“I’m real…”Lilly’svoicewasquietandrestrained.Herface reflectedfearofthemanstandinghalfwaydownthehall.Her cheeksweregettinghotandhereyeswerestartingtoitch;she wantedtocryoutforhelporrunaway,butshestoodandstared theinsanemandownwithherbrighteyes.
“It’sjustyou?”Denverturnedtolookbackdownthehallway hehadentered.Judaswouldn’tbehappyifhebroughtherback, buthewasecstatic.Hewantedtobringbothgirlswiththem; Judashadpromisedtheywouldtakebothofthem.“Ifit’sjust you,thenyoushouldcomewithme.It’snotsafeouthere.”He turnedandsteppedtowardthelittlegirl.Sheletoutawhimpered cryashegotcloser.“What’swrong?I’m notgoingtohurtyou.” Hepausedagainandstaredather.Thedoorshewasstandingby openedslowlyandsheturnedtolookatthemanthatwasinthe entry.
“MisterMitchell,Idon’twanttodothisanymore!”Lillyturned andfellintoMitchell’sarmsasshestartedtocry.
“It’salright,youdidgreat!”Mitchellcomfortedher,thenglared backupatDenver. “Hey!”Denverreachedhisarm backtohissidetograbthe rifle;hewasn’tgoingtolosethisopportunitytobewithLilly. “Kyle,yousonofa–”
“Alex!”MitchellyelledoutandthedoorbehindDenverflew open.Beforehecouldturntofacetheotherman,hisfacehad metthehardtileashisheadbouncedagainsttheground.He blinkedinaconfusedhaze.
“Lilly,stayrightthereanddon’tlook!”Mitchellcommanded. Denvercouldhearhisyelling,butcouldn’tmakeoutthewords. Hisheadwaspoundingandeverythingaroundhim was spinning.
“Kyle,youbastard.I’m goingtokill–”Hiswordswerecutshort bysomethingwrappingaroundthefrontofhisthroat.“I… I can’t…”Heattemptedtospeakasthefeelinggrew tighterand quicklybecamepainful.
AlexstoodoverDenverandquicklyshovedtheendofthebelt throughthemetalbuckle.Assoonastheloopwascreatedhe pulledastightlyashecould,thebeltformedtothesizeof Denver’sthroat.Alextookadeepbreathandstoodup.Heplaced hisfootonDenver’sback,rightinthemiddleofhisshoulder blades,andpulledtheendofthebeltashardashecould.The system ofthebeltaroundtheman’sneckandhisarmspulling oppositeofhisfeetpushingwasgoingtodothejob.
Denverquicklybegansquirmingandwrithinginanattemptto getoutofthehold.Hisfingersquicklymovedtowardhisneck, thenheattemptedtothrow hishandsbacktograbAlex’sfoot. Hisheadbegantofeelthepressureasthebloodpooledinany placeitcould.Hisvisionfailedinstantlyasthewhitesofhiseyes filledwithred.Alexpushedharder;Denver’sfacebegan contortingasheattemptedtogaspanyoxygenin.Thiscontinued forafew seconds;Denver’sflailingslowed,hishandswerewaving slowerashefaded.
AlextookonelastbreathinandglancedupatMitchell;he nodded.Withthatconfirmation,Alexsighedandtightenedhis gripharder.Hegruntedashepulledthebeltashardashecould. HisfootheldDenver’sbodyinplaceasthebeltforcedhisneckup andback.Withthefinalmotion,Denver’sneckfellbackquickly; therewasanaudiblecrackingthatfilledthehallwayforafraction ofasecond.Alexheldthegriplongenoughtoconfirm thathe wasfinished;Denver’sarmsfellflatandhisheadbecameheavier againstAlex’spulling.Itwasover.
Denver’snow discoloredfacesmackedthefloorasAlexletgo ofthebelt.Thebloodfrom hismouthpooledinsmallamountson thewhitetileandfounditsfinalplaceonhisunkemptbeard.
