I don’t go to the window that night or the next.
NIGHT FOUR
I CAN’T STAND it. I peek out from the corner of my curtains.
The Bundt is sitting on the sill, Band-Aids and bandages covering half its body. Olly is nowhere to be found.
NIGHT FIVE
THE BUNDT IS sitting on a table next to the window. There’s a martini glass filled with green liquid, a pack of cigarettes, and a pill bottle with a skull and crossbones label. Another suicide attempt?
Still no Olly.
NIGHT SIX
THE BUNDT IS lying on a white sheet. An upside-down plastic water bottle is attached to what looks like a coat hanger and is hanging above the cake. A string hangs from the bottle to the Bundt like an IV. Olly appears wearing a white jacket and stethoscope. He’s frowning down at the Bundt and listening for a heartbeat. I want to laugh but I don’t let myself. Olly looks up and shakes his head solemnly. I close my curtains, suppressing a smile, and walk away.
NIGHT SEVEN
I TELL MYSELF that I won’t look, but as soon as the first ping sounds I’m at the window. Olly is wearing a black bathrobe with an oversized silver cross around his neck. He’s performing last rites of the Bundt.
Finally I cannot help it. I laugh and laugh and laugh. He looks up and grins back. He takes a black marker from his pocket and writes on the window:
SORRY ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT.
GENERICUSER033@GMAIL.COM
FIRST CONTACT, PART TWO
From: Madeline F. Whittier
To: genericuser033@gmail.com
Subject: Hello
Sent: June 4, 8:03 PM
Hello. I guess we should start with introductions? My name is Madeline Whittier, but you can tell that from my e-mail address. What’s yours?
- Madeline Whittier
P.S. You don’t have anything to apologize for.
P.P.S. What is that Bundt made of?
* * *
From: genericuser033
To: Madeline F. Whittier<madeline.whittier@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: Hello
Sent: June 4, 8:07 PM
you are a terrible spy madeline whittier if you haven’t already figured out my name. my sister and i tried to meet you last week, but your mom wasn’t having it. i really don’t know what the bundt is made of. rocks?
* * *
From: Madeline F. Whittier
To: genericuser033@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RE: Hello
Sent: June 4, 8:11 PM
Hi,
Bundt Cake Recipe
3 cups all-purpose cement mix
1¼ cups fine-grain sawdust
1 cup gravel (various sizes for added interest)
½ tsp salt
1 cup Elmer’s Glue
2 sticks unsalted butter
3 tsp paint thinner
4 large eggs (room temperature)
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Grease Bundt pan
For the cake
1. In medium bowl, whisk together cement mix, salt, and gravel.
2. In large bowl, whisk together butter, Elmer’s Glue, paint thinner, and eggs. Do not overmix.
3. Gradually whisk in dry ingredients in small batches.
4. Spoon batter into Bundt mold.
5. Bake until a tester inserted in cake refuses to come out. Cool in pan on rack.
For the glaze:
1. Whisk together sawdust and enough water to form a thick yet pourable glaze.
2. Set rack with cake over a piece of wax paper (for easy cleanup).
3. Drizzle cake with glaze and let solidify before serving.
(Serves 0)
- Madeline Whittier
P.S. I’m not a spy!
FIRST CONTACT, PART THREE
Wednesday, 8:15 P.M.
Olly: i was going to email you back, but saw you were online. your recipe cracked me up. has there ever been a spy in the whole history of spying that’s admitted to being a spy? i think not. i’m olly and it’s nice to meet you.
Olly: what’s the “f” stand for?
Madeline: Furukawa. My mom is 3rd generation Japanese American. I’m half Japanese.
Olly: what’s the other half?
Madeline: African American.
Olly: do you have a nickname madeline furukawa whittier or am i expected to call you madeline furukawa whittier?
Madeline: I don’t have a nickname. Everyone calls me Madeline. Sometimes my mom calls me honey or sweetie. Does that count?
Olly: no of course it doesn’t count. no one calls you m or maddy or mad or maddy-mad-mad-mad? i’ll pick one for you.
Olly: we’re gonna be friends
Madeline: Since we’re going to be friends, I have questions: Where are you from? Why do you wear a cap all the time? Is your head oddly shaped? Why do you only ever wear black? Related question: Are you aware that clothing comes in other colors? I have suggestions if you need them. What do you do on the roof? What’s the tattoo on your right arm?
Olly: i have answers: we’re from all over, but mostly the east coast. i shaved my head before we moved here (big mistake). yes. i’m dead sexy in black. yes. none needed, thanks. nothing. barcode
Madeline: What have you got against capital letters and proper punctuation?
Olly: who says that i do
Madeline: I have to go. Sorry!
Friday, 8:34 P.M.
Olly: so how grounded are you?
Madeline: I’m not grounded. Why do you think I’m grounded?
Olly: well something made you log off in a hurry last night. i’m guessing it was your mom. trust me i know all about being grounded. and you never leave the house. i haven’t seen you outside once since we got here
Madeline: I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. I’m not grounded, but I can’t leave the house.
