I fell upon a sinking ground of fear,
A spiral of despair, whose walls were sheer,
And no matter how fast I ran
The spiral would be faster as it span
And for dear life I kept out the waters
Which calls Death and Hate its daughters
I'm clawing at the floor with my nails
But no such forces exist that prevails
I'm been drawn in, sucked into despair
With each of my follies a weight I must wear
The dark waters reach my head
As my very soul begins to dread
I'll struggle through it
I'll crawl on my face
Just to carry on
Even with despair
Just so I can live
So I can find hope
I will crawl and crawl
Disgusting small worm
That I truly am
I don't want to drown
So I'll bite onto life
Dragging it down too
When truthfully…
I walked away from you
On that hot summer's day
When truthfully I wanted to stay
And be with you forever
I gave you a cold stare
Didn't say a word when I left
When truthfully all I ever wanted to say
Was that I love you
I didn't answer your calls
Gave you the wrong times and location
When truthfully I always watched you
Worrying about you all day
I told you to leave me alone
That I didn't give a damn
When truthfully I was in love
Utterly, helplessly in love with you
Smile + Tears = Rainbow
I came upon a rainbow that lost its way
It asked me to draw a map.
Without knowing it I led it to my heart,
Where the rain had kept pouring
Through the love that once shone.
There it shines for me
And then I remembered
How you smiled on that day
That I had fallen for you
And the tears you shed
On the day I left
The smile like the Sun
And the tears like the rain
Gave birth to this rainbow
That had lost its way
Melody
The curtains are drawn
From my eyes as I clearly see
The band comes to play
As my heart sinks, no, disappears
And as I stand here
A melody plays
With each tear
Hitting the ground
Hitting notes on my heart
Pulling the strings
Of emotions locked up inside me
As I stand
I begin to unwind
To the sweet melody of my tears
To that beautiful song they play
So tragic and so sad
Yet shining like a bright star
Sweet melody that was inside me
Doesn't stop playing
As my soul overflows
Through my eyes
Who knew that I cared so much for you
And that only after you're gone
This melody plays for you
Never stopping
Always playing
Decisions and their consequences
When a time comes to decide
Be it illogical or suicide
Fear steps aside
Leaving oceans wide
Courage becomes violent
From the devil sent
Blazing all hell bent
With a soul as rent
Hands grasp the light
Struggling against the fight
Holding on despite the fright
Disappearing into the night
I know it is so,
Life is as such
Despite love and kindness
Cruel intensions lie ahead
Correct mistake
One, two, three, four
Another mistake,
That I pile up,
I've made so many
It's pointless to count
Ten, eleven, twelve
But the worst of them all
Was falling in love with you
The saddest was trying to love you
The cruelest was having to leave you
Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two,
So many mistakes,
Is the world really that bad for me?
Thirty-three, thirty-four,
And the funny thing is,
I still love you
That mistake that keeps on going
Daisy ~ S.I. unit of love
I fell in love
With love's child bright
That even I couldn't stand
Being away from their side
But my petty feelings
Fluttered into the air
You who is so loved by everyone
What possible need for my love did you need?
Such a petty thing my feelings
Like a daisy in a bed of roses
It hurt me that my feelings couldn't measure up
For you are loved so much by everyone
Why bring a biscuit to dinner party
Why use a cocktail umbrella in the rain
I've been measuring my feelings in centimeters
While your heart was in kilometers
Could it be that's why I never confessed?
That a microbe of a feeling will never shine
But even so, my feelings are true
Resting in this tiny heart of mine
But then under the TV light in a dark room
You revealed in me for the first time
That of all the roses growing in the flowerbed
There was but one magnificent daisy shining bright
You admired it more than the rest
That someone special had planted it
How silly of me, I now realise
I now understand how special I was to you
I understand now you can't measure love in centimeters
You measure it in daisies
The monsoon season
I could feel it here
The humidity dropping
Something cold inside
As rain begins to fall, I try my best
To forget it all, memories undressed
The monsoon pours down
But my tears hide its torrent
Dark clouds in my eyes
I lost something precious so easily
Like a drop of water into the sea
Yet the flow of gloom
Is so calming for my soul
That is still crying
I’ve learnt that no one can drown in their tears
Pity, living on is part of my fears
Thunder starts to boom
A quick flash of hope or joy?
The monsoon goes on
I’ve shed enough tears, yet I continue?
Give it back, I forward my detinue
Ever since you left
You took my joy from my life
No, you were my joy
And now that you’re gone, all I have is this
A monsoon of tears as I reminisce
Teardrop by teardrop
I sink further down from you
The monsoon season
Where you forgot me
I can squeeze my head
For a thousand dreams but yet
Only you are lost
My heart is broken
A broken lost time machine
That no longer works
As long as I know
I've been meaning to say this
'Please don't forget me'
But the words are lost
And myself falling so fast
That I too am lost
I only see you
In my dreams and sadness
Where you still know me
And of the real world
It is but sad misery
Without you by me
Like endless raining
Or lost in the dark alone
A pain that hurts deep
Could it be that you
Were my only happiness?
I think it is true
I say 'I love you'
But it will never reach you
Through the dark and rain
Where you forgot me
I've made a home and life there
Remembering you
Star seeker
Every star is a lie
They are long gone
Dead and cold in the sky
Their phantom very sly
Their light a trick well done
But still just a lie
My heart was the same
With feelings always double faced
Songs without tune
Who was to blame?
