166
want it to be for me and not because of our child " This was;
said calmly, but with conviction.
Two hours later Stacy stood in front of Tanner's town
house and tried to breathe normally She was so fearful of his
anger that she wanted to climb back into the coach and return
to Brentwood. One thing was stopping her. Almost everything
had changed in the last weeks, but there was one fact in this
whole ugly mixup that had been unfailing. Stacy was still head
over heels in love with Tanner Richardson.
She wished it wasn't so, but wishing was not going to
inge her heart. So wirh a ff**Hw*f'*'
Lucinda nodded throughout Stacy's explanation and whei
she finished, urged her to follow her heart. Stacy had grownl
up so much in the last months, Lucinda couldn't have been
prouder. When Lucinda left the room so Stacy could dress, the feeling of pride still lingered, but so did a feeling of loss, the
loss of Stacy's innocence.
,, .._ .Axuicuuur ana Knocked.
with relief when Price answered the door.
"Hello, Price." Stacy's voice was hesitant, "Is he here?"
Stacy's heart had leaped into her eyes, and even knowing how
Tanner was going to react, Price could not turn her away.
"He's here," Price told her and drew her inside.
"May I see him?" Stacy asked as soon as the door closed.
"He doesn't really care to be disturbed." Price attempted
to soften what Tanner had actually said
"Oh, Price, I'm sorry to put you in this position, but will
you please ask him to see me?"
Price nodded reluctantly, and Stacy stood still as he moved
to a door off the entryway, leaving it open as he let himself
inside.
"I told you I wanted quiet." Tanner's voice was little better
than a growl.
167
"I'm sorry, sir, but Lady Richardson is here and would like
see you."
"Well, I don't care to see her. Tell her to get out."
Stacy had expected nothing more, but she still felt as if
;'d been slapped. She remained still until Price reappeared,
lin leaving the door open. The loyal servant said nothing,
ily looked at Stacy and felt an urge to kick his longtime
ster.
"Maybe I could leave a message for Lord Richardson,"
| Stacy suggested, trying to keep her voice from shaking. Price
nodded and did nothing to stop Stacy when she moved toward
the open portal. Stacy halted just outside where she could see
Tanner at his desk. He never looked up, but she knew he heard
every word. She spoke to Price without ever taking her eyes off
her husband
"Please tell Lord Richardson that I'm taking the train to
Middlesbrough to my grandfather's. Tell him that if he wants
to talk with me, he only needs to send word and I'll return
immediately. I don't plan to come back unless he contacts me,
but, please," Stacy's voice wavered and she hesitated before
going on, "please also tell him that I love him."
Stacy stood for just a moment longer, but Tanner never
looked up. Price, seeing that she had gone deathly pale again,
gently took her arm and led her to the door and down to the
waiting coach. He saw her on her way, silently holding his own
anger in check over the way Tanner had treated her. How Lord
Richardson could think that Stacy was anything like Leslie was
beyond him.
Price hovered nearby for most of the day, hoping that
Tanner would come to his senses and go after her, but the
young duke never left the house. It was with great pain that
Price received word the next morning that Stacy had taken a
northbound train out of London.
169
G/mAo/m
middlesbrough
Six months later
stacy carefully lowered herself into a chair and smiled
at Elena's laughter.
"You can laugh, Elena, but I'm not sure I'm going to live
through this," Stacy said good-naturedly.
"Trust me, you will. And you'll be so thrilled with the little
person God gives you, you'll actually forget all of this discomfort."
"I hope you're right. I can't believe I've two weeks to go."
"You might not go that long," Elena said as she studied
Stacy's huge abdomen. "You certainly look like the baby could
come anytime."
"Tanner is a large man; maybe the baby is just big." Stacy
gently rubbed her stomach as she spoke.
Watching her, Elena felt an ache beyond words for the pain
Stacy had known these last months. But at the same time, she
rejoiced, for it was because of that pain that she'd come to
Christ. Stacy came home from London ill with grief and
exhaustion. She'd been welcomed with open arms by her
grandfather, and they were as close as they'd ever been, but it
was to Elena that Stacy turned for comfort.
169
twas during some of the first days, when Stacy was beside
ielf with anguish, that Elena gently introduced her to the
; who could fill the void in her heart and soothe the pain.
, quiet moment with both Noel and Elena present, Stacy
jndered her life and heart to Jesus Christ. She'd always
^d of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ,
she had never applied any of the facts to herself in a
sonal way.
Elena had pointed out in a tender way that the Bible, God's
rd, says that all have sinned and need a Savior. Stacy read te Bible verses herself and realized for the first time what a
.-apreme act of love God had displayed by sending His Son to
Mie in her place. With a heart aching to be comforted, Stacy
Ireached out in belief to accept Christ's gift of salvation.