“He’sforsure–” “Yeah,Mitchell.He’snotgettingupfrom thatone.”Alex steppedoverhim andtowardtheotherman.“She’sOK?”
“Hedidn’tgettoher,she’sjustalittleshakenup.”Mitchell glancedbackintotheroom.“Sorryyouhadtodothat,Ijust don’tthinkIwould’vehadthestrengthto–”
“Don’t.”Alexstoppedhim.“Itwasn’tthefirsttimeI’vehadto getpersonallikethat.”
“How doyoudoit?”Mitchellshookhishead.“How doyou managetodothatandnotletitgettoyou?” “It’snotashardasyoumaythink.Youjusthavetoremember thatwhatyou’redoingisnecessary.”Alexglancedbacktothe corpsethatwasformerlyDenverGrant,the‘drive-home’radio DJ.“He…”Hepointedtothebody.“…neededtobetakenoutof thepicture.”
“Whywouldyoulethim leavewithher?Shewasinfected!You compromisedthecamp!”Judas’increasedhisvolumeashe angrilyyelled.“Themilitaryisgivingyouunfetteredaccesstothe infected,andyouwanttothrow thataway?Whatiswrongwith you?!”
“Alright,thatisenough!”AndreiturnedtofaceJudas.“Ihave hadenoughofyouquestioningmeandtellingmewhatyouthink I’vedonewrong.Youhavenoideatheweightofthissituation! You’restillthinkingonsuchasmallscale.”Andreisteppedpast Judasandpickedupachartthatwasfilledwithvariousnames andbarelylegiblescribbling.“Haveyoulookedatthischart, Judas?Haveyoubotheredtoeventakeinhow manypeopleare listedhere?”HeshovedthecharttowardJudas.Judashesitated andstaredathisfatherangrily.Andreirolledhiseyesand smackedtheclipboardagainsthissonschest,forcinghim totake it.“Thatlistisabouttenshyofthree-hundred.Three-hundred individualsthatwereinfectedwithanunknownparasite.Threehundredindividualsthatspedtothehospitaltobecheckedout, thatwenttotheirnearestemergencyroom,orclinic,orjustwentin toseetheirdoctorandweretoldnothing.”
“Thatdoesn’tseem likethatmany.”Judasstaredatthelistand flippedthroughthepages.Hiseyesscannedtheredmarkingsnext toeachname.“Wait…”Hecontinuedtostareatthenamesandthe notesoneachofthepages.“Allofthesepeoplearedead.”
“So,you’renotasinattentiveasI’dthoughtyouwere.”Andrei tookthechartandhandedhim asecondone.“You’recorrect.All three-hundredofthepatientsonthisonearedead,that’swhatthis chartisfor.”HetosseditbacktothecounterandhandedJudasa secondchart.“Thisisthelistofpeoplethatarestillalive.”The clipboardheldasinglesheetofpaperwithsignificantlyless writing.“Fourteen.Fourteenoftheinfectedthatthemilitaryhas roundeduparestillalive.”Andreiglancedatthechart.Hegrabbed itbackfrom Judas,removedaredpenfrom hispocket,and scratchedoutonename.Hewrotetheword‘deceased’nexttoit, followedbyatimeanddate.“Myapologies,thirteen.Asfaras they’reconcerned,Ariaisdead.I’llupdatetheotherchartlater…”
“Intime,Judas,you’regoingtolearnaveryimportantlesson.” Andreigrabbedthechartandtosseditnexttothelargerone.“I reallydon’tcarewhatyouthink.”Hesteppedawayfrom the collectionofcharts,imagesandvariousothermedicaldocuments andsatinachairbehindafoldouttable.Thetablewasworn downandcoveredwithvariousbooksanddiagrams;Andreisatin thechairclosesttothewall.Onthetablewasapieceofpaperthat hadthename‘AndreiGrigorev’elegantlywritten;itwastapedto thetablewithwhatappearedtobeclearmaskingtape.Judassat atthetable,oppositeofAndrei.“It’snothingpersonal.You’rea smartchild,andIloveyouforit.”Heleanedbackasfarashe couldinhischeapfoldingchair.“Therearetwothingsyouneedto getthroughyourhead,though.Thefirstissimple;Iam smarter thanyouandhavemoreexperiencethanyouwilleverhaveinyour lifetime.Iam veryproudthatyou’vetakenaninterestinmedicine, andIreallyappreciateyourhelphereasanassistantofsorts, but…”Hestareddownathismakeshiftnametag.“Youneedto know yourplaceinallthis.Youaren’tme.Youwillneverbeme andyouwillneverbethepersonintheleadhere.”
