Tours are offered Tuesday to Friday from ten a.m. to five p.m. and Saturday and Sunday from twelve p.m. to five p.m. The last tour of the day starts at four p.m. and costs $10 for adults, with senior and student discounts. For more info, check out LouisArmstrongHouse.org.
As you continue to the next two highly delicious checkpoints, you will find you can now appreciate the neighborhood through Satchmo’s eyes.
CHECKPOINT 2
LEMON ICE KING
Walk south on 107th Street toward 37th Avenue.
Turn left at 37th Avenue.
Turn right onto 108th Street.
A definite staple of Queens and perhaps one of the most famous ice places in the city, the Benfaremos’ Lemon Ice King has been in operation for over sixty years. A fancy-pants award from Zagat and a tiny storefront make it arguably the most legit shit in town. I got the fruit cocktail flavor because it was the closest thing I saw to day-drinking.
SWEET, ICY GOODNESS
ENDPOINT
LEO’S LATTICINI (MAMA’S)
Walk on 107th Street toward 37th Avenue.
Turn right onto 37th Avenue
Turn left onto 104th Street. Leo’s will be on your right.
If you’re hungry, prepare to be in heaven at the eighty-year-old compound of joy that is Leo’s Latticini.
Down the block (but still amazingly attached) is every sad girl’s dream of glass cases stocked to the brim with every Italian pastry ever. Cannoli are served by the pound, and the woman behind the counter is actually yelling at people on her cell phone during her break in REAL ITALIAN. There’s a cute outdoor seating area in the bakery section to binge and reflect that yes, it truly is a wonderful world.
Write Your Own
Band Poster
The hottest new (music genre) group, the (adjective) (noun, plural), is (-ing verb) the NYC music scene. Their show last week at the (-ing verb) (animal) Tavern included a (adjective) set with crazy (noun, plural), (noun, plural), and a (number)-hour-long, (adjective) light show.
Their group is made up of (number) kick-ass members who play instruments like the (musical instrument), (musical instrument), and even the (large vegetable). The lead singer and creator, (name), who operates under the nickname (nickname), says he first came up with the idea for the group in a (adjective) dream.
Their current hits include “Oh, (name), You’re a (animal)” and “Let This (noun) Be My Last.”
Catch them next week at a special (number)-hour-long performance at (retail chain) alongside rapper (adjective) (letter of the alphabet) and new age Latin folk group (Spanish first name) & the (noun, plural).
AKNOWLEDGMENTS
First and foremost, I would like to start by thanking Doris Cooper, Stephanie Huntwork, Kevin Garcia, Robert Siek, Amelia Zalcman, and everyone else at Potter who has worked so hard on the coolest opportunity of my life. I would like to especially thank Emma Brodie, the dopest editor in town, for her incredible guidance and patience with me throughout this process. Emma, without you, this book would be an incoherent rambling with nonsensical bullet points and distasteful jokes about Monica Lewinsky.
To Elyssa Goodman, my resilient, talented, and diehard photographer, who followed me up and down the city without ever slowing down. Thank you for taking amazing pictures and being a true friend. I would also like to thank Jaeil Cho for his ridiculous illustrations, and for drawing just the right amount of soul patch and cigarettes onto various pigeon cartoons.
I would like to thank Pam Krauss, who has engaged my ratchetry since the age of sixteen. Thank you for believing in Awkwafina, and thank you for all of the advice you’ve given me.
To Marc Gerald, one of the coolest dudes I’ll ever meet. This would have never happened without your help, and I am honored to have you in my life.
And last but not least, to my grandmother Powah and my dad Wally. Thanks for raising me, believing in me, and not forcing me to go to med school.
