
Cleo replied with a deep nod. “She wants to feed me. I just—I
can’t.”
So that was it.
“Is that all she wants?”
Just then Benny came back around the corner. There was no
way she had gone to the bathroom. She was back too quickly.
“She won’t say. Come here, juicy booty,” Cleo said as she
pulled Benny into her lap.
“I’m going to crush you,” Benny muttered. Cleo’s arms went
around her waist. She closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek against
the back of Benny’s ABO sweatshirt.
“No. You won’t.”
• 151 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
❖
I gave credit where it was due and admitted Cleo was a better
driver than I was. I’d gotten us to the mall safely, but she handled
the Range Rover like she was born behind the wheel, weaving
smoothly between cars, getting us back across the city in record
time. She pulled in front of the dorm, and I couldn’t help shaking
my head laughing at her. Cleo was so proud driving that thing like
she owned it.
“You guys run up and I’ll park this bad boy,” she said almost
seriously.
“Actually, I’m going to get ready by myself,” I said, looking
back at Amy.
“Are you sure? I can help you with your hair.”
“I’m sure.” The afternoon had been filled with the kind of pure
girlie fun I hadn’t experienced in months, but I was exhausted and
needed to clear my head. I also hadn’t had a single second to myself
in the past twenty-four hours. Luckily, they understood. They
wished me luck, and before I hopped out, I made them promise they
would take pictures at the Chi Nu toga party.
Upstairs in my room, the peace and quiet only gave my
mind more room to wander. There was this interesting back-and-
forth between the part of me that knew this date was going to lead
somewhere good, that this was the beginning of something that had
a chance to last, and the part of me that refused to overlook a few
truths.
Camila was a vampire. I was not and never would be. My
life was going to go on, evolve, and at some point, I was going to
die, hopefully of natural causes in my sleep, at age eighty, after
the best sex ever. Camila would outlive me and almost everyone
we knew. There were other things, like wanting her to meet my
family, wanting to know everything about her, that might prove to
be difficult. My family couldn’t know about her, and something
told me that an immortal might have secrets she might never want
to share. Past lovers, past lies. We would never really know each
other.
• 152 •
Better Off red
But I had to remind myself all of that came with the territory. I
wanted her. Bad. And I had to deal with everything that came along
with Ms. Sanchez and her never-ending life. I had to trust her and
leave our future to the future. Things with her, with Alpha Beta
Omega, had turned out surprisingly well so far, and if I could just
bring myself to stop stressing so much, things would be okay.
Then Cleo’s words about her mother popped into my head. Not
her concerns about her mortality, but her fears about her mother
finding out she was gay. I knew now I was definitely attracted to
women, and I knew that wasn’t going to change. There were things
I couldn’t tell my family about recent developments in my life, but
I could tell Todd I was no longer confused. I could tell my mom not
to expect to hear about boys from my classes anytime soon. I could
tell them both that I had met someone. I’d just skim on the details
about who or what that special someone was.
I should have told them in person. This was a huge deal,
confessing that Dad would never get a son-in-law to call—well, he
had Todd for all that son stuff, but maybe he wanted a son-in-law.
My parents were never going to get truly biological grandkids out
of me anyway, so I figured Mom wouldn’t mind that part, but still I
imagined at some point she’d imagined she’d help me pick out cake
toppers, a man and woman, or that she’d be telling her friends in her
quilting club about the amazing man her daughter had met during
her academic adventures near the Chesapeake Bay. None of that was
going to happen, so I had to tell them.
I felt like a coward using the 3G network to make this
announcement, but it would be a while before I got to see my family,
and Camila was better than waiting a while. The phone would have
to do. Knowing Mom, she’d find a way to tell Dad before I even got
the words out of my mouth.
I knew Todd didn’t care who I fell for, and I think my parents
felt the same way, but still I found my stomach tying in knots as I
stared at my phone.
I chickened out on calling Mom and decided to send Todd a
quick text. Then I’d call Mom.
I sat on my bed and typed as fast as my fingers could fly.
• 153 •
reBekah WeatherspOOn
Not confused anymore. Have a date tonight.
I hit send and then I waited. Paced around my room and waited
some more. When I hadn’t heard back from him fifteen minutes
later, I admitted to myself I was stalling. I had to call my mom.
But I’d get undressed for my shower first. So I did that, then
I dug out my towel and my shower shoes. And then I checked my
e-mail.
Then I called my mom.
Okay, I started to, but my finger didn’t seem to want to make
contact with the words Linda/Mobile on my screen.
“Just do it, you puss. You’re already eighteen. It’s not like she’s
going to unadopt you. Just call her,” I scolded myself. “Okay. Okay.
Okay. I’m calling her.”
I walked over to my desk then skittered back over to my bed.
I pressed my mom’s number, sat on my comforter, and closed my
eyes.“It’s Saturday night. You should be out,” she said instead of
hello.“Hi, Mom. I’m going out soon.” I swallowed and started
picking nervously at the stuffed panther on my bed. Amy had named
him Thackery Binx. I dug my fingernail into the rim of his plastic
eye. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
I should I have phrased that differently. I set her off in her
typical, Linda-style rampage.
“What’s wrong? You’re not pregnant, are you? Ginger, we’ve
talked about birth control. You promised me—”
“Mom, no. I—” I took a deep breath. How the hell do you tell
your mom something like this? “I think—I think I’m a lesbian. Well,
I know I am. I’m going out with a girl.”
I fell over and buried my face in Thackery’s plush fur, waiting
for Mom to disown me.
“Oh.” She actually sounded relieved.
“What do you mean ‘oh’?” I said, sitting bolt upright.