“I’m nottryingtobeyou!”Judasprotestedandslammedhis handontothetable.Theenergyfrom hisfisthittingtheplastic causedapileofbookstobecomedisruptedandtheyfelltothe floor.“Sorry,I’llpickthoseup.”
“Well,thatworkedout.”Andreileanedforwardandstoppedhis sonfrom movingtocleanupthemess.“Thisleadsmetothe secondpointthatyouneedtogetintoyourskull,Judas.”
“What?”Judassettledbackintohischairandstaredathis father.
“Youneedtokeepyourselfincheck.Youhaveananger problem.It’sprobablymyfault;Icangooff thedeepend occasionally,butyou…”Andreishookhishead.“You’realoose cannon.Youloseyourtemperwaytoooften,andyouseem to sincerelythinkthatyou’realwaysgoingtogetyourway.You’ve neverhadanyrealobstaclesinyourlife,Judas.I’vealwaysbeen thereforyouandhavealwaysmadesureyouhadeverythingyou needed.MaybeIspoiledyou,maybeIshould’vebeenmorestrictor disciplinedyoumore,Idon’tknow.WhatIdoknow isthis;you needtomakesurethatyouareabletokeepacalm andcollective demeanorinsituationslikethis.Throwingyourweightaround, throwingyourfistsaround…”Andreiputhispalmsonthetable. “Whensomethinglikethishappens,somecrisislikethisinfection; theonlythingpeoplecareaboutissurvival.Ifyouapproacha situationthinkingthatyou’regoingtogetyourwaynomatterwhat happens;you’regoingtogethurt,orworse.”
“Myproblem’snotwithanger,it’swithpeoplenotacceptingthe chainsofauthority!Likehow Alexquestionedmeonmydiagnosis orhow–”
“How youseem tokeepquestioningme?”Andreileanedb
ack again.“That’sratherhypocriticalofyou,isn’tit?Tosayyouhateit whenpeoplequestionauthority,thenturningaroundand questioningyourownfather.”Helaughed.
“I–no,Idon’t…”Judasstutteredoverhiswords.“Idon’tmean toquestionyou.IjustwantyoutoseethatIcanfollow inyour footsteps,thatIcankeepupwithyouandhelpyouinallthis!”
“Idon’twantyoutofollow inmyfootsteps,Judas!”Andrei’s volumeincreasedwiththisstatement.“Backtothefirstpoint,you needtomakeyourownway,makeyourownfootsteps!Idon’t wantyoutobeme,Idon’twantyoutogothroughwhatI’vegone through,ortorepeatmylegacy.That’smylegacyforareason.I’ve donewhatI’vedone,andIappreciateyouidolizingmeforthat,but it’snotyou.”Hesighedandcalmedhimself.“Listen,oneday, hopefullyinthewayfaroff future,Iwon’tbearound.Iwilltake myfinalstepsandmyfinalbreath;then,what?Whatdoyoudo whenthefootstepsyoufollowedcometoanabruptend?”
“ThenIpickupwhereyouleftoff.Itakethehelm andcontinue tohonortheGrigorevname!”Judashadalookofdisappointment onhisface.
