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The bed dipped when he settled back between my legs.

  At the first puff of his breath I let out a sigh. When his lips

  brushed my already erect clitoris, I put a hand over my

  mouth to hide my smile, and when he sucked gently on me,

  I bit down hard on my skin to keep in the groan.

  Austin ate my pussy like it was his last meal on earth, and I

  gave up to the pleasure without hesitation. Aside from

  murmured yes or two, I gave him no instructions. I didn't

  have to. He didn't need me to guide him, because he

  already knew how to do everything I liked.

  I came softly, a slow and subtle rippling of my cunt under

  his tongue rather than a ful-out blast of climax ripping me

  apart. It was good that way. Smooth.

  He moved up my body and looked into my eyes as he slid

  inside me. So wet he had no resistance, I couldn't hold

  back my cry of delight when Austin's cock filed me. He

  gathered me close. His every thrust rubbed my clit and I

  wrapped my legs tight around him to keep him close

  enough to bring me off again. We came within seconds of

  each other, me without words and Austin shouting my

  name in a passion-strangled voice.

  He roled off me, and I didn't jump out of bed to get in the

  shower, or even to grab a cloth from my nightstand.

  Boneless, sated, I didn't want to move. Fragile, too,

  because I couldn't look at him. I was afraid of what I might

  see in his face.

  It was probably too late for us, and love realy didn't

  conquer everything. We'd tried to be together and hadn't

  made it work. It hadn't hurt for years, but that didn't mean

  I didn't remember how much it had.

  "I'l drive you to work if you want. Pick you up after. We

  can swing by and get Arty and go visit your mom. Get

  your car."

  I studied my ceiling as Austin's warmth trickled down my

  thighs. "You don't have to do that."

  "I know that."

  I turned my head to look at him. "What about work for

  you?"

  He yawned and stretched. "That's the benefit of being the

  boss."

  I sat. "Since when are you the boss?"

  "Since I bought the business," Austin said with a strange

  look. "What's the big deal?"

  "You just never told me, that's al."

  "Paige," Austin said. "You never asked."

  This changed things, and I didn't know why. I got out of

  bed and stripped out of my pajamas, tossed them in the

  hamper and got into the shower, where I contemplated my

  stubbled knees and underarms and thought about the ways

  life could sneak up on a person.

  Just yesterday, Austin was eighteen, captain of the footbal

  team, apple of his mother's eye. My boyfriend. A day after

  that he'd been my husband, and for a while but not too

  long, my enemy. And now…now he was a man who

  owned a business and was there when I needed him.

  Yesterday I was a scrappy, tough-punk girl who had no

  money and wore too much eye shadow. Yesterday I was

  young and stupid and thought love could take care of

  everything else. So who was I today?

  Austin joined me in the shower and I soaped his back. He

  soaped mine. He used my razor to shave his face and cut

  himself in a few places. I didn't make him breakfast, but I

  did make him coffee. It was the nicest morning we'd had

  together in a very long time.

  Even so, I braced myself for him to question me about "us"

  when he dropped me off at work, but Austin didn't say

  anything. He only kissed me and tweaked the single strand

  of hair escaping from my braid. He waved as he drove

  away, and I stood at the front doors and watched him until

  he was gone.

  Paul didn't ask my reasons for why I'd changed my mind

  about the job working for Vivian. If he had, I'd have told

  him the truth. That even though I hoped I wouldn't ever

  have to take custody of my brother, I had to be prepared

  in case I did. And that I was meant for more than being a

  secretary, even if I'd never believed being a secretary was

  being less of anything.

  "Do you want me to cal her?" He was already reaching for

  the phone, but put it back in the cradle when I shook my

  head.

  "I'l just walk down and talk to her." I smiled at him, even though my insides were hopping like rabbits on crack.

  Paul nodded and sat back in his chair. We didn't say

  anything at first, just looked at each other, but we didn't

  need words to share our thoughts. In some ways, Paul

  would always be more than a boss to me, which was even

  more reason why it was time for me to move on.

  "Paige, I just want you to know…" He hesitated, and I

  gave him the time he needed to say what he had to say.

  "I've realy enjoyed working with you."

  "Me, too, Paul."

  "And I wanted you to know, too…that if not for you, I

  don't think I'd have made it through the past couple of

  months."

  I shook my head. "You're giving me too much credit."

  "Maybe." His tone said he didn't agree, but he wasn't

  going to fight me on it. "I just wanted you to know, though,

  that every day I knew I could come in here to work and

  find everything the way I wanted…no, needed it…every

  find everything the way I wanted…no, needed it…every

  day I faced knowing I didn't have to worry about anything

  because it would al be done…I appreciate that."

  He could've offered me a raise, a better computer, more

  vacation time. He could easily have kept me, then, just by

  asking. Paul could've kept me without much effort, but he

  didn't.

