Oh heck, who did she think she was fooling? Closing her tired eyes, she scrubbed
her hands over them. She blinked, but they still felt gritty. Sophia could use about
twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep, but that wasn't likely to happen anytime soon. Her
mind was way too active and she was unable to shut off her thoughts long enough to
allow sleep to take hold.
Besides that, she freely admitted she was nervous about being alone. She, who
prided herself on her ability to survive on her own, was afraid to close her eyes. The
phone calls had unnerved her. She was certain they were from the murderer and that
had her startling at every single sound. The police had wanted her to leave town for a
while, but she'd refused. This was her home and, besides which, she had a job to do. It
had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Zane was here.
Coffee. That was what she needed. She was so wired from all the caffeine she'd
already consumed today that another jolt wouldn't hurt her. Her mind wandered as she
made her way into the kitchen. She hadn't eaten hardly anything today and, while she
still had no appetite, she knew she had to eat, if only to keep her strength up. Except her
cupboards hadn't changed any in the past few days and they still didn't contain
anything remotely edible.
Sighing, she turned on her heel and headed for the front door. She'd take herself
out to eat. Right now, she wouldn't mind being in a crowded café, surrounded by other
people. She paused and chewed on her bottom lip. But she'd have to come home alone
after that and that didn't appeal to her at all.
She wanted to scream in frustration. This was so unlike her. She was usually so
decisive and in control. "Get a grip on yourself," she muttered. "Zane isn't coming, so
you might as well get over it and move on. You're on your own just like you've always
been."
And that's what hurt the most. She'd almost started to believe that Zane might be
the real deal. Maybe he'd be a man she could count on. A man who would stay.
Boy, had she been mistaken. He'd taken off as soon as things got tough.
A hard knock sounded on her front door and she jumped, glaring at the portal. Her
heart was pounding so hard she could feel it knocking against her ribs. Sucking in a
deep breath, she slowly released it, striving for calm. Ignoring the fact that her legs were
trembling and her hands were unsteady, she went to the door and looked out through
the peephole.
She leaned her head against the door and sighed. She wasn't ready for this. Not
now.
"I know you're in there." She could hear Zane's voice easily even though a door
separated them. "Open up, Sophia."
"I'm busy." It might be cowardly, but she just couldn't deal with him right now.
Her emotions were too close to the surface. She had no idea what she might say or do.
"I won't stay." Well, his intentions were certainly clear enough. Straightening her
shoulders, she made sure her T-shirt was tucked into her jeans and ran a hand through
her hair before she turned the locks on the door. She wasn't primping, she assured
herself. She just wanted to present a cool, composed image.
Yanking the door open, she knew she was lost. He looked worse than she did. His
green eyes were bloodshot and his face appeared pale. He was clad in a black T-shirt
that was pulled tight across his shoulders. The fabric was taut around his biceps,
emphasizing their size. She knew that the shirt hid a rock-hard set of abs and an
impressive chest. Her fingers itched to touch him, to soothe him. His jeans were dark as
well, and molded to his muscular thighs, drawing her eyes all the way down to his
scuffed boots and then back up again. When she realized she was staring, she shook
herself and forced herself to look back at his face.
He made no attempt to step inside her apartment, but waited.
She stared at him, held spellbound by his eyes. She'd known that the muddy brown
eyes hadn't suited him, but the brilliant green did. Sorcerer's eyes. Beneath the power
and the hard façade, she could sense the uncertainty and it tugged at her heartstrings.
Stepping away from the door, she held it open.
Tension seemed to drain from Zane's large body as he stepped inside, taking the
time to close and lock the door behind him before he turned to her. "I wasn't sure you
on her breasts.
Sophia resisted the urge to cross her arms over her chest. She hadn't worn a bra and
now wished that she had. Zane had a way of making her feel totally undressed even
when she was decently covered. "You're the one who never came back last night. Not
me." She could have bitten her tongue the minute she'd uttered the words. Damn, she
hadn't meant to let him know that his actions had hurt her. Calm and cool. She repeated
the phrase like a mantra.
His dark brows came together, wrinkling his forehead. "I didn't think you'd want
to see me."
She shrugged and turned away. "Doesn't matter." She almost choked on those two
words. The pain in the region of her heart said otherwise. "Look." She rubbed her tired
eyes, still not looking at him. "I know you've got things to do. I don't expect you to
hang around now that you've gotten what you came for."
A heavy hand clamped down on her shoulder, spinning her around. He didn't look
tired any longer. No, Zane's lips were pursed tight into a frown and his eyes were
glittering with barely suppressed anger. It amazed her how well she could read him.
"What do you think I came for?"
