or plundered palaces and mausoleums of precious jewelry
to be shipped back home?’
No Sir. He was a solid chap, a folk hero. That is what he
was. He knew the terrain of Kumaon like the back of his
palm, better than his back-yard in Shropshire, Yorkshire,
Brookshire or any other ‘shire he came from in the Blity.
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I could think of him as a Lone Ranger riding along the hills
and valleys of Kumaon. When confronted by a big wild cat,
Jim would look straight into his eyes and tip the hat. In
return the beast would curtsy him and they would wander
off in their different directions. Jim would do the same with
local humans. ‘Mutual Respect’ was the key word that
pervaded when he was around. He believed in treating the
Wild Life and the Humans with an even hand.
Though there was a section of tiger population that would
disagree with that.
They are called man-eaters. They believed that Jim was
definitely slanted toward the humans.
Tigers like politicians start off as pretty decent fellows. As
they go through the rough and tumble of life, some of them
may be thrown to a corner and forced to make hard choices.
Like whether to die of starvation or eat human flesh.
Instincts of self-survival would generally override. Once
they taste human flesh and blood, like politicians tasting
intoxication of power, they get hooked on to it. There is no
turning back. Gourmet food is what they want always; rest
of the stuff is bland meat. They would not settle for
hamburgers and French-fries any more.
That is when Mr. Jim Corbett would step in and cry foul.
He would get his shotgun or whatever he could grab and go
after these renegade erstwhile friends. He bagged a couple
of dozen of these in his lifetime and also wrote very
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interesting books about these escapades. The scourge to
human population was brought under control.
But after Jim Corbett vanished into eternity, poachers and
hunters (of human species) abounded. Local taxidermists
made record profits. Movie stars and celebrities vied with
each other wanting to wear skins that would bring the
‘Animal’ out of their men folk. Tiger population started to
dwindle. Tigers had to be declared as endangered species.
The benign apparition of Jim Corbett still pervades on the
Hills of Kumaon in the form of this National Park. It is a
game sanctuary where all these wild life are protected.
Again, you may only shoot them with your camera.
You may drive around with windows of your car rolled up.
Remember these lands belong to those members on a
different rung of the Evolution Ladder. You are an intruder.
There is a road sign that clearly says ‘Leopards have a right
of way’. So if you find them climbing on top of your car’s
hood and making faces at you through the windshield, it is
their prerogative.
Do not call the Highway Patrol. These are the Highway
Patrol.
However you have a better alternative. You can whistle and
hail an elephant. Unlike your car they have a trunk in the
front, you may not be able to load your travel bags in it
though. But sure you can let it siphon a lot of water and
give you a fine shower. After you climb on top of it you can
generally take a supercilious and condescending view of the
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rest of the world. At some 25ft above the ground you are
also quite safe from rest of the wild life. Breathe fresh air
and wander around the whole place for as long as your
bottoms can take the bumps.
When I tried to get into Jim Corbett Park, I saw a “Do Not
Disturb” sign at the entrance. Tigers were busy propagating
and preserving their species. It was breeding time and they
do not like voyeurs. The Park was closed for the season.
I had to catch a plane back for London. So I came back to
the real world from Shangri-La. My brother asked me if I
did not want to go visit Udaipur.
For a fleeting moment it seemed pointless. I had heard that
one person I needed to impress most and make proud of my
parallel parking skills had been taken away by upper
respiratory ailment.
I told my brother, ‘May be next time’. I still had to recover
those five marbles for winning in the game of Gulli-danda.
Airlines announced my flight was ready for boarding. I
headed to the gates. For the flight to Texas was beckoning
me.
THE END
144
POTSHOTS AT HOTSHOTS
145
Southern Methodist University, Dallas, Texas, conducts
Distinguished Lecture Series where people that have
achieved distinction in their field are asked to share their
wisdom with the general public. Between 1986 and 1992, I
became an avid participant of these Lecture Series. There
used to be about 4 to 6 such lectures in a year. At the end of
each lecture, the audience was allowed to ask questions of
the Lecturer. I rarely missed an opportunity of jumping
from my seat and running up to the microphone and throw a
question. A thrilling experience at getting 5 minutes of
fame! As a front seat ticket holder (that did not come very
cheap), I also got to hobnob with the Distinguished Lecturer
at a small reception at the end of the evening. Getting heady
and intoxicated by rubbing shoulders and pumping hands
with the mighty and powerful over some punch and
cookies, was an educational experience.
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Following are some of the questions that I asked along with
the responses that I got. While the questions are reproduced
verbatim, the responses are paraphrased as what each said
in ‘essence and effect’. You may not always agree with
some of the ‘tongue in the cheek’ responses, but the
exchange of words would definitely provoke some
thoughts. You may even come out with some of your own
views and reactions to these questions. If so please do not
keep them to yourselves and share with your friends.
Dr. Christian Barnard (Surgeon from South Africa that
performed the first heart transplant).
Question: As technology to transplant organ progresses, it is
conceivable that all organs of a person could have been
transplanted including brain cells. Then what would it be
that would make that person still himself or herself?
Response: We will not transplant human mind.
Edwin Newman (NBC News).
Question: If you were a nominee for the Supreme Court,
how would you balance the values of Individual Liberty on
the one hand and needs of National Security on the other?
Response: Very carefully, of course.
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Charlton Heston (H
ollywood Actor).
Question: Do you have any political ambitions?
Response: A good politician needs to be a good
Communicator and Motivator. That is why an actor can be a
good politician as well. I have been approached by both the
parties to run for Congress.
Sam Donaldson (ABC News).
Question: It took a small nondescript newspaper in Iran to
break the story of Iran-Contra deal. How come the multimillion
dollar newsmen not excluding yourself could not do
it? How many such scandals are going unreported as we are
speaking now?