  He let me go.

  "I'm not sure there are any slots left in the program."

  Vivian, for al her bravado, couldn't meet my eyes when

  she spoke. She toyed with her files, her pen, the pad of

  paper on her desk where she'd ostensibly taken notes

  during my interview, but where she'd realy only scribbled

  and doodled. "I'm afraid you should've applied sooner,

  Paige."

  "Vivian," I said calmly. "I know why you wanted me to take part in the program."

  She looked up, her eyes narrowing. "Oh?"

  I nodded and let it sink if for a minute before she spoke

  again.

  "Your qualifications are average," she said flatly. "But you come highly recommended."

  I happened to be confident my qualifications were not

  merely average, but I didn't push her on it. "I'm also the

  best candidate you have for this program."

  "You can't know that."

  It was only a guess, but her answer told me I was right.

  No matter how much she'd wanted to get me away from

  Paul and under her thumb instead, she also had to hire

  candidates who could do the work. I also knew this was

  an in-house program, open only to current employees, that

  even if it was "better" than being an executive assistant, it was stil considered entry level, and I could've counted al

  the people working there who'd be interested in applying. I

  didn't care if it was arrogant to say I was the best choice.

  It wa
s true.

  Vivian cleared her throat and put down her pen. "What

  does…Paul…say about this?"

  I didn't miss the way she lingered on his name. "He's very

  supportive of me."

  "And you'd be wiling to leave him?"

  "I wouldn't be sitting here if I didn't intend to take the job."

  Again, she cleared her throat. I wanted to feel sorry for

  her, but nobody had made her start an affair with a

  married man. Knowing Paul the way I did, I doubted he

  was even the one to initiate it. Hel. Even if he had, anyone

  with two brain cels to rub together should know better

  than to poach.

  "I'l let you know," she said finaly.

  I knew better than to poke. I stood and offered my hand,

  which she took as though the gesture surprised her.

  "Thanks for your time."

  "I'l let you know," she said again.

  "I'm sure you wil."

  She opened her mouth as if she meant to say more, but

  closed it abruptly. Without another word she bent back to

  her work and I left her to it. I passed Brenda in the hal,

  and she gave me a squinty look.

  and she gave me a squinty look.

  "Were you just talking to Vivian?"

  "Yep. Is that where you're going?"

  She nodded. "I hope she hires me, Paige. This is my

  second interview for the program." She paused. "I thought

  you said you weren't interested."

  "Things change," was al I said.

  Brenda nodded. "Yeah, I guess they do."

  "Good luck," I said, and meant it.

  "You, too," she said, but probably didn't. "Though I'd be

  —"

  She stopped. I waited.

  "Brenda?"

  She shook her head, then gestured me closer. "It's just

  that…wel, you know. I didn't think Vivian would want to

  work with you because of you know what."

  I kept my expression neutral. "No, what?"

  I kept my expression neutral. "No, what?"

  "Paul," Brenda whispered harshly. Her eyes glittered.

  "What about him?"

  "She…and him…you know."

  "I realy don't," I said calmly. I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction.

  "Don't you? Because everyone knows they are…?"

  I studied her, wondering if she and her "sweetie" ever did it doggie-style.

  "Or were…?" Brenda lilted, waiting for me to respond.

  "Not a clue what you mean, Brenda."

  She frowned, maybe unwiling to go there. "Oh, okay, if

  you hadn't heard. But people are saying it, so I thought

  you knew."

  "What would that have to do with me, anyway?"

  Brenda looked uncomfortable. "Wel, you have lasted

  longer than any of his other assistants."

  I raised an eyebrow.

  "Not that I think you and Paul," she said. "You know."

  I lifted my chin toward the bathroom at the end of the hal.

  "I have to run. Good luck with the interview."

  She nodded and turned on her heel. I watched her for a

  moment before I went into the bathroom, where I ran cold

  water in the sink and dampened a paper towel to press to

  my forehead and against the back of my neck.

  I wasn't my mother, but nobody here knew that. Months

  ago I'd have been sick to my guts thinking anyone believed

  I was fucking my boss, but now it simply didn't matter. I

  knew the truth. So did Paul. Paul, who I was leaving.

  I didn't need to use the toilet, but I went into the stal

  anyway. I put the lid down and crouched there, my head in

  my hands. I took a deep breath, but the scent of ammonia

  and those nasty pink toilet cleaners overwhelmed me and I

  covered my nose and mouth with my hand. I tried to catch

  a whiff of Austin, but could only faintly smel the lotion I'd

  smoothed on this morning.

  smoothed on this morning.

  I could remember, though. How he smeled. How he felt

  and tasted, and not just because of last night and this

  morning.

  From before.

  Austin's behind me, his breathing heavy like he'd just

  run up the stairs. He's got his hand wrapped in my

  hair, tipping back my head so it's hard for me to

  swallow. His prick jerks inside me, but he's not

  thrusting right now. He's close to coming.