"Information." Sophia tried to shrug off his hand, but his fingers tightened slightly,
not hurting her, but not letting her escape from him either. She ignored the butterflies in
her stomach and the sexual tension building within her. It was chemistry, nothing more.
"You know everything that I know."
His expression became shuttered. She felt shut off from him even more. She had to
get him out of here before she fell totally apart and begged him not to leave.
Straightening her spine, she ignored the dampness coating her panties, resisted the urge
to rub her body against his. She could feel the heat pouring off his large frame, could
smell his unique scent, a combination of musk, sandalwood and pure male essence that
made her mouth water. Her nipples were standing at attention. There was no way he
couldn't see them pressing against her shirt. That couldn't be helped, but she'd be
damned if she'd acknowledge it.
"If you have an email account, I can just send you any information I get. There's no
need for you to come back here again."
"No need." His voice was little more than a guttural growl.
She swallowed hard, fighting back the swell of tears with pure force of will. "Look,
you made it more than obvious last night that you don't care to see me anymore. That's
fine by me."
This time she did pull away from him. She stared out the small window in her
living room, watching the dark street below, trying to distance herself from the pain
welling inside her.
"Not want to see you." She could hear the surprise in his voice, but she wasn't
buying it. He'd made his position ve
ry clear last night when he'd refused to look at her,
talk to her and then finally abandoned her in the home of virtual strangers. "Not want
to see you!" he roared.
She found herself plucked off her feet and pushed back against the wall. The first
stirrings of fear began deep within her. She really didn't know Zane at all and he was so
much stronger than her. He'd picked her up as if she weighed nothing at all. She could
feel the fury in him as he bent his head toward her until their noses were practically
touching.
"I didn't think you'd want to even look at me after last night." His voice was little
more than a strained whisper.
Like she was buying that. "Sure. Whatever." She willed her voice to be strong and
sure. What came out was more of a pain-filled whisper. She lowered her eyes, ashamed
at her continued reaction to him. What was wrong with her? Didn't she have any pride,
any sense of self-preservation? Obviously not, because she still wanted him. Her body
pulsed with need and she curled her hands into fists, digging her short nails into her
palms to keep from reaching out to touch him.
"Look at me," he growled.
She shook her head.
His sigh rumpled the hair on the top of her head and he cupped her face in his
hands, tilting it upward. "I am a vampire."
"I know that." They'd been through this already. Yes, she was still coming to grips
with the whole vampire, sucking blood, immortality thing, but she'd been mostly okay
with it.
"My mother could not accept the conversion. It drove her insane over the years and
then it slowly did the same to my father."
Her heart ached for him and she felt herself softening toward him. Her hands
uncurled and shifted to rest lightly on his waist. The tension seeped out of her spine
and she leaned against him, offering him silent comfort. "I'm sorry." She didn't know
what else to say.
"You're sorry," he repeated. "I'm sorry too, but it changes nothing. They still both
went mad and I..." He swallowed hard and his words were bleak. "I killed them both."
Cursing herself for her weakness, she wrapped her arms around his waist and
hugged him tight. There was no way she couldn't offer him comfort. His pain beat at
her until she couldn't bear it any longer. She squeezed him tight until their bodies were
melded together from chest to thigh. "I'm so sorry it all happened. So sorry you had to
go through all that alone." If she understood anything, it was loneliness. Her drug-
addicted mother had been right beside her for years, but she might have well been dead
for all the attention she'd paid to her daughter.
Zane pushed her away until they were no longer touching. He stared down at her,
his green eyes glittering with emotion. "Don't you understand? I murdered my
parents."
She shook her head. "No. You did what you had to do to protect the innocent. In
the end, even your father knew that what you were doing was right."
"How can you even want to be with me?" The desolation in his voice touched her
very soul and then she knew.
"That's why you wouldn't look at me last night, why you wouldn't talk to me?" He
tried to pull away, but this time it was her that hung on. Her fingers curled into the
front of his shirt, holding on tight. She was no match for him physically and knew that
he was only still here because he wanted to be. "You were afraid."
His head jerked up and his mouth opened. She thought he would deny it. Instead,
he closed his mouth again and lowered his head. "Don't you see, Sophia? I want you in
my life. Always and forever. You are my heart and my soul." His fingers sifted through
her hair and down the back of her skull, stopping at the base of her neck. "I want to be
with you. I want to change you. I want you to be as I am."
Sophia swallowed hard, fear beating at her even as the lure of his words tempted
her. "You want me to become a vampire?" No sunshine. Bloodsucking. Endless night.
She wasn't sure she was ready for that. On the other hand, she'd be immortal and be
with Zane. There was something to be said for that.