Olly: very mysterious. are you a ghost? that’s what i thought the day we moved in and i saw you at the window. and it would be my luck that the pretty girl next door is not actually alive
Madeline: First I was a spy and now I’m a ghost!
Olly: not a ghost? a fairytale princess then. which one are you? cinderella? will you turn into a pumpkin if you leave the house?
Olly: or rapunzel? your hair’s pretty long. just let it down and i’ll climb up and rescue you
Madeline: That has always sounded impractical and painful don’t you think?
Olly: yes. so not cinderella and not rapunzel. snow white then. your evil stepmom put you under a spell so that you can’t leave the house and the world will never know how fair you are
Madeline: That’s not how the story goes. Did you know that in the original version it wasn’t an evil stepmother, it was an evil mother? Can you believe that? Also, there were no dwarves. Interesting, no?
Olly: definitely no
Madeline: I’m not a princess.
Madeline: And I don’t need rescuing.
Olly: that’s ok. i’m no prince
Madeline: You think I’m pretty?
Olly: for a fairytale ghost spy princess? definitely
Saturday, 8:01 P.M.
Olly: how come you don’t log on until after 8?
Madeline: I’m usually not alone until then.
Olly: someone’s with you all day?
Madeline: Can we please not talk about this?
Olly: curiouser and curiouser madeline whittier
Sunday, 8:22 P.M.
Olly: here’s a game. fast five favorites. book word color vice person
Olly: come on come on. type faster woman. don’t think just type
Madeline: Sheesh. The Little Prince. Uxorious. Aquamarine. I don’t have any vices. My mom.
Olly: everyone’s got vices
Madeline: Not me. Why? How many do you have?
Olly: enough to choose a favorite one
Madeline: OK, your turn.
Olly: same list?
; Madeline: Yes
Olly: lord of the flies, macabre, black, stealing silverware, my sister
Madeline: Ugh. Lord of the Flies? I don’t think we can be friends anymore. That book is awful.
Olly: what’s so awful about it?
Madeline: Everything!
Olly: you just don’t like it because it’s true
Madeline: What’s true? Left to our own devices we would kill each other?
Olly: yes
Madeline: Do you really believe that?
Olly: yes
Madeline: Well, I don’t. I definitely don’t.
Madeline: Do you really steal silverware?
Olly: you should see my spoon collection
Monday, 8:07 P.M.
Olly: what’d you do to get so grounded?
Madeline: I’m not grounded and I don’t want to talk about this.
Olly: does it involve a guy?
Olly: are you knocked up? do you have a boyfriend?
Madeline: Oh my God, you’re insane! I’m not pregnant and I don’t have a boyfriend! What kind of girl do you think I am?
Olly: a mysterious one
Madeline: Have you spent all day thinking that I was pregnant?
Madeline: Have you?
Olly: it crossed my mind once or twice or fifteen times
Madeline: Unbelievable.
Olly: don’t you want to know if i have a girlfriend?
Madeline: No.
Tuesday, 8:18 P.M.
Madeline: Hi.
Olly: hey
Madeline: I didn’t know if you’d log on tonight. Are you OK?
Olly: fine
Madeline: What happened? Why was he so angry?
Olly: i don’t know what you’re talking about
Madeline: Your dad, Olly. Why was he so angry?
Olly: you’ve got your secrets. i’ve got mine
Madeline: OK.
Olly: ok
Wednesday, 3:31 A.M.
Olly: couldn’t sleep?
Madeline: No.
Olly: me too. fast five favorites movie. food body-part class
Madeline: That’s only four. Besides, it’s too late for this. I can’t think.
Olly: waiting
Madeline: Pride and Prejudice—the BBC version, toast, hands, architecture.
Olly: jesus. is there a girl on this planet who doesn’t love mr. darcy
Madeline: All girls love Mr. Darcy?
Olly: are you kidding? even my sister loves darcy and she doesn’t love anybody.
Madeline: She must love somebody. I’m sure she loves you.
Olly: what’s so great about darcy?
Madeline: That is not a serious question.
Olly: he’s a snob
Madeline: But he overcomes it and eventually realizes that character matters more than class! He’s a man open to learning life’s lessons! Also, he’s completely gorgeous and noble and dark and brooding and poetic. Did I mention gorgeous? Also, he loves Elizabeth beyond all reason.
Olly: huh
Madeline: Yeah.
Olly: my turn?
Madeline: Proceed.
Olly: Godzilla, toast, eyes, math. wait, is the body part your favorite on yourself or on someone else?
Madeline: I don’t know! It’s your list.
Olly: o yeah. all right, i’m sticking with eyes
Madeline: What color are your eyes?
Olly: blue
Madeline: Be more specific, please.
Olly: jesus. girls. ocean blue
Madeline: Atlantic or Pacific?
Olly: atlantic. What color are yours?
Madeline: Chocolate brown.
Olly: more specific please
Madeline: 75% cacao butter dark chocolate brown.
Olly: hehe. nice.
Madeline: That was still only four favorites. We need one more.
Olly: i leave it to you
Madeline: Form of poetry.
Olly: that assumes that I have one
Madeline: You’re not a heathen.
