And looks at me, shyly,
Until our prince is standing
Beside us.
“You were supposed to sit still!”
He is not angry with us.
Exasperated, yes,
But not angry.
We will pose for him again
In a little while.
Our princess takes him by the hand
And pulls him down onto the sand with us. ^_^
I, too, sit up, and dust some of the sand
From my hair. I smile at him
And tell him ‘sorry’.
He grins, almost shyly, and shrugs.
“Well, you probably needed some rest anyway.”
I could have watched the sea for hours.
My princess, though, could not.
“Maris was thinking too hard,” she says.
I am tempted to throw a little more sand her way,
But she can be fussy and I am content this way,
With my prince and my princess by my side.
My princess lays her head in his lap,
Which means I move close
And let him rest his head on my shoulder.
For a while, we sit still,
Letting the sun wash over us
As the sea sings a susurrus lullaby
In a duet with the wind.
I find my princess’s hand
And take it in my own.
She brings it to her lips and kisses it
Then lets it go with a reluctant caress.
“Don’t give up your voice for me,”
She whispers. I do not quite understand,
For I know she would let my hand go
The moment I wanted to speak.
I sigh and tuck a strand of hair,
Behind her ear.
It’s escaped the braids she put it in. ^_^
“How is your sketch?”
I am looking at my princess’s face
As I speak because I cannot look at my prince’s.
I can feel his sigh feather down my collarbone
Before he responds.
“Ruined?”
“I’m sure it’s fine.
You’re always too hard on yourself.”
I would nod in agreement,
But because he cannot see my face,
I make proper words.
I still don’t understand art.
But I trust my princess
And I want my prince to be happy.
“That’s because you’re both biased.”
Our princess snorts
And I join her.
My body moves enough that
My prince shifts away from me,
And even our princess sits up properly
To look at him.
“Oh, Bernhard,” she sighs.
This is already an old argument between us.
None of us will win it. :(
None of us will lose it. ^_^
“Look,” I say,
And point them to the sea.
In the distance,
Just close enough to see,
Is a whale.
I cannot hear its song from here. :(
Salt stings my eyes.
There are moments
When my heart aches
For the sea and my sisters.
I never know when.
I never know why.
My prince and princess notice.
I love them because they always notice,
Even if I have never told them why.
How could I explain my sisters to them?
They pull me close,
Both of them.
My family,
My new sisters,
Close to me,
All of us together,
With the salt tang sea
Upon our tongues.
They sing for me.
I join them with my body
What I can move without leaving them.
It is a long time
Before I do not feel
Like I will cry so much
The sea will swallow the beach
And us along with it.
My princess is stroking my hair
And presses a bird-light kiss
To my temple.
I would kiss her back,
Like this, but I do not want to move. :(
My prince is picking sand
Out of my dress.
After a while, my princess asks,
“Shall we pose again?”
I do not need to see
My prince’s face to know
That he is glowing at the question.
Our princess is not good
At sitting still for long.
She is always moving
Like the sea is always moving.
“Let’s do something different,”
My prince says.
He brushes the sand off his breeches as he gets up
And returns to his easel.
Luckily, he still carries his sketchbook too. ^_^
My princess and I snuggle close,
The way we were before. ^_^
Though I sneak a glance at our prince
And, finding him still preparing,
I kiss my princess on her nose.
It’s eel-quick and light.
I like the way it turns
My princess’s cheeks all red
And the way it makes
Her eyes sparkle with joy.
Our prince calls out to us
To shift our positions, just so.
Once we are arranged to his satisfaction,
Our backs are to one another,
My princess’ head on my shoulder,
Her golden hair spilling down my arm.
My head is tilted slightly,
And my eyes are closed.
If I can just hear the sea,
And feel my sister’s body
And do no think about anything,
I am content.
We stay like that until my prince
Has finished his drawing.
And then, our princess and I,
Splash in the waves and start
To hunt the shallow pools
For supper. ^_^
In a Flutter
I miss my cat.
