“Iknow youdon’t.”Mitchellsmirked.“Couldyoupleaseclimb backthereandcheerCiaraup?”
“No,Idon’tneed–” “Nonsense.Ifanyonecandoanythingtomakesomeoneelse feelbetter,it’sLillyBarber.”Mitchellpeeredupintothemirror andsmiled.Ciarastaredathisdarkeyesandsmiledback.“There wego.”Lillyclimbedoverthecenterconsoleofthevehicleand intothebackseattositbyCiara.Mitchelllookedbacktothe entrywaywhereAlexwasstillstanding.Heplacedthegascanon theconcretenextthedoorwayandpulledahandgunfrom his pocket.Mitchellwatchedhim walkintothehouseandcautiously checkthearea.
“So,you’refullnameisLilly-Anne,butyoupreferLilly?”Ciara spokesoftlytothelittlegirlnexttoher.
“Yeah,Lilly-AnneRebeccaBarber.Idon’tlikebeingcalled Lilly-Anne,butdaddylikestocallmeLilly-Annejusttomakeme mad.”Shelaughed.“What’syourfullname?”
“CiaraKatherineLangley.”Ciarasmiledather.“Whydon’tyou likeLilly-Anne?”
“BecauseprettyladiesarecalledLilly,notLilly-Anne!”She explaineditwithabitoffrustration.
“Well,Idon’tthinkitwouldmatterwhatyou’recalled,Lilly. You’reverypretty.” “Thankyou!”Lillyblushedexcitedly.“You’reprettytoo!Ilike yourglasses!”
“Thanks.”Shesmiledagain.Mitchellwashappytoseethetwo ofthem gettingalong,andhewasgladthatLillycouldworkher magiconCiara.
“Isthatyourhouse?”LillypointedtothebuildingthatAlex wasstandinginfrontof.
“Itwas.”Ciara’stonefelllow again.“Untilallthishappened.” “Oh.Ifthisisn’tyourhouseanymore,thenyouhavetocome tomisterMitchell’snew house.”Sheleanedforwardtoward Mitchell.“MisterMitchell,canCiaraandMisterAlexcometoyour new house?TheycanhaveKit-Kit’sroom.”
“Who’sKit-Kit?”Ciaratriedtochangethesubjectinher conversationwithLilly. “He’smycat!He’ssocuteandhelikestosleeponmyhead.” Lillygotexcitedonceagain.“MisterMitchellisgoingtogethim a girlfriend.HernameisgoingtobeFrisbee!”
“Frisbee?”
“Don’task.”Mitchellinterjected.“Shelikesitandthat’sabout allyou’regoingtogetfrom–”Mitchell’slightheartedstatement wascutshortbyasoundthatwasalltoofamiliarforhim.He turnedhisheadtolookbackatthehouse,Alexwasnolonger standingandstaringintotheentryway.
“Thatwasagun–”Ciarawascutoffagainbyanotherloud bang.Shejumped,Mitchellcouldseethathereyeswere beginningtofillwithtearsagain.Shebitherbottom lipand staredpasthim atthehousesheoncecalledherhome.Lilly lookedlikeshewasabouttosaysomething,butwasalsosilenced byathird,fourth,thenfifthandfinalbang.Afterthefive gunshotstherewasasilencethatfellovertheentirearea.There wereseveralminutesofsilenceandmotionlessairthatfeltlike forevertoeachofthem.Ciara’sbreathingspedupwitheach passingmomentuntilshecouldn’ttakeit.
“Dad!”Sheturnedandshovedherdooropen.Shestruggledto exitthehigher-sittingvehicle;shehadsomedifficultygettinginto themilitarytruckthatAlexhadstolen,butthiscarsathigher. Sheplacedherfootinfrontofherselftocatchherselfasshe pushedout,butwasunabletomaintainherstability.Mitchell turnedthekeytotheoffpositionandthrew thedriver’sdoor open.HemovedasquicklyashecouldtohelpCiarabackup.