"Any word from Tanner?" Elena asked gently, as she often
lid--not to pry, but so Stacy would know how much she cared
"No, no word"
"Do you still write?"
"Every week."
"What do you usually say?" Elena voiced a question she'd
never broached before.
"I tell him about village events and how grandfather is
doing. Sometimes I talk about you and Noel and the children. I
even tell him how I fill my days."
"But you never mention the baby"
"No. I've been tempted, Elena, I really have. But whenever
I feel that I just have to tell him, I remember that he thinks I've
been unfaithful. He probably wouldn't even believe that the
baby is his."
"How about your newfound faith? Do you ever talk about
Christ?"
"Not in so many words. Tanner can be so hard, and I'm
afraid of his scorn. I'm sure he'll think I've turned into some
kind of religious fanatic. I tell him I'm praying for him, but I
never come right out and say I'm a new creature in Christ."
Elena nodded, thinking Stacy was the most amazing
woman on earth. Elena had met Tanner Richardson only once,
170
and now found herself having to fight the feeling that the ma
did not deserve a wife like Stacy. She knew that Stacy,
wonderful example to Elena, continued to show love to hii
even afte
r he'd sent her away with a coldness that was frigh
ening. Stacy's explanation of Tanner's first marriage was j
great help, and although Elena didn't understand, neither dif|
she hate Tanner. She continued to pray for him even as shej
was completely confused by his actions., ]
A sharp, indrawn breath from Stacy suddenly snapped'
Elena out of her musings. Elena looked over to see Stacy
breathing hard, her face a mask of shock. As the contraction
abated, she spoke.
"That hurt," she gasped.
Elena's voice was tender. "Yes, it does, but you really will
be all right."
"I want to go home, Elena." Stacy's voice was Just short of anic.
"I want to see Papa."I
Elena didn't answer because she was already ringing for a I
servant. Within five minutes Stacy was headed to Morgan,
Elena by her side. Stacy had another contraction in the coach
and another as she walked in the front door. Hettie was there
to assist her, and her grandfather, who was almost completely
blind now, hovered nearby. Elena spoke words of encouragement
as they made their way upstairs, and all of them wondered
if it was going to be a long day and possibly a longer night.
"She's lost a lot of blood."
The physician's voice came to Stacy as if through a fog. She
wanted to open her eyes and ask whom they were talking
about, but her body wouldn't obey. At least the pain was gone.
Her brow furrowed when she realized she hadn't heard a baby
cry. Wasn't all the pain supposed to give her a baby? Again she
wanted to ask questions but couldn't seem to make herself
171
ik. She floated on the brink of sleep for some moments
fore she drifted out completely.
It was a day and a half later, when Hettie was forcing water
m her throat, that Stacy woke to coherency. It took a
ment to find her bearings, but after just a second of awkrdness
she lifted her head and drank with thirst. Hettie's
teyes were suspiciously moist by the time Stacy lay back down
fwith a sigh.
"Thank you." The younger woman's voice was little better
than a croak.
Hettie had to clear her throat before she could speak in
her matter-of-fact tone. "I thought we were going to lose you,
love."
"My baby, Hettie." Stacy's senses were quickly returning
to her, and she gave no thought to her own life. "Where is my
baby?"
"He's in the cradle yonder."
"He?"
"Um hmm. A boy--the biggest I've ever seen."
"A boy." Stacy said out loud, but in her heart she prayed as
a strange mixture of delight and sadness filled her.
I've given Tanner an heir, Lord Will he ever know? Will be
ever want us back? My little boy is the future Duke of Cambridge.
Will the present duke ever acknowledge him?
Please give me peace. Please help me to see Your hand in
all of this so I can go on and be the mother I need to be. Please
cause Tanner to miss me and send for me.
Averse came to Stacy then, one from Philippians 4, exhorting
believers to give up anxiety and put everything in God's
care. She meditated on the words until she felt drowsy again.
She would have dropped off, but the sound of a small cry
brought her fully awake.
The little person in the cradle was at full volume by the
time Hettie got to the cradle, lifted him into her arms, and
brought him to his mother's side. Hettie jostled him gently as
she spoke.
172
"Do you feel up to nursing, love? I've a girl here from tti
village, a nice clean girl named Felicity whose baby is a montM
old. She's let him nurse since she's plenty to spare, but fl thought you might want to do it yourself."'
Stacy could only stare at the longtime servant. What was
she talking about? Had she really been asleep that long?
"What day is it, Hettie?"