Thanks to my princess,
I’ve been able to tell my prince
What I call my cat and that it is not
‘Red Ocean’ at all, but it is fine
If he calls her that.
I don’t know how to explain
Why I chose that name
And I am strangely glad.
I miss my sisters.
My prince says that,
Once we can travel again,
We must all travel back to
His kingdom to visit his family. ^_^
It is a state visit.
My princess has been in a flutter
Since he told us. Worryingly flitting
Here and there,
Trying to get everything sorted.
“I bet they’ll expect me
To be pregnant,” she grumbles
When we are alone.
My prince holds out a letter
That had arrived here as if by magic,
Though my prince and princess say that
It was just a bird.
“Mother will be too busy
Cooing over my sister’s twins.”
He grimaces as he speaks, though,
And I offer him my hand.
He smiles at me, taps my fingers lightly.
“I’m all right.”
I smile back,
And instead I wrap my arms
Around my princess
As she paces past me
And I pull her onto the bed
With
a squeak and a giggle.
Now she is between us
And snuggles up against me,
Her head tucked against my chest.
I kiss her hair lightly and dream.
My prince says that my cat
Can come with us when we return. ^_^
And we might see my sisters,
If they know we’re travelling!
But I don’t know how
To tell them we’re coming. :(
If only the bird messenger
Was truly magic like the Sea Witch.
Then I could tell them!
Perhaps the Sea Witch knows anyway
And will tell them for me.
“Maaaaaaris,” a voice calls.
It takes me a moment to realise whose.
It is my prince’s, reaching out with a brush,
To tickle my ear with it.
It’s a clean brush, of course.
But I dislike tickling even so.
I turn to face him,
Pulling my princess along with me.
“Hey!” she protests,
Though not very loudly.
At most she moves to snuggle me
Differently. She’s so warm. ^_^
“Don’t move so much.”
“What were you thinking about?”
“Shark,” I say.
“We’re not going to be eaten by sharks,”
My princess announces, walking her fingers
Over one of my legs.
When I look down I see her grinning
And I know she was just joking.
Sharks are dangerous, though,
And I don’t know how to deal with them
As a tall-crab. It would be far worse
Than as a mermaid.
I hope none of my sisters
Has been eaten by a shark. T_T
“We’ll be fine, Asta,” my prince says.
“You’re worrying too much.”
“I want them to like me!”
She sits up, abruptly,
And I startle enough to fall
Onto the pillows. >>
“Sorry, Maris,” my princess
Murmurs, though her attention
Is on my prince now.
“They’ll like you.
And if they don’t,
That’s their loss
And they can’t do anything
About it anyway.”
I look from one to the other
And frown, slightly.
It strikes me then
How calm my prince
And how anxious my princess.
I don’t know whether to
Be proud of my prince or
Be afraid for my princess.
“They’ll like you both,”
I say to them.
“And they’ll be happy
For us all.”
I know they will be. ^_^
“And now we should sleep
And think about it tomorrow.”
I yawn, though mostly
It is to convince them both
That it is truly late.
Sometimes they forget.
We curl up together,
My princess and I.
My prince, as always,
Keeps his distance.
Just a little.
Close enough to reach out
Not close enough to touch.
“Tomorrow,”
They breathe almost in unison
As my prince blows out the lantern light.
My ‘good night’ goes unseen,
But I’m sure they know I said it. ^_^
The Nature of Our Relationship
It has been a long time
Since I have been in the sea. :/
On the sea, really.
After much packing
And planning and pacing
We were ready to set sail
And travel to my prince’s kingdom.
The sea is not so treacherous now.
I stand at the bow of the ship,
Looking at the quiet sea.
It’s funny. I’ve never thought
Of the sea as quiet before.
It is always filled with life.
It makes me uncomfortable
To think of how easy it is
To forget what life is like
Under the glassy surface. :(
To think how easy it is
To think about the sea
As a glassy surface even when
It is clearly not glass-still.