“Ciara,areyouOK?”Heheldhisarm aroundherandlooked herover.Shedidn’tappearinjured. “I’m fine.”Shelookeddownandbrushedthedirtfrom her shirt.“Weneedtocheckonmydad.”Mitchellkepthisarm aroundheranddidn’tmove.Thetwoofthem staredatthehouse, bothknew thattherewereahundreddifferentpossibilitiesthat outlinedwhathappened.Fivegunshotsseemeddefensive,soit waslikelythatsomeone,orsomething,wasinthehousewhen Alexwalkedin.Thatwasthemostlikelythingthathappened,but MitchellwaswonderingifAlexhadsuccessfullydefendedhimself.
“AreyouOK,Ciara?”Aquietvoiceshotoutfrom behindthe twoofthem.
“Lilly!”Mitchelllookedback.“Whydidyougetoutofthecar?” “IwasworriedthatCiaragothurt.”Sheshylyresponded.“I’m sorry,misterMitchell.”Shegavehim asaddeningfrown.“Ididn’t meantomakeyoumad.”
“No,you’realright.”Hesighed.“I’m sorry.Thankyouforbeing soconsiderate.”Mitchellsmiledbackather,shesteppedtoward thetwoofthem andgrabbedholdofMitchell’slegontheside thatCiarawasn’ton.Thethreeofthem stood,silent,andstared atthehouse.Afterafew momentsofanticipation,Alexwalked backtowardthedoor.
“Whyareyouallstandingthere?”Alexshothisquestionatthe threeofthem.Hewasholdingontohishandgun,hisclothinghad gainedseveralnew stains.
“Wewereallalittleconcerned,Alex.”Mitchellresponded. “Don’tbe.”Heshovedhishandgunbackintohispocketand
grabbedtheredcontainerthathadbeensittingontheporch.“I’ll berightback.”Here-enteredthehouse;thethreeofthem stayed standingbythecarandstaredatnothinginparticular.Thesun wasfallingintoit’sslow trajectoryasthesecondsturnedinto minutes.Thecloudsfrom themorninghadpassed,andtheearlymiddaywasbeginningtoshow it’sface.Theneighborhoodwas quiet;asquietasithadbeenforquiteawhilenow.Thewindblew throughthefew trees,causingarustlinginseeminglyrandom directions.Thebreezecaughtthewheelofanoverturnedbicycle afew housesdown,causingametallicscreechofrustedbike parts.Theominoussoundechoedthroughoutthecircleof houses,therewasnothingelsetocompete.Eachhouseremained emptywiththeabandonmentoftheconfusedandpanicking families.Afew ofthem hadlightsonoutfrontandopenfront doors,andevenfewerofthem hadcarsstillsittinginthe driveways.Everythingwasinastateofdisarray,butnothingwas destroyed.Itwasasifasmalltornadohadlanded,chosenwhat tooverturn,thenleftwithoutcausinganyrealdamage.It certainlydidn’tlooklikeaparasiticoutbreakhadterrorizedthe smallareaknownasMagnoliaCourt.
Thefirsthouseontheeasternsideoftheroad,thirty-six-zeroseven,wasahousethatlookedmuchliketheothers.Itwasa slightlysmallerhome,butitwasclearlywelltakencareof.The paintlookedfresherthantherest,theroofwasclearlyredone, andthelawnwaswelltakencareof.Itswallshadseenan uncountablenumberofdaysinvolvingtheLangleyfamily;now theywerebeinglinedwithgasoline.Eachoftheroomsfilledwith thefragranceoftheirfinalmoments.Alexknew thatitwasgoing toallendsomeday,ithadto.Heneverexpectedthiswouldbe how.Heneveranticipatedthathewouldbetheonetodestroy everythinghe’dworkedfor,eventhoughhe’dbeendoingthatfor years.Hefinishedpouringasmuchasnecessarythroughoutthe houseandwalkedbacktothedoorway.Heplacedaglassbottle ontotheporchandstoodbackup,staringattheemptinessonce again.
