EMPIRIC DILEMMA
Sometimes the corner of my eye deceives me into seeing things
that are not there, do not exist. What is this falseness my eye brings?
If we can't trust the evidence of our own eyes then where are we?
Do we believe in anything in this world that we think we see?
Some people think that they've seen ghosts or aliens and UFOs;
some people think they've talked to god who tells them how to solve their woes.
Are any of us really here or are we figments in a dream?
Descartes thought he really was but are things as they really seem?
Can we be sure of anything? Is life just one big massive lie
that we don't get an answer to at any time, and then we die?
JUST CHANGE YOURSELF
It's not going to happen
You want to save the world
nice idea but you'll still fail
You can never change anything
except yourself just change yourself
The world is too big and complex
everything runs on chaos theory
No one can predict the outcome
of their actions we can never
kill the planet only ourselves
We are not that important
and the universe doesn't know we're here
mother earth is as anthropomorphic
as the big guy sitting on a cloud
We must all wake up and accept
that we're nothing more than random chemical events
In humanity there is no divinity
just a lot of stupidity
and that's what calls the shots
cos the guys who run the world
all want the fools gold
which they covet so much
that they stamp on us all to get to it
but we'll have the last laugh because
None of them rule the world
we are not the world
we only move in our own tiny circles
and it's time to adjust our view
It's not going to happen
We can't change the world
only ourselves
so let's do it and make the world
a better place for all by removing the stupidity
and false values that blind our minds
If all the people in the world
starting thinking for just five minutes
each day then we will have
markedly improved our lot
and someone like Bush can never rise again
Just change yourself
Repeat as necessary
JUST LOOK UP
Sometimes at night I look up to the sky
the infinity of stars makes me want to cry
not from unhappiness but out of sheer awe
at the sense of infinity the sky is big, for sure.
Some of those distant lights are bigger than our Earth
yet still people think there's something special in their birth
that they are so important when they are patently not
cos even our whole planet is a dot upon a dot
An infinity of space-time should give us pause for thought
and make us quick to question the huge arrogance we're taught
so look up at the night sky and just take in the view
there's nothing special about me and nothing special about you
But that's not a cause for heartache cos we're here and it is now
so let's crack on with living
before we take our final bow
WHAT TO DO IF TRAPPED IN A LIFT WITH A DENTIST
If you have brought your own wolf with you then obviously all is well.
If you have forgotten your wolf you will understandably start to panic.
However, providing the dentist is in agreement, an adequate substitute
is to whistle the chorus of 'Too Shy' by Kajagoogoo
until the emergency services arrive.
WHAT TO DO IF TRAPPED IN A LIFT WITH A DOCTOR
The procedure for wolf replacement is similar to that outlined above
but involves playing the theme to 'Test Match Special'
with spoons and matchsticks.
If you have forgotten to bring your spoons and matchsticks with you
then a comb and paper will just about do, but be warned that whistling will have no effect.
WHAT TO DO IF TRAPPED IN A KIOSK WITH A CABINET MINISTER
If you have forgotten your tear gas then it is legally permissible
after ten minutes has elapsed to release your wolf.
Anyone foolish enough to enter an enclosed space with a cabinet minster
without adequate wolf protection deserves everything they get.
It is, however, advisable to ascertain their exact cabinet position.
If you discover that they are only a junior minister
then you must wait twenty minutes before releasing the wolf.
WHAT TO DO IF TRAPPED IN A KIOSK WITH MICHAEL HESSLETINE
Run like fuck.
The wolf will be of no use.
HOW DO THEY DO IT?
How do they do it the murderers, the rapists and bully boys?
Inflicting pain and violence treating people just like toys.
I don't know how they sleep at night or what could motivate
a human being to become such an incessant ball of hate.
What do they think they've achieved? Is it something they enjoy?
Does it fill their hearts with glee when they seek out and destroy?
Do they think they're better than the people they abuse and kill
and will they just go on and on never having had their fill?
It mystifies me every day that somebody gets such a thrill
from ruining and taking lives it must be such a special skill.
The politicians aren't exempt I don't know how they sleep at all
after each and every busy day of shoving us against the wall
of intransigence, low intelligence, no recompense, on the fence.
I've always wanted a quiet life and those I meet are much the same
they seem to realise that life is merely an absurdist game
that nothing is worth dying for and nobody's worth killing
that we're all equal in this game nobody has top billing
but still I see that I'm obliged to do no harm to others
and not to bully or harass my sisters or my brothers
so why can't everybody see that this is just the way to be?
Why is there so much penury so many inflicting misery?
How do they do it? Why do they do it?
What are we going to do about it?
WHITE COFFINS
When I was twelve a friend of mine died. He was eleven and I went to his funeral.
In the back row of the chapel I ogled the girls from his school
and thought how nice they all were even though they were visibly distraught.
The dreary, depressing music piped up and we all stood up.
I became aware of movement behind me and four men came in
carrying a wooden box.
I'd never been to a funeral before and I'd never been two feet away from a coffin.
As it passed slowly by my head a horrible thought leapt unbidden into my mind:
"Oh shit! Mark's in there!" Then I thought "Hang on, no he isn't."
Then I thought "If he's not in there, what is in the coffin?"
I was suddenly stuck in a metaphysical paradox
and as a man chanted the meaningless liturgies and platitudes
my mind was racing in all directions at once.
At the end of the pointless service of empty words and false comforts
I realised that I'd cried enough to leave a large puddle on the stone floor
and it struck me as odd that my face could contain that much liquid
and also, absurdl
y, that perhaps I should offer to clear it up.
Throughout the service I looked fixedly at the back of the pew in front - anywhere but the coffin.
Why do they put kids in white coffins? It's a fucking horrible thing to do.
I seems to say "This person never had a life".
Small coffins are bad enough anyway but don't use white ones.
Afterwards, all the adults were stuffing their faces with food and drink,
and laughing and joking. I was really puzzled and angry.
"Hang on," I wanted to shout, "we've just cremated an eleven year old boy,
what the fuck are you doing?"
Now I understand: they ate and drank to experience something
to use their senses, to feel alive.
They laughed and joked about trivial things
because nobody wanted to talk about why we were gathered there and what had just happened
because there were no words to speak.
Now I understand - it's known as displacement.
Twenty three years later I understand all too well.
At the time I didn't, couldn't, didn't want to,delete as applicable.
So I went outside and sat alone in the middle of a large field.
It seemed like days, that half an hour, and it changed me forever.
Never such innocence again.
I looked up at the sky and shouted aloud
"Okay, you bastard, explain this one."
I closed my eyes and sarcastically awaited a reply. None arrived, of course:
no answer to my anthropomorphic gesture of desperation
because there are no gods, no angels, no heaven, no hell, no answer.
The only things in the universe are physical matter and abstract concepts
and you can't have the latter without the former because ideas only exist in the mind
and a mind is only a metaphysical abstraction of a physical brain.
Consciousness is electricity and chemicals and nothing else
and so is the universe.
Therefore I received no answer, but I never expected to
so eventually I got up and rejoined the party
In one sense, but never in the other.
WHO BRED ALL THE REPUBLICANS?
Who bred all the Republicans? Let's see if we can find out.
Which pharmaceutical laboratory or government agency was responsible?
They certainly can't have arisen by the process
we've come to know as natural selection
Cos they're all twisted and wrong
and most definitely unnatural.
They're very much the duck-billed-platypus of the political world;
ugly