INDEX
Accidental Singers
Aguilera, Christina
Alda, Alan
Alice in Wonderland statue
Apple Store
Armstrong, Louis
Arthur Avenue
Arthur Avenue Retail Market
Audubon Terrace
Baez, Joan
Baio, Scott
Baohaus
Barnes & Noble, Tribeca
Beatles
Bedford Avenue
Bethesda Terrace
Biancardi’s
Biddle House
Billopp, Christopher
birds, 2.1, 3.1
Bloomingdale’s
Boat Challenge
Brighton Bazaar
Brighton Beach/Sheepshead Bay
Bronx, The
Brooklyn
Brighton Beach/Sheepshead Bay
Greenpoint
Write Your Own history of
Brooklyn movie studios
Brooklyn Standard
Bros
Bryant Park
Burns, Ed
Buscemi, Steve
Busy Mall
Butter Knives
Café Grumpy
canning
Casa Della Mozzarella
celebrities born in NYC
Cellar Bar and Lounge
Central Park dares
Chinese restaurants and neighborhoods, 7.1
Conference House
Corner 28
Corona
Crown Heights
Dakota, The
Darin, Bobby
Dominick’s Restaurant
Dreyfuss, Richard
ducks and geese
Dunham, Lena
East River Ferry
Egger’s Ice Cream Parlor
El Greco Diner
Empire State Building
Falconer, The
5 Bar Karaoke
555 Edgecombe Avenue
Flushing Meadow Park
Grand Central Parkway
Grand Central Station
Gray’s Papaya
Great NY Noodletown
Greenpoint
Hans Christian Andersen statue
Highbridge Park
Hispanic Society of America
Holocaust Memorial Park
homeless people, 3.1, 5.1
Hong Kong Plaza
IchiUmi
Italian neighborhoods. See Bronx, The
Jewish neighborhoods. See Brighton Beach/
Sheepshead Bay
J. Hood Wright Park
Johansson, Scarlett
Johnston, Moira
Koreatown
Lam Zhou Handmade Noodles
Landau, Martin
Lemon Ice King
Leo’s Latticini (Mama’s)
Liu, Lucy
Lomzynianka
Madonia Brothers Bakery
Maloof Skate Park
Mama’s (Leo’s Latticini)
Manhattan
Koreatown
restrooms
Union Square, fm1.1, 8.1
Upper West Side (Central Park)
Washington Heights
Write Your Own history of
Marriott Marquis, Times Square
Marshall, Garry
McGolrick Park
Meadow Lake
Miss Korea BBQ
Morris-Jumel Mansion, 6.1, 6.2
Morrone Pastry Shop and Café
movie studios
Nan Xiang Dumpling House, 7.1, 7.2
New World Mall
New York City Supreme Court
New Yorkers
celebrities born in NYC
homeless people, 3.1, 5.1
new New Yorkers
subway riders
Union Square characters
New York State Pavilion
Notorious BIG, The
NYC Bitche$ (Write Your Own)
Paul Robeson House
Penniless Musicians
Peoples People Restaurant
&nbs
p; people-watching
Peter Pan Donut & Pastry Shop
Pocha 32
police stations, restrooms at
Polish neighborhoods. See Greenpoint
Professional Homeless people
Queens
Corona
Flushing
Flushing Meadow Park
Queens Museum
Ramblin’ Bill
Randazzo’s Clam Bar
recycling
Reggiano’s
Remini, Leah
restrooms, Manhattan
Rilke, Rainer Maria
Rite Aid, 4.1, 4.2
RKO Keith Theater
Roll-n-Roaster
Roman the Fart Smeller
Russian neighborhoods. See Brighton Beach/
Sheepshead Bay
Sheepshead Bay, 3.1, 3.2
Shops at Columbus Circle
Small-Town Hipsters
Soho off Lafayette Street
soup dumplings, 7.1, 7.2
Squatter’s Pavilion
Stadium Theatre
Starbucks
Staten Island
Statue of Liberty
St. George’s Episcopal Church
Strawberry Fields
subways, 1.1, 3.1, 6.1
swans
Tai Pan Bakery
Taiwanese Gourmet
Tatiana
Teitel Brothers, 5.1, 5.2
Third Floor Café
Times Square, fm2.1, 9.1
topless woman
Tottenville, 1.1, 1.2
Train Clearers
Trustafarians, 4.1, 6.1
UFC Gym
Union Square, fm1.1, 8.1
Unisphere
Upper West Side
Washington Bridge
Washington Heights
Wendell the Garbageman
Williamsburg
Wo Hop
Woorijip
World’s Fair (1964) “spaceships,”
Write Your Own
band poster
brief history of Queens
history of Brooklyn
history of Manhattan
history of Staten Island
history of the Bronx
letter to mother
“NYC Bitche$,”
on the subway
Xi’an Famous Foods
MAPS
1: The Staten Island Tour
Exit the outdoor platform at Main Street.
Walk one block down Main Street toward Conference Court.
Turn left onto Amboy Road.
Continue on Amboy Road.
Reverse on Amboy Road toward Brighton Street.
Walk down Main Street toward Hylan Boulevard.
Turn right onto Hylan Boulevard.
Turn right onto Satterlee Street.
Reverse on Satterlee Street.
Walk until you reach Conference House.
2: The Men in Black Tour
Exit the Sixty-seventh Avenue subway station on the north side of Queens Boulevard and walk toward Sixty-seventh Drive to Sixty-ninth Road/Harry Van Arsdale Road.
Turn left on Sixty-ninth Road/Harry Van Arsdale Road.
OPTIONAL: Pedestrian Overpass
Walk northeast on Sixty-seventh Drive toward Yellowstone Boulevard.
Turn left on Yellowstone Boulevard.
At Sixty-fourth Avenue, turn right.
Pass 108th and 110th Streets.
The pedestrian overpass is situated directly next to the dog park.
3: The Brighton Beach Memoirs Tour
Exit at Brighton Sixth Street.