“Canyoustand,Ciara?”Mitchelllookedovertoher. “I’llleanagainstthecar.It’sfine.”WithherapprovalMitchell removedhisarm andsteppedawayfrom thetwogirls.Hestarted walkingtowardAlex.
“So,what’sthestorywithLilly?”AlexcouldhearMitchell’s footsteps.“Whyisshewithyou?Iknow Ariadidn’thaveanykids fiveyearsago,andI’m prettysureshe’snotyours.”
“Sheisnow…”Mitchelllookedbackatherandsighed.“It’sa longstory.”
“Givemetheshortversion.We’vegotamomentortwobeforeI torchthisplace.”
“Theshortversion…”Mitchellappreciatedthesass.“When thisallstartedIwentouttofindAriabecausesheleftforthe hospital.Youknow thatmuch.Well,Iendedupatanoffice buildingdowntowntogetawayfrom theinfected,whichiswhereI ranintothem.From therewejusttriedtosurvive,andgethome. Therewasapointwhereweendedupatthehospitalwhile lookingforAria.Theywereinfectedwhilewewerethere,whichis whytheyaren’twithus.”Mitchellthoughtabouteverything. “Look,thebestwaytoputitislikethis;herparentsweregreat peoplethattookmeinandhelpedmewhenIneededit.Theydid somuchtohelpmefindAria.Youcouldalmostsaytheygave theirlivesforme,andIwillbethankfulforeverythingthe Barber’sdidfortherestofmylife.TheyaskedmetotakeLillyin. Theyaskedmetogiveherthelifetheyweren’tgoingtobeableto andIowedittothem todoso.”Mitchellstareddownatthe concrete.“Ijustwishthishadn’thappenedtoher.She’sbeen throughmorethanyoucouldeverunderstandandshereally doesn’tdeserveanyofit.”
“Herparentswereinfected?”Alexturnedhisheadoverhis shouldertolookbackatMitchell.“How didshenotgetinfected?” “Shewasn’tthereatthetime.”Mitchellrealizedthissentence didn’tmakemuchsense.“Look,thebestwaytoputitislikethis; herparentswereinfectedonpurpose.Shewasn’tinthesame room asthem whenithappened.”
“You’retellingmethatthere’ssomeoneoutthereinfecting peopleonpurpose?”Alexwassurprisedbythisstatement.“Why doIhaveafeelingthemilitaryisinvolvedwiththat?”
“Becausetheywere.”Mitchellshookhishead.“Theperson thatdiditisn’taroundanymore,thankstoherfather.Honestly though,ifhehadn’tdoneit,Iwould’ve.”Helookedbackupat Alex.“Iknow youhaveamilitarybackground,soIam sorrythat Ihavetosaythis,butthey’v
edoneasmuchdamageasthis infection.”
“Iunderstand.Therearesomesickpeopleoutthere.Thereare alotofgoodpeopleouttheretoo,butitjustseemslikethereare somanymorepsychosthananything.Somepsychoswilldo anythingtobettertheirresearch.Iknow aguylikethat.”Alex shrugged.
“SodidI…”
“Ithinkwealldo.Anyway,Iwasjustcuriousaboutthewhole thing.That’sincrediblynobleofyou,Mitchell.”Alexstaredback atthehouse.“AtleastIknow someoneoutthereisstillagood personandthatshe’singoodhands.”MitchellsmirkedatAlex’s compliment;hedidn’tnecessarilyconsiderhimselfanybetter thananyoneelse.He’dmadejustasmanymistakesasthenext guy.“Ithinkit’stime.”
“Areyousureyouwanttodothis?”Mitchell’svoiceshot towardhim from behind.“Imean,Iknow youalreadypouredthe gas,butyoudon’thaveto.Youcouldcomebackoncethisall passes,Alex.”