"It's selfish, but I do," he whispered. "Now you know why I can't see you again."
"What?" She'd lost track of this conversation somewhere along the line. Was Zane
just playing mind games with her? She was totally confused. One moment he was
saying things like she was his heart and wanted to be with her always, the next he was
saying he couldn't see her.
His choice of words sunk into her brain. He hadn't said that he didn't want to see
her again. Only that he couldn't. "Why can't you see me?" she asked gently.
"It's not safe for you."
The light bulb went off. This wasn't about them. It was about Zane's parents. "I'm
not your mother, Zane." He flinched and dropped his hands from her neck. She reached
up and twined her arms around his neck. "And you're not your father."
"I don't want to hurt you." He buried his face in the curve of her neck.
She tried to ignore the press of his firm lips against her skin. "You hurt me last
night by leaving me, by not talking to me."
"I'm sorry, Sophia. The last thing I want to do is to harm you." His words were so
heartfelt and she could feel the sincerity in them as he wrapped his arms around her
waist and clung to her.
"Why don't we take things one day at a time? We don't have to make any decisions
about our relationship today or tomorrow, do we?"
Zane raised his head. "No." His hands drifted around to her waist. "We don't have
to decide anything today. If you're sure you still want to see me, that's enough for
now."
Sophia had a feeling that Zane had never made himself this vulnerable to another
soul in his life. The fact that he had such deep feelings for her made it easier for her to
admit hers for him. She wasn't in this alone. They were in it together.
"I want to be with you." She pulled his head down until their lips were barely
touching. "For as long as it lasts."
Then she kissed him.
Chapter Fifteen
Zane could taste the desperation on Sophia's lips as they grazed his, but he didn't
care. They were together now and that was all that mattered. Just the fact that she still
wanted him, didn't think him some kind of monster, was a gift from the heavens. After
everything he'd revealed last evening, he'd been sure she wouldn't want anything else
to do with him. In order to avoid the pain her scorn would bring, he'd shunned her
first. But he hadn't been able to stay away from her.
Stefan had asked about their relationship last night while the two of them had been
scouring the city, but Zane had denied any personal involvement. The other man had
scoffed at him, telling Zane that he wasn't fooling anyone but himself. He could have
told Stefan he wasn't doing a very good job at even that.
Sophia was the last thing he'd thought about when the heavy day sleep of his kind
had come upon him at dawn and she was the first thing he'd thought about when he'd
awoken at dusk. For the first time in his existence, his sleep had been restless, filled
with images of Sophia. She was a yearning in his blood and bones, indeed in his very
soul, which he couldn't deny.
Her lips were soft under his, parting, inviting him to taste, to take. He plunged his
tongue deep, wanting to reclaim every part of her body, to cherish it, to make it his. Her
tongue dueled with his as whimpers of need came from deep within her. He slanted his
head to one side, wanting to get closer to her. His fingers sifted through her short red
hair, tugging her to him. The fire of her desire warmed him, thawing the ice that had
encased him since the night before. Sophia was nothing short of a miracle to him.
He tore his lips from hers and peppered her face with kisses. He adored her freckles
and made sure he didn't miss any of them. Sophia was panting now, hot puffs of breath
brushing against his neck. His cock was throbbing, demanding he strip her naked and
take her now. His blood cried out for hers. He was a man starving and she was a feast.
He'd tried to do the right thing. Tried to let her go.
But she'd made her choice. Now there was no going back--for either of them.
Zane slid his hands down her shoulders and her back as he continued to plunder
her mouth with abandon. Her hot tongue enthusiastically twined with his as she kissed
him back. He wanted that talented mouth wrapped around his shaft as he plunged in
and out. He closed his eyes and tried to think about anything but the beautiful woman
wrapped in his arms. He was so damn close to coming. His balls were tight against his
body and his cock felt as if it was going to explode.
Grabbing the backs of her thighs, he lifted her. She immediately wrapped her legs
around his waist, hooking her ankles together at the small of his back. He could feel her
heat through the layers of their clothing as it pressed against his stomach. The scent of
her arousal was an aphrodisiac driving him closer to the edge.
She still wanted him. Even after everything he'd said, everything she knew him to
be. She still wanted him.
Pulling away from her luscious lips, he left a trail of wet, openmouthed kisses down
her jaw and along the tantalizing curve of her neck. He tasted the salt from her skin,
drank in the sweet cries that fell from her lips. Her legs tightened around him as he
stumbled down the hallway.
He had to get to her bedroom. This time he wanted to spend hours locked in her
arms, fucking her over and over until both of them collapsed facedown onto the sheets