“Youreallyaren’tgettingit…”Andreionceagainleanedback. Hestartedtospeakbutwasinterruptedbyaknockingonthedoor. “Comein!”
“Ijustwantedtocheckinonyou,sir;seeifyouneeded anythingfrom me?”Thesoldierpokedhisheadinandlooked aroundtheroom.HiseyesmetwithJudas’.“Myapologiessir,I didn’tmeantointerruptyou.”
“Notatall,King,comeonin.”Andreiwavedforthemantoenter theroom.Heobeyedandshutthedoorbehindhim.“King,Idon’t believeyou’vemetmyson.ThisisJudas.”
“Verynicetomeetyou,Judas.You’refatherisgreatman.”King steppedforwardinpreparationforafriendlyhandshake.Judas lookedawayfrom KingandbacktowardAndrei.
“Iknow heis.”JudasignoredKing’sgesture.“Iintendtobeas greatamanashim.”Kingheldpositionforamoment,butstepped backwhenitwasclearthatJudaswasn’tgoingtoreciprocate.
“Myapologies,King.”Andreistoodup.“Idon’tknow wherehe learnedtobesodisrespectful.”Hewalkedaroundthedesk.“I appreciateyoucheckinginonmelikethis.”
“Notaproblem atall,sir.”KingsmirkedatAndrei.“Didyou needanythingatthistime?” “No,thankyou.”Andreismiledback.“Asamatteroffact,you’re dismissedfortheremainderoftheevening.Iwantyoutogoget somesleep.”
“Thankyou,sir.”Kingnodded.
“Iwouldn’tthankmeyet.”Andreilaughed.“YouandIaregoing onafieldtriptomorrow.”
“Sir?”KingstaredatAndreiconfused.“Arewebeing reassigned?” “I’m goingtogotalktothechainofcommandhere
momentarily.”Andreiputhishandonthedoorknobandopenedit. “YouandIaregoingtoleaveforthehospitalfirstthinginthe morning.There’snothingmoreformetodohere,soIwanttoget backthereandseeifwecancontinueourresearch.”
“Alright,soundslikeagoodplan.”Kingturnedandexited.“I’ll packmythingsandbebackhereatsix?”
“Norush,makeiteight.”Andreismiledagain.“Getsomesleep, andgoodnight.” “Yes,sir,thankyou.”Kingleanedbacktowardtheroom.“Itwas anhonortomeetyou,Judas.I’m sureyou’lldogreatthingsout there.”
“Yeah,thanks.”JudasturnedandwavedatKing.Andrei pushedthedoorclosedandsteppedbacktowardthedesk.He leanedhisbackagainstthedoorandstaredathisson;Judaswas staringatthewhiteboardbehindthedesk.“Doyouthinkthereare multipletypesofthisparasiteor–”Hiswordswereinterruptedby ahardsmackagainstthebackofhishead.“Hey!”
“Youareadisappointment!”AndreiloomedoverJudas aggressively.“How dareyoubesodisrespectfultoKing!Thatman savedmylifeandhasdevotedhimselftobeingmypersonal bodyguard.Heisanidealsoldier,hehasrespectandhonorthat youcouldneverevenhopetotouch!”
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”Judasstaredupathisfather confused.“Iwasn’ttryingtobedisrespectful.” “Really?”Andreisteppedbackandchuckled.“Youweren’t ‘trying’tobedisrespectful?That’sembarrassing;Iraisedyouso muchbetterthanthat.”
“You’reright,I’m sorry,father.”Judasstaredbacktothedesk. “IfImayask,what’satthehospital?”
“Hopefully,somethingmorethanwhatwehavehere.”Andrei walkedbacktohischairandsatdown.“Thepeoplehereareall toofaralongintheprocess,Ican’tdoanythingforthem.Atthis pointtheonlyworkI’dbedoingisdissectionandanalysis.No, that’snotenough.”Andreistaredatthetableinfrontofhim.“I needtobeabletobewiththepatientfrom stepone;Ineedtoinfect ahostandtestfrom there.That’stheonlywaywe’regoingtomake anyprogress.”