Hettie saw the confusion in her mistress' face and kindly
explained
"The baby was born late Wednesday night and this is
Friday morning. We had to get him some nourishment."
Stacy nodded, her face clearing. She wouldn't have believed
she could sleep that long, but then she realized how
achy her body felt. Suddenly the doctor's comment about the
loss of blood made sense. The thought of another woman
feeding her baby was a bit disconcerting, but she was glad
someone had been found.
"Well, love," Hettie went on, "do you want to give it a go?
I've no doubt you'll have plenty of milk, but it's a full commitment
once you start."
Every inch of Stacy's body ached, but at the moment all
that mattered was the howling infant just out of her reach.
With the rise of Stacy's arm, Hettie moved. She gently laid the
little lord in the crook of his mother's arm and fought tears
once again.
Stacy took one look at the screaming infant and laughed.
He was red with fury, his face balled up in anger, and Stacy
didn't know when anything was so precious or so funny.
"Shhh," she spoke softly, laughter still filling her voice.
"Don't cry, my darling. Mummy's here."
To Stacy's delight and amazement, the baby stopped crying
and turned yet unfocused eyes toward her voice.
"There now," she continued tenderly. "Everything is going
to be fine. Hettie and I are going to take very good care of
you." Stacy spoke for a few minutes longer, but the infant's
Once again he began to howl.
173
With a bit of maneuvering Hettie helped Stacy into a
ition on her side so she could nurse her baby. Her body
^..ied at her to lie still, but she ignored its demands and
;d in fascination at the child who finally lay quiet at her
ist. He was beautiful, with a head full of blond hair and
__ i like the petal of a rose. In fact he was pretty enough to be
t'girl. Stacy said as much to Hettie.
"It might be better if he had been" was Hettie's negative
iment.
"Why do you say that?"
"If his father gets wind of his arrival, he'll probably come
-and take the boy."
1 Hettie did not stick around after she spoke these depressing
thoughts, and Stacy, who suddenly had much on her mind,
was glad for some moments alone.
"What are you going to call him?"
The question came from Andrew Daniels as he sat at
Stacy's bedside. After feeding the baby she had slept for a time,
but now she'd had some lunch. Even though she was as yet
unable to sit up, she felt much refreshed and was thrilled with
her grandfather's presence.
"I was thinking on that just before I fell asleep. He's going
to be Andrew." Stacy watched as a look of delight came over the old man's face. "Andrew Tanner Richardson, and I'll call
him Drew for short."
Andrew cleared his throat a few times. "It's a fine name.
He's a fine boy."
"He is, isn't he?" Stacy's voice held the tone of a child
desperately ne
eding approval. Again Andrew cleared his
throat.
"We almost sacrificed you to have him, and I wouldn't have
cared for that, but I'm glad he's here."
174
"Are you really glad he's here? I mean, I made such
awful mess of my marriage. I wasn't really sure you'd
pleased about my having Tanner's child."
The viscount's face tightened in anger. "The breakup oj your marriage was not your fault, and I don't want to hear you
say such a thing again. It's your husband who's the loser. He'sa
got a beautiful wife and now a son, and it's his loss for not|
claiming either of you."1
Stacy had grown very quiet in the midst of his anger. When ]
the old man was done, he turned fading eyes to her face. He
could barely see her, but the serenity in her gaze was unmistakable. She had changed so much since coming home and
spending time with Elena. At first it had been hard for Andrew
to see her turn to Elena so often, but then he watched her go
from despair to hope and he could no longer find it in his heart
to begrudge her the help.
And if the truth be stated, Stacy's relationship with Elena
had caused no distance between her and the man who raised
her. Grandfather and granddaughter were as close as they had
ever been.
"Are you going to write Tanner and tell him he has an
heir?" The question came after just a moment of silence, but
Stacy answered immediately.
"No. I seriously doubt that his knowing would, change
anything, and it would only feel like one more rejection."
"But you will continue to write to him?"
"Yes. As soon as I'm on my feet again. I tried to get Hettie to
take down a letter for me, but when she found out it was to
Tanner, she refused."
Andrew nodded. Hettie had muttered to herself for an
hour after Stacy's request, and it wasn't at all hard to figure
out what had set her off. The older woman had never taken to
Stacy's marrying someone from London, no matter who he
was. Then when she'd met him, she thought him too good-looking
and smooth to be real. Once Stacy returned to
Middlesbrough, and Hettie had heard the entire story of the
way she'd been sent away, dislike had turned to loathing.
175
f
^Andrew's reflections were interrupted when Stacy yawned
I better let you get some rest," he commented
Stacy smiled sleepily. "I could use some sleep. Hettie said
Felicity has been wonderful, but Drew can be rather