The Love that Hate chased?
Or a man on the moon?
But you never listened
Always carrying a star in your smile
They called you star seeker
What you were christened
Always chasing the stars your style
You made my sadness that weaker
Star seeker, reaching out
Grab a star without a doubt
Just like love
Just like love
I have seen the sea many times
But I never dared its waters
Now I am so far away
That the sea is but a word
Just like you
I have ran through the fields
But I stopped running long ago
You, the super sonic speed star
How was I ever suppose to stay with you?
Just like truth
My heart beats for you
My feelings were certain that day
But not they're forgotten and lost
I've never been so confused
Just like light
You filled my days and glowed my nights
Gave me the joy of hope and life
But I'll never see you again
Driftwood in the void of space
Just like reality
I've learnt to live without you
It's what I feared the most
I'm so scared of my dreams
It is just like me
If
What, what if my friend,
I told you this was the end?
Would it strike you to cry a tear
Or would you be willing to hear
And what if my pal
Lies had become your rationale
And what if you could restart
Fix that broken heart
What if you fail a goal
Would you cease being whole?
What if you loved a person
And your relationship is worsen
If is a abusive word
An intrusive comment heard
You never ask what if
You mustn't ever ask yourself what if
Lady on the bus
I could paint a picture of her
Though she was so plain looking
And carried no fancy clothes
She seemed so elegant
And pure in carrying her soul
She's smiling in her reflection
But wears nothing but her burdens on her face
Her eyes showed a deep longing
A void that was under her skin
Homesick or perhaps tired
She couldn't feel the gravity of life
Dressed in black; only her soul
Her sin a subtle snow fall
It was only then I knew
I too was on the bus
Consider me
Consider me dead
If you were to leave me
Consider me damaged goods
If you ever doubt me
Consider me gone
Should your lips meet another’s
Consider me fed
If you will not dine with me
Consider me lost in a dark wood
Should you ever forget me
Consider me overdrawn
On your love if you love me
Consider me in your head
When you lose your way
Consider me as your heartwood
Of your family tree
Consider me as a song
That will sing for you forever
Consider me yours...
Forgotten notes: A song of voids
I've been listening to a sweet tune
For so long it became stuck in my head
Only realising I forgotten it too soon
When I was left in the silence dead
I cannot remember its sweet tones
Of its low and high cascades
Now I am frighten to my very bones
In the silence passing decades
I know not what I forgotten then
But only know I am filled with a gaping hole
Waiting forever, not knowing when
Forgotten memories written on a sheet music
How bittersweet it sounds as time goes by
Forgotten notes: A song of voids
Playing silently for you and I
I have yet to find
I have found food that has satisfied my stomach
I have found literature that satisfies my mind
But I have yet to find and embrace an ache
That makes my body to pain bind
I have yet to found a love that satisfies my heart
An experience that fills my soul and makes me alive
Yet to find something to fill this hole from the start
A forgotten dream I may still revive
Happiness had been hidden away
So that just no one could have it
If you could search for it and not sway
Then happiness's embrace you may submit
Too tired I've become, I will rest today
Hoping for an embrace tomorrow
A love that will always stay
And again your courage borrow
I have yet to find my end
A place to stop and rest
These words yet to send
That I loved you best
Forgotten but not gone
Missing inside the sofa of your conscience
Forgotten but not gone
Trying to understand your science
To bring about remembrance's dawn
Crying as you go happily along
With the rest of your life forgetting
Pleading to hear again just once your song
But there will never be the right setting
Please remember, recall your feelings now
To keep them alive, yet on the tip of existence
You did not need us, never made a vow
But please remember us, close this distance
I’d like to love again
I'd like to love again
I'd like to love myself again
Instead of pleading with myself
To end it all for today
I'd like to love again
I'd like to love my life again
Rather than dread each waking day
Scared and cold with dismay
I'd like to love again
I'd like to love you again
But the pain and scars are still there
So I know all too clearly
...
It would be a long time
Before I could love again
What I called love
Today my love had shattered
My heart got yet another chip
What I called love
Was
really just sorrow
She had forgotten me
Before I even confessed
What I called Love
Was really just fear
Now I sit quietly in the dark
Even colder than before
What I called love
Was really just dependence
Bitterly I throw my dreams away
Realizing how small they are
What I called love
Was really just jealousy
But in a panic I cry
Picking them up to hug
What I called love
Was really just reassurance
Unable to give them up
Unable to make them real
What I called love
Was really just nothing at all
All you’ve ever done
All you've ever done
Is blame someone else
For your sins and problems
All you've ever done
Is wait for a hero
When someone needs you
All you've ever done
Is love your shadow
Giving out cold shoulders
All you've ever done
Is cry about your pain
While blind to others' woe
All you've ever done
All you've ever done
I'm sorry for what I have done...
What I’ve stepped on to get here
It took five years for me to realize you loved me
And by that time you had left me for someone else
Then, I had blamed you for breaking my heart
But now I’ve come to realize your feelings
Waiting and waiting for me to blossom
Only for a long Winter followed by Autumn
I was just a shy foolish boy- I still am
Still I blame you for the glass pieces in my chest
But now I know how selfish I truly am