“Areyouplanningoncomingback?”Alex’svoicewassarcastic. “Well…”Mitchelllookeduptothinkabouthisresponse.“No.I hatetosayit,but,afterthis,Ithinkwe’regoneforgood.” “AndIdon’tblameyouforthatatall.”Alextiltedthecontainer andpouredtheremainingcontentsontothefrontporch.“Atleast thiswayIgettowatchitallburntotheground.Considerit closure.”Hefinishedandtossedthecontainerintothehouse, thengrabbedtheglassbottle.Heturnedtheclothsothatitwas moresteadyinitsplacement.
“Thatsmellsfunny!”Ayoungvoiceblurtedoutfrom wherethe carwasparked.
“Yeah,dad.”Ciara’svoicefollowedcloseby.“Thefumesare givingmeaheadache.”
“Yeah,thefumessmellbad.”LillymimickedCiara’sstatement. “Well,ifyouwould’vestayedinthecarlikeItoldyou.”
“Don’tbelikethat.Youknow thatshejustwantedtotakeit allinonelasttime.Iknow Iwould.Iknow thatIdid…”Hestared downatthesidewalkforamomentbeforelookingbackupat Alex.“I’llgetthem backinthecarandpullitaround.”Hewalked backtowardthecarandsaidsomethingthatAlexcouldn’thear. Alex’seyesremainedonthedoortotheentranceofhishome.He grippedtheglassbottleinhishandandfocusedonhis breathing.Isthisreallywhathadtohappen?Whywasheasking himselfthat?He’dmadeuphismindquiteawhileback,buthe’d foundthattheactionwasbecomingmoredifficultthantheidea.
“Alex,we’reready.”MitchellyelledtowardAlex,Alexresponded withathumbsup. Hepulledalighterfrom hispocketandlittheendoftherag sittinginthemolotav.Theheatliftedfrom thefireanddistorted theairinfrontofhim,itwasjustenoughtodistortthehardwood floorsthatlinedthehallway.Hedidn’twanttodestroyhispast anymorethananyoneelse,butitseemedliketherightthingto do.Allofthemistakeshe’dmadethroughouthislifehadledhim tothisverymoment.Hehadtoatoneforeverythingthathe’d done,hehadtomakeituptoCiara.Thatwasallhewantedat thatmoment,tomakeituptoCiara.
Alexpulledhisarm backandtossedthebottleintothehouse. Theglassshatteredasithitthefloorandthefirequicklyspread acrossthehardwoodfloors.Theflamefollowedthetrailand everythingquicklyignited.Alexcontinuedtostareattheflames astheydancedineverydirection.Thesilenceofthescenewas interruptedbythesoundofsmokealarmsattemptingtoalert everyonethattherewasafire,despitetherebeingnoonethereto alert.Thecracklingofwoodbeingengulfedinbyflamesandthe soundofglasscrackingwasenoughtotelltheworldthatthis wasit.Alexcouldfeeltheheatrisingfrom thefireandthesmoke begantofilltheairabovethehouse.Heturnedaroundand walkedbacktothecar,hestartedtoreachforthebackseat,but noticedthatLillywasnow sittinginhisseat.Hesmirkedand pulledopenthefrontpassengerdoor,thenpulledhimselfintothe vehicle.Hestaredoutthewindow attheblazethatwasoncehis house.He’dsunkalotoftimeandmoneytokeepeverything workinglikeitshouldhave.He’dputinevenmoretimeand moneytokeephisfamilytogether,despiteeverythinghe’ddone wrong.Itwashardtowatchhispastgoupinsmokeinsucha literalfashion.Atleasttheendofeverythinghe’dworkedsohard forlookedpretty.
“Alright,Alex,what’snext?”Mitchelltriedtoturnthe attentionbacktotheirsituation.“Iknow thiswashard,butit’s besttohaveaplanfor–”
“We’regoingtogotoAlaska.”Alexinterruptedhim.“We’re goingtogoasfarnorthaswecantogetawayfrom allthis.We’re goingtogoandneverlookback.”Heglancedupintothemirror andatCiara.