“Youcould’vetestedthatwoman,shewasn’tinfecteduntilshe gothere.”Judas’commentwasenoughtocatchanangeredglance from Andrei.“I’m sorry,Ididn’tmeananythingbythat.Iwasout ofline.”Judasstoodupandturnedtowardthedoor.“Youhavemy word;I’llapologizetoKingandmakeabetterimpressionwhenwe leaveinthemorning.”
“We?”Andreistaredathissonwithcontempt.“Oh,no,Judas. There’sno‘we’,you’restayinghere.KingandIwillbegoingalone. I’llseetoitthatyouareassignedapermanentposthere.”Hesat backandshuffledseveralsheetsofpaper.“You’regoingtomake yourownwayinyourlifefrom hereon.Itriedtohelpyouswim, now I’m goingtoletyousink.”
“No,father,Ihavetocomewithyou!”Judasprotested. “Notgoingtohappen,Judas.”Andreigrabbedthestackof paperandstoodbackup.“Now isthetimeforyoutomakeyour owndamnfootprints.”
Judasstaredblanklyatthetrayinfrontofhim,thenshifted hiseyestothegirlsittingsilentlyinthechair.Whydidshe sacrificeherselfforherfather?Alexshould’vebeentheoneto comewithhim whiletheothermantookherandthelittlegirl awayfrom thisplace.PartofJudasfeltawfulaboutthiswhole situation,heintendedsomethingcompletelydifferent.Another partofhim feltrage;rageforthefactthatAlexhadn’tcometotry andsaveheryet.She’dbeensittingtherequietlysincetheygotto theroom,onlyspeakingenoughtoaskquestionsaboutvarious things.
“How areyoufeeling?”Judasaskedthesamequestionhehad before,hewasn’tsurewhatelsetosay.
“I’m fine.”Ciaraglancedaround.“It’sstillcoldinhere.”
“Iknow.”Judasshiftedhisblankstaretothetrayagain.“I don’thaveaccesstothethermostat.TheonlyonethatIsaw for thisareawassmashedandlookedlikeithadbeenrewiredto somethingelse.Unfortunately,I’m notanelectrician.”Heglanced upather,herstoicfaceremained.“Sorry.”
“No,it’salright.”Ciarasighed.“Doyouhaveanywater?I’m feelingabitdehydratedwithallthat’sbeengoingon.”
“Sure.”Judasstoodupandwalkedovertoasmallfridge.He openedthedoorandpulledtwobottlesfrom theshelf.“Thefridge doesn’treallyworkeither,soit’snotexactlychilled.Isthat alright?”
“That’sfine,thankyou.”Ciara’svoicewasfriendly,itwasa nicechangefrom whatJudas’hadbeendealingwith.
“How oldareyou,Ciara?”Judassatbackdownandgaveher oneofthebottles.
“I’m twelve.”Sheplacedthebottleonthetablebyherside… “MayIaskwhy?”
“Youactolder.You’requitetheadultforatwelveyearold.” Judasstaredather.“You’realsotallerthanaverage.” “Iknow,I’m thetallestoneinmyclass.Ithinkit’sbecausemy dadissotall.”Herwordscausedhertopause.Shechokedback theemotionandcontinued.“IfI’m annoyingyou,I’m sorry.”
“Notatall,you’reverykind.”Judasattemptedtosmileather. “Whataboutyourmother?Wasshetallaswell?”
“No,shewasshorterthannormal,actually.”Ciarasmirked. “Shewasn’tmuchtallerthanmebeforeshedied.”
“Oh,myapologies.”Judaswasappreciativeofthe conversationthatwastakingplace,itwasagoodfeelingto connectwithsomeone.“How didshedie?
