The doctor sighed again. "I do have a poultice," he said,
knowing he could not leave without doing something. "I can
apply that to the wound if you'd like."
Stacy nodded, her voice soft but not apologetic. "Thank
you."
The doctor was watched like a hawk as he bent over
Tanner and applied the poultice and wrap. He left another poultice with Stacy and gave her instructions as to how to
apply it before taking his leave. He was not a heartless man,
but he honestly believed that Lord Richardson would be dead
by morning.
375
"I WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED, STACY," Brandon said
softly when he, Stacy, Rand, and Miles were alone in the room.
The doctor had been gone just minutes, and now Stacy stood
next to the bed, staring down into Tanner's pale face.
"It doesn't matter, Brandon," Stacy looked up and told
him. "I know whatever it was, it was an accident."
"You're right, it was," Brandon agreed with her, his voice
tight with pain. "But it was my gun, and I want to tell you."
Stacy's heart turned over when she saw tears in this man's
eyes. She was not shocked or angry to learn that it had been
Brandon's gun. She preferred that over it being the gun of one
of the boys who had gone on the hunt and who might never get
over such a mishap. Still, his obvious pain made Stacy ache for
him. He cared deeply for Tanner, and she could well imagine
how he must feel. On Stacy's nod, Brandon began to speak.
"I've never done anything so foolish in all my life. I
pointed my gun--that is, I gestured with it to a place behind
me--and my finger was on the trigger. I knew that Tanner was
behind and to the side of me, but I thought it was the other
side.
"The gun seemed to go off of its own accord. I know that
can happen to anyone. My deepest regret is that I used the gun
to point at all. Ihave two good arms for that. Ican'tthink what
possessed me. I'm sorry, Stacy."
375
Brandon's voice broke then, and Stacy went to him. She
hugged this man who was so like her husband in size and
listened as a sob caught in his throat. It never even occurred to
Stacy to be bitter or unforgiving, and after a few moments
they broke apart and Stacy smiled gently at Brandon.
"God is only good to us, Brandon. I know that He is going
to use this in a mighty way in Tanner's life."
Brandon drew in a deep breath. He didn't know where
Stacy found the strength to do it, but she was actually ministering
to him. Rand and Miles came close at that point, and the
men hugged Brandon and Stacy also.
"Now," ever-practical Rand spoke when everyone had
their emotions under control, "what can we do for you, Stacy?"
Stacy had just opened her mouth to answer when she
heard Alexa's cry in the hall. Her milk came down in a rush,
and when she did speak, it was with her arms tightly folded
across her chest. She spoke as calmly as she could
"Please ask Hettie to give Alexa to Juliet, and then I would
like to speak to Hettie." This was all accomplished in competent
haste, and just minutes later Hettie stood before her.
"Hettie, Rand is going to take you to the village. I want you
to find a wet nurse. You know the kind of woman to look for. If
you need to bring several women for me to meet, then do, but
I want to speak to whomever you bring before she goes to
Alexa. When you leave, tell Juliet to bring Alexa to me."
"Yes, my lady." Hettie's voice was humble. She had thought
to come back and find Stacy a mess, but Stacy's control was a
comfort to everyone near her. Mrs. Maxwell, who had Drew,
was just as calm. Hettie knew that she and Stacy shared the
same faith and wondered if there could be a connection.
Five minutes later Stacy had cleared the bedroom so she
could feed her daughter. She did this while sitting next to the
bed, her eyes more on Tanner than her daughter. She fed
Alexa only long enough to bring herself some relief and
temporarily satisfy her baby.
Not until she'd returned Alexa to Juliet and changed her
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clothing did she have time to think about where everyone was.
Miles had gone with Hettie and his father. Brandon had gone
down to Tanner's study to write letters to the family. Brandon's
first letter was to Roddy and Lucinda, and the second
Now Price, who had come in when Alexa was given to
Juliet, was the only one in the master bedroom with Stacy.
Price was the consummate gentleman's gentleman. As he
stood on the opposite side of the bed and stared into Tanner's
pale features, however, his emotions were starting to win the
battle. Thankfully Stacy glanced at Price just then and recognized
his plight better than he did himself. Stacy compassionately
dismissed him.
Stacy was glad for a few solitary moments with her husband
He was so still it was alarming, but the gentle rise and
fall of his chest told Stacy that it was not yet God's time for
Tanner to leave this earth. Tanner had been placed on her side
of the bed, so it was easy for Stacy to reach her Bible from
where she sat. She turned to Psalm 135 and read quietly to her
spouse.