Olly: limericks
Madeline: You are a heathen. I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.
Olly: what’s wrong with a good limerick?
Madeline: “Good limerick” is a contradiction in terms.
Olly: what’s your favorite?
Madeline: Haiku.
Olly: haikus are awful. they’re just less fun limericks
Madeline: You’ve been downgraded from heathen to heretic.
Olly: noted
Madeline: OK. I should be asleep.
Olly: ok me too.
Thursday, 8:00 P.M.
Madeline: I wouldn’t have guessed that math was your favorite class.
Olly: why not?
Madeline: I don’t know. You climb buildings and leap over things. Most people are good with their bodies or their minds but not both.
Olly: is that a nice way of saying you think i’m dumb?
Madeline: No! I mean that…I don’t know what I mean.
Olly: you mean i’m too sexy to be good at it. that’s ok. i get that a lot
Madeline: …
Olly: it just takes practice like anything else. i was a mathlete two high schools ago i’ll have you know. got a probability and stats question? i’m your guy
Madeline: No!
Olly: yes!
Madeline: So sexy.
Olly: i sense insincerity
Madeline: No!
Olly: yes!
Madeline: :) So are you going to be a Mathlete at SFV High?
Olly: probably not
Olly: my dad made me quit. he wanted me to do something more manly like football
Madeline: You play football?
Olly: no. he made me quit the mathletes, but he couldn’t bully the coach into taking me midseason. he let it go eventually
Madeline: What if he brings it up again now?
Olly: i’m a little harder to bully now than i was 2 years ago
Olly: i’m meaner now. bigger too
Madeline: You don’t seem mean.
Olly: you don’t know me that well yet
Friday, 3:03 A.M.
Madeline: You’re awake again.
Olly: yeah
Madeline: I know you don’t want to talk about this.
Olly: and yet
Madeline: I saw what happened today. Is your mom OK?
Olly: she’s ok. it’s not the first time. it’s not the last time
Madeline: Oh, Olly.
Olly: please don’t oh olly me
Olly: tell me something, anything. tell me something funny
Madeline: OK. Why was the boy surprised to find celery growing out of his ears?
Olly: why?
Madeline: Because he’d planted corn!
Madeline: Hello?
Olly: oh jesus. that is not a good joke
Madeline: Made you smile though.
Olly: yeah it did
Olly: thanks
Madeline: Anytime.
Saturday, 8:01 P.M.
Olly: i guess i won’t get to meet you in person until school starts
Madeline: I don’t go to school.
Olly: you mean you don’t go to SF Valley High? where do you go?
Madeline: I mean I don’t go to regular school. I go online.
Olly: why?
Madeline: I really can’t talk about this.
Olly: come on. you gotta give me something here
Madeline: I want us to be friends. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.
Olly: just tell me. we’re still gonna be friends
Madeline: I’m sick.
Olly: how sick?
Madeline: Really sick. Can’t leave the house sick.
Olly: jesus
Olly: are you dying?
Madeline: Not right now, no.
Olly: soon?
Madeline: If I left the house, yes.
Olly: ok
Olly: we’re still friends. i don’t feel sorry fo
r you
Madeline: Thank you.
Olly: how does the school thing work?
Madeline: All my classes are over Skype. I have homework and quizzes and grades. Lots of people are homeschooled.
Olly: huh. cool
Olly: ever notice how a lot of the national spelling bee finalists are all homeschooled?
Madeline: I’ve never noticed that.
Olly: it’s a thing
Olly: i wish we could meet
Madeline: Me too.
Madeline: OK, I need to go now.
Olly: go then
Olly: you still there?
Madeline: Yes.
Olly: come to the window
Madeline: Now? I’m wearing my nightgown.
Olly: put on a robe. come to the window so that I can see you
Madeline: OK, I’ll be right there. Good night, Olly.
Olly: goodnight maddy
ASTRONAUT ICE CREAM
“MR. WATERMAN’S ON his way up,” Carla says from the doorway. I’m finally putting the finishing touches on my model for architecture class. I’ve had to cut short two nights of IMs with Olly to get it done. I don’t want my mom to get worried again. The assignment was to design an outdoor shopping/dining center in my favorite style. I chose art deco because the buildings look like they’re flying even though they’re standing still.
The centerpiece of the complex is a grassy outdoor seating area populated with oversized, oddly shaped chairs painted in bright zigzag patterns. I’ve already “planted” miniature plastic palm trees in the grass, and now I’m strategically placing miniature plastic people holding miniature plastic shopping bags to give it the “vigor of life,” as Mr. Waterman would say.
In two years of tutoring I’ve only met Mr. Waterman in person twice. Usually all of my tutoring, including architecture, takes place via Skype. My mom made a special exception this week. I think she’s still feeling bad about Kara and Olly’s visit from a couple of weeks ago. I told her she had nothing to feel bad about, but she insisted. Having a visitor is a big deal because they have to agree to a medical background check and a thorough physical. Also they have to be decontaminated, which is basically like getting a high-speed air bath for about an hour. It’s a pain to come see me.