Throwback
By Marc Ironwood
Copyright 2014 Marc Joseph Ironwood
License Notes
Fire That Missile
The U.S. Navy shot down a satellite
Over the Hawaiian Islands at night
Make no deal about the military aim
Because the media gave it glory and fame
On February the twentieth 2008
The strike was only minutes late
Many Americans were overjoyed
When the spy satellite was destroyed
Details were on the eleven o'clock news
And the Navy had nothing to lose
Thousands of miles into the sky
Then we all said, "Roaming satellite, good-bye!”
Your Phantom
Notice me I am your phantom
Listen to my attractive anthem
I appear before you as a clown
In this goofy cap and gown
My temperature is 100 degrees Fahrenheit
Performing for you day and night
This open invitation I do submit
All of this just for your benefit
Over my shoulder I carry a sack
Watch my show and eat a snack
Show hours are as you wish
No need of a satellite dish
See the aluminum on my feet
Isn't my silk shirt pretty neat
Not known to be very sociable
Though my actions are noticeable
Very well spoken and not obscene
I am polite and squeaky clean
I will give you this demonstration
You will have to use your imagination
A joker I am, somewhat spectacular
No means a pro, just an amateur
Listen to my attractive anthem
Because I am your phantom
Butterbeans and Pattywackle
Walked into this restaurant
The waitress said, "What do you want?”
I said, "I want a bowl of butter beans
With a side of mixed greens."
The heads turned and the music stopped
Many dishes in the kitchen were dropped
The cook ran out in an angry way
His hair was brown but his beard was gray
The waitress said, "In these parts
Don't use such words as gre
ens or darts!
She looked like Hannah Montana
The cook looked like jolly old Santa
She said, "Pattywackle will be your side dish!
Even though this was not your wish!”
The cook threw his apron on the floor
Then proceeded out towards the door
Twenty minutes later I received my meal
It was to be part of the lunch/dinner deal
To this day I have no idea what it was
Tasted like corn, but looked like fuzz