"Praise ye the Lord. Praise ye the name of the Lord; praise
him, O ye servants of the Lord. Ye who stand in the house of
the Lord, in the courts of the house of our God, praise the
Lord; for the Lord is good. Sing praises unto his name; for it is
pleasant. For the Lord hath chosen Jacob unto himself, and Israel for his peculiar treasure. For I know that the Lord is
great and that our Lord is above all gods. Whatsoever the Lord
pleased, that did he in heaven, and in earth, in the seas, and all
deep places. He causeth the vapours to ascend from the ends
of the earth; he maketh lightnings for the rain; he bringeth the
wind out of his treasuries."
When Stacy finished, she set her Bible aside and began to
pray with her eyes on Tanner's face.
"I want him to know You, Lord," Stacy whispered. "I want
him to have time to come to Christ, but Your will is holy. Help
me to trust." Stacy could not go on.
377
She was suddenly back at her grandfather's bedside, listening
to him tell her that he had believed in Christ. Stacy's
eyes slid shut with remembered joy. God had saved her grandfather
when he had just days left on this earth, and she knew
He could do the same for Tanner. As much as Stacy loved
Tanner, she knew God loved him more. This did not give her a
guarantee concerning his eternity, but as she'd said to Brandon,
God is only good.
"Don't let me forget that, Father."
The young woman standing before Stacy looked shy and a
little frightened as she stared up at the Duchess of Cambridge.
She had a very tiny baby in her arms, whose color was a healthy
pink. Stacy noted that both were clean, and even though their
clothing was coarse, it was well pressed an
d had no stains.
"What is your name?"
"Felicity, my lady."
Stacy could not immediately speak. Felicity had been the
name of the girl in Middlesbrough who had been Drew's wet
nurse. Stacy had prayed for wisdom concerning this decision
and now wondered if this might be God's way of giving her
direction.
"Do you feel you have enough milk for both babies, Felicity?
I would not want you to starve your own child."
'"e ain't never been able to drink all my milk, Lady Richardson.
A've always got plenty to spare."
"Your baby is a boy?"
Felicity's face lit with pride and joy. '"is name's Robert,
after 'is pa."
Stacy smiled, even as an ache filled her. She'd planned to
feed Alexa for at least six more months.
"Robert is a fine name. Do you understand that I would
need you to live here at Winslow, Felicity, and be on constant
call?"
378
"Yes, ma'am."
Stacy nodded, feeling satisfied. "I have just fed Alexa, but
I'm certain she is still hungry. Hettie will take you to Alexa's
room, and she will be the one to tell you when you are needed
Is everything clear?"
"Yes, my lady."
They discussed a few more specifics before Hettie took
mother and son away. Stacy was tempted to watch and see how
she did with Alexa, but she didn't think she could deal with the
sight of another woman feeding her baby right now.
With a determined move, Stacy returned to the bedroom
and Tanner's side. Brandon was sitting with him and seemed
to sense that Stacy did not care to talk.
In the next hours trusted servants came and went. The
poultice was changed, the bleeding had stopped, and Tanner
was made as comfortable as possible. Both Stacy and Brandon
prayed that he would wake soon, but it was not to be. By
morning Tanner was still unconscious. A fever had begun to
rage within his body.
Forty-eight hours later, Stacy's hand shook with exhaustion
as she laid a cold cloth on Tanner's brow. His skin was so
hot it burned her to touch him, but at least the thrashing had
stopped. There had been times when Brandon had all but Iain
on top of Tanner to keep him on the bed.
Neither Stacy nor Brandon had slept, but at the moment
Stacy felt beyond sleep. Brandon had just left to get something
to eat, and Stacy now sat alone in the room.
Tanner's hand lay outside the covers, and Stacy reached
for it. He was so warm, but she held the hand gently for just a
moment and then began to grip it harder.
"I don't want you to die, Tanner," she whispered in some
desperation. "Do you hear me?" Again her grip tightened "I
379
don't want you to die." Stacy's voice was still low but growing
almost fierce in intensity. She squeezed his hand. There was
still no response.
"Don't you die, Tanner," she now hissed at him. "Don't you
dare. You can drum up some of that orneriness that we both
know you're so capable of and fight this. Do you hear me,
Tanner Richardson?"
Stacy was nearly shouting now and shaking Tanner's arm
for all it was worth. A small groan came from his lips. Stacy
stopped, horrified over what she was doing,
"I'm sorry, Tanner," she began to sob. "I'm so sorry. I didn't
mean that. Please forgive me, Tanner. I'm so sorry." Her sobs
were uncontrollable now, so much so that she didn't even hear
Brandon come into the room.
"Come on, Stacy," he spoke gently. "Come get some rest."
"Please don't make me leave him, Brandon," she begged,
her crying still very harsh.
"All right," he crooned "Just come over here to the extra
bed. Price set this up for you, and you haven't used it. It's time
now, come on."