“Well,Alaskaisnice.”Mitchellsmirked.“Iwasthinkingof Wyoming.It’snotquiteasfarawayasyouguysareplanning,but Ithinkwecouldmakeitwork.Somesmallcityinthenorthwesterncorner,awayfrom allthedisorganizationthatcomes from citylife.”MitchelllookedoveratAlex.“Idon’tmeantobe rude,butwecan’tdriveyoutoAlaska,Alex.”
“Iknow,Idon’texpectyouto.”Alexclosedhiseyesandstared attheblackbehindhiseyelids.Hefocusedonthemoment,his breathing,thecracklingofthefirethatwasdestroyinghishome. Hecouldmakethiswork.HecouldmakethisalluptoCiaraand hewasgoingtomakesurethatshehadagoodlife.IfMitchell,a manthathadjustlosthiswife,waswillingandabletotakeina five-year-oldgirlthathehadonlyjustmet,thenhecoulddo everythinginhispowertomakesureCiarawashappy.He’dput herthroughhellanditwasabouttimehehelpedhergetoutofit. “Couldyoutakeustothehospital?”
“Sure.What’satthehospital?” “Weweretherewhenthisallstarted.Mytruckisstillthere.” HeopenedhiseyesandstaredbackatMitchell.“Itmaybealong drive,butthat’show we’regoingtogettoAlaska.”Mitchell noddedinunderstanding.
“Alright.”MitchellglancedbackatLilly,thenforwardoutthe windshield.“Lookslikewe’regoingbacktothehospital.” Alexstaredattheflamesastheykissedtheagingwoodofthe househehadrecentlycalledhishome.Thewindowsofthe upstairshadalreadyblownout,themetalframesweretwisting from theheat.Theblindsoverthekitchenwindowswerewarped andhalf-charred.Alexmaintainedhisfocusasasingleaching thoughtkeptpassingoverhim.
“Ishouldhavegrabbedmyorangejuice…”
“No,Ithinkyoucouldstillgetit.”Mitchellgrinnedandturned backtostareoutthewindshield.
“Youthinkso?”Alex’svoicesoundedserious.
“I’m notdignifyingthatwithananswer,Alex.Yourhouseis currentlyburningatasignificantrate,soIdon’tthinkyouneed toask.”Mitchellshookhishead.“Canwegetgoingyet?”
“Justafew moreminutes.”Alexturnedbacktowardthehouse andcontinuedtowatchitburn.Heturnedalittlemoretosee how Ciarawasdoing.Shewasmotionlessinthebackseatasshe staredattheclimbingblaze.Shemaintainedherfocusasshe sobbedsilently;shewasthinkingthesamethingAlexwas.She wasreplayingmemoriesandrelivingthevariousnightsthey’d spenttogetheronthecouch,orinthebackyard.Shewas,as Mitchellhadputit,takingitallinonelasttime.Hermindwas buildingthewallsaroundherfavoritedaysanddoingeverything itcouldtomakesuretheywouldneverbeforgotten.Itwasalso attemptingtofilterthenegatives;thefighting,theselastcouple weeks,andtheirdeadneighborthatherfatherhadcommittedto cremation.Thentherewerethememoriesthatwerecaught somewhereinthemiddleofthewallsandthefilters.Shedecided tokeepthem forthemomentandwouldcategorizethem later. Shewasproudtosaythatshe’dsurvivedthislong,butpartof heralsowishedshehadn’t.Therewasapartofherthatwished shehadjoinedhermotherwhentheaccidentoccurred.Itwasa smallpart,butitwasnaggingatherconstantly,itwasstartingto claw itswayintoherthoughtsfrom hersubconscious.This wasn’twhatlifewassupposedtobeforatwelve-year-old.She turnedtolookbackatAlexandmethiseyes,hesmiledatherin anattempttocheerherup.Shefakedasmilejusttokeephim happy.