  I am, too.

  "Pul it," I tel him. "Harder."

  His fingers tighten but he doesn't pul. "I don't want to hurt

  you, Paige."

  I want him to hurt me. He's bigger than me. Stronger. He

  holds my heart in his hands every day and doesn't break it,

  at least not very much. But I want him to hurt me now, in

  this moment, when my cunt is clutching on his cock and

  I'm ready to burst into an orgasm that wil blind me. I don't

  know why. I just want it, and I want Austin to be the one

  know why. I just want it, and I want Austin to be the one

  to give it to me.

  "Pul my fucking hair!" I grit out the words around a groan.

  His fingers tighten as he pushes inside me, then puls out,

  but he doesn't do more than tug. This boy has tackled

  other boys on the footbal field hard enough to break their

  bones and knock them out. I know he could pul my hair

  harder than he is.

  He fucks into me smoothly as his fingers find my clit and

  his other hand releases my hair. My head fals forward. On

  my hands and knees I can put my head down and look

  under my body to see where he's joined me. Instead, I

  bury my face in the pilow and lift my ass in the air, push

  harder against him, force him to slam his body into mine.

  It does hurt, but hurts so good. Pain and pleasure are

  mingling. I've read about this but never understood it,

  even though it made me creep my hands into my

  panties and stroke myself into coming as I read. But

  it's not quite enough, it's not what I really want. Or it's

  not enough of what I want.

  I pull away, leaving Austin muttering a complaint. I

  I pull away, leaving Austin muttering a complaint. I

  roll onto my back and hold him off me with a foot on

  his chest. His cock is huge and wet from me, and I

  think about taking it in my mouth. Right now. He'll

  taste like me, and I shudder at the thought as my

  fingers move to cover my cunt. I press my palm

  against my clit and pleasure jolts through me.

  I get out of bed and he follows when I crook my finger.

  We've fucked in the living room before. I stand in the

  cool air with the windows open and without blinds,

  showing me off to anyone who might look through. We

  live on the third floor, which make voyeurs unlikely,

  but I'm still aroused at thinking we might be giving

  someone a show.

  Austin smiles and moves toward me. Step and step and

  one more, and my back hits the old plaster walls we've

  never painted. His hands fit my hips just right. His

  knee nudges my legs apart, and his thigh presses

  between mine. He kisses me.

  "What are you doing?" Austin says, laughing.

  "Fuck me." My voice shakes.

  His brow furrows for a minute, but only that briefly. Then

  he's got his hands under my ass and has lifted me, my legs


  around his waist, my back against the wal. His mouth

  seals mine before I can take a breath, and I can't breathe.

  His kiss steals my air.

  My heart beats fast in my ears and the world rushes

  around us. Austin fucks me and I try to take another

  breath but his lips are closed tight over mine, his tongue

  fucking my mouth the way his prick fucks my pussy. I'm

  drowning in him. In this. In us.

  I break the kiss with a gasp and now I understand more

  about the alure of pain. "Put your hand on my throat."

  "What? No." Sweat gleams on his forehead.

  "I want you to do it, Austin."

  Both of us can barely speak, our bodies using al their

  energy for the fucking and leaving little for conversation. I

  dig my nails into his shoulders and rock my hips, getting

  closer. I close my eyes. I want him to do this, give me

  what I want. What I think I want, anyway. What I want to

  try.

  "Put your hand on my throat!"

  "Fuck…Paige…" He's getting close, and soon it wil be

  too late. He'l come, I won't.

  My eyes open and I bear down on him, my legs around his

  waist. "I want you to do it!"

  "I don't want to hurt you—"

  "It's sexy," I argue.

  He'l have to put me down soon. He's got me braced

  against the wal, but even Austin isn't that strong. I bring his

  face to mine and kiss him. And then I make him give me

  what I want.

  "If you don't, I can find someone who wil."

  "What?" His eyes fly open, the pupils wide and dark. He's

  so close he can't keep his hips from moving, even though

  he wants to stop. I see it in his face. "What do you mean,

  you'l find someone—"

  "Maybe I already have. Did you think of that?" The lie,

  cruel, pushes from my mouth.

  cruel, pushes from my mouth.

  I see him thinking about it, as best he can anyway with the

  blood pooling in his cock and orgasm clouding judgment.

  How things have changed lately. How I've wanted

  different things…and where I might have learned to want

  them. From who.

  He doesn't know about the books I've found, ordered

  from overseas, or the Internet chat rooms where people

  address each other as Master and Mistress or Slave.

  Austin doesn't know this part of me that wants to explore.

  "Maybe I've been—" pleasure chokes me "—fucking

  around."

  "Have you?" He's angry in an instant.

  Oh, how wel I know him.

  I don't answer, but my head tips back again. My eyes