Brandon was afraid that if he called someone to assist him,
Stacy would rouse and want to return to Tanner's side. Right
now she was nearly asleep on her feet. Wishing Sunny was
with him, he urged her onto the bed and covered her with a
blanket. He didn't bother with her shoes or anything else, but
stood by as she cried into the pillow and finally drifted off to
sleep. When he thought she wouldn't stir, he turned his back
on her and returned to the bed.
He was tired enough to sleep himself, and would soon, but
for right now he needed to make sure that Tanner remained
quiet for Stacy. He had tremendous peace that Tanner was
going to come out of this and be fine, but Stacy would be of no
use to anyone if she continued as she was. An hour later Price
came to relieve him, and with Stacy and Tanner still sleeping,
Brandon left that room to find his own rest.
380
381
Another two days passed before Tanner's fever broke and
he awakened. Brandon sat beside him, holding Stacy's Bible
open to the book of Luke. It took a moment before he felt
Tanner's eyes on him.
"Welcome back," Brandon spoke softly.
Tanner licked his lips. "How many days?"
"About six."
"Stacy." It wasn't stated as a question, but Brandon knew
that it was.
"She just went down to get something to eat. I can send
Price for her."
Tanner's head moved on the pillow. "I won't be able to stay
awake that long."
"All right. Do you remember what happened?"
Tanner's eyes had slid shut, but he still answered "Yes. It
could happen to anyone, Hawk."
Brandon's relief was indescribable. "Be that as it may, I am
sorry, Tanner."
Tanner didn't answer then, but Brandon watched his hand
lift slightly on the cover and knew that he'd been understood
and forgiven.
"Did you read to me while I was unconscious?"
"Yes, every day, from the Bible."
Tanner continued to watch her. "You said something
about the wind"
Stacy thought a moment. "That was from Psalm 135-It
s a
psalm that praises God for His power and provision with the
way He brings forth the wind, rain, and lightning."
Stacy waited for a cynical look to cross his face, but it
didn't happen.
"Did you pray for me too?"
"Constantly," she told him.
"Thank you, sweetheart."(
With that, Tanner's eyes closed, but Stacy didn t move. She
sat holding his hand long after it went limp in her grasp.
"Would you like some more?" Stacy asked, holding a cup of
strong beef broth for Tanner. He'd sipped half of it, but Stacy
could see that he was flagging.
"No." The duke lay back, feeling rather spent. "I'm going
to sleep for a while. I hate this weakness," he commented. It
was the evening of his first day awake, but Tanner evidently
believed he should have been able to jump out of bed from the
start.
Stacy smoothed the hair from his forehead and then
leaned to kiss his brow. When she sat back, Tanner reached for
her hand and searched her eyes with his own.
38
3
stacy saw brandon, sunny, rand, and chelsea to the
door. They had come to see Tanner that morning and stayed
for lunch.
Two more days had passed, but he was still feeling very
weak. The entire situation made him testy and frustrated.
Stacy was thankful that the visit from friends had worked to
take his mind off himself for a short time.
Stacy was finding that Tanner wasn't the easiest patient,
but she didn't complain. She had been very pleased to see the
Hawkesburys and the Gallaghers, as their presence offered
something new to her convalescing charge. He'd tried to get
out of bed twice but simply couldn't manage it. At those times
the staff cleared out because he was nearly impossible to be
around.
Nothing was right. The bed was too hard and then too
soft. His food was too hot and then too cold. Stacy had never
seen him this way, but she weathered it all without so much as
a word of protest. She knew it was nothing personal; he was
simply frustrated over being kept down.
Some of his ire had cooled during and after his visit with
friends, but by the evening he was his old cantankerous self.
He had complained to Stacy no less than five times about his
dinner, but she still said nothing, only fixed things the way he
wanted them and continued to eat her own meal.
383
"Will you stop treating me like a baby!" Tanner finally
snapped at her. Stacy's fork stopped halfway to her mouth.
"I'm not treating you like a baby, Tanner," she said reasonably.
"Yes, you are!" he insisted in a foul humor. "You have this
tolerant look on your face as though you were dealing with
Drew and just waiting for him to get over his mood."
"Tanner." Stacy's voice was still calm. "I know you don't
care to be in that bed, but I'm not treating you like a child"
"Yes, you are."
Stacy sighed gently. "If Drew acted as you are, I'd put him
across my knee. So you can see that you're not being treated
like a child or you'd be feeling the pain of it this instant."
Suddenly they both smiled That small example of just
how self-centered Tanner was acting snapped the tension that
had built.
It was just what they both needed. The meal was finished
on a lighter note, and Stacy felt for the first time in days that she might be getting her old Tanner back. She was well
pleased with this, but the best was yet to come, and it would
happen the very next afternoon.
"This letter is from Noel and Elena," Stacy told him. "They