Turn right onto Brighton Sixth Street toward Brightwater Court.
When you reach the beach and boardwalk, Tatiana will be on your right.
From Tatiana, make a right onto the boardwalk.
From Brighton Sixth Street, walk north toward Brightwater Court.
Turn right onto Brighton Beach Avenue.
Turn left onto Brighton Eleventh Street.
From Brighton Bazaar, make a left onto Brighton Eleventh Street heading toward Oceanview Avenue.
Turn slight right onto Neptune Avenue.
Arrive at the Holocaust Memorial Park (on your right).
From the Holocaust Memorial Park, walk straight down Emmons Avenue to Sheepshead Bay Road.
See large diner sign. Walk toward it.
From the Holocaust Memorial Park, walk straight down Emmons Avenue to Ocean Avenue.
Pass the bright purple sign of a frightening nightclub called Fabergé.
Find Randazzo’s next door.
From the Holocaust Memorial Park, walk down Emmons Avenue to East Twenty-ninth Street.
4: The New Old Greenpoint Adventure
Take the G (or literally the ONLY TRAIN that runs through Greenpoint, which just happens to be THE WORST TRAIN) to Nassau Avenue.
Get out through the Manhattan Avenue and Nassau Avenue exit.
Walk north on Manhattan Avenue toward Norman Avenue.
Walk down Manhattan Ave toward Norman Avenue; end at Rite Aid.
Walk down Manhattan Avenue toward Norman Avenue
Stop at Peter Pan Bakery
Walk down Manhattan Avenue toward Meserole Avenue to Calyer Street.
Make a right onto Calyer Street and continue to Diamond Street. End in front of an unmarked Broadway Stages.
Make a right onto Diamond Street toward Meserole Avenue.
Continue on Diamond Street toward Norman Avenue.
Make a left onto Nassau Avenue toward Humboldt Street.
Walk down Nassau Avenue toward Humboldt Street.
Find entrance to the park.
5: The Bronx Adventure
Walk down Arthur Avenue toward Crescent Avenue.
Walk down Arthur Avenue toward 186th Street.
Walk down Arthur Avenue toward 186th Street.
Walk down Arthur Avenue toward 186th Street.
Cross 186th Street and continue on Arthur Avenue.
Walk on Arthur Avenue toward East 187th Street.
Turn right onto East 187th Street.
6: The Washington Heights Adventure
Exit Audubon Terrace at 155th Street.
Walk down 155th Street toward Broadway.
Turn left onto Amsterdam Avenue.
Turn right onto 160th Street.
Find gated entrance on Jumel Terrace.
Make a left on Jumel Terrace.
Make a left on West 160th Street.
Turn right on Edgecombe Avenue.
From 555 Edgecombe Avenue, walk to Amsterdam Avenue and 158th Street.
Take the M101 bus toward Fort George/193rd Street.
Get off at the Highbridge Park stop.
Highbridge Park is also accessible from the 168th Street A/C Subway Station
Walk east on 168th Street toward Amsterdam Avenue.
Turn left onto Amsterdam Avenue.
Enter Highbridge Park and walk toward the water.
From 555 Edgecombe Avenue:
Walk up Edgecombe Avenue toward West 160th Street to West 162nd Street.
Make a left onto West 162nd Street.
Continue onto Saint Nicholas Avenue, which turns into Broadway.
Turn left on West 173rd Street.
The park is also accessible from 175th Street A Station.
Walk south on Fort Washington Avenue toward West 174th Street.
Turn right on West 174th Street.
7: The Tour of Flushing Queens
From Main Street Station, walk down Main Street toward Fortieth Road.
Corner 28 is at the corner of Main Street and Fortieth Road.
Cross Main Street on Fortieth Road.
See main entrance for New World Mall in the middle of the block.
Welcome to the largest indoor mall in New York City as of 2013.
Cross Main Street from New World Mall.
Walk down Main Street toward Roosevelt Avenue.
Turn left on Thirty-eighth Avenue.
Walk back to Main Street on Thirty-eighth Avenue.
Turn left onto Main Street.
Walk down Main Street toward Thirty-seventh Avenue.
Cross Main Street from Hong Kong Plaza.
See two separate buildings both called Busy Mall.
Go into the building on the left.
Walk on Main Street toward Thirty-eighth Avenue.
Turn right onto Thirty-eighth Avenue.
Turn left onto Prince Street.
Walk down Prince Street toward Thirty-eighth Avenue.
Turn right onto Northern Boulevard.
The theater will be on the opposite side of Northern Boulevard.
8: The Koreatown Barcrawl
Walk toward Fifth Avenue on Thirty-second Street.
Walk down Thirty-second Street toward Broadway.
Pocha 32 is located on the second floor of 15 West Thirty-second Street.
Continue on Thirty-second Street toward Fifth Avenue.
At Fifth Avenue, make a slight right.