“I’m sorry, doctor, I tried to tell him...” A nurse followed Rick into the room.
“I need to see her,” Rick said. “Cass, how are you? I was so worried.”
“Rick, you really shouldn’t be here right now.”
He came and sat beside her on the bed. “I know, I know, but I had to see for myself that you were
ok. I was so stupid Cass. I’ve learned my lesson this time. When I thought I’d lost you...”
She was so tired she thought she was hallucinating. Rick sounded scared. He was never scared of
anything. In the end it didn’t matter, she was done with all the drama that was associated with him. “I’m
sorry you were worried. Perhaps if you hadn’t taken my skis you wouldn’t have had anything to worry
about. That was childish and stupid. When you get angry you scare me.”
He hung his head. “I didn’t know there was an avalanche warning. Do you think I would’ve left you
like that if I did? I was hurt and just reacted.”
“So it was okay to leave me stranded, again I might add, because you didn’t know there was an
avalanche?” She was incredulous that he could still come up with excuses, but then she guessed she was
stupid for sitting there listening to them. Scooting away from him, she moved to the opposite side of the
bed, and swung her feet to the floor. Standing carefully, she reached for the nurse’s arm to steady herself.
She looked at Rick and sorrow filled her heart. “I’m sorry that my love wasn’t enough for you. I’m sorry
for so many things, but mostly I’m sorry that it’s all ending like this. But it is. It is ending Rick, because I
can’t do this anymore. I meant what I said in the chapel.”
Rick stood to face her across the bed. “Maybe with a little time, you’ll see. You’ll change your
mind.”
“I won’t change my mind. What we had wasn’t love, it was an obsession and it’s over now. I’m
starting to feel something for someone else. There are things that make me realize that there is so much
more out there for me. That I deserve more and I’m taking it.”
“Who is it? That ski bum?” Rick practically spit the words out, his eyes narrowed and lips turned
up in a sneer.
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It has nothing to do with who it is. It only has to do with the
fact that I don’t love you anymore, and I’m not sure if you ever loved me. I hope you find what you’re
looking for. Maybe someone can give it to you.” She wanted to tell him how she’d tried to love him, how
many things she had done for him, how it was always about him, but she knew that he wouldn’t understand
and, most likely, wouldn’t change. It was only their history that made her want to explain further. Only her
pride that made her want him to see how much she’d done for him and how hard she had tried. “Goodbye,
Rick.”
Leaning on the nurse, she turned and limped from the room. She didn’t look back. She’d spent the
last few years looking back. Now, she was determined to only go forward. Headed in a new direction in
life, she hoped that maybe Daniel could be part of it, but if not she knew she looked forward to it, either
way.
* * *
Daniel sat in his room, eating from his room service tray and flicking through the channels on the
television. Settling on a sports program about some team he couldn’t care less about, he continued to stab
at his steak. He was starving and loved steak; however, he didn’t taste a single thing he ate. He hadn’t
seen Cassidy since they’d been rescued this afternoon. They had been taken to separate rooms and by the
time he’d finished being examined, he’d been exhausted.
Someone told him about Rick’s visit to Cassidy’s room. Unsure of what to make of it, because he
didn’t know exactly what had happened between Rick and Cassidy, he’d left her alone since the doctor
told him she had orders to rest. The doctor also told him to warm up and get some sleep himself. He’d
slept fitfully for about an hour, but dreams of Natasha’s accident kept him from sleeping any longer. Why
were they coming back now? For months after she’d first passed away he’d had these same dreams over
and over, but slowly they’d dissipated until finally they stopped all together. He just kept seeing the
In his dreams tonight the body that was lifted out of the rubble changed from Natasha’s to Cassidy’s.
Maybe he was having some kind of delayed shock from the avalanche. When he’d woken up he had been
all sweaty with the sheets twisted around his body. Giving up the attempt to go back to sleep, he’d
ordered room service. So there he sat and stared, unseeing, at the TV. Knowing he needed sleep, Daniel
also knew he didn’t want to see her limp body on the stretcher of his dreams. He couldn’t handle seeing
Cassidy laying there dead.
Wait—Cassidy? It was Natasha’s accident that he dreamed about, but Cassidy’s body. He
wondered what a psychologist would say about that. At war with himself, he wanted to see Cassidy, to
make sure she really was all right, but another part of him wanted to stay away from her. Maybe the dream
was a sign he was in danger of losing another person. Damn it!
Chapter Sixteen
The sun was streaming in through the windows when Cassidy awoke. She must have forgotten to
close the curtains before she finally crawled into the bed yesterday. After the scene with Rick, the bath in
which she almost drowned because she kept falling asleep, and the nurse checking her over one last time,
she’d climbed into bed and burrowed under. Sometime in the middle of the night she’d woken with a start
—jolted awake by a dream where her foot was still caught when the avalanche came. In her dream Daniel
didn’t rescue her; she was stuck there as wave after wave of snow hit her. That’s when she’d woken up.