Thentherewastheyounggirldirectlytoherleft.She’d maintainedhercomposurethroughallofthis,shewasstill friendly,playful,creativeandprecious.Ifshewasabletostill complimentastrangerthatwasindesperateneedofsomesortof optimism,shouldn’tCiarabeabletoatleastsmileandmeanit?If achildthatyoungcouldmaintainthatsincereofalevelof optimism,Ciarashouldbeabletomoveonfrom this.Shewas strongerthananyoneelseAlexhadeverknown;atthispointin timeherstrengthwasfaltering.Hewouldn’tthinkanylessofher forit,hisownmentalstabilitywasbeginningtoweaken.He’d repeatedtheseexactthoughtstohimselfseveraltimes;hewas beginningtofeelcrazy,hewasweak,Ciaraneededtostaystrong, theyneededeachother.Everytimehismindwanderedinto familiarterritory,itwasenoughtodrivehim mental.Thereal issuewasthattherewasnothingelseforhim tothinkabout, nothingelseforhismindtodwellon.Now thathewaswatching hisformerhomegoupinablazeofshameandfailure,maybehe couldfindsomesolace.
“Ciara,I’m sorry.”Alexc
ouldn’tthinkofanythingelsetosay. “Justknow thatIloveyou.We’regoingtomakeitthroughthis.” “Iknow,dad.Iknow you’resorryandIknow youloveme.” Ciarastaredattheburninghouse.“Ican’tbelieveit’sallgone.” “Fornow.”Mitchellchimedin.“Youguyswillbefine.Iknow
how harditistogiveupeverythingyou’veeverknown.Thetwoof youmadeitthisfar,there’snowayyoucangiveupnow.You havetoseeitthroughtotheend.”Heglancedtowardtheback seat.“Isn’tthatright,Lilly?”
“Yep!”Lillyrespondedwithasmuchoptimism asever.“You’ll beOK!” “Maybeyou’reright.”Alexturnedtolookbackoutthe windshield.“Ihopeyouare.GettingoutofhereisallIhaveto holdontonow.”
“Thenlet’sgo!”Mitchellwasdesperateinhisattempttokeep them going.Hehadbeenthroughjustasmuchastheyhadand herefusedtoquit,especiallynow thatLillywasdependingon him.“We’llgettothehospital,youguyscangetyourtruckand you’llneverhavetolookback.”
“Yeah,that’sprobablybest.”Alex’stonewasstilldepressing. “Thanks,Mitchell.” “Youknow what,Alex…”Mitchellturnedbacktowardhim withagrin.“…youcanjustcallmeMitch.Imean,we’refriends right?”
“Sure.”Alexforcedaslightsmile.“Imean,ifyou’rewillingto saywe’refriends,then,yeah,we’refriends.”Yetanotherfailed attemptonMitchell’spart.
“Hey,maybeonceallthisisoverwecangettogetherandhave abigbarbecue.”Thiswashislastattempttoconnectwithhim.“I mean,we’llhavetoflyout,oryoucouldflybackdownto Wyomingtoseeus,butweshouldallgettogetherandhaveabig feast.”
“Look,Mitchell,Igetwhatyou’redoing.Iknow you’retryingto cheerusup.Iknow you’retryingtotalkaboutthetheoretical ‘afterallthis’,butdoyoureallythinktherewillbeatomorrow? Doyougenuinelybelievethatwe’regoingtolivelongenoughto makeitoutofthishellhole?Canyouhonestlysitthereandmake plansforafew yearsfrom now?Or,hell,evennextweek?”Alex staredathim,itwasfairlycleartoMitchellthathewasonthe edgeofgivingup.Thiswasacrucialmomentforhim,ifthenext sentencetocomeoutofMitchell’smouthwasn’taturningpoint, thentherewasnoreasontoevenbother.
“There’snothingwrongwithtrying.”Mitchell’sstatementwas agoodchoice.