Response: I wish I could have laid my hands on the story
first.
Dr. Robert Ballard (Maker of the underwater Robot that
explored the ‘Titanic’)
Question: Do you see a parallel between the ‘Titanic’ and
Response: Yes. In both the cases people were a little over
confidant about their technology’s infallibility.
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Edward Heath (Former British Prime Minister).
Question: Civilizations seem to rise and fall in cycles. Do
you think Europe has reached its plateau and will slowly
start declining as a cradle of civilization in the coming
decades?
Response: No. European Civilization will revive itself.
Elli Wiesel (Holocaust survivor and Nobel Peace Laureate)
Question: In this age of a possible Nuclear Holocaust, do
you believe the instinct of self preservation will prevail over
the instinct of self-destruction, in human species?
Response: Even though it may seem that the people in
power have their priorities all lopsided, we have survived so
far have we not?
Caspar Weinberger (Former Defense Secretary)
Question: What is ‘State Sponsored Terrorism’ and which
state does not sponsor terrorism?
Response: It depends upon who does it and doing it in a
way that it cannot to be found out.
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Tom Brokaw (NBC News)
Question: TV and Radio networks are basically in the
business of peddling popcorn and Pepsodent. If they also
provide news, it is only as a means to that end. Why should
one not doubt your objectivity?
Response: We are not influenced by our Sponsors.
Robert MacNeil (MacNeil/Lehrer News Hour)
Question: If one needs to listen to standard Queen’s
English, one would probably listen to the BBC. How would
you compare that with the standard of English spoken on
the American TV and Radio?
Response: Who speaks Standard English? We conducted a
survey and found that most people even in Britain did not
speak that way anymore.
Robert Bork (Nominee for Supreme Court that could not
get Confirmation from the Senate).
Question: There seems to be some controversy over your
role in the Nixon White House when he fired the Watergate
Independent Prosecutor. Would you like to comment on
that?
Response: I was just following orders. If I had not done it
some one else would have. Things would have happened
just the way they happened regardless of what I did. My
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only mistake was not having immediately called a news
conference and told the public about what I was made to do.
Dr. Henry Kissinger (Politician of repute)
Question: You have had an admirable life but there is
something about it that is enigmatic. You know the pain and
suffering under the Third Reich and Gestapo from your own
childhood. But when you were in a position of power and
influence you collaborated with some of the most brutal and
suppressive regimes in the world. How do you explain that?
Response: What regimes?
Question: Iran, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Philippines,
Argentina and Chile?
Response: The United States is not the Policeman of the
World. We have to do what is in the best National Interest
and we cannot tell our Allies how to run their countries.
Alistair Cooke (Masterpiece Theater on PBS)
Question: Your talk about American Humorists was most
interesting. But you left out my favorite Humorist, P.G.
Wodehouse. How come?
Response: P.G. Wodehouse was not American.
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David Brinkley (This Week on ABC)
Question: You newsmen report on other public figures. But
capable of similar behavior. Who reports on your conduct?
Response: Our lives are an open book.
THE END
153
TRYST WITH A MYSTERY
WOMAN
155
INTRODUCTION
Hindu society is patriarchic. Ancestral worship has been
practiced in several societies and at several times in Human
history. In the Hindu society it is practiced even today and
is taken very seriously, especially in the Brahmin
community of the Southern India. A ritual called
‘Shraddham’, is performed that offers prayers and food to
the departed ancestors. It is the ardent wish of millions that
they have a male progeny that would perform this ritual for
them when they have died.
On a lighter vein, while we proudly trace our ancestry to
several generations, can I be totally sure there had never
been any outside intrusions in our supposed lineage? Also,
just as I invite my ancestors to my house for food and
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prayers, how about if the role should be reversed and I go
back in time and visit them?
I was looking at the Genealogical Tree of my Family. Then
I started wondering what would it be like to meet the lady 6
rungs above my generation. A good portion of my genetic
makeup comes from her, right?
Is it not such an accidental quirk that I am what I am and
that I am here at all? What if that Lady there, or for that
matter any body in between her and me had made a
different choice of mates? Would I still be there as I am
now?
Read this fictional journey back in Time and Space through
the Genealogical Tree of my family.
I was travelling from Bangalore to Madras. We were
driving down this hilly dusty road as night began to fall and
all of a sudden there was a thunderstorm. It started pouring
like one big dam must have burst overhead. There was
lightening and thunder.
As we approached a curve, the car gurgled a few times and
came to halt beside a large Banyan tree. Driver Murugan
got out of the car. He opened the front hood holding an
umbrella over his head. After peering into the car a little
while he came back. I rolled down the glass to hear what he
had to say. The carburetor had some problem. He had also
inquired of a
passing Villager about the condition of the
road ahead. It was quite a hopeless task of making to the
next town at this dead at night. He asked me if I would like
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to take shelter in a nearby temple until the morning. There
seemed little choice.
I collected my essential belongings and slowly made to the
temple, which was half in ruins. I went in. With the help of
torchlight I started looking around. The carvings under
thick layers of cobwebs seemed ethereally bewitching.
I could not imagine ever seeing any one so enchanting as
that Apsara who was beckoning me with her finger tips.
Yes indeed she was calling me toward her. I heard a
mystical voice singing a most lyrical melody. This
voluptuous danseuse was seductively and gracefully
moving her limbs to that tune. How could I resist, as she
held my finger tips and gently pulled me toward her? She
smiled flashing her teeth like a string of pearls and pealed
out laughing. I was completely beyond myself. I could
barely muster enough courage to ask her who she was.
She said ‘Don’t you know me? I am Parvati’. She had such