I wonder if I will see my sisters.
If they know that I am travelling
To – through – their home, just for a little while.
My prince and princess are asleep.
If my sisters are out in the sea tonight,
I will not be able to see them.
There is barely even starlight.
I have come every night
Since we left port. ^_^
I think…
I think… If my sisters come,
The Sea Witch will have told them.
And if she told them, then
She would likely wake me.
I think.
I hope. ^_^;
Still, I come out here,
To watch the sea as the ship
Cuts through it
And the night light reflects off it.
No sound but the wood cutting through
The water and the waves lapping against
The ship and in the distance.
It is peaceful. ^_^
But I come for my sisters.
If they know I am here,
I want them to know that I came
For them. Waited, for them.
Looked into the waves for them. ^_^
My prince and princess do not
Remark on my behaviour.
I don’t know if it is because they
Do not know how, what, to ask
Or because they know this is something
That I must do alone.
I don’t know how I feel about that. :/
They are my family too.
I don’t know how many nights
I wait on the deck, woollen shawl
Wrapped around my shoulders
Because it is still too cold
For me to be comfortable.
There is no moon the night
The Sea Witch calls to me.
It is just at the moment
When I had wanted to turn
To leave and go to sleep.
Instead it looks like I
Have turned because she called
And I gasp when my eyes
Understand what I am seeing.
My sisters! :O
They are more now
Some only young.
They must have been born
After I left. I do not know them
Why they are here.
But soon they are exploring the deck
And seem content enough.
Perhaps later I can tell them
About the dangers of ships. ^_^
The sisters who remain
Are the sisters I have left.
One of them hisses when
I move forward to hug them
And I freeze.
We are no longer the same
They and I.
It feels… I do not want to think
About how it feels. Perhaps later
When I am alone.
We do not speak,
My sisters and I.
I see them.
Some more scarred
Than when I was still
One of them.
Three of my sisters are
Not among them.
Quietly, the
Sea Witch
Explains that they died.
I cry salt tears that
My sisters do not understand.
One of the smaller ones
Slithers over to me
And asks what I am doing.
I try to tell her,
Am grateful the Sea Witch
Explains it so well.
I think she does.
It is difficult, now,
To understand my sisters. :(
No, it is not difficult
But it is strange,
Like a skill forgotten
Finding itself suddenly
In use again and
All the new things
That I want to share
With my sisters do not help.
We have no words to
Explain them. No way
To share these differences.
At last, we sit in silence,
Just my sisters and I.
I do not snuggle up to them
The way I would when I was
Still a mermaid.
It hurts to know they would
Bite me if I came too close
Because I am too like a tall-crab
For them to see me differently.
I am scared of what would happen
If the Sea Witch were to leave. T_T
She does not.
This time, for now,
She has legs like mine
And they do not seem to
Do her any harm the way
Mine did when I first
Walked on land.
I am envious.
Just a little.
This quiet is companionable.
It is better than trying to talk
And find some middle ground.
The little mermaid that
Wanted to know what tears are
Comes up to me again.
Places a small, cold hand
Onto my knee.
I look down at her
And wonder whether
She is a mermaid like I was.
One who longs to see
The world on land
And understand these strange
Creatures that call themselves ‘human’.
I smile. ^_^
But that only seems
To frighten her. Briefly.
Soon she is back,
Poking at my body.
Pulling on my hair,
Combing her hands through it.
I let her unless it hurts
Very badly. She isn’t vicious
Only curious.
I wonder if she’s ever touched
A living tall-crab before.
Or at all. :/
My sisters watch
Impassive.
The Sea Witch…
Well, she is herself.
As always.
Mysterious as the sky.
I do not know
How long it is
Until morning when
My sisters leave.
One by one
They dive into the water.
The youngest first.
Then… my sisters.
Only one of them
Reaches out a hand
To touch mine without
Threatening to bite me