“She,uh…”Ciarastareddownatherlap.“Sheactuallydiedin theaccidentthattookmyleg.Hercarwentoffthesideofthe roadwhenshewastakingmetoschool.Itwasall…”Shepaused andtookabreath.“Ithinkitwasalljustaterribleaccident. There’snowayshewould’vedonethatonpurpose,right?”
“Oh,I,uh…”Judaswastakenabackbythisquestion.“Idon’t know her,soIdon’tknow whatshecould’vebeengoingthrough. Suicideissomethingthatcancomewithanumberofillnesses; depression,braindamage,drugabuse,post-traumaticstress disorder.”HeglancedbackatCiara;sheclearlydidn’twantthe medicalresponse.“I’m sorry,I’m sureitwasalljustanaccident.” Hesighed.
“You’readoctor,aren’tyou?” “Aboutascloseasyou’llgetinthiscity.”Judasperkedup,his pridewasgoingtogetthebestofhim andhewasgoingtoletit.“I waswithinayearofbecomingacertifiedmedicalprofessional.I wasgoingtogointobiologicalresearchanddevelopment.”
“What’sthat?”Ciara’scuriosityshoweditself.
“It’skindoflikeaspecializedepidemiolo
gist,butalsotouches onpathology.”Judassmiledagain.
“Epi…demiology.That’s…”Shestaredup.“Inpeople?” “I’m surprised,youknow someGreek.”Judasbegantoloosen up.“Youwereveryclose.Epiiswithin,Demosispeopleorgroup. So,it’sthestudyofinfectionwithinagroupofpeople,hencethe infectiousdiseasetitle.”Heglancedather.“How didyouknow that?”
“Iwaspartofaspecialstudygroupinschool.Istayedafter withMrs.ReynoldsandwelearnedalotoftheGreekandLatin rootwords.”Shestareddown.“Ilovedstayingafterwithher.We wentoversomanythingsandlearnedtheadvancedtopicsthat weren’tbeingtaughttoourgrade.”Herexcitedsmileslowlyfell.“I doubtshemadeit…”
“Areyousureyou’retwelve?You’renotlyingtomeareyou?” Judaspulledafolderfrom thecounter,itwasfilledwithvarious papers.Hestaredatthecoversheet.“Seriously?Youreallyare twelve?”
“Yeah…”Ciaralookedovertothefolder.“Isthatmymedical file?” “Yesitis.”Judascloseditandplaceditbackonthetable. “Youwenthereforprettymucheverything.Iwasluckyenoughto haveaccesstothefileroom,soIknow yourhistory.”
Therewereseveralsecondsofsilencebetweenthetwoof them,neitheronewaslookingforafriendintheother,butthe conversationwasatleastenoughtopullthem outofthereality andtheweightofthesituation.Theybothsatandstaredat nothinginparticular.Ciara’seyesglancedaroundtheroom to variousobjects;theriflesittingonthecounterbythesink,the varioussyringesandmedicalobjects,theopendrawerthat containedeverythingaseriousdoctorcouldeverwant.Thenthey felltothedriedredspotonthetile;shecouldtellitwasblood. Shedidn’twanttoknow whothebloodbelongedto,norwhythey bledoutintheroom theyweresittingin.Forsomereason,the driedbloodmadehermoreuncomfortablethanthemanthathad kidnappedher;hadJudaskilledsomeoneintheroom?Washe planningondoingthesamethingtoherifthingswentwrong? Wouldthisbewhereshedied?Thiswasn’twhereshewantedto die;shewantedtosurvivethisandjustgetoutoftherewithher father.Shewantedthismorethananythingelse.Thethoughtsin hermindracedtothehundredsofthingsherfatherhadtaught her,themillionsofthingshe’dtoldhertodoincaseswhereshe neededtosurvive.HerracingmindwaspausedwhenJudas stoodup.