She had lain there a while, heart pounding, while she counted her blessings for Daniel, which turned into
other thoughts of him. Sweet thoughts. She had faded back to sleep on those.
She felt so much better this morning. Squinting at the clock she saw that it was nine am. She had
slept for over thirteen hours. When she sat up to stretch, her stomach growled loudly. When had she last
eaten? The nurse suggested she get something yesterday, but she’d been so tired she’d only nodded and
promptly gone to sleep. Wondering if she should call Daniel, she thought she’d ask if he wanted to have
breakfast together. She wanted to but was feeling a bit shy about it. Being trapped in a small area with
someone you are attracted to, then being released back out into the world and completely separated, felt
very foreign to her.
She was filled with self-doubt—something she planned to work on. For so long she doubted so
much about herself, but she was determined to move past that.
There was a tap at the door. “Room Service,” called a voice.
She frowned. She hadn’t ordered room service. Hobbling to the door, she looked through the
peephole and saw an attendant holding a tray. She opened the door a crack. “I think there must be a
mistake. I haven’t ordered yet.”
“Yes, ma’am. This was sent up for you.”
She pulled the door back, allowing him to enter and set the tray on the table. Rummaging around in
her purse, she couldn’t find any small bills. “I’m sorry, I don’t have enough on me for a tip.”
“Don’t worry, that’s been taken care of also. Enjoy your meal.” The attendant quickly exited the
room.
Shrugging, she sat down at the table to look at the tray. There was a single stalk of lilac in a glass of
water, a card leaning against it, a box of cereal sitting in the bowl, a side of fruit, a small pitcher of milk,
a covered plate, a glass of juice and a small carafe of coffee, along with the usual utensils wrapped in a
napkin. There was so much on the tray she wondered how the room service attendant carried it. Delaying
the gratification of reading the card, she lifted the lid from the plate. Salmon eggs Benedict with hash
browns, her favourite.
Setting the lid aside, she unwrapped the cutlery and took a bite of the hot food. Delicious. As her
hunger dictated to her mind she forgot about anything except eating. She ate all of the eggs, drank the juice
and sipped at her coffee. After the rations she and Daniel had shared, it was so nice to eat a full meal.
Only as she was picking at the fruit did she remember the card. As she picked up the card she brushed the
glass with the flower, almost knocking it over. Righting it quickly, she lifted the flower to her nose,
breathing in deeply of its fragrance. She loved fresh lilacs. Putting the flower down, she opened the card.
Thought I would send you something to start your day off right. Hope you’re feeling better. Daniel.
That was it. She turned it over, but there was nothing else. Sending her breakfast was so nice of him, but
the card felt rather formal, with no indication of whether she would see him that day. Not that he had any
obligation to her, but they had something. Didn’t they?
Calling his room, the phone rang unanswered, then forwarded to the front desk where they informed
her that he’d already headed out to the slopes. Since she was unable to ski because of her ankle she could
only assume he didn’t plan on seeing her, this morning at least. She knew she should be getting ready to
pack and go home, but she didn’t want to leave yet. She still had a few more days off, even though she
was originally booked to leave tomorrow. That’s how she had originally planned it, so that she could get
home and have some time to organize after the trip. Now she needed the time to recuperate from what had
been a very busy week filled with all sorts of surprises. Maybe that’s why Daniel was avoiding her.
Maybe it had been too intense. Maybe everything that happened was just him being nice to her because
Rick was such a jerk. Well, maybe that was a stretch. Maybe… he was a nice guy who kind of liked her,
but it was the end of the week now and time to move on. Holiday romances or flings happened all the
time. And, maybe I should just stop thinking about it and pack.
* * *
Daniel spent the day skiing. He knew he was avoiding Cassidy, but after being awake most of the
night with continuous nightmares he just felt wary. Skiing wasn’t the cathartic experience he hoped it
might be. Too tired to really enjoy it, his thoughts kept turning back to her. She was a good woman.
Someone he thought he’d really connected with. After Natasha died he thought that was it for him. He had
planned on being single for a long time and was good with that. Afterward, seeing other women hadn’t
been a problem, but he had no desire to settle into another relationship. They were a lot of work and the
end result was more pain than he ever wished to feel again. But, something had changed in him this week.
Something about Cassidy had reached out to him in a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced before.
Finishing up on the slopes, he went into the coffee shop for something to eat, but ended up sitting
there staring into his coffee cup, the cinnamon bun left untouched. He had only seen Cassidy yesterday, but
it felt like it had been weeks. She probably wasn’t very happy with him for just sending her breakfast and
then not contacting her all day. You were kind of a jerk, man. How obvious was it that you were avoiding
her?
As he took a sip of his cold coffee it hit him that he didn’t want to avoid her anymore. He wanted to
see her. Badly. He wanted to talk to her, hold her, touch her and see where this thing went. Wanted to
make her forget that there ever was a Rick. To show her how good it could feel to love someone who
treated you well. Whoa, buddy, hold up—love? Let’s just slow down. He didn’t want to slow down.
Didn’t even know if he loved her after such a short time together, but he really wanted to find out.
Jumping up, he headed to his room to change. There were plans to make and he knew time wasn’t on his
side.
* * *
Double-checking, Cassidy made sure she had everything packed and ready to go. She decided to
leave the next morning as planned. After not hearing from Daniel all day, she figured sitting around
waiting for another man who wasn’t going to come through was a waste of her time. For six years she’d
waited for Rick to decide what he wanted and she wasn’t going to start that routine again. Tired of being a
doormat, she was taking back her life. As much as she was proud of herself for all of these thoughts of
independence she couldn’t help but feel sad. Sad that things had deteriorated so badly between her and
Rick that she ended up on their ski trip alone. Sad that after finally meeting a nice guy, she wasn’t able to
let go of the past enough to really let him in.
However, there were some really great things that had happened this week despite appearances to
the contrary. She’d finally realized who she was and what she wanted out of her life. Even though she
would still need to work on her confidence she knew she was headed in the right direction. She had skied
more and learned more on the slopes. She had met a terrific guy who showed her that there were still nice
guys in the world. If he’s so nice where is he now, Cass? Her self-doubt crept into her thoughts again, but
she talked back to it. He is still a nice guy. Just because he’s not ready to pursue this does not make
him any less nice. She would be forever grateful to Daniel for showing her that she was attractive, for
making her feel alive as a woman in ways she hadn’t felt in so long.
Grabbing the room service menu, she flopped on the bed and flipped through to the dinner
selections. She felt like splurging tonight. She’d skipped lunch in the hopes Daniel might show up. She
couldn’t believe she’d done that, but old habits were hard to break. Lifting the handset of the phone, she
began to punch in the number for room service. A knock at the door caused her to hang up, and she got up
to answer it. Earlier, she’d called down for the bellman to take her luggage down to the baggage room
tonight since she was leaving so early the next morning.
Opening the door, she found Daniel holding a small bunch of lilacs. Dressed in a suit, he looked
amazing. Her heart leapt and thumped so loudly she swore he could probably hear it beating. He looked
so good. Still, where had he been all day? Why did all these guys think that bringing or sending flowers
made up for them being jerks? Maybe he was busy, Cass, you ever think of that? Life doesn’t revolve
around you. No, it didn’t, but a phone call would’ve been courteous. While the thoughts warred inside
her head, all she did was stand there and look at him.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.”
“These are for you.” He handed
her the lilacs. “I remember you saying they were your favourite.”
“Thank you, they are.” Touched, she was surprised he’d remembered.
“Um, can I come in? Or would you prefer to leave me in the hallway?” He tilted his head as a smile
lit his face. His eyes crinkled at the edges when he smiled, and she could see nothing but kindness in their
depths.
“Oh, sure, sorry, come in.” The words rushed out of her, and she stood back to let him in. As he
passed she tugged her shirt down trying to cover the gap between it and her leggings. Not planning on
seeing anyone tonight, she’d dressed in what she called her comfies. They were just an old long sleeved,
crop t-shirt worn with some waffle leggings. The shirt was so old the bottom was quite raggedy.
“Are you leaving?” he asked, indicating the luggage set to the side of the bed.
“Tomorrow morning. I actually thought you were the bellboy coming to pick it up.”
“Nope, I’m not the bellboy. Would you like me to be?” He teased.
She smiled. “Well you are pretty cute, a uniform would only help.”
“Whatever works.” He looked at her so intently, she felt a blush start to warm her cheeks.
“Daniel, I’m not sure what’s going on. You sent me breakfast and then I didn’t hear from you all
day. I know you owe me nothing, but I guess I just don’t know what you want, or if you want anything.”
“Listen, Cass. I’m sorry, I just needed to think about some things.” He grabbed her hands and held
them. “Please understand that I’m not normally an emotional guy. Yet, the things I have felt for you this
week have really rocked my world. When Natasha died I put that part of myself away. I was fine with
that. Then I met you and now I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Okay.” She wasn’t really sure how to react or what to say, but a tiny glimmer of hope flared to
life. He stepped closer to her, still holding her hands.
“From the minute I met you I wanted to protect you. I wanted to take that sadness away from your
eyes. To make you see that you were so much more than you